although i wish i did, i do not own twilight or any of stephenie meyers character :(

4th of March 1942

I write this in the car on the way to Tanya's, Qillutes reluctantly let us past after seeing my eyes and hearing of my fight with Alden. We were on our way to visit Tanya today, I'd seen her before during the first months of my change, she had visited often but we had only been to hers that one time. We hadn't hunted before we left, but my eyes were slowly returning to there golden colour. They were no longer scarlet but a deep maroon. My hair was black reflecting my mood. I had made

my skin paler and outlined my eyes in thick black liner, we were travelling as Goths today and the sight of Esme and Rosalie with thick make up and thick black tresses, was laughable. Mind you so was seeing Edward wearing a long black leather coat, he truly looked like a vampire, well more like Van Helsing from those tacky movies. We had decided that wherever we would go next me and Rosalie would be sisters and Emmett and Edward brothers, dating each other of course, even though me and Edward weren't together, we were better off a friends anyway, we had shared a kiss once but it had felt unnatural we were practically a couple anyway, he knew me and I knew him better than anyone, we held hands, comforted each other and hugged all the time we just had no romantic feelings for one another, but anyway Edward was looking for true love, I was looking for a way to get over Will preferably with a man I couldn't kill. Instead of wearing a coat like Edwards I had a black skirt on ruffled with pink lace, a tight black top, a black jacket lined with pink silk, black tights and black boots, nice ones though not butch ones. I hadn't abandoned my fashion sense.

We reached Tanya's, the weather was sunny so out windows were all blacked out even though most of our bodies were covered, this was the reason we were Goths. They were the only people to cover up on a sunny day. Ill finish writing later I need to hunt.

I put my diary away. We walked slowly in Carlisle and Edward carrying our bags. Kate greeted us. "New fashion I have yet to hear about?" she asked, her skin sparkling. We beamed back our face's gleaming even through the heavy make-up. "Where's Tanya, and everyone else?" I asked Carlisle.

"Hunting" she explained "which means you can get changed" she laughed. "but of course I must take a photo or Tanya would never forgive me" she pulled out a camera, we all posed gloomy at first playing the part, then Edward put his arms around me, Emmett hugged Rosalie softly, he was still a newborn, and Carlisle held Esme's hand. Then Emmett crossed his eyes and we all giggled as Kate took the last shot.

Then I ran upstairs to the room that I would be sharing with Edward. This home smelt amazing but I couldn't think why? I stripped off and got into the shower, letting the make up run from my face and watching my hair and skin change back to there normal colour. I wasn't as pale as everyone else, I was Italian, and so I looked closer to a normal colour even though since the age of 4 I had lived in England well until after the war. I got out of the shower, and towelled my self dry. I put back on the black top with a pink bra underneath the top of which was showing, pink frenchies and a short denim skirt ripped at the bottom, and then I put on some pink heels. I made my wet hair dry into waist length platinum blonde curls, (for a change, my hair wasn't usually that pale) and put in a bright pink head band and put back on my gold locket that Will had got me and the engagement ring (nothing spectacular just a plain gold band). I flicked on some mascara and some pink bubblegum lipstick. I ran out of my room, where I was confronted by everyone, I changed their hair back and skipped down the stairs.

I was followed by my family, there was Kate already putting the photos into frames. "Hey Kate we're going hunting" said Edward taking the words right out of my mouth. She nodded and I ran out of the door, Edward racing behind me. 'Come on old man ill race you' I thought. I heard his answering thoughts 'you're on old woman'. I ran faster even though I was in front winning then he caught up and we ran at the same pace until Edward's competitive streak took over and he over took me. I raced harder catching back up for a while but it was no good he was faster, I jumped and flew into the air where I remained, flying forward in front of Edward carefully avoiding the trees. "No fair no flying!" he shouted at me, I laughed my hair flying out behind me. "Who said?" I flew at a tree scaling in less than 2 seconds; of course Edward was right behind me silent as the grave, 'you're so lucky that I knew it was you' I thought, "oh and Edward I was wearing heels so you had an unfair advantage" I pointed out.

"Like that hinders you" he also pointed out. Damn this kid was getting better at the comebacks. "oh well I thought I might as well of tried to get away with it" we were silent then as a mountain lion stalked beneath us, I looked at Edward then I jumped falling on the mountain lion beneath me. I killed the lion with one blow no fight, I didn't want to ruin my outfit, I sank my teeth into the lion its warm blood, filling my mouth. "No sharing" asked Edward he joined my sinking his teeth into its neck, we drained it in 10 seconds flat. I sat up licking my lips, "that was my kill!" I said

"We're best friends practically brother and sister get used to sharing"

"You owe me a mountain lion, now come on I want to steel the grizzly bear before Emmett gets it"

I sprinted Edward leading slightly until we reached the clearing where the bear was, wasting no time I ran at the bear, killing it after twisting its neck, as I drained it I heard Emmett's angry cry "THAT WAS MINE!" he yelled. I raised my head, the bear was empty and I was almost full, "Should have been faster get used to sharing we live together" then I kissed him full on the lips giving him a taste. Rosalie didn't complain, she knew that I didn't want him, and besides he was besotted with Rose. I was the only girl other than Esme that she trusted. Emmett swiped at me, catching me slightly on the arm but still managing to send me flying into a tree, I was so unimpressed, I ran at him pulling him up into the air, flying over 50ft before dropping him with a deafening crash that indented the ground.

"You wont be that strong forever big man, I will be" I said swooping out of his way Emmett was still a new born and for now could still tear me too shreds "come on races home I wont cheat." Surprisingly Emmett won followed by Edward, then me, then Rose. Emmett's strength made him faster at running for now, but I refused to be slower than him for much longer. But usually he ran with Rose, but I guess seeing as he had already lost his kill he didn't want to lose. On the way home we stopped to hunt a few deer, not the best I've ever tasted but I quenched my thirst.

As I walked through the door I saw Tanya, the air here smelt amazing so good, I presumed it was human. Then I saw Will, staring in dismay and the photos Kate had taken earlier, if I could have fainted I would have, he couldn't be real, he had died, I had dealt with 13years of agony. Edward reading my thoughts wrapped his arms around my waist. 'This is impossible she died, I saw the body, but that's the family that was with her, maybe, wait what's that smell? Human?' Will thought, he could obviously smell it too. I blocked him out I couldn't listen to him, "Edward, Elle, welcome, where's Carlisle and Esme? And who's this?" said Tanya. Will spun round when he heard my name, I kept my eyes away from him, what if he didn't love me anymore, "there still hunting Tanya, oh this is Rosalie, the beautiful girl Carlisle saved, I told you remember, and this is the lovely newborn Emmett who she saved, their together before you get any idea's, he's also extremely strong even for a new born" I answered, "Welcome to our home" said Tanya, I could feel Will's eyes on me, I looked at him properly, he had changed he was more gorgeous than I had remembered his muscles were more defined, his hair was longer messy and in his eyes, his eyes were golden, in short he was irresistible. He was perfect. Edward let go of me so he could give Tanya a hug, honestly when would she get the fact that he didn't want her? Tanya's thoughts caught my attention 'he doesn't think he wants me well this will show him' she thought hugging Edward, as she did images of her and Will ran through her mind, "excuse me" I said, and walked out of the room, as soon as I was out of sight I let out a stifled despairing sob and ran for it. "Tanya, you know she can read minds, that boy that she was in love with the one that died was him" I heard Edward cry. "I'm sorry I didn't know" she responded sounding aghast. "No" Will muttered. Then I heard Edward and Will cry out "wait Elle". I ran faster, but they were following and Edward was catching up with me so I flew, up into the air. I didn't want to see anyone, I couldn't bare it. I was still in love with him; I thought he had loved me too, but knowing that he didn't and that he had found someone else hurt enough, let alone seeing images of him with her. For the first time in my life I wanted to die, and I couldn't, I was indestructible, there was a way, I would go to Italy, upset the Volturi and they'd do it for me.

I brought a pen and paper in to existence, and wrote a letter to Will, I then ran back home knowing everyone was looking for me, I realised that the scent I thought must have been his, I attempted to wipe away my tears that I could cry because I was different, when a hand caught mine and Edwards eyes bored into mine, "please Elle, don't do this, Tanya was making it up to make me jealous, please, please Elle" he begged. I shook my hand out of his, "Edward you'll know what this feels like one day how much it hurts, I cant live without him anymore now that I know he's alive and with someone else it hurts too much, I don't know but its obvious he doesn't love me" the tears were running thick and fast down my face, "I understand but never forget baby I love you, and ill miss you, but you don't understand he's not with her", he said sobbing without tears. "Where is he then?" I asked.

"He's out there looking for you, he loves Tanya but not in that way"

"Edward I don't know what to believe anymore i've got to go" he looked speechless and I used this to my advantage "Ill miss you too you're my best friend" I hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. I took off my chain with my mothers' wedding ring on it and placed it in his hand.

I went to where Will's scent was the strongest which I presumed was his room, and I found a love story book and pushed the note in and left, with no looking back.