This is a story of one certain….terribly messed up…autobot/decepticon…and this was his thought process as he broke through earth's atmosphere and headed towards the ground
"Oookaaay….coming in a little too fast….okay…Vay too fast. HOLY CRAP VAT VAS ZAT?" that last part would be because of a small earth foul impacting against his armor… "Hey…vy haven't I-OOF! ... " in case you hadn't noticed yet: like blitz wing, he speaks German…and he speaks with a heavy German accent
"Vell….I'm alive at least…now I just need to scan a vehicle so I can—KZZT." That would be him….getting too close to…..something…electrical… " YAY! IT BURNS!" Psycho Kling "Vell zat vas……..odd…" normal Kling "OH LOOK,PRETTY LIGHTS!! I VANNA' GO BLOW SOMEZING UP!!!" Psycho "Vat ze Heck vas zat?" Normal "OOOH…LOOK AT ZAT ONE!" aaand psycho again. The previous comment was directed towards a 2003 jaguar XKR coupe. Which, of course, he scanned. He then proceeded to transform, drive onto the freeway…under a semi, off the on ramp, and through a chicken coop…much to the proprietor's dismay.
" Ooooooo….look at the pretty red and blue flashing lights!" that would be Psycho Kling again…being chased by the police ((don't worry, just giving you a bit of back story, we'll get to what he's doing now later on…..hmm…well if that isn't oxymoronic I don't know what is)) he then proceeded to blare "99 luft balloons" over the radio, simply because he discovered he likes the song. He then started switching through the radio frequencies, including the ones he shouldn't have, "how is this possible?" you may be asking your screen and for some reason expecting a reply, well the answer is: BECAUSE HE'S A FREAKING ROBOT FROM OUTER SPACE! Anyway, he stumbled across a police frequency "uhh, dispatch, be advised, I'm currently in pursuit of a black 2003 jaguar XKE coupe, requesting backup" "ooooh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho he's gooonna geet iiit!" still Psycho Klang, totally confident until he heard "Pull over" out of a loudspeaker from the car behind him, he obliged, but rather than doing the smart thing, which would be to project a hologram in the front seat of a human. He did the funny thing and projected a hologram of a dog, paws up on the steering wheel, the officer searched for two hours before finally returning to the driver side window "uuuhhh….license and registration please?" the dog obliged, Klang changing some things around internally, adjusting air flow so that it would look like the dog was picking up the required paper, the officer looked like he would pass out then and there after seeing that "aand your insurance?" the dog growled at him "right, stupid question" the officer then proceeded to walk towards his squad car, he made it halfway before passing out, Klang seized his opportunity, driving quickly away. That is, until he reached a military base, which made a rather nice fireball….. An oil depot, which made an even better fireball, and an orphanage, which he left alone. ((come on, did you really expect him to blow up an orphanage? he's crazy, not evil)) now, in the middle of all these explosions you would think someone would've noticed, right? Well someone did, it just wasn't the autobots…
END OF FIRST CHAPTER