Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Justice For All
Episode One: The Lost Turnabout
Spoilers... duh.
(Toccata and Fugue in D Minor plays) "Tragic misuse of a literal classic." *ding
"Creepy nightmare judge is creepy." *ding
(cutting to Phoenix in the defendant lobby) "Game fakes you out into thinking it isn't going to show you who the culprit is, then shows you the culprit anyway." *ding
(Wellington's face on a black screen) "This closeup." *ding
"If Phoenix was sleeping in the defendant lobby on the couch we normally see in the game, how did the bailiffs not see Wellington assault Phoenix? We can assume they've been here the whole time, right? Are they just statues disguised as bailiffs? Were they too asleep? This is never explained." *ding
"Phoenix is hit with a fire extinguisher and shows signs of a concussion, and literally no one cares. Not even when he gets to court and tries to reveal he has amnesia." *ding
"Phoenix was assaulted in the courthouse and is suffering from temporary amnesia, but they can't delay the trial while he gets medical attention or find a substitute attorney... why, again?" *ding
(Maggey: People are at their best first thing in the morning!) "No they are not." *ding
"Why would all the other lawyers laugh Maggey off? Her case isn't that hard." *ding
(In court) "Phoenix tries to tell everyone he has amnesia, and the judge's response is to admonish him." *ding
"Maggey goes out of her way to deny having sex with Dustin, but we never find out why." *ding
"Game gives no fucks that the defendant is standing on the defense bench here, even though she isn't representing herself, but gets all riled up in later games when Phoenix and Athena do it nine and ten years later. What's changed from now to then?" *ding
"Maggey is on trial for murder, and they put her former trainer/boss in charge of investigating her case. Just because conflict of interest doesn't exist in this universe does not mean that I won't sin the obvious conflict of interest." *ding
"Judge talks about a preliminary hearing here, but the series never mentions them again. Why is that?" *ding
(Maggey acts as our tutorial guide) "Maggey goes from angry to helpful so fast, I got whiplash." *ding
"Gumshoe trained Maggey when she first became a police officer, self identifies as her boss, and is later confirmed to have a crush on her, but can't recognize when her name is misspelled. Neither can anyone else, apparently. I get this is an easy contradiction to start the game with, but how is Phoenix the first one to notice it?" *ding
"Dustin Prince has no pupils. This disturbs me more than it should." *ding
"Also, 'I identified my attacker before dying' cliche. To be fair, this is only the second time the series has used it (third, if we're including Rise from the Ashes), but what is it with killers using these things?" *ding
("How about that? I didn't even noticed!") "Game gets an early start on fucking up spelling and grammar in this game. Since they got started so early, I'll sin it early on too. Consider this a blanket sin for all such errors in the first three cases of the game." *ding
"Maggey and Dustin were talking about marriage after only six months of dating. Rushing it much?" *ding
("Marriage? But wasn't the victim eight years older than her?" "What!? You saying a guy's gotta marry the someone the same age as himself, pal!? ...Mind your own business!") "Game shares its opinion about age gap relationships in this trial. Is this supposed to be meta or foreshadowing for the third episode? I can never be sure on this one." *ding
"In an unusually perceptive move, His Honor calls Gumshoe out for having a crush on the defendant. Nevertheless, he is still considered the best person to be giving testimony against her on behalf of the police department. For some reason." *ding
"If Dustin Prince was a leftie, shouldn't all his friends on the force know this? Is it not public record among the police? Why is no one suspicious he used his non-dominant hand to write so neatly while dying?" *ding
"Three years before Ema Skye was created as a character, Gumshoe loved to brag about scientific investigation. I'd love for this to be a reference, and chronologically in-universe, it could be, but alas." *ding
(Maggey doesn't outright tell Phoenix her boyfriend was left handed) "Co-counsel is vague to put pressure on the player cliche." *ding
(Payne objects, then stutters) "Frivolous Objection cliche." *ding
"Payne forgets he has another witness to the crime until literally a second before a verdict is called. In related news, I think I might know why he's the tutorial prosecutor for this series." *ding
(In recess) "Maggey's response to Phoenix being hit on the head and given amnesia is to... kick him in the head and potentially concuss him a second time. Who let this woman be a cop? And why?!" *ding
"Maya Fey." *removes a sin
(Richard Wellington) "This guy's eye makeup." *ding
"Also, this guy. In a game that features the reappearance of Wendy Oldbag, who thought the game also needed a young male version of her? His rants are abundant, not even remotely funny, and all he does is insult the people around him. Not only is it annoying, but also oddly boring." *three sins (I'd give more, but he doesn't recur as a character)
(One of the joke options is to claim Mr Wellington "loves big bananas!") "Some jokes are funny." *removes a sin
(Wellington's damage animation is him strangling himself) "Well, that's one way to make him be quiet. I can't honestly say I'm opposed to this." *ding
"Wellington felt the need to report his murder to the police and serve as the key witness to his own crime for no discernible benefit. If he hadn't tried to frame Maggey, it's entirely possible he would have gotten away with everything. Culprit foils their own plot." *ding
"Gumshoe claims he graduated from a top-ranked college, but his salary is so low, he can barely afford basic necessities. How are student loans not killing him?" *ding
"Hey, what was Maggey doing after her boyfriend fell? Did she not see Wellington do any of this? She still had her glasses at this point, and she wasn't reporting his death to the police. Was she too hit over the head and given amnesia about what happened that evening? This is never explained." *ding
"Wellington spent fifteen minutes trying to find his glasses. And in those fifteen minutes, absolutely no one walked by and felt the need to do anything about the dead body, call the police, or even question the guy running around frantically. Because that's realistic." *ding
"This Pursuit theme. Is this gonna be the first review where I don't remove a sin?" *ding
(Proving Wellington had heard Maggey's name) "And in the end, the move that saves the defendant's freedom... is the stereotypical white girl alternate spelling of her name. If Maggey had normal parents, she would have been fucked." *ding
"Also, in the second case of the first game and the first case of the second game, the piece of evidence that ultimately does the stereotypical rich brat of a culprit in... is a list of names. Coincidence?" *ding
"Judge calls Payne out on having reused dialogue. I understand this case is shitty, but that is no reason to slack on effort. And why call out your own laziness to begin with?" *ding
"Wellington tries to have a cool breakdown where he laughs maniacally. It fails miserably." *ding
(Wellington tries to argue the phone isn't his) "Is Wellington the only person in the world to not store personal information in his phone? Unless this was a burner he was intentionally using to keep his criminal life separate (a move that is way too smart for this culprit), it should say who he is somewhere. Why doesn't Phoenix try that?" *ding
"Phoenix's shocked animation has no pupils. I forgot to sin it last game, but even so: this bothers me more than it should." *ding
"How did Wellington call his phone to discover Phoenix had it? There's no other phone in this shot!" *ding
"Game does the dramatic 'pan between the characters after an interjection' even if you already know who interjected. So what was the point?" *ding
(Phoenix presents his business card) "Judge says he's going to give us one of his business cards, but hands Phoenix the exact card Phoenix gave him. Does the game think because the writing is illegible that I can't tell they aren't the same? I think the game genuinely believes that." *ding
"Stupid as the culprit is, the final nail in his coffin is that he and Phoenix have the same model cell phone. If either man had any other, or even a different color like Maya, Wellington couldn't have fucked up like this and Phoenix would have lost the case. After all, it doesn't take a smart criminal to get away with shit. Just some really lucky circumstances." *ding
"Game plays Toccata and Fugue at the same time as its Court theme. Those songs sound terrible together." *ding
"One and a half hour trial gameplay (assuming you press every statement before pointing out contradictions and including recesses and cutscenes) somehow took over four hours. I guess this game learned nothing from its prequel?" *ding
"Maggey's terrible life." *ding
"Hey, this is the first case Phoenix ever solves without a mentor ex machina! I guess I forgot this case when I said he can't do anything in the trilogy without Mia. Maybe I hit my head, too." *sin on me for inaccuracy
"Phoenix gets his memory back, but still can't remember who Winston Payne is. Poor guy." *ding
"Ending narration." *ding
Total Sin Tally: 52
Sentence: Erotic Asphyxiation
A/N's: Funny story about this case. For the longest time, all I could remember about this episode was the bananas line and amnesia plotline, so I got it in my head this case was named 'The Forgotten Turnabout'. Imagine my confusion when I got to AAI2 and believed there were two episodes with the same name.
This turnabout wasn't offensively bad, but it was so forgettable that I didn't even remember its name. I wish this game lost this particular turnabout (all it does series-wise is introduce Maggey. They could add a few lines to Recipe for Turnabout introducing her character and no one would be worse off), but then JFA would only have three cases. Ah well.
I wasn't too invested here, but I hope everyone enjoyed my review anyway. The sooner I get through this case and the next two, the sooner I get to the part everyone's actually looking forward to. But until then, thanks for reading, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!