It was horrible.

Kai had been through far more in a couple years than many have been through in their entire lifetimes. He had been in the Underworld, he'd fought a gigantic snake that ate everything in its path, he'd fought Garmadon time and time again...

He'd done these things, yes. But he'd done them with his friends at his side. Cole, Jay, and Zane, and later on, Lloyd, for all their faults that annoyed him every once in a while, were undoubtedly the best friends he'd ever had, and the best partners in a battle. The balanced each other out, they worked as a team. Everyone played a part in the success of a fight. Their dynamic had been perfect.

But then, it had gone all wrong, more wrong than Kai could ever imagine.

They were supposed to beat the Overlord and come out safe and sound-they had armor protecting them from his newly-gained power, they had something that had to work-even their Senseis had believed in it. But it hadn't worked out that way.

Instead, he hung from his precarious position above the city, the only thing keeping him aloft the golden tendril of power the Overlord had stolen from Lloyd, as he leapt, using his friends as stepping stones, grabbing on to the Overlord's golden armor and refusing to let go.

Oh, how he wished Zane had just let go.

Kai had just watched, with everyone else, as Zane hung on to the spike-like armor and let all the energy of the Golden Weapons course through him. He'd watched as the Overlord tried to discourage Zane, make him let go, and he'd watched as Zane spoke back with answers that made Kai doubt he was a nindroid for a few seconds, they'd been so sincere.

When the golden tendrils faded to green and loosened their grip, he'd landed on the ground and yelled at Zane to let go of the armor, just let go….

He'd felt like nothing but the terrible sight of his friend glowing pale blue existed and everything faded away, and he felt a tugging at the back of his neck as Sensei Wu pulled him and Jay back and away from a large ice shard that would have crushed them, and all the while he'd wished that his friend would let go of the armor...

But Zane didn't. He held on, trying to protect them, held on and shot ice at the Overlord until his heart reached critical mass and he was enveloped in an icy explosion that covered a good portion of the city.

It felt horrible, to befriend someone and know them inside and out and feel for them like you would for a brother, and then to lose them forever and think about them and long for them but know you would never see them again…

The probable loss of the Golden Weapons was nothing compared to this.

Zane's sacrifice had only been a couple days ago(it felt like it was yesterday, yet, at the same time, it felt like it had been months since it happened and that empty feeling in his chest had been there forever). They'd all moved to the monastery for the moment, burdening Dareth to teach the kids at Wu's academy just a little longer; Jay and Cole had both gone off to tell their relatives about the funeral that they would be holding in honor of Zane tomorrow, and Kai wasn't sure where Lloyd was-probably with his father and mother, grieving yet finding comfort with them. Sensei Wu had excused himself, saying he wanted to go meditate. Kai knew that his teacher had to be grieving just like everyone else, so he'd given him the space. It wasn't as though he could have done anything else.

As for Nya...he was even less sure where his sister was. He didn't see her often now, and when he did, she looked terribly upset. It was hard to blame her when nobody else felt much better; she'd been so weary of everything, in fact, that she'd essentially put a hold on choosing between Jay and Cole-for the moment, she chose neither. He'd have liked to see them try and argue now.

He was all alone in the monastery, and the silence was deafening, somehow. He'd thought that only noise could make him feel deaf, but silence could as well, he found out. He sat in silence, the aching pain of losing Zane resting in his chest.

He couldn't stand it. He got up and walked...out. He wasn't sure where exactly he was going, but anywhere was better than the monastery, with its normally-peaceful silence. It gave him too much room to think. And at the first opportunity, all his thoughts seemed to jump to Zane. No matter how much he willed himself not to think about that.

He walked, letting his feet and his mind guide where he went, and as his feet went, almost mechanically, one in front of the other, he gave up the struggle to stop the train of thoughts in his head and let his mind wander.

He wasn't sure how long he walked….perhaps an hour, at least, judging by the protests his legs were starting to make about being used. He tried to focus on it and make the thoughts go away. But they wouldn't.

Why did he have to go do that for us? He wondered bitterly. He's always helping others out, but just this once he couldn't have been selfish and let go, could he?

…..Where did you go, Zane?

A sudden force pushed Kai out of his thoughts. With a startled cry, he fell backwards, landing on the (quite hard) ground with a 'thud'. He could barely hear another yell and a matching 'thud' not too far from him.

"Oww! Hey, who bumped into me-YOU!"

Huh? ...Oh great, I must have bumped into someone! Kai looked up at the person he had accidentally run into, and a faint deja vu feeling came to him. Disoriented as he felt though, it was a bit difficult to tell where from...

….Wait. He did know this blonde-haired girl.

It was the girl who he'd tried to flirt with at that gas station where he'd stopped for a bit. He'd ended up getting a soft drink to the face. Fun.

Now, the girl was looking at him with a face that practically exuded anger.

"You're that guy from before!"

Kai uneasily tried to apologize before he got another soda to the face.

"Oh, uh, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you, really-I just didn't look where I was going…" He trailed off as the girl kept staring at him, yet it didn't really seem to be anger anymore. His legs ached in protest as he tried to push himself to his feet; he'd underestimated how long and far he'd walked.

"...Want some help?"

With some surprise, Kai realized the girl was offering a hand to help him up. He waved her off and forced himself to stand. Now that his thoughts were on something other than Zane (who'd been pushed to the back of his head, not quite gone, yet not quite there), he realized how tired he felt and how badly he wanted to sit down somewhere.

"You look like suuuuuch a mess," she commented idly. Kai looked at her wearily.

Why does she care about stuff like how messy my hair is, he wondered impatiently.

"You should go and, like, sit down in there," she continued, waving towards a small convenience shop near a gas station.

It was the same gas station as the one he'd stopped at to fill up the Prototype X-1 Car and rest for a few minutes.

Whether or not this girl cared, his legs were aching badly, it was a bit on the hot side(although warm weather hadn't existed for a few days thanks to Zane), and he wanted to sit down. Secretly grateful, he let the girl open the door, walked into the cool store, and sat down on a bench, letting himself relax a bit.

He was thankful when his thoughts didn't instantly drift to Zane. They were threatening to, however.

"...So." The girl spoke up again, sitting down next to him, on his right.

Kai gave the girl a brief glance. What did she want with him? He'd apologized, hadn't he?

"Have you ever been to Ninjago City?"

Where had this question come from? She'd asked it out of nowhere.

"Oh, my name's Marissa, by the way."

So she'd assumed he wasn't answering because he didn't know her name.

That wasn't the reason he kept quiet. The last time he'd been in New Ninjago City….

Destruction. Golden tendrils. Squeezing. Fear. A leap. Power. Ice, enveloping everything...and he was gone.

"...Yes." He answered brusquely, looking at the ground, in hopes he'd be left alone by the girl(did she say her name was Marissa?) and he could rest.

Unfortunately, there was no such reprieve for him. "Oh, really? I've been there a couple times, and their park is just the greatest! And, like, I heard there was gonna be something there tomorrow-do you know anything about that?"

Kai felt his eyes widen before Marissa even finished speaking, and he made sure to keep looking at the ground, so that she wouldn't see. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

That "something" she asked about...was Zane's funeral. Nothing else had been planned at New Ninjago city's park for the rest of the day tomorrow.

"Well, do you know anything?" Marissa repeated impatiently.

"...Yeah. …..I do…." Just as before, he said it quickly and a bit quietly, hoping for solitude, although knowing this Marissa wouldn't give it to him.

"What's going on over there, then?"

Impatience bubbled up inside of Kai, quickly making way to anger. This girl, who he hardly knew (and who'd thrown a cup of Mountain Dew in his face, no less)-this….this stranger was asking him about the loss of one of his closest friends, who, along with his sister and teacher, he valued and cared for more than anyone.

And he wasn't sure he liked that.

"If you really want to know….it's a funeral! It's a funeral, and it's for one of my friends!" Friend didn't begin to describe Zane, Kai thought bitterly, another pang of sadness tearing through his chest as he stood, ignoring the pain in his legs and facing the girl. "So just...back off!"

What Marissa said next both snapped him out of his thoughts and stopped the angry pounding of his heart and the quick breathing that had come with his outburst and the thoughts of Zane and being unsure whether he wanted to explode with anger or cry a little.

"Oh my gosh! I'm...I'm so sorry, I didn't know…." The girl's tone had changed drastically from slightly impatient to a softer, apologetic, more sympathetic tone. "So….do you mind if I ask how….you know-"

"Might as well tell you," Kai muttered, sitting back down. "I told you I was a super agent...not really. I'm a ninja, and I work in a team with 4-I-I mean, 3 other people," he started, averting his eyes to the floor briefly. The change in numbers was a cruel reminder of Zane's permanent absence.

There was no comment from Marissa.

He continued. He wasn't sure why he was spilling out all of this to a stranger, but it felt like a bit of the weight on his chest had gone when he'd spoken, so he kept talking. He talked about how they had an enemy in digital systems, how he'd gotten out and terrorized the city, how they'd all tried to stop him.

...How they'd all failed. All but Zane.

Marissa was silent and attentive as he spoke.

"The power in that armor is huge," Kai murmured, involuntarily quieting as he remembered the moment. "But he held on, and he shot ice at the Overlord, even though we kept screaming at him to let go. He froze most of the city and killed the Overlord and the nindroids…..but the power was too much, and…."

"Oh, I'm so sorry…" the girl murmured. "That must suck."

You don't know the half of it, Kai thought.

"...I'll come."

"Huh?" Kai looked over at her in mild surprise.

"This Zane...he was your friend. And he saved the whole city. That's pretty respect-worthy," Marissa said in a soft tone unlike the one she'd used earlier. "I'll go to the funeral tomorrow...if….if you're okay with it, of course…"

She certainly sounded sincere. Kai thought for a moment, and nodded softly.

"Sure, I guess you can come…." Suddenly, a thought struck him.

….He'd completely forgotten about Jay, Cole, Lloyd, and Nya. They'd be looking for him!

He cursed to himself. He would have to use a phone to contact Jay. (The blue ninja would be mad enough at him; he didn't need his sister showing her own temperamental side to him. The thought made him shudder a little.)

And he really wasn't all that good with phones….

Whaaaat's Jay's number again? Oh right, it was…. Kai dialed numbers into the phone he'd borrowed from Marissa, ignoring said girl's giggles in the background at his ineptness at handling the phone.

The phone rang for a few seconds, and then a voice sounded through the speaker.

"Yeah, hey, if this is the fangirls club, I thought I told you to leave me alone! Besides, now isn't really a good time. I mean, it's never really a good time when it comes to being mobbed, but hey-"

"Really? Now?"

Kai suppressed a chuckle. That was Jay, alright. And the voice who had interrupted him had more likely than not been Cole.

"Actually, it's, uh...me."

"KAI!?" Both the voices exclaimed the name at once, and he winced and held the phone away from him. Without a chance to explain his situation, a barrage of questions landed on his ears.

"Dude, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN GONE!? We've been looking for you forever!"

"Kai, where are you? Why aren't you at the monastery?"

"Kaaiiiii, how long-"

"Staaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhp!" Kai held out the word as long as he could to get the ninja on the other end of the line to shut up and let him explain.

"I didn't wanna stay in the monastery, so I just kinda walked out. I swear, I had no idea where I was walking."

"Dude, Kai, how….do you even do that? You didn't bump into ANYBODY?"

"Also, Kai, how are you talking to us on a phone right now?"

"Actually, I did bump into someone….I'm using her phone right now. Guys, I can make my way back to the monastery, really….You know I'm okay now, no big deal…"

"You won't be saying that when Nya gets her hands on you," Cole muttered on the other end of the line. "And also. Stay where you are. Jay can track the signal of your call and we can pick you up with the Ultra Dragon."

"You found it?"

"Yep. It must have decided it was tired of flying around all the time. Although Shard's head wasn't very happy….for reasons."

True to their word, Jay and Cole arrived on the Ultra Dragon's back near the remote gas station was (They didn't want to bring it too close, because it might have been a hazard with all the gas, and the girl might have freaked out.)

Kai looked out the convenience store's sole window and saw the sand nearby blow up, as if it had been disturbed by something.

"Hey, how are you gonna get home?" Marissa asked with rather strange timing, looking over at him. "That looks like the beginning of a sandstorm."

"That's no sandstorm," Kai muttered, grinning to himself and feeling a bit more lighthearted than he had in a while. Upon noticing Marissa's confused glance, he added, "Don't worry about it, I have my ways."

"Well, if that's the case, I'll see ya tomorrow at Ninjago City Park," the blonde said, doing a small wave before getting up, walking behind the counter, and fiddling with the machine that counted cash (Kai had no idea what it was called, and he wasn't about to ask.)

Kai got up as well and walked outside, noting that he felt much better after sitting down. A gust whipped up the sand again, and it was coming relatively northwest of him.

He started to walk again, but this time, he walked against the wind and to its source, and as he did so, the wind grew stronger and then it faded. By the time the sand had stopped swirling around, he could see the Ultra Dragon and 2 figures on it, one black, one blue.

"Kai! There you are!" Jay exclaimed, hopping off the Utra Dragon and landing on his feet, then tripping on his feet and stumbling for balance for a second.

"I'm still not sure how you walked all this way so quickly," Cole said, hopping off the Dragon as well (and landing on his feet on a noticeably smoother manner).

"Yeah, well…."

"Aww, whatever. Everyone's waiting at the monastery for us so we can prepare for….you know, that thing…." Jay's face dropped, and Kai felt the pang of sadness in his chest tear through him with a renewed intensity.

"Well, okay. Let's go then," he muttered, clambering on to the four-headed dragon's back. Jay and Cole climbed on after him, and as the Ultra Dragon took off in a storm of sand and flew towards the monastery, Kai reflected on Zane once more-yet it didn't have the same, despairing feel it normally did. Zane's funeral was tomorrow.

He would remember his friend with all the honor and friendship he deserved.

This is my l'il theory as to why that girl from Codename: Arcturus was at Zane's funeral. I didn't really put allll that much effort into it, I just kinda typed it on a whim, but feedback and concrit is accepted nevertheless. :)

I probably won't write for Ninjago again, but I still love this fandom. :P And this was fun to write, although writing as Kai-harder than I expected.

Jay was fun, though. ;P

Also, saying this again: IMAGE BELONGS TO NEON-FROST ON DEVIANTART AND USED WITH PERMISSION.