As she walked into the mess hall, she immediately picked up the many looks thrown her way. Her enhanced hearing thanks to Cerberus. Her red eyes looked at each and every one of the people that watched her.
Since surrendering herself and the Normandy to Alliance command two months ago, her natural ice blue eyes has gotten darker, turning red slowly, as she grew angrier. No one was doing anything about the Reapers! Going about their business as if everything was fine. Not only that, other Alliance personnel treated her like...like Kaidan had.
She grabbed her tray of food and sat down at an empty table that was dubbed hers. She sat there a moment and allowed herself time to reflect. If only she had her crew with her...
Feeling her eyes starting to water, she thought about how she had fucked the Illusive Man over. She smirked as she thought about him giving her a crew, trusting his people; Miranda, Jacob, Kelly and the rest of the crew, even EDI.
In the end, she had turned them against him, unintentionally, but no less satisfying.
She looked back up at the many accusing eyes and sighed.
'They didn't even let me keep Space Lieutenant Buzz Light-Hamster.'
The biggest crime of all.
Suddenly, someone sat before her. She didn't need to look at him to know it was James. He was technically her baby sitter.
"Hey, Commander."
"You're not supposed to call me that, James."
"Not hungry?" He asked, seeing that she had yet to touch her food.
Instead of answering, she picked at it, mind elsewhere.
"Mm. This is good," James spoke, biting into his sandwich.
Traitor.
Murderer.
Lunatic.
Inhuman.
Monster.
Group of freaks.
Her hands clenched around her eating utensils as their words hissed in her ear. She lost it when she heard Cerberus Lapdog.
Slamming her knife and fork down, she shot to her feet and with a Throw, slammed the woman across the room into the wall beside her. Many jumped up and or pointed their guns at her.
"You all think I'm a traitor? A murderer? A bloody Cerberus lapdog!?" She snapped.
"Shepard, calm down," James spoke as he tried to slowly move towards her.
Her eyes flashed bright red in her anger.
"You think I wanted to work for them?" She hissed. "I did what I had to do to protect the Galaxy. None of you saw what happened to those human colonies when they were taken! None of you could even begin to understand the shit I've been through in the past year to make sure you could all sit there and judge me. If it weren't for me and my group of freaks, you'd all be fuel for the human Reaper."
"Aevah Shepard, stand down."
Shepard turned to see Anderson and Kaidan had entered the room.
'Heh. Trust the only time Kaidan comes to see me is because I'm causing trouble.'
The blue corona that had caused her body to flare up slowly faded as she moved towards them since they stood by the door.
"This is all fucking bullshit," she hissed to Anderson.
She looked back at all the people in the hall.
"You know what? I wish I hadn't stopped the Collectors since none of you seem grateful for the risks me and my friends took to save your worthless lives. Maybe then, you'd finally see the Reapers as the threat they truly are."
When Kaidan went to put a securing hand on her arm, a Shockwave sent him flying away from her.
"Touch me, Alenko, and you'll lose that hand."
She shot one last hurt look towards Anderson and stormed out.
"Are you seriously considering this?" Kaidan asked Anderson who stood before their two guests. "After what she did in the mess a couple of days ago?"
"She's only like that because she feels cornered, like she's in hostile territory. I know Shepard, and this will help her cool down."
"I know Shepard too, and that's not her."
"With all due respect, Major Alenko, I've know Shepard a lot longer then you and I know in my gut that she is Shepard."
Kaidan grit his teeth before letting out a sigh.
"Yes, sir."
"You can meet with her, but in the mess hall where many eyes will be on you, as well as weapon sights."
"Thank you, Coucillor Anderson."
"Once your visit is over, I'll have to return to the Citadel. They want updates on Shepard."
Shepard sat at her table again, head on the table this time.
"Why the hell am I back here again, James?" She groaned into the table. "I told you I wanted my meals brought to me so I wouldn't have to see these ignorant fools again.
"I was asked to bring you here."
"But why? I don't-"
"Siha."
Shepard stopped mid-sentence as the word reached her ears, even though she almost missed it over the chatter in the hall. She couldn't mistake that croaky voice anywhere. She raised her head with wide eyes that had gone dark with specks of blue. Her eyes landed on Thane and Kolyat by the entrance door with Anderson and Kaidan behind them.
"Thane!"
Jumping from her seat, she ran for the drell and caught him -by surprise- in a hug.
"Siha, I did not expect you to be so welcoming," Thane spoke, small smile on his lips.
"God, you have no idea," she murmured.
When she pulled back, the four males by the door noted that her eyes had brightened to sky blue, practically glowing.
She looked to the drell beside him with a warm smile.
"Kolyat, what a surprise! Here, let's go back to my table so we can sit and chat all we like."
She led them back to her table where James had mysteriously disappeared and sat with them.
"How are you, Shepard? They have been treating you well?" Thane asked.
She shrugged. "Sure. I mean, they haven't hurt me, only grounded me while I wait to be trialed. Can't stand the whispers and rumours though. I got in trouble for turning agressive towards fellow alliance marines in here the other day."
Thane frowned but she quickly changed the subject. "But enough about me. What about you two? Thane, should you even be up and about so much? What have you been doing lately?"
Thane chuckled as he watched Shepard sprout question after question. Clearly, she hadn't talked to many. She was so eager to know what was going on outside the Alliance base.
"I'm fine, Shepard. It is slightly harder to breathe and I can't move like I used to without becoming out of breath, but I am moving nonetheless."
"What about you, Kolyat? How are you?"
"I've been well, Commander Shepard. Since you stopped my assassination attempt, I have been doing some study and trying to get my life back in order. While my father and I haven't fully made up, we're working on it."
"That's great news, Kolyat. I'm so happy for you. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask."
"Thank you, Commander. I appreciate it."
"Please, just Shepard is fine. Technically, I'm not a Commander anymore."
"You'll always be the Commander of the Normandy, Siha," Thane spoke. "Though you have no ship to command, the Normandy can only have one true Commander that knows how to command her and her crew."
She almost cried. "Thanks, Thane. It's been a while since I've heard anything relatively encouraging. Have you had any contact with the others?"
"Not much. Garrus is still on Palaven, trying to convince the Turian Hierarchy to prepare for the Reapers. Tali is still within the Fleet, trying to convince them not to go to war with the Geth. Her time with Legion has given her a different point of view to look at."
Shepard smiled affectionately. Her two dextro aliens who were family to her, even though everyone knew Garrus was her best friend. Tali was like her sister, they confided in each other everything. Even Tali's developing crush for the scarred turian and slight jealousy at Dr. Michel's obvious fondness towards Vakarian.
Shepard laughed softly to herself as she remembered how bright Tali's eyes seemed to glow when teased about her crush in private.
"I heard a rumour that Jack was approached by Alliance brass," Thane continued when Shepard seemed to focus back in on him.
Shepard instantly frowned. "What, why? Is she okay? What did they do? The didn't hurt her? She didn't kill them?"
Thane chuckled as he shook his head. "I don't know what happened, only that they met with her. As far as I can tell, no one has died yet."
She let out a relieved sigh.
"What about Miranda and Jacob? They got away from the Illusive Man, yes?"
Thane nodded. "Miranda disappeared off the grid, hiding since the Illusive Man was what stood between her and her father and Jacob left as well."
"Legion?"
"Disappeared back to the Perseus Veil."
"Hopefully he and Tali can keep the peace between the geth and quarians."
"We can only hope."
"Mordin?"
"Went back to STG."
"Samara?"
"Asari space."
"And Grunt went back to Clan Urdnot on Tuchanka?"
"Yes."
Shepard stared at him curiously. "I'm a little curious about how you know all this."
Thane just smiled at her.
"Secret sources? Old accomplices? Owed favours? Hmm?" She teased.
"They told me."
Kolyat couldn't help but chuckle at the blank look that came over Shepard's face before she blushed and face palmed herself. Thane didn't hide the fact that he was laughing before he started coughing. His coughing turned to hacking which turned to gasping for breath.
Shepard immediately jumped out of her seat and by his side, raising his arms and bending them so his hands were pinned behind his head to allow more oxygen into his lungs. She held them in place with one hand while the other reached around and gently but firmly cupped is throat while her hand came alive with biotics, pulsing and vibrating, urging his windpipe to relax and open.
Kolyat could only watch in shock, frozen in fear, worry and awe.
Seeing Thane slowly deteriorating caused her heart to lurch and her throat t constrict. He had been many things to her while aboard the Normandy SR-2. A friend. A mentor. An Advisor. An anchor. An escape.
He taught her patience where she had none. Understanding where she was stubborn. Stealth and grace to balance her brunt attacks and heavy feet. He gave her balance. He and Garrus were her top two people to take on missions back then.
"I'm fine now, Siha."
Having gotten lost in her thoughts, she looked down to see the understanding in Thane's eyes as he looked up at her. She released his hands and neck and sat back in her seat before taking one of his hands again, holding between her two hands. She looked into his eyes as her own darkened to a deep blue.
"Thane...I don't...It's hard seeing you like this," she murmured as she felt her eyes burning, wanting to tear up.
"Do not grieve for me, Siha," he replied, placing his other hand to cup hers. "You gave me a chance to atone for my mistakes, and you gave me back my son. I have lived a full life and have almost no regrets. When my time comes, I will go with pride."
A tear slid down Shepard's cheek.
"But I...you have taught me so much and I don't want to say goodbye. I wish you had more time. I wish you could live longer to spend more time with Kolyat."
Thane gently brushed the tears away, but they kept falling.
"I understand how hard this must be for you," Thane murmured. "Death by disease is harder to deal with then death in battle."
"Thane-"
"You have seen loved ones die before in the heat of battle and only after the adrenaline has spent do you realise they are gone and there's nothing to do but accept it."
"But with you, I can't do anything," Shepard whispered.
Thane ndoded. "With me, you can't fight my disease. You can't force it to leave me. You have to watch me as I am attacked by the symptoms. You feel-"
"-hopeless," Kolyat and Shepard finished, nodding.
"The universe will be a darker place without you, Thane," Shepard spoke, voice shaking."
"What do you think they're talking about?" Kaidan asked as they watched Shepard talking excitedly at her table. "Do you think they were more then friends?"
"No need to be jealous, Major," Anderson spoke, eyes trained on the drell.
At that moment is when they saw the drell begin to violently cough. They noticed the hall's chatter drop in sound as people watched Shepard jump to help him.
It was still almost silent when she sat back down and held his hand.
"They could have been lovers," Anderson told Kaidan who looked to him in surprise. "They have a bond that's closer then friends, yet not quite lovers. My guess is that they were attracted to one another, yet neither wanted to take that final step."
"Why not?" Kaidan asked, despite himself.
"Probably because he is dying."
"That wouldn't stop Shep-"
"Of course not. But they both love other people."
"Oh."
"You can see how deeply this is hurting her, seeing her friend dying slowly."
Kaidan's eyes instantly spotted the tears falling from Shepard's eyes, even as the drell wiped them away.
"Many people naturally click with Shepard. She has a way of turning heads and changing hearts. I'd even wager Aria T'Loak, the ruler of Omega would have a change of heart if she were to ever spend time alone with Shepard. But few people ever make it into her heart. Joker, Karin, Tali, Garrus, Ashley, Wrex, you and I all have a place in her heart. Clearly, Thane does too and I'd bet that those that followed her through the Omega Relay also have a spot in her heart."
"But they were Cerberus."
"You are a fool if you still hold that against her, Alenko. If you actually read the report, only the crew was Cerberus. The allies she made weren't. Hell, one of them one was an experiment of Cerberus's so you can bet your ass there was no love there."
"But-"
"You are going to need to decide whether you trust Shepard or not. She won't wait for you for long. The more you doubt her, the more she'll push you away. Should something happen and she gets the Normandy back, she would hesitate to let you back on deck. If you look at everyone else, if she said jump, they would jump, no questions asked. If you don't jump, you're wasting her time. That's just how she is. And she has never been wrong."
"I can't just forgive her."
"Maybe you should talk to Liara T'Soni about what happened and ask yourself what exactly she needs to be forgiven for."
As the sun set, the three at the table stood as Anderson approached, Kaidan choosing to remain a respectful distance by the door.
"I guess this is it," Shepard murmured.
"Remember, Siha. Do not grieve for me. I am happy and you should be too."
She embraced Thane tightly.
"Oh, Thane. I just...oh, Thane."
She couldn't find the words but that was okay. He knew. He always knew. She hugged Kolyat, urging him to be strong and then they were gone.
She sat there a moment, lost in her thoughts again as the world continued around her.
A broken laugh softly left her throat as a couple tears fell.
'Maybe, in another life, another time...we could have been together.''
Thane looked up at the sunset as he and Kolyat reached outside. His eyes raised upwards, towards the starry heaven they traversed.
"Kaidan Alenko."
He had been standing there a while before Thane bothered to acknowledge him. Stepping out from behind the door, Kaidan faced the drell's back, who didn't bother to face him, even as Kolyat did.
"If you hurt her, I will kill you."
Thane turned to look at him from over his shoulder.
"Not even Arashu could save you if you do."
Just a little something that had been floating in my head. I realise her eyes don't actually change so quickly but I wanted something to tell others how she was feeling or what she was thinking. Thought it would be cool xDI know Thane offers to protect Kaidan in ME3 but this is before Kaidan is injured and requires protection. As far as Thane knows, Kaidan had emotionally hurt Shepard before he became part of the team and that he was still someone special to her. Makes sense that he'd want to protect her from someone who had broken her heart before, especially if she's still in love with him.
So I don't feel like Thane was OOC too much.
Also, I did say it was non-cannon so it may have little to none affect on the ME3 play out.
Might make a little more sense since Kaidan knows how much Thane cares about Shepard -romantic or otherwise- that'd he'd offer to protect him for Shepard's sake.
No flames please . I'm allergic to fire!