Chapter 1
My story begins almost as normal as it can. With me taking a walk in the forest,minding my own business. It was late in the afternoon and the sun hadn't quite went down to rest, when I come across an unexpected site. I find a girl being attacked by three idiots. Not wanting to be seen I stand behind a tree and observe the situation. The three guys attack the girl and she takes them down easily. "Damn it!When we get our hands on you I'm gonna mess up that pretty face little of yours." one of the attackers says. "I'd like to see you fools lay even a single finger on me." the girl states laughing. "Well looks like she's got this under control." I think to my self as I prepare to leave. However, before I can turn my head a fourth guy comes up and manages to hit her from behind and knows her out.
Following this the three other idiots pin her down. "Well that went south real quick. I'd better get out of here." I starting thinking to myself when one of them spots me. "We can't have any of witnesses. Now can we boys?" one of the attackers says. "Why don't you come on out boy?" another attacker says. I come from behind the tree thinking to myself, "Shit! Why do I always get dragged into shit."
Me:OK. What the hell do you want?
Attacker #1:I know you saw us take down the girl and well... let's just say we can't afford any loose ends.
Me:So you call three of the four of getting your ass handed to you by one chick "taking down" someone?
Attacker #1:We're gonna have to kill you.
Me:Oh really?
Attacker #1:Yes. Really.
Me:And how are you and the three fucking stooges gonna kill me when you couldn't even handle "Goldilocks" over there?
Attacker #1: Ya know kid you got a real smart mouth.
I take a cigarette out my pocket and start smocking it.
Me:Look I really don't care what you do to the girl all I'm trying to do is find a tree to take a nap in.
Attacker #2:Ah. Big bro do we really need to kill him? I mean we got the girl and this guy really hasn't gotten in our way. So maybe we can just quite while we're ahead?
Me:Yes!Listen to the ugly one. He makes sense.
Attacker #1: You dumb ass. If we leave him alive and her old man widens up finding him, he could rat us out.
Attacker #2: And how could he do that?
Attacker #1: You shit for brains he's seen out faces.
Attacker#2: Gee. I never thought of it like that.
Attacker#1: Just shut up and-
The attacker starts looking around and says, "Where the hell did he go? And where the hell is the girl?" Just then a note slowly falls from the air and the attacker reads it.
Dear whoever you are,
You and your dumb ass friends were taking to long to get to your point so I just left. I took the girl with me for no other reason than to piss you off.
Love yours truly A Boss
P.S:Kiss my ass.
Dragging the girl by one of her feet I continue my little walk through the forest in search of my tree. I'd been walking for a few minutes when the girl started to regain consciousness."W-where am I?" she say and then hits her head on a rock knocking her back out. I stop and say, "Did you say something?" I start back walking say, "Guess not." After about another ten minutes I come across a cave. "How the fuck did I end up here?" I say to myself. I look up into the sky and see the moon. It being night time I decide to go into the cave for the night.
The next morning...
"What the hell happened?" the girl says as she wakes up.
Girl:All I remember was kickin the shit outta those three guys and then...(she jumps up and enters a battle stance)Who the hell are you?Where am I? What's that smell and where is the top part of my armor?
Me:Sup. Names' Jaden. And you ask way to much shit.
Girl: Just answer me.
Me:Alright. Your still in the forest. I'm cooking bear. And I'm using your armor as slate for cooking the bear.
Girl:What?That armor has been in my family for generations! Why are you using it like that? Why did you take it off and how did you get it off?
Me:Fuck here we go with all these questions again. OK look. I took the armor off because I was trying to look at the size of your breast. But I got disappointed when I took it off.
Girl: Why did you get disappointed?
Me: The armor made your breast look huge. When I took it off your chest was flat. And anyway I guess this was the bear's home. It attacked. I killed it and now I'm cooking it.
Girl:But how did you get it off?This armor was made to only be able to be taken off by the wearer.
Me:Well let's just say... that I've undressed a lot of women in my time.
"Give me back my armor!" she yells and grads the armor from the fire,burning her hand.
Girl:Ow!
Me: Dumb ass.
She hold her burnt hand, looks at me with suspicious eyes and says "so what now?" I take a bite of my bear and respond with, "I don't know. You can go if you want. I don't really care give a damn what you do?" She raise one eyebrow in confusion and question,"Aren't you with those men that attacked me?" I reply "Nope."
Girl: Then you saved me?
Me: I guess you could say that?
Girl: But why?
Me: For no other reason than to piss those idiots off. That and your breast.
Girl: Wow. Your some hero.
Me: Thank you.
Girl: I was being sarcastic!
I start walking off and she yells, "Hey! Where the hell are going?" I continue walking and ignore her. She grabs her armor and runs to catch up with me. We start walking but after about five minutes something terrible happens...She starts talking.
Girl:So where are we going?
Me:Uh! I'm going to find a tree to take nap in. I don't know where your going.
Girl:How rude! So you save a helpless girl then leave her all alone in a huge forest to fend for herself?
Me: Well you didn't seem that helpless when you were kickin those three guys asses.
Girl: So your just gonna leave me by myself?
Me:That was the original plan but you just keep talking and following me.
Girl:What kind of person are you?
Me:The kind that takes naps in trees.
We stop and she questions why. I point and answer "Because that."
Girl: A tree?
Me: It's not just any tree. It's the tree. Look how tall it is. Like a goddamn skyscraper.
Girl:You can't be serious.
I start cling and she says, "I'm not climbing that."
Me:Good cause was I wasn't gonna tell ya to.
She starts climbing an we reach the top of the tree in about ten minutes. I stand at the top of the tree and over look the entire forest. "Amazing"the girl expresses. "Yeah I guess so." I say laying down on one of the trees large branches. "So your just gonna take a nap! What if you fall?"she exclaims. I put my hat over my face to block the sun and respond,"Then I just fall." She finally shuts up and lays down on a branch.
Everything is quite and the only sound if that of the gentle breeze. I was finally able to enjoy my surroundings. However, as I begin to nod into sleep she begins to once more.
Girl:My name is Sheila by the way. Sheila Kasuno.
Me: …
Sheila: Look I don't know you but thanks for saving me back there. No matter what your reasons for doing so might have been.
Me: ...Ok.
Sheila:The thing is I don't really know my way around this part of the forest and as strong as I am I think it be a lot easier if I had a hand getting back home. So could you-
Me: No.
Sheila: You didn't even let me finish asking.
Me:Oh. My bad. Continue.
Sheila: Would you come with me back home?
Me: …
Sheila: You don't have to stay.
Me: …
Sheila: My family can pay you.
Me: …
Sheila: OK! Give me one good reason why not!
Me: … (snooze)
Sheila:Oh my god are you sleep?
The area goes quite and a breeze of wind passes.
Later...
I hear a mysterious voice saying," Get up!" as someone splashes a bucket of water on me.
Me:Ah. What the fuck. Where the hell am I?