A/N: I wrote this as a one-shot, only because I got the inspiration when my sister and I started speaking in mock Old English. So...yeah.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, NM, Eclipse, or BD.
"That's mine!" I heard Emmett say to Edward.
"Really? How about I get Rose in here and ask her about the ownership?"
I dared not look up from my homework, as I was afraid of what they might've been fighting about.
"I'll tear you apart first!" Emmett said.
"No you shan't," Edward began to use mock Old English. I didn't think he was capable of such humor on his own.
"Yea, I shall smite thee!" Emmett played along.
"Nay. I shall smite thee!"
"Ye shall be smitten!"
"Ye shall be smitten!"
I fought back giggles as the threats continued.
"Thy buttocks shall be conquered!" I heard Emmett cry out before attacking Edward.
Amidst the struggle, I heard Edward call out, "Ye shan't get thine possession back until it proves to be thine own!"
"Dude," Emmett said, getting up. "We're done with the whole thing. I have my… Well, I have it back. You can stop talking funny, now."
"Nay. As much as I'd like to cease, mine own mouth shall continue to betray me." Edward stood up and brushed himself off.
"I shall take Isabella home, then shall I gargle salt water, and should that fail, anything else we may have on hand. Emmett, go forth and find thee Carlisle. I shall be back momentarily."
He then picked me up and ran to my house in no time at all.
"Really, Edward," I said, mimicking him. "Thine mouth may betray thee, but why should it betray mine?" I stopped for a moment, then asked sweetly, "You wouldn't leave me without a kiss, would you?"
He smiled and kissed me chastely on the lips before running back home.
Also, I shan't be writing more to this, but I have other fanfictions, two humors, one romance (all three Twilight). I also have another one, but it's HP. You wouldn't like it, I should think.
Thanks for reading, and please review.