Why was everyone acting so strangely? It made me so upset, I didn't know what was wrong, nobody seemed to care anymore, it didn't seem to matter, nothing seemed to matter, I didn't know why everything was happening, or even what was happening, it was impulse, it had to be. I had been depressed for months and had gotten no help. I didn't know how to tell my parents. My friends knew, but if they knew this much they would have told somebody, they wouldn't have let it go this far, I never meant for it to go this far. Sure I had talked about it, but was I really afraid? Or did I somehow think maybe, just maybe things would get better. It didn't matter anymore, it was too late, or was it? How was I supposed to say goodbye to my two friends that had always been there for me. What would they think? They deserved better, I didn't want them to think they had failed. It was my life or death situation, I had to either tell somebody, or it was over. Everything would be over, and I didn't have time to wait.
I quickly plug in the phone sitting on my desk and dial the number of my best friend Tawny, or, one of my best friends, I have two, Tawny and Kayla, and I knew they deserved more than this, after all, they put up with me for months, or, years I guess. But lately I knew they were getting sick of everything I was telling them, but yet I also knew they were extremely worried, worried to the point of not being able to sleep, worried to the point of telling someone, I knew if they knew what I did they would have told someone, but it was too late.
"Hello?" I hear the familiar voice of my friend over the receiver.
"Tawny?" I start to cry, "Tawny, I just wanted to tell you bye, and that I love you very much" I should have knew she wasn't just going to let me die, but I guess I was in a sort of frantic state, unable to think of anything but death. Somehow, I wasn't even sure I wanted to die, I was a very confused young girl, my thoughts were racing at the time, I was unable to think clearly and wasn't quite sure what happened.
"Hold on Jill, I'll be right up" I hear my friend half crying over the phone. I tried to convince her not to come, but I knew she would anyways, she only lives down the street so it took less than a minute before I heard the familiar cling of the gate opening and my door opening as my friend cried, telling me that I had promised her I wouldn't do anything stupid, I knew I had made that promise.
I cried out to her how sorry I was, at the time, both of us in tears, as she was half yelling, half crying at me to wake up my mom, after refusing a couple of times, and her threatening to do it if I didn't I finally hurried over to my parent room at the end of the hall where I expected my mom to be in bed, and turned on the lights.
"JILL!!!! TURN OFF THE LIGHT." It was my dad, I didn't want him to know, I started crying and ran to my room, ignoring the looks of my two sisters, confused and asking me what was wrong, my friend comforting me and telling me to call my mom. I had forgotten, it was the day before tax season had ended and she would be working till ten. I grabbed the phone and quickly dialed her number, as I heard her voice I quickly interrupted crying at her to tell her I needed to go to the hospital, little did I know it was a pitiful attempt. Only now do I realize besides a little bit of dry mouth I would have been fine, I guess it was just a cry for help, which I needed very badly.
*Authors Note* Please people REVIEW!! Please do not tell me how you want the story to go, everything in this story is true true TRUE!! (please don't tell on me, I swear ima good girl) well, muahahaha we will see about that ;-)