A/N: It seems I'm on a roll for angsty Ryan fics right now. I can't help it! Anyway, here is my latest, set after S7E20 - what really should have happened, in my opinion. Read and enjoy.

Summary: 'The real torture didn't come from the hands of the Russians who had kidnapped him. It came from the hands of his team.'

Warning - contains swearing and images of strong violence/torture, just one of your five a day.

Disclaimer: No, I do not own any CSI Miami characters or storylines. If I did, I would have one hell of a fun time.

Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees it all playing out in front of him once more. Relives it all again. He sees it, hears it - even feels it. The bruises throb and his back and chest ache. Stark evidence of what he suffered. How can he ever forget?

He feels the gap where a tooth should have been in his mouth with his tongue, and he can still see the cord that was around his neck. The welts are still fresh. They won't be healing anytime soon.

He tries to forget. Closes his eyes and breathes heavily. He tries so damn hard to forget but in trying to forget he remembers. And when he closes his eyes, it's played right before him like some bizarre movie.

Only he can't press pause, and he certainly can't press stop.

"This is not a negotiation. Each time you refuse to talk…We take something away."

The thick Russian accent only serves to add more of a menacing tone to the threat. Which is really a warning, for Ryan knows that they will carry out what they say they will do. The thought makes him panic, though he fights not to show it. He concentrates instead on trying to remain seemingly unaffected by the ominous words.

So he forces himself to look the man in front of him in the eye; forces himself not to show that already he is in pain from the blow to the head from earlier or from his bleeding nose.

"I'm not going to tell you anything…" He says, smirking. Outwardly he appears totally calm about being tied to a chair with a cord around his neck and a thickset Russian telling him he's going to get tortured, but inwardly he's praying that Horatio or Eric or one of the team will find out what has happened to him and come looking for him.

Ryan Wolfe may be someone who rubs people up the wrong way without meaning to, can get himself into a heap of trouble and at times be a jerk - but he isn't stupid. He doesn't wish to get tortured and he knows that his attitude at this current moment in time isn't going to end up fulfilling his wish, yet he is one of those guys who simply doesn't know when to shut up. And he hates being pushed into a corner. So if he's going to suffer, then at least let him go down fighting with a sarcastic retort on his lips and a smirk on his face. Let him release his inner wolf…

So he does.

He finishes off his sentence, with what could be named as his last words.

"So you can just go to hell." He says, continuing to smirk. His kidnapper glares at him and his smirk freezes. Yet he refuses to be intimidated.

'Take that, you bastard!' His eyes are screaming at the Russian, 'You can't scare me!'

There is a short silence, suddenly interrupted when the Russian clenches his gloved fists and starts walking to Ryan. He smirks back, and Ryan shivers, feeling his own grin die. He doesn't know what this man will do to him, but he knows it won't be nice and it will certainly be painful. He braces himself, waiting.

He's walking along the corridor of the labs now. Feels the stares on him. Stares which he ignores. He has to as he can't cope with any more looks of disappointment or anger. But he's breaking inside - it's all too much.

Some tech guy pushes past him, but it's not accidental as he can hear the guy laughing and a muttered "Watch where you're going, Wolfe!" is hissed at him. He feels himself flinching from the push - his arm shouts out to him, desperate to be seen to. Suddenly he feels unbearably claustrophobic.

All he wants is to hide; to escape everything. Those that call themselves his colleagues and his friends have proved to be lying. He has to get away.

He walks onwards, blinks and then he is suddenly back to that crazy movie being played in his mind. But which was once real.

And he had the staring role.

He waits for the first attack… Trying to be as calm inside as he appears to be on the outside.

And it comes.

A fist rains down on his face, hitting him with a powerful blow which causes his vision to blur and that would send him flying if he wasn't strapped to this metal seat. He finds himself screaming as the onslaught continues, with blow after blow inflicting overwhelming pain on his head, chest, back, stomach - on everywhere.

Christ, it hurts.

It hurts so bad and it's still going on and blood is already pouring down his face and he is still screaming and -

It suddenly stops.

He gasps, his head reeling and his stomach heaving. His heart is thumping crazily and all he feels is pain. Pain pain pain pain pain. He can hear the Russian laughing, a coarse, murderously cruel laugh and he knows that this man has only just started and he knows that his man will be the death of him.

But he still won't give up. He's going to annoy the hell out of the guy by not saying a damn word for his life to be spared and refuses to beg either. It's his only way of fighting back. He'll take it with two hands.

"Go to Hell!" He finds himself screaming at his torturer, who momentarily frowns. He hadn't expected him to show so much determination and strength, apparently. But maybe that can play in his favour. Ryan is a gambling man, after all. And this time the stakes had never been higher.

The man then laughs again, having made up his mind to continue and starts again with throwing punch after punch once more. Ribs, collarbone, arms - nothing is spared. Ryan finds himself screaming again. Several kicks are aimed at his stomach and legs and he is now ablaze with the agony this short session of torture has created.

The onslaught of violence is relentless and ongoing and already he can feel his pain threshold being passed. It's pure agony and what makes it worse is that he knows this is only the beginning. But it is his own fault, in a sense - for by refusing to talk he has signed himself over into the hands of a torturer who will push him to breaking point. He remembers that he was once taught that if he was ever in a situation where he was in so much pain that he couldn't cope or think, then he had to imagine a happy scenario; pretend he was there and not in his present situation. Ryan attempts to try this out - he is back at his uncle's house and he's safe, 'cause uncle Ron won't let anything happen to him and -

His daydream is shattered as another punch lands against the side of his face and Ryan can swear that he can see stars. Another punch lands on his nose, and Ryan hears the snap before he feels it. Once he does, however, the heat he feels on his abused nose is similar to a volcano, and pain is now erupting along with the blood which drips down his lips and chin. The coppery taste makes him gag. He moans. He can't do this. Oh dear god, when will this end?

"Please, Horatio...H, please..." His lips move but no words come out. "Please find me..."His prayer is cut short as he shouts out when another blow is delivered to his chest.

He has suffered pain before - a nail in the eye, violent fights at nights and gunfights during his time at patrol - but this supersedes all. He's screaming as he feels bones break and blood flow but he still won't scream for it to end.

Another blow is delivered to his ribs and he feels the smash as his ribs give way. Pain erupts along his right side and a whole new level of agony is reached. He screams the loudest at that one blow. Out of the corner of his eye he can see the Russian smiling. He's enjoying himself.

He discovers that he is shivering. He lightly places a hand on his right side and winces. The action is painful and he is faintly surprised that the drugs he took from what seems like days ago, but in reality to be hours ago have lasted this long.

He's going to need another dose soon.

Ryan walks without knowing where he is going. But he soon finds that he is in the locker rooms. Crouching against his own locker, he leans back and closes his eyes. His back and shoulders ache but he ignores them too.

A lone tear trickles down his face.

Was I the only one who forgot how violent the first couple of minutes of that episode was? I mean, the blood and the screams and then the tooth getting pulled out...
Anyway, review? I'll have the next two chapters up tonight as well, I think. I'm on a roll.