I remember wakening to the sound of my brother's guitar and his soothing deep voice, singing to the song he was playing. His voice was so calming it could almost take away every bad thing that had happened to me ever since I could remember; except the deep sting of pain on the back of my shoulder and my face. If only his voice could help me forget about the pain and tourcher I have endured each day for the past fourteen years I have lived. The fists, the cuts, the burns, and the constant threats of being killed by my own father, while my brother sits and watches, playing his guitar, its just a wonder. Why; after fourteen years, am I still alive? Why does dad turn a blind eye at Carter but show me his hate by taking it out on me, his own daughter?
A loveing father would never do this to his own flesh and blood. My father would. He would even be heartless enough to even lock me in the attic each time I try to run. Each time I run he alway finds me and drags me back home just to lock me back in the attic after he beats me around a bit with his fists or cuts me. This is how I got locked in here again in this God-for-saken house with this man from hell.
Busted lip, shaking hands, and a cut face are what I feel. Showing ribs, tattered, bloody clothes, and a look of no hope on my face are what anyone would see if he would let me out in public. Careing brother, heartless father, and a emotional girl with brusies and a heart of glass are what I have. I have never been to school and never seen anyone else besides Carter, dad and Carter's three friends; like right now.
The sound of Carter's guitar stops and there is a moment of silence; before Carter asks, "How was that?"
A voice answers. "It's better than the last time you played but it was actually pretty good."
"Yeah. It's alright." Another voice said. "It's nothing to get carried away about though." That voice I knew well. It had to be Roger, one of Carter's many friends. This one does not really act like a real friend. Always has something negative to say about something.
"Thanks Roger." Carter said in an unsure voice. "I think?"
"Don't listen to him Carter. I think it was awesome." A girl's voice said. That had to be Jenny, one of his friends that actually do act like his friends. "Where's your sister, Cassie, Carter?" Jenny asked and it went quiet for a moment. "I mean she's barley around anymore and normally never misses you play your guitar."
It took Carter a moment to answer. "She's in her room. She can't come out; because she's grounded."
He must hate it. Having to lie to Jenny, must be hard, since he really likes her. It makes me feel really sorry for him. Just to be sure dad does not get in trouble with the police of his abusive ways to me, he has to keep quiet and lie anytime someone brings my name up in a conversation about where I am and why they barely see me around.
Then I heard footsteps walking downstairs in the hall, coming from the living room and into the kitchen. After a while I heard voices talking in kitchen, I know it was both Jenny and dad just by the way they spoke, but I could not make out most of what they were saying but I heard my name brought into the conversation.
It was not long before I heard Jenny going back to the living room but another set of feet stopping right below the door leading to the attic which is where I am. The door quickly opened and let in the bright light from the hall into the attic, and someone started coming up the ladder, it was dad.
He did not come in all the way just enough so that his head was sticking up into the room, peaking up at me with an aggravated frown. "Change out of those bloody clothes and come downstairs, just while Carter's friends are here." He told me in an angry voice loudly then lowered his voice down a said quietly, "You better come up with an excuse about why you have that cut on your face, too."
"How am I supposed to do that?" I asked in an uncaring voice. "Am I supposed to tell them I fell in the kitchen when you had a bloody knife in your hand?"
"Do that and the next thing that going to get cut will be your neck." Dad said and disappeared back down into the hallway.
I did what he said just so that he would not beat me senselessly. Changed clothes and wiped the dried blood off before climbing down the ladder and walking into the living room, finding Carter, his three friends, and dad.
As soon as I walked into the room all head turned to me and all eyes; except dads, grew wide when they saw my face with the large cut going from my forehead over both my right eye and my lips and stops down at the bottom of my right cheek. Even Carter's eyes were wide, seeing my cut. They were all speechless; except for Roger.
"What's up with your face?" He asked, and Jenny slapped him upside the head. "Sorry, but look at it!"
"Well, you don't have to say it like that." Jenny told him and looked back over to me. "What happened, Cassie?"
I thought for a moment and stared at dad with a large frown, as he stared at me with his arms crossed, leaning up against the wall. Then I said, "I did it." And dad seemed surprised that I said that.
"Why?" Roger asked.
"It doesn't matter." I said quickly and walked over to the couch and sat down in between Jenny and Roger as far from dad as possible. It was still quiet for a moment, and Carter and the others were still staring at me with surprise still on their faces. None of them seemed to be thinking about anything else but my face. "Alright, if all we are going to do is sit here, looking at my cut, I could have just stayed in my room." Then I looked back at dad, seeing him still looking at me but with his hand to his chin; like he was thinking of his next way to torcher me. I do not want to know what the next one is going to be but I do not want to know.
I was getting sick of the stares so I just got up and went in the kitchen, getting a glass of water to help my dry throat. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water from the faucet, bringing it to my lips until I felt the tip of something sharp touch the back of my neck. My bones immediately turned to jelly and my heart stopped cold at the sudden touch of the kitchen knife at my neck.
I swallowed hard and asked scarcely, "What?" Then felt him gliding the blade around to the front of my neck.
"You weren't convincing enough." Dad said with a chuckle, and I just closed my eyes. "I already know what I'm going to do to you next, but I'll be nice enough to wait until Carter and his friends leave."
Why? That was the only thing in my mind. Why? "Why are you doing this to me?"
"I never did like you, not even the moment you were born." Dad said, and the words just cut through me. I always knew dad did not like me for a while now but I never thought he hated me ever since my birth. It hurt, hearing him say that. Then he let out a quiet chuckle as he slid the tip of the knife up to my face, gliding it over the cut he gave me just last night. "You know, I really do enjoy this."
My voice is shaky, but I am still able to ask, "Enjoy what?" Until he gently put the edge of the blade to my lips.
He takes a moment to make sure no one is around; then he pressed up against me and quietly whispered in my ear, "Seeing you so afraid of me." And my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach; until I hear the sound of feet walking through the hallway towards the kitchen. Dad quickly pulled away from me and put the knife down on the counter; before looking to the hall.
Carter and his three friends came through the hall and into the kitchen. Roger and the other friend of theirs went through the front door, but Carter and Jenny waited so he could tell dad, "We're going for a walk through the woods for a while, alright dad."
Dad nodes his head, and Jenny asks, "Can Cassie come, too?"
"Sorry, but she can't." Dad told her, looking at me evilly. "She has things she has to do, and she's not going to be done for some time."
Jenny and Carter gave me a sad look; before running out of the house to catch up with Roger, and the other friend, and dad closed and locked it behind them. I know what Carter's frown was about. He's sad because he knows whats going to happen when I'm left alone with him. Jenny, she has no idea what's going to happen to me but she still has a sad face. She must just be sad about me not being able to go with them and because she thinks I'm the one that cut my face.
As soon as they disappear through the trees of the woods, dad grabs me by my hair, pulling me through the hallway to the ladder to the attic, and drags me up into the attic with me, clawing at his hand and arm to get him to let go of me, but his grip was too strong.
When he made it up the stairs with me, he just tossed me to the floor and closed the attic door. I tried to scurry to my feet, but he just grabbed me by my arm, picking me back up to my feet. I tried to fight away from him but stopped when I felt something sharp touch my neck again.
"Why don't you like me; like you do Carter?" I squeaked. "Is it because mom?" Then his grip on my arm seemed to lessen.
At first I thought he was going to let me go but; when I felt his fist slam into my face, I realized that, it just made him a lot angrier. I slipped from his grip and fell to the floor with dad still standing, kicking me with his big foot.
"Stop!" I screamed, but he still kept kicking me.
Over and over again, smashing his foot into my stomach, chest, and head, I could not take much more. I knew if I took anymore kicks, I would pass out or possibly even die, so that made me think of just pretending to be dead.
I just laid still with my eyes closed and tried my best not to breathe and show that I was still alive, and he stopped. It was still and quiet except for dad's deep breathing, and the sound of the front door opening and closeting along with Carter's voice.
"Cassie!" I heard him yell. "Where are you?" He sounds worried. Must have heard me screaming. "Cassie!" Then the sound of running feet sounded down stairs in through the hallway and the attic door opened. It took a moment before I heard Carter rushing upstairs and him shouting at dad. "Where is she? I heard her screaming!" Then he stopped, and I heard him run to me and felt his hands on my shoulders, shaking me, and I quickly sit up so he can wrap me in his arms to tell me it's okay.
"You worthless piece of shit," Dad says, and I burst into tears for the first time in weeks in Carter's arms with my face pressed into his shirt.
Dad quickly leaves the room and heads down the stairs, but Carter stays with me and quietly tells me that I am safe now. He pulls me closer, and I start talking.
"I cannot take this anymore Carter," I tell him in a loud sob, "I wish I was just bloody dead!"
"No you don't," He says in a sturn voice, "Don't say that. Don't ever say that, Cassie." Carter stays quiet for a moment and lightly kisses the top of my head. Then he opens his mouth to speak but is stoped when Roger's voice yells from downstairs, asking where he went.
"He loves you, Carter, not me," I said, and he just shakes his head, "Why does he even keep me here if he cannot stand me enough to not beat me every time he sees me?"
"Carter," Roger shouts, and I start crying again.
Carter spent the next few moments holding onto me as I cried into his shirt, until Roger started yelling for him more. He told me that he would be back later after they were gone and dad was off at work, if he could find the key. When he was gone, I quickly went and shoved myself in a corner after grabing my sheet off the mattris so I could wrap myself saftly inside and think of it as my shelter from dad. Time quickly went by but I mostly slept it all away, slowly healing from these wounds he has given me. If only time could speed my healing much faster.