Caveat: If I owned King Arthur I would have better things to do

From Past to Present

Chapter 1

Surprises in the Bedroom

Twenty-one-year-old Hero Torres took her time walking out of a nearby grocery store, desperately trying to carry the three heavy, brown paper bags of parcels. A brisk wind came sneakily from behind her, causing her long, dark brown hair to blow in her face. Quickly she raised her hand and brushed it away.

She was halfway home and the wind was blowing slightly harder now, causing the warm, Summer, air to become momentarily cold. However, she was used to it now. Cold, gloomy weather wasn't uncommon in London, but it was definitely something that had taken time to get used to.

She had been living in London for a little over a year now, working as a massage therapist at a nearby building, ironically called Relax. She had to admit that she wasn't exactly crazy about the job, but it paid well, and to her, that was all that mattered at this point in her life. In fact, there were only two things she liked about working there, and their names were Sienna and Caleb; her two best friends.

Damnit! She cursed mentally as she set the three bags on the ground and stopped to pull her hair up. Quickly, she tied it into a loose chignon, leaving a few strands of hair threatening to escape. Picking up the heavy parcels, she continued walking.

About five minutes later, she came upon the gate to her flat. Finally. She sighed in relief as she opened the gate and made her way to the door. She set down the bags once again as she fiddled with the keys.

After a short struggle with the keys, she opened the door and locked it behind her. Resting her head against the door, she closed her eyes. "T.G.I.F." She said aloud, though to no one in particular.

About fifteen minutes later, she had finally put all of the groceries away. Now, she thought, it's time to get into some p-jays and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the night. Making her way to her bedroom, she began undressing, throwing her shirt onto the floor and kicking her flip-flops aside. As she reached for the clasp of her bra, she came upon her bedroom. Suddenly, she couldn't move.

Standing only a few feet away from her were seven men. Hero could not believe this. Oh my god. Her mouth was hanging open, and her dark eyes were wide. The men just continued to stand motionless; some with blank expressions, some with confused expressions. Clearly, they were confused as well, but they managed to remain calm. However, that wouldn't stop Hero from completely freaking out.

With a loud, ear-piercing scream, Hero ran as fast as she could to her bathroom and locked herself inside. After locking the door, she frantically began moving as much furniture as possible in front of it. "Oh, god! Oh, my god!" She screamed as she shoved small baskets of lotion and hair products in front of the door. Oh my god, what if they try to kill me? She panicked.

After placing as much furniture as possible in front of the bathroom door, she made her way to the shower and shut herself in, crouching down on the still-damp tiles. Who the hell are they? She shouted mentally. What do they want? Oh my god! She thought as she buried her face in her hands.

…

Though Hero was clearly a wreck, the knights continued to stand still, now looking at each other in confusion. "I fink we scared 'er." Bors said as he ran his large hands over the edge of Hero's bedside table.

"Oh, very good, Sir Obvious." Lancelot replied.

"What's that, mop-head?" Bors glanced over at Lancelot.

"At least I have the ability to grow hair." Lancelot retorted.

"Enough." Arthur interrupted. "Let's just try and get back home." Arthur said, examining the room as if he were looking for a way back.

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" Gawaine asked coolly.

"Maybe we should go talk to her." Galahad proposed. "Maybe she knows the-"

"I don't think she could think clearly right now even if she tried." Gawaine replied. "We best leave her alone for a bit. Give her time to calm down."

"We don't have time." Lancelot said, placing a hand on his hip and running his fingers through his dark, curly hair with the other. "Look, why don't I just go talk to her? Maybe I can get something out of her."

"There he goes again." Bors mumbled under his breath. "Batting your eyes and charming her ain't gonna work, Lancey."

"I'll be right back." Lancelot said, ignoring Bor's last comment.

About a minute of searching later, Lancelot came upon Hero's bathroom door and knocked lightly. "Are you in here, milady?" He asked.

Milady? Hero thought to herself, wrinkling her forehead in confusion. What the hell-

"Look, we are not here to harm you. In fact, I'm not even sure why we're here. This whole thing is sort of odd, really. It's…Please, come out milady." Lancelot rested his back against the door.

"Are you insane?" She called out from the bathroom. "There's seven of you out there! If you think I'm coming out you seriously need psychological help!"

Lancelot stood still, quite amazed at how frustrated she sounded. Then again, he couldn't blame her. He, himself had no idea of what was going on at the moment. "Please, lady. Come out."

"Go away or I'll call the cops on you!" She lied. She didn't even have a phone anywhere near her.

"Cops?" Lancelot was confused. Are they some sort of army? Never heard of them before…"I won't move until you come out of there." He retorted, resting against the door once again.

"Neither will I!"

Damn stubborn woman. She wants a challenge?Ha. She'll come out sooner or later. I'll wait here all night if I have to. Lancelot thought to himself.

…

An hour had passed and the knights were still in Hero's bedroom, Lancelot was still in front of the bathroom door, and Hero was still locked inside the bathroom, now humming a song. "…And I won't set you free, I won't set you free. Not to say 'it's over' and come right back to me. But if you're gonna go-"

"Would you please stop with that racket?" Lancelot shouted from outside the door.

"Oh, shut it. No one's keeping you here", She shouted. "And I won't set you free, I won't set you free…"

Lancelot sighed in frustration and rolled his eyes. She is driving me absolutely insane…And then all of a sudden, an idea popped into his head. "Fine. We'll leave." Lancelot said as he stood to his feet.

Hero continued to sit still and did not respond, for she couldn't tell if he was really telling the truth or not.

Lancelot quietly walked back to Hero's bedroom where the knights were scattered about, examining different things. "Now what exactly do you suppose this is?" Gawaine asked as he held up one of Hero's thongs.

"Some sort of string-"

Galahad walked over to Gawaine and took it from his hands, closely examining it. "Hmm. Perhaps it's some sort of slingshot?"

"Any luck?" Arthur interrupted as he looked up at Lancelot and stood to his feet.

"No. But I have a plan." Lancelot replied as the knights began gathering around him."Now," Lancelot began, "I told her we would leave, so we need to hide until she comes out."

Arthur nodded. "And what will we do when she comes out?"

Silence. Lancelot hadn't thought about that part yet. "Erm, I suppose we…well-"

"Way to fink it through, Lancey." Bors laughed.

…

Another hour had passed, and Hero was still locked inside of the bathroom. For the past twenty minutes she had been humming a random tune, trying to distract herself from the loud rumbles of her hungry stomach. Maybe they really did leave… She thought to herself as she stretched out her legs. What? Of course they haven't…it's obviously a trick. Trick or not, I've been in here for…almost two-and-a-half hours…How much longer will I have to wait?

Thirty minutes later, Hero had run out of songs to sing and games to play with herself, so she began moving things away from the door as quietly as possible. They have to be gone by now. I haven't heard a single noise. She tried to convince herself.

After moving all of the furniture and baskets out of the way, she looked around the bathroom for a weapon, just in case the men hadn't really left yet. This will have to do. She thought to herself as she picked up her hair straightener.

Unlocking her bathroom door, she took a deep breath and held on to her 'weapon' tightly. "Hello?" She called, immediately feeling like an idiot afterwards. Silence. She peeked into her bedroom and found not one sign that anyone was still there. She then checked her living room and her kitchen; still, there was no one. Wow. They really did leave. She thought to herself, bending down to pick her shirt off the floor after she realized she was still in her bra.

Suddenly, a man grabbed her from behind as the other six came out of their hiding places. She screamed once again as he covered her mouth. "Shh. We are not here to harm you. You have my word." The man whispered into her ear.

Hero screamed into his hand once again and suddenly began to cry.

"Please…trust me." He said once again. "If I let you go, will you promise not to scream?"

Hero nodded her head as a few tears fell to her cheek. They're going to kill me…

The man then let go of her and she stood motionless. "Who are you?" She asked, crying slightly harder now.

"My name is Artorius Castus, son of Uther Pendragon, and these are my knights. Please do not cry, milady, as we will not harm you." Arthur said.

Hero's mouth dropped open as she scanned her brain for any information on who this man was claiming to be. Artorius Castus…Who the hell-oh my god. Arthur… "What? You're lying..."

"No, I can assure you, milady, that this is quite real." Lancelot said.

Hero stood motionless, mouth gaping, eyes staring. It all fit in. The "milady" shit, their tunics and armor… "What year do you think this is, Arthur?" She asked.

"467." He replied calmly.

"It's 2008." She began. "And I have seven knights standing in my living room."