Never Too Late
Disclaimer: I do not, in any way own Fairy Tail. It belongs to Hiro Mashima. If it did belong to me, I would have made GraLu canon by now... I also don't own the song, Never Too Late by Secondhand Serenade. May I suggest listening to it while reading the fic? It kinda helps. Please enjoy!
Writing here
Coz there's nothing left here
For me to do
Please know that I'm trying to make up for my mistakes
He was stuck writing a letter to Erza. He's been sitting at his desk for over an hour, but he could never muster up the write words to tell her. But what can he tell her? That he was sorry for pushing her away? That he was sorry that he killed Simon? That he was sorry he lost his memories and all the guilt that came with them? What on earth could he possibly say after all that he's done?
And you're moving on
With guilty memories
But I was wrong
To ever test us
This broken road is more than I can take
He knew she was strong. She's endured in her life more than any person should. Sure, the scars will fade and the wounds will heal, but the memories will always haunt the back of her mind. And his mind as well, since he was the reason for most of them. And because of that, he pushed her away, telling himself that it's his punishment for his sins. But it's too much of a sanction for him to bear, even if it is the main goal of Crime Sorcière. The path he chose was definitely broken, but he chose it anyway, hoping to find atonement.
So this is the way that I'll tell you
That I'll leave you alone if you want me to
But I've had enough of this life alone
I'll give it up this time
I know I don't deserve to tell you that I love you
There's nothing in this world I'd take above you
I'm dead inside
Bring me back to life
He said he'd surrender his own life in redemption for what he did to Simon. But she said that the Simon she knew would never want that and that living is a sign of strength, no matter how weak he thinks he is. But he couldn't take it anymore. He fell for her, no matter how much he forced himself not to. And as much as he wanted to tell her…he just can't. He doesn't deserve to after everything he's done. But either way, he'd still love her, even though she doesn't return the feeling (but she obviously does). Above all the darkness that clouded his mind, she was the small ray of light that gave him hope. And she always will be.
I'll leave this note for you to read
So you won't forget that all I need is you
Is you!
And the world is not so clear anymore
Since the day you walked right out that door
I knew all I need is you
He promised he'd write to her. This is the first letter he's writing to her and its doing nothing else but torturing him. He had to fight the urge to say "I love you" in the last few drafts he made, and had to find a way to make it no look like a love letter (which it obviously isn't). So there he was, pen in hand, staring blankly at a blank piece of paper (which was very much like his mind, empty and idle) with a trash in half filled with crumpled up letters, never again to be read. Sighing, he stood up from his chair and left the room, giving himself time to think. Who was he kidding? For seven years he was waiting for her, and when she was already in his grasp, he let her slip away his fingers like water. But unlike water (which was pretty much everywhere), she was harder to find, and once you let go, it would be harder to get back. But that wouldn't stop him. If one thing's for sure, there's another reason why she's like water. He could never live without her.
This is the way that I'll tell you
That I'll leave you alone if you want me to
But I've had enough of this life alone
I'll give it up this time
I know I don't deserve to tell you that I love you
There's nothing in this world I'd take above you
I'm dead inside
Bring me back to life
He went outside and took a walk around the town they were currently staying in. Ultear and Meredy wouldn't mind, besides he won't take too long. Walking on the cobblestone road he felt at peace, but somehow Erza was still glued to his mind. Then he saw a flash of scarlet in a nearby park. He knew who that belonged to. He was about to approach her but he stopped when he was no more than a few away from her. Spinning on his heel he left her to her peace. It was obvious she was here for a mission, nothing more and nothing less. Soon he heard faint footsteps behind him. Immediately quickening is pace, he heard the footsteps grow louder and louder until it felt like they were mere inches behind him. He came to an abrupt stop. Turning around he saw her, scarlet hair blowing in the night air, her brown eyes filled with emotions he swore he only saw when she was around him and in her normal clothing, not with the security she found in her usual armor. He gave her a smile. She smiled back of course, but he knew it was just a cover up for the tears fighting their way out of her brown orbs. He took a step forward to brush some of her hair out of her face and behind her ear. She suddenly wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, as if he would disappear if he were to let her go.
It's never too late
To show you who I am
I know you want to love me
I know you understand
That I could be your missing page
He hugged her back, wrapping his arms around her as she did, both of them sharing the mutual mixed feeling of guilt, happiness and love. He knew exactly what she was going through, the fact that they couldn't (or more accurately, HE couldn't) fall in love with each other, but they fell anyway, the fact that as much as law pushed them away, fate brought them closer and the fact that they were both being selfish…it was just too much. As tears streamed down her face Jellal stroked her hair lightly, the moon and stars being their only witnesses. They both knew the second they pulled away; it would take much longer for them to cross paths again.
Bring me back to life
Bring me back to life
Bring me back to life
Bring me back to life
She was right. He was terrible at lying…especially to himself. Lying that he could bear the punishment he chose, lying that his reason for living is his nonexistent fiancée, lying that he didn't fall for her. The truth can be so cruel sometimes, and the second it hit him like a ton of bricks, he knew it was too late to pull himself back and be forgiven. It was far too late.
This is the way that I'll tell you
That I'll leave you alone if you want me to
But I've had enough of this life alone
I'll give it up this time
I know I don't deserve to tell you that I love you
There's nothing in this world I'd take above you
I'm dead inside
Bring me back to life
But for her it was never too late, and it never will be.
A/N: Hi! This is my VERY FIRST PUBLISHED fic so no flames please? Any way, next FT fic will be GraLu (hopefully coming soon) and expect fluffs, mildly long stories, songfics and random fangirling from yours truly. Farewell for now!