It was supposed to be her last night in this damn town.
Last night shift at the hospital before she could head to New-York, travelling in the back of the special ambulance that would transfer Joey all the way to the Big Apple.
A new life, a new job.
A fresh start.
Just like they used to dream about.
Except that nothing was the way they had imagined.
Joey wanted a new beginning, away from all the shit he got around here. He had always wanted the best for her. For them. Her big brother, her entire world.
He had been the one paying for med school. Telling her he was cumulating jobs and getting some good business. Thet she didn't have to worry, only to focus on 'becoming a great doctor with a nice badge with our family name on it ».
She believed him. Maybe because it was easier for her. She had no idea what kind of business he was in until the day after her graduation.
The day Charles Barosky came to their apartment to congratulate her and talk to Joey.
She disliked the man at first sight. He introduced himself as a cop but his eyes were telling her he was not all nice and shiny. His eyes. And the way Joey was turning into a good dog every time the guy was around.
They were both involved in some nasty business around the docks, business Joey always refused to talk about. Saying the less she knew, the less involved she would stay.
She should have insisted. But every time her big brother hugged her, telling her it would be okay, she believed him.
Every time.
She sighed and looked at Joey.
He was so pale now, more than he ever had been.
He was stuck on this bed for two years now, in coma, after an overdosis of crack and heroin.
She took his hand and squeezed it hard. « You promised me I'd never have to spend Christmas alone. I wish you could have kept that promise a little longer, brother » , she whispered.
Joey was clean for almost a year back then. Their project to start over in New York was getting closer. She had good job offers she could take. She was good enough at her job to have the luxury to be picky. And him...Joey was a great mechanic. He had magic hands when it came to old cars. She had no doubt he'd find something.
He was confident, just as much as her.
He had even told Barosky he was going to 'retire'. To give his sister the life he had promised her after the accident that cost them their parents.
Less than a week later, she got a call. She was working in the E.R when someone told her the police wanted to talk to her. About her brother found next to the docks, covered in the blood of a dead prostitute.
An ambulance brought him later on. He was unconscious. In coma already.
She remembered how scared she was. She remembered feeling lost. This was maning no sense.
Three scary weeks followed that call. His heart had stopped eight times in the meanwhile and he had never opened his eyes again.
She had refused to give up. To lose hope. To put him in an institution. She had ignored the warnings and the pity looks.
She was going to take care of him and as a matter of fact, she did. A few months after his OD, he had been moved to their family home and she had hired a nurse to take care of him when she had to work at the hospital.
She had spent every moment she could with him, reading for him, cleaning him up, checking on the IVs, waiting for him to wake up.
Checking every day for any improvement of his brain activity.
Hoping for a sign. A word.
An explanation.
Two years later, here she was. She had finally decided to leave for NY. To take that start they both had dreamed about. She had taken care of everything. The house of their grandmother was ready to welcome them. There was a nurse waiting to start the cares at home.
And Kate had two free months ahead of her to get settled before starting her new job. She wanted to take her time to make sure he was comfy, that everything was perfect.
In the hope that the sunlight reaching his closed eyelids every morning in his new bedroom would help him to wake up and that the first thing he would see would be the snow in the garden and the Christmas tree she intented to set in his bedroom.
Their very first white Christmas.
The day before, he had been transferred from their house to the hospital so he could be prepared for the journey. She had spent the day with him, smiling politely to the other doctors and nurses coming to salute them one last time.
And of course to see her 'poor brother'.
She knew she shouldn't get so mad at them for feeling pity. The nurses here knew Joey for he had been brought in a few times over the years. Infection of his catheter once, convulsions another.
All day, they had come in to say goodbye.
All day, she had bitten on her tongue not to say a word.
And when the day shift had finally been over, giving her a short break before the night shift started, a few hours before their big adventure...
Joey's heart stopped.
Just like that, the monitor started to beep and an alarm went on, breaking her heart once more.
It was time to let go and this was Joey's way to tell her he wouldn't go anywhere.
She turned off all the monitors before the alarm alerted the nurses. She didn't need anyone. Not for this.
And here she was now, holding his hand for the last time.
She had prepared herself for this moment. For so long. But right now, she didn't know what to do.
She knew the procedure of course. Calling the death, filling the forms, preparing him for the morgue.
She had done this for others so often she didn't even have to think about it.
But this...this was Joey. And for the first time, she was alone.
A nurse knocked at the door and she wiped away the tear that was rolling over her cheek.
« Dr. Maddox ? I'm sorry to bother you. I know your shift only starts in fifteen minutes bu... », the nurse said before noticing the monitors. She took a step inside and Kate got up.
« Is he... », the nurse asked, frowning.
Kate shook her head. « No, no...not yet. I just turned the sound off. I wanted to get some rest. What is it, Meredith ? », she blurted. She was not ready to let go. Not ready to say goodbye. And certainly not ready to deal with people crying over Joey just yet.
The nurse smiled lightly and stepped back.
« One of the patients in ICU has a defect catheter. I can't reach any surgeon. The hospital is half deserted tonight and I'm the only one running around as it seems. I wondered if you could take care of it. »
Kate glanced at Joey and nodded. « Of course. I'm coming. »
She placed a soft kiss on Joey's temple and murmured. « I'll be right back. I'm not letting go on you just yet. You know how sentimental I can be. »
She stared at his face for a minute before taking a deep breath and following the nurse.
She took the file the nurse held to her and opened it as they walked toward the ICU.
« Oh. It's that biker...the one who got hit by a truck a month ago. I didn't know he was still alive », she commented.
The nurse opened a door to her and explained « It's a miracle he made it that long. He was DOA but the police really insisted we tried to keep him alive. They really want him to pay for what he has done. His injuries are severe. Multiple head traumas, face and neck, crushed ribcage, intern damages, fractures to the arms, hips and legs. He wasn't wearing a helmet but if I got it right, he had no intention to survive the accidentt. They said he rode himself under that truck. Can you imagine that? He got revived in the ER. Brain and cardiac activity are weak but stable. Basically...he doesn't make a good chance for survival but he has one hell of a guardian angel who is not ready to give up on him. », she told Kate before guiding her through the ICU.
Kate stopped and checked on the file once more before looking up. The man was laying on a bed similar to Joey. Tubes, I.V's and monitors surrounding him like watch dogs. She noticed the restrains around his wrists and snorted.
Like this guy was ever trying to escape.
She assumed the cops had been tired to wait for him to wake up and simply tide him up to his bed like a prisoner.
« I heard he went on a killing spree before his final ride », she said as she walked to stand next to him.
The nurse turned on a light above the bed and sighed loudly.
« Oh yeah. I know you never read the headlines but it wasn't pretty. He even shot an old friend of my father. A retired cop from Stockton. Baretsky or something. In the middle of his bakery. It disgusted me of donuts for a while. And it's a shame really. They were making a damn good coffee too.»
Kate froze and tried to keep herself in check. « You mean Barosky...Charles Barosky ? », she asked, voice lower than she expected.
The nurse nodded before checking on her beeper. « Oh can I leave you for a moment ? They need me in Pediatry. »
« Of course. I'll be fine. I'll change the catheter then I'll keep an eye on him. It's my last shift, I only have a mountain of reports to finish before leaving. No active duty for me tonight. You know how administration is.»
« Oh that's right ! We'll miss you. Call me if you need anything ! », the nurse
said before exiting the room.
Kate looked at the patient and grabbed a new catheter from the table next to the bed. Her hands were trembling.
She forced herself to breathe calmly before speaking. « Mr Teller...We never met but it seems I owe you. ».
She prepared the catheter before turning to him. She pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down, leaning in to remove the defect device. « See...the man you killed, Barosky ? He killed my brother. I can't prove it, I never tried. I know what would have happened to me if I had. ».
She paused and cleaned the spot around the tube in his chest.
« My brother worked for him. I suppose he was doing all the dirty jobs this so called model citizen couldn't do himself. He knew too much, I guess. When he told Barosky he wanted out, he got framed. Badly. My brother was clean. And he was proud of it. When the cops told me he probably spent the night with a whore who tried to rob him in the early morning and that he shot her before stealing her drugs to get a fix, I knew it was bullshit. First...my brother wasn't a killer. And second... », she cautiously placed the catheter when it belonged and used tape to keep it into place. « Second, my brother was gay. I was the only one who knew that. So that story made no sense. Barosky came to see me a few days later to check on my brother's condition. He wanted so bad to know if Joey had said anything since that night that I knew he was involved. Afraid Joey would talk and compromise him. »
She checked everything once more before sighing sadly.
« Fate is a bitch, Jax. Joey just died. And here I am, finally hearing what happened to the jerk who's responsible for this mess. Next to the man who avenged us without even knowing. Thank you...I know it's a little late to repay you for this. I wish I had had the courage to talk. To try something...anything to make that guy pay. Not that it would have changed anything. Joey would still have died and you...You did what you had to do, I guess. »
She rubbed her face tiredly.
Saying out loud that Joey was gone had been harder than she thought, even if it was to someone who couldn't hear her.
She looked up at the monitors and shook her head.
« You're stil fighting. Even if you don't mean to. But if you wake up, they'll throw you in jail for the rest of your life. And if you die...well. It won't make this world a better place. No future for Jax Teller no matter what. I'm sorry »
She reached up and took his hand just like she had taken Joey's earlier.
Except this one was warm. He was alive, still.
She frowned and squeezed his hand gently.
« You know, Joey was scared of one thing. To die a meaningless death. He always dreamed of doing things, great things in his life. He was dreaming of a new life for us. Somewhere very far from here. A fresh start. Is it something we don't all dream about ? », she asked, knowing Jax wouldn't replied.
She watched his face, swollen and covered in cuts and bruises where the bones under his skin were still shattered and trying to decide whether to glue together again or not.
« Did you ever dream of that too ? », she wondered out loud.
That's when a terrifying idea crossed her mind. She shivered and bowed her head, trying to process her thoughts.
What if Joey's death wasn't just a coincidence ? What if this all was her brother's last message ?
Her heart freezing her mind to prevent her common sense to take over, she looked at the door. There was no one.
It was like the universe was trying to tell her to just do it.
She got up and grabbed a tube that she used to take some blood from him. She leaned over him and collected hair from his head. She shoved everything into her pocket before walking to the end of the bed to check on his file. She took out the latest results of the CT-scan and memorized the other informations she needed.
She had one night to make this happen.
A few hours to make a difference.
One.
For Joey.
« I'll be back. Don't go anywhere. », she humored, more out of nervosity than anything else.
She walked back to Joey's room and entered before closing the door behind her.
« Joey...I'm about to do the stupidest thing...and I hope that's what you want », she said.
She stood next to him and hugged him one last time before starting to pull out the tubes and wires. She took the time to clean him up as good as she could. Then she bent over him and took a deep breath before holding up a pincet. « I don't want to do this...But we can't neglect any detail. You always said I was smart enough to commit the perfect crime after all. That you were happy I never chose to be a criminal. Well. Here we are. Watch me. »
She watched his face one more before whispering « I love you. Always ».
Then despite the tears filling her eyes, she started to pull out his teeth one by one.
A couple of hours later, she sat down and decided to pause for a moment and checked if there was any blank in her plan.
She had moved Jax to Joey's room. She had covered his face with restraining bandages, the kind that were used sometimes on coma patients who had AVCs and whose features tended to ... « melt » on one side.
The bracelet around his wrist was Joey's. His most visible tattoos were covered in strategically displayed bandages.
Earlier, she had called Meredith to tell her she had just called the death of Jax teller and offered to take care of cleaning up and doing the paperwork for her as she was not herself on active duty.
Meredith hadn't hesitated and accepted.
The perks of being a good doctor without any trouble.
People trusted you without second thoughts.
She was now in the morgue, alone with the remains of her brother and writing down the report about Jax Teller's death.
Trying real hard not to think about what she would have to do next.
Joey's teeth were in the 'Tooth Fairy's Jar ' in the Dental care Unit. It was a big jar where patients, youngs and olders, could leave their removed teeth after dental surgery in exchange for a sweet and a free toothbrush.
She had pulled them out to prevent anyone to use them to check the DNA. Now, lost among hundred, no one would find them.
The sheets his brother had laid on were in the laundry basket along along with Teller's hospital blouse.
Teller was now wearing her brother's.
She filled up the report, her eyes focused on the sheet of paper to not travel to her brother's naked corpse.
She noted every visible injury on the chart, based on what the CT scan results and the files had told her. She added the tube with Jax's blood in it with her report and put both in the coroner's basket.
She knew he would find it in the morning and get himself prepared for the usual autopsy, with a sticker on it indicating that Teller was now in the drawer 2.
Meaning all she had to do now was to make sure he wouldn't have a corpse to work on.
She checked on another chart.
There was two incinerations planned in the morning at 5am. Corpses nobody had claimed were incinerated in the back of the hospital. And with the violence reigning in Charming for the past years, gang members not always being claimed by the ones they called brothers, it was something almost normal around here.
She got up and opened Drawer 1, the one where a corpse planned for incineration was kept.
She didn't opened the body bag. She didn't need to know what the dead man was looking like. She moved him to Drawer 4, that was supposedly empty. Then she wiped out her fingerprints carefully. She couldn't leave any trace.
She turned to Joey and sighed.
« This is where we say goodbye, brother. » she said as she caressed his hair softly.
« I know you didn't want to be buried. You always was claustrophobic. Your ashes won't be spread over Granny's roses after all. I hope you will forgive me. », she leaned in and kissed his forehead before whispering.
« You were dreaming of a second chance and I know Barosky stole it from both of us. But I'm going to do things I can...if he can be saved...I'll give him the chance you deserved. He avenged you. He'll carry your name for a while. This is my way to keep you alive, Joey. I know you would want me to move on, to build a life for myself...I'm not ready for this. I never was. I needed you. I always needed you. I will see you on the other side. »
She closed the body bag over him and let the hair she had taken from Jax fall on the cold tray under him.
When the coroner would find out that the wrong body had been burnt the next day, he might want to check the drawer to be sure. She knew she would.
Let's say she had a thing for details.
Tears now rolling freely over her cheeks, she pushed the corpse inside and closed the metallic door on it before wiping her fingerprints once more and clenching her fists to stop shaking.
She had this under control. She had to.
She exited the morgue and went back to Joey's room. She still had reports to fill before they came to transfer her brother after all.
When 5am hit the clock, she went to get herself a coffee. It was an excuse like another to be around when the assistant in charge with the incinerations came to pick up the two bodies to bring them to their last destination.
When dark smoke started to exit the chimney above her head, Kate leaned against a wall behind a corner and let herself slide on the floor. She allowed herself to cry as bad as she needed.
A last goodbye to her big brother.
Her family.
When she felt strong enough for the last step, she pushed herself up and went back to Joey's room.
It was tim to prepare Teller for the journey.
Standing next to him, she made a few calls. One to be sure the trucks with all her belongs were on the way to New York.
One to make sure the nurse would be there on arrival. She gave her a list of supplies she needed. Teller was in a worse shape than her brother. She would need more than expected.
The nurse didn't discuss. Kate was the doctor after all.
She found the courage to head to the ER one last time to say goodbye to her former coworkers, accepting hugs and flowers with a frozen smile on her lips.
Meredith hugged her as well and thanked her for covering up for her at the ICU.
Kate shrugged and waved a dismissive hand. It was nothing. She had just brought Teller to the morgue and left him there for the coroner to find in the morning, she said. Routine.
When the ambulance arrived for the transfer at 6am, she stood by her 'brother ''s side, giving instructions to make sure he would have everything he needed. She dismissed the paramedic when he asked if he had to stay with her in the back.
No. She was used to take care of Joey. There was nothing to worry about. They were going home, at last.
Once in the ambulance, buckled up next to Teller, she allowed herself to breathe and leaned her forehead against the bed.
« What am I doing ? », she asked out loud. Her hand found Teller's and she grabbed it.
She was responsible for him now. And she didn't even know if he was okay with all that. She had just forced a second chance on someone who had gotten his business done before deciding to exit stage the only way he had come up with.
How would he react when he'd wake up ?
Would he ever wake up to start with ?
As an answer to at least one of her question, a weak grunt escaped the throat of the man next to her.
By reflex, she checked on his vitals. He was stable.
For now.
She looked up just in time to see the sign indicating they were now leaving Charming through the back window of the vehicle.
It was done.
This chapter was closed. She had no idea what the next one would be about. It was terrifying and exciting all at once. And she wouldn't be alone to write it anyway.
She looked back at Teller. «Jax Teller died last night in Charming. His body got incinerated by accident. And you, Joey Maddox, coma patient for two years, you left this damn town with your sister to get a new life on the other side of the country. It won't be easy. It won't be pretty but I'll be by your side every step of the way. We'll get up from this together. If you ever wake up, you'll go through Hell. It will hurt. Everything will be different. Life...us...everything... but you know what ? »
She smiled softly.
« We got this. »
Holding his hand tight into her, she felt a bit stronger. She squeezed it again and repeated ; "Yes. We got this. This is not the end. Just an unexpected beginning."
-The END -