Victory to you, the end of the world to me
Today is the day, my 15th birthday. The day I go off and learn to be a lady. I breathed out a sigh. How I wish I was born a boy, how I wish I could learn to fight like my brother. He is so lucky, he will get to use swords and learn battle techniques.
'Stupid law' I muttered to myself.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard approaching footsteps coming down the hall. It must be my father making sure I am ready to leave. I sighed again. He knocked lightly and slowly pushed the door open. It was not my father, it was Harry!
"Harry," I squealed as I ran over and gave him a hug. I would not be seeing him for such a long time; I would miss him so much. He is my twin brother, and my best friend.
"Hello," He replied with a small, wary smile on his face, something was up. I pulled away to get a better look at him.
"What is wrong? Harry, what is it?" I asked him.
"It is nothing Rosie. I am just a little nervous."
He was biting his lip – a dead give away – there was more to it than that.
"Harry," I whined, "please tell me!?"
"Well," He let out a huge sigh, "I do not want to be a knight. I do not want to have to kill or train or fight!!"
He said this all in such a rush, it took me a minute to catch onto what he was saying.
"WHAT?!" I yelled, "YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A KNIGHT?!"
"Rosie, please be quiet," He said with embarrassment crossing his features. I tried to calm myself down, but why had he not told me this before?
"Harry, how can you not want to be a knight?" I was trying my best to be reasonable.
"Umm," he was fumbling around for something to say, "I want to learn magic, it is fascinating and the powers are simply superb. You can do so much good, heal people and quench the thirst of a town. It would be amazing!"
He had a wary smile on his face; I could tell he was happy to get this all off his chest. But all I could do was just stare at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world.
"Come on Rosie, it is not that hard to understand. I want to learn magic; you want to be a knight."
He wants to learn magic; I want to be a knight. HE wants to learn MAGIC; I want to be a KNIGHT!
"Harry!" I shouted, "You want to learn magic, I want to be a knight!"
"Umm, I know Rosie that is what I just said?" He had confusion all over his face.
"Do you not see? It is perfect!"
"But I do not understand, what is so perfect? Neither of us can be what we really want to."
"But that is just it, we can!" I was so excited at this point I could barley contain myself from jumping around my room. "You could go in my place to Clapton and learn magic, while I go in yours to Amery and learn to fight!"
I was speaking so fast that at first I was not sure he heard me. But by the horrified look on his face, he had.
"Rose, you can not be serious!" It seemed like he was on the verge of hysterics. "If we were caught, we would be sentenced to death, there is no way we would be able to get out of it!"
I bit my lip, he was right. If we were caught the King would behead us before we could say even one word. But what if we did not get caught? We would get to do what we wanted. Fighting, magic, it is what we both wanted to do more than anything. I went over to my bed at sat down. I had a lot to think about.
"Come on Rosie, we need to finish getting ready," Harry said after a few minutes. He was heading for the door, this was my last chance and I had my mind made up.
"Harry?" I called out, "Harry, would you be willing to do it, even at the risk? Would you be willing to swap places with me to do what you want most?"
I could see so many emotions crossing his features, but the most dominate was uncertainty.
"I, I … I do not know. The risk is so big. Rose, we would be condemning ourselves to death."
"But you could learn magic! Father has enough power to be able to get us out of trouble if we are discovered. But we will not be. It will be so easy, all I would have to do is cut my hair and we will both wear head clothes until we reach the camps. You said yourself that it would be amazing."
The look on his face told me he was concentrating hard, so I left him. After a minute he walked towards me and pulled me into his arms.
"Oh Rosie," He sighed, "I'm holding you responsible if either of us die."
I let out a small squeal and hugged him tighter.
"Thank you," I whispered in his ear.
"If we make it out of this, you owe me big time. But now we have to get ready. Good luck Rose."
"You too," I replied as he walked out the door.
* * * * * * * *
About two hour later I walked out my bedroom door with my trunk of clothes and hair cut short. It was time to leave and boy was I excited. This morning I had been dreading leaving Latham, but now I could not wait. Alan – my father – was waiting for Harry and me on the porch when I opened the big oak doors.
"Children, I would like you to meet your instructors," My father began. Luckily both Harry and I were wearing head clothes so father would not suspect anything, just yet.
"Rose, this is Maggie." My father gestured towards a small girl with long, blonde hair that nearly went all the way down to her waist. She had a very pretty face with angular features and was wearing a long purple skirt, a blue top and a head cloth like me.
"Hello Rose," Maggie said in a very childlike voice. I quickly elbowed Harry and he gave her a small wave.
"And Harry, this is Reed," My father continued, this time gesturing towards a tall man with very profound muscles. His hair was the most gorgeous jet black, slightly messy and his face had the most perfect features I had ever seen. Hold on, what did I just say? Perfect features, gorgeous hair? No way could I be thinking this, what is he, 40? This time it was Harry who elbowed me.
I nodded my head towards Reed.
"Okay Harry, Rose, time to go," my father said pulling us both into a hug, "I will see you both as soon as possible."
I turned towards Harry, gave him a huge hug and whispered in his ear, "Have fun Rosie, you will do great." He gave a small laugh and headed over to Maggie. He carefully pulled himself onto the horse Maggie and pointed out, and then he was gone. I walked over to Reed and shook his hand.
"Harry, this is Azure. He will be your horse for the whole time you are at Amery," Reed said. His voice was beautiful. It was so sweet, like honey, but definitely not sickly. Perfect. Snap out of it Rose! He is going to be your teacher. I sighed then answered him in the manliest voice I could manage.
"Thank you," and with that, I jumped up on Azure and we were off.
We had been traveling for about 4 hours now, only making small talk and not bothering to keep a conversation going. I had found out that Reed was only 17 and had been at Amery since he was 12. His father had died fighting in a war so his mother sent him away. He was still only young so helped with making weapons and cleaning the horse's stalls. Even though he was not allowed to train with all the older men he would sometimes practice with the weapons he made. When Reed was 15 he was allowed to train to become a knight with the others.
I had told him all about my 'sister,' father and how my mother had died when I was only 3. I could not remember much about her, but I did know how much she had cared for Harry and me. It had been silent for a while now until Reed spoke.
"Ok Harry, Amery is just over this hill. Are you excited?"
"Sure," I replied nonchalantly, "It should be great." Though really, I could hardly wait!
We were just reaching the top of a large hill. I looked down into the valley below us and inside a very large stone wall was the most stunning place I had ever seen. There was green vegetation everywhere and large brown oak trees in the fields. Big hay stacks piled up with archery targets on them, horses running around in the green grass and knights fighting with swords. A delighted beam appeared on my face as I took in all my surroundings.
Azure trotted into the valley while Reed followed behind. I was still in awe over the exquisite views around me as we entered a stable.
"Harry, you can leave Azure in the stables and then come with me to meet Stan, your instructor," Reed informed me.
"Wait, I thought you were my instructor!" I hoped he could not notice the disappointment in my voice, or the feminism.
"I will still be helping you, but as your mentor. You see everybody in Amery had someone to help them, like a personal trainer. You can ask for my help whenever you need. Stan will teach you everything you need to learn to become a knight though. He has been teaching here since I arrived, so is very skilled and wise." Oh, right. No wonder Reed picked me up, Stan would have been busy training everyone else. God, how lucky am I to get Reed as my mentor?! Answer, very.
"Okay then, take me to your leader," I joked. Reed gave a light chuckle and led me towards a large field with a picket fence around it.
There was a man standing against the fence. His hair was a nutmeg brown, cropped short and by the looks of it, starting to grey. The man had knee-length khaki pants on and a sleeveless shirt. This must be Stan.
"Stan," Reed began, "This is Harry from Latham, Harry this is Stan, your instructor.
"Well hello Harry, it is very pleasant to meet you. I will have Reed show you to your room and we will begin your training tomorrow at 7 o'clock sharp," Stan briefed me.
Reed walked me towards a bunch of small houses and stopped in front of ones door. I guess this is my stop.
"Ok, this is where you will be sleeping while you are here. Your new companions should be able to help with anything you need, so I will see you tomorrow," Reed told me. Darn it, I am going to have to share a room, oh well, I will manage.
"Sure." I opened the door and stepped in. There were 3 boys sitting on the ground talking, but they all stopped to look up at me. I decided I should introduce myself; it was starting to get awkward with them staring at me.
"Umm … hello, I am Harry," I said. One of the boys stood up, he was quiet tall and had honey blonde hair.
"Hello, welcome to your new home. I am Greg, this is Alexander and this here is Paul," he pointed out all the boys. Alexander had very dark brown hair, almost mistaken for black and was the shortest of the lot, while Paul had copper red hair. They were all wearing long pants and sleeveless tops; it must be the dress code here.
"This can be your bed if you like," Greg continued pointing to a bed near the corner of the room.
"Thank you," I replied sincerely. I walked over to the bed and placed all my things under it. I hoped under the covers since it was getting late and the others followed suit. I closed my eyes thinking about the great day I would have tomorrow and that night I dreamt of war. I can not wait.
* * * * * * * *
The next morning I woke to the sound of a ringing bell. Hooray! It was finally time to start training! I noticed the others were still not quiet awake so I took the chance to get dressed for the day. I put on some knee-length tan pants and a grey sleeveless shirt to match what everyone else had on. I woke the others up and let them get changed while I waited outside the door. When they were all done Greg led me towards a building, saying it was where we ate meals. After we had finished our breakfast I thanked them all for helping me and Alexander showed me where to go for training.
"Thank you Alexander, really," I said as we stopped at the picket fence I met Stan at yesterday, "I will see you later tonight, okay?"
"Okay, bye," Alexander called behind him, walking off.
After a few minutes more people started gathering around along with Stan and Reed.
"Okay first timers, time to start training, half of you with Reed and the other half with me please," Stan instructed. I walked over to Reed, while the other knights-to-be split in half.
"Right, now today we will be practicing using a sword," Stan shouted, "Take one out of the barrels over to your left and we will get started."
Everyone moved towards the barrels and took a sword, then headed back to our instructors.
"Now Reed could you please help me? Great now we will show you all how to use a sword," Stan continued as Reed went to Stan beside him. Stan and Reed began to duel; I was so excited knowing that someday I would be that good! Watching them move their feet and knowing exactly where to place everything was so spectacular, I could not take my eyes off them! Especially Reed, the way he knew just what to do, how he moved his body … wow!
When they were finished with their display, each took their group and started to train us on how to move our feet.
"Everyone pair up please, then I will watch as you try to duel your opponent," Reed told us.
The rest of the day was spent with everyone fighting everyone and Reed and Stan telling us where to put our feet when an opponent advanced. I had so much fun! I wish Harry could be here to though, he is really missing out. Soon the bell rang again and everyone moved off to the meal hall. I met up with Paul, Alexander and Greg at our table and I told them about my first day of training.
"It was so amazing, how it seemed just like the battle field and the way Stan and Reed moved their feet and …" I rambled on for ages, but always keeping a manly sound to my voice.
"Well, if you are all done, I suggest we get back to our room, it is getting very late," Paul announced after a while longer.
"Good idea, I can't wait for tomorrow," I said happily.
* * * * * * * *
The next few months went on the same and once we had properly mastered how to use a sword we practiced horse riding. Once we could ride a horse, go around obstacles and jump, we started learning how to use a sword on a horse. Stan had said next we would be learning archery, which would be great! I got to know Alexander, Paul and Greg really well. They were really nice, funny and helpful. Also, my feelings for Reed had become more dominant, not a good thing. I had sent a letter to Harry about 2 weeks ago and was so pleased when I got one back today! It read,
Harry,
Learning magic is spectacular; I have now mastered water, fire and earth. I am having trouble with air and spirit though; you are missing out on so much. I wish you could be here; I am missing you so so much. It is very nice to know that you are having a good time. I love you,
Rosie
I had just put the letter away when I heard a loud bang. Wow, what was that?! I ran outside to see all the instructors and mentors gathering the knights-to-be up. There were people running around everywhere and now that I looked properly, I could see canons. We were under attack. Bollocks!
I searched for Reed in the crowd of people but I couldn't see him. I was running aroundfrantically trying to find him, or Paul, or Greg, or Alexander. But they were nowhere to be found. I saw Stan near a stack of crates; he looked like he was trying to calm people down, but only a few were listening to him.
I ran towards Stan, calling his name while I went. He looked up at me and closed the distance between us.
"Harry, you have to get inside the barricades, now!" Stan yelled at me.
"I need to help, please. Everyone is lost, we need to calm them down," I shouted back.
I looked deep into Stan's eyes and he stared straight back into mine, he obviously found something that encouraged him. Stan ran back to the crates and jumped on top of one.
"Everyone listen to me now! We need to get all the first timers to third timers into the barricades. Everyone else is to come with me so we can devise a plan! Okay, MOVE!"
Everyone started moving, fast. But I did not want to miss out on the fight and I could not leave without seeing Reed. So I did the only thing I could think of, I followed Stan. People were still running all over the place, but at least now they knew where they were going.
Stan opened the door of a large building with a court room like set up. He walked quickly up to the front of the room and everyone else filed through the door after him. I spotted Reed standing near the back of the room so I ran up to him and stood against the wall.
"Harry? What are you doing in here; you should be with all the oth ..!" Reed started, but I cut him off.
"I want to help. I can not just sit around hoping everything works out. You need all the help you can get, so now you have me!"
"Harry, get back to the barricades now, I am serious. You could get hurt."
"No," I said stubbornly.
"I will not be held responsible if anything happens to you. I am only letting you stay because I know you can handle it. Just promise me if you get too scared or hurt at all, you will go back to the barricades," Reed informed me. It was the best offer I could hope for.
"Okay," I said my mood more cheerful now, though still very worried. Then Stan started to talk.
"Everyone, I will make this short. You all know where the armory is, get armor and then weapons. Meet back here as quickly as possible so I can brief you on your positions. Go!"
And everyone left. I followed Reed to the armory and quickly got myself into a suit of armor. I grabbed myself a sword and ran quickly to stand by Reed again in the briefing room. Everything was happening so fast, I barely had time to think.
"Now, instructors, I want you in the first line of defense," Stan explained pointing to a large drawing of our set up. "Mentors, I want you in second. All sixths will be third, fifths you are fourth and fourths, you will be at the back. Everyone got that?" Stan asked, but did not wait for a response. "Good, now get moving!"
I started to move towards the fourth line of defense, hoping I would get enough action there, but two strong arms pulled me away.
"Harry, if you are going to be here, I want you to stay with me at all times. Am I clear?" It was Reed. He was still holding my arms and I was so caught up in his touch that he had to ask again. "Harry, is that clear?" I nodded. "Good, now come with me."
Our army was set up outside and I could still hear the cannons firing shots into Amery. Stan was at the very front of our arrangement. I filed into the mentors line, right next to Reed as I waited for our orders.
"CHARGE!" Stan shouted.
Everyone was running at full velocity towards the stone draw bridge. The metal gates were being opened by some of the fourths and they were fully up by the time we charged straight through them. Outside the gates was a horrific scene. People everywhere with swords and muskets, shooting cannon balls into my new home. When the enemy saw us approaching they fired shots with their muskets and their line of defense advanced upon us. I was going to die, how could I be such a hair-brain and think I could help? The only thing I would be doing is causing pain to be inflicted on my family and those I loved. Reed. What was I meant to say to him? Should I confess my sin or die first? All of a sudden I heard the clanging of swords hitting each other and I realised that the two sides had met. I took my sword out of my belt and got ready for the battle ahead.
"Harry, I think you should go back. This is far more dangerous than I expected," Reed told me. Now was my only chance to tell him, but should I?
"Reed," I said in my normal voice, but he did not seem to hear me. I spoke louder this time.
"Reed!" He turned to look at me, stunned. "I am not really Harry; I am Rosie, his sister. We switched places because it is what we both wanted," I explained, trying to sound confident.
"What? Harry, how could you do this to me? To all of us?" Reed exclaimed.
"I told you, I am not Harry. I am so sorry, please do not think of it, we need to fight," I replied and with that, I walked into the battle.
I was truly terrified as I faced my first real opponent. My sword clashing hard against theirs, but I knew I had to believe in myself. I ducked under their blow and stabbed them in the stomach with my sword. They cried in pain and fell to the floor.
It seemed like days, but just before it reached night, the war was over. We had won, though to me, it did not feel like a win. As I looked back behind us at the battle field all I could see was bodies laying motionless on the ground, blood stained. Some of the dead were so young; they had barely had a chance to live their lives. I followed the rest of the survivors back into Amery, the whole time searching for Reed. I was panicking when we reached the briefing room; I had not seen him anywhere. Stan stood up the front once again and looked around the room at all the solemn faces. Panic crossed his features for a brief second, but then it was gone.
"All, please go and get some rest, you have all done so well. Tomorrow meet back in here at 10 o'clock so I can give the report on the dead." Dead. What would I do if Reed was dead? I would surely die with him. Reed was my whole world now, and he may never get a chance to know it.
I walked slowly back to my dorm to tell my friends of what had happened. I would tell them the truth, I had to. I opened the door and walked inside. Alexander, Greg and Paul all looked up at my in surprise but their faces full of relief.
"Hello," I said warily. "I have something to tell you all." They gave me the same shocked look that Reed had given me when he hears my real voice.
"Umm, Harry? What happened to you?" Paul asked me. I sighed, better get this done with.
"I am not really Harry; I am Harry's twin sister, Rosie. Harry and I decided to swap places because I wanted to learn to fight and he wanted to learn magic. I just went out into that war, it was horrific, but I needed to do something to help."
"Wait, you're a girl? And you helped win the war?" Greg asked me completely shocked.
"Yes," I answered. "I am so sorry that I did not tell you and you trusted me this whole time. I really am."
"Oh Lord, you are a girl and you helped win a war!" I heard Alexander say. "Wow, I always knew there was something different about you Har … umm?"
"Rosie?" I questioned.
"Yes, you are an amazing person you know. Going behind everybody's backs to do what you wanted to," Alexander finished.
"What?" I asked. He thought I was amazing, even after all I had done to them?
"You really are," Paul spoke up this time.
"Yes Rosie, even though you did lie," Greg said.
Wow, they still liked me, thought I was amazing!
"Thank you," I told them as I shoved off my armor and slipped into bed.
I had to tell Stan. There was no other choice; I could not go on lying. I walked up to him warily and when he saw me approaching he smiled. Great.
"Harry, you were absolutely wonderful yesterday. You fight like you have been fighting your whole life and …" I interrupted him.
"Stop, I have to tell you something," I said in my normal voice. "I am not Harry, I am his twin sister, a girl, Rosie."
"What?! Do you realise how much trouble you have gotten yourself into …" I listened to his rambling in shame. But then Stan said something that completely shocked me. "But I am glad you did it, you have just changed the future for girls and fighting."
"How … what do you mean?" I questioned.
"You see Rosie, girls have never been allowed to fight, and you knew that. But you came here anyway and are just as capable as any of the men. With you as an example women all over the country should now be able to fight, all because of you," Stan said. I stood there amazed.
"But Rosie, I do have some bad news as well. I think I should tell you first because he was your mentor. Last night in battle, Reed died."
I could not move. I stood rooted to the ground wanting to do anything, but I knew nothing I did could help. Slowly tears fell from my eyes, and I made my legs run, run like there was no tomorrow. I did not stop running until I was far outside Amery's gates, in the middle of the forest. I collapsed to the ground and just let the tears fall from my eyes.
To anyone else it might seem like a victory, but to me, it was the end of the world.
A/N - i hope you liked my story, as you can see, i didn't really use much from Tamora Pierce's books, just the idea about the twin brother and sister swapping places. yeh. review!!