A/N: I've been trying to branch out from solely FFVII stories -not that I've grown tired or lost inspiration, things are just complicated in that part of my brain at the moment. And so here is something that has tried its best to occupy my jumbled thoughts. I hope you enjoy. Please R&R to tell me how I'm doing, I always love hearing feedback on new works.
Standard disclaimers apply-Joss Whedon gets all the credit for FireFly. Background music "Devour" by Marilyn Manson (pretty slow for his style but still extremely good)
"Lost Looks"
by MakoRain
Part 1: Mal
I see her every day and I can't look away. I've managed to be quick and revert my gaze by the time she notices but that's just it, she notices. I'm getting sloppier, pulling away at the last second to look down at my gun in my hands or to my empty palms, calloused with too many fights and not enough happy memories.
She's going to catch me one day I just know it and then I won't be able to run.
I'll be caught, spell bound by those big brown eyes and long dark hair and all those shiny get ups she wears. Her feminine whiles will be the end of me. The way she flaunts them in my face and every day I try to fight it, try not to inhale the mystifying scent of her or touch that porcelain skin.
I bet it's soft as a feather and just as fragile no matter how tough she tries to act; it's just that-an act.
The cracks show and she bleeds the same as us and yet she tries twice as hard to cover it up. I never want her to hide those imperfections from me though; they keep me looking longer and deeper past that flawless untouchable beauty that I have no right or chance in hell to sully.
Those flaws she may see in the mirror are dull in comparison to what I've done, what I've seen, what I am.
Yep, I've got no right.
All that'll change when and I mean when she catches me watching her and I've got to think on that.
Gorramit, too late.
Part 2: Inara
I feel his eyes on me every day and it takes all of my strength of will not to turn and stare right back.
He's such a hypocrite, claiming that nobility and self loathing as the higher road to stay away from me but I'll never let him know how much that stings. I can see it in his eyes, or more appropriately in the way his eyes trace the lines of his palms when I gather the nerve to look.
Those hands must have seen so much, such hardships and loss, pain, death. I long to take them in mine and trace those lines, those scars no one else can see deep down besides me, he can never hide from me.
He may think of himself as not amounting to much of anything but I know the real reason he hides.
My occupation as a companion is only part of it and no matter how much I say he can't make me feel shame; I feel my cheeks flush with it and see it in my reflection when he leaves. But that's not it, not even the biggest part.
No, he won't let me in because he doesn't want complications. I fog things up as he's elegantly put it once before but only once, the only real time that he let my presence affect him outwardly at all.
I may be beautiful, but I'm just one of the pretty faces here. His other choices are either married, sisterly, or under age. It makes perfect sense that he would show interest in me, except that he hasn't, besides to call me a complication, a problem, a nuisance.
Sometimes I ask myself why I ever came back to Serenity, and then I catch his eyes looking my way and I know my answer.
Gosa, if only he could admit or were capable of feeling the same, then I might be able to do something with these confusing emotions besides stuff them back deep within myself as I must do time and time again.
He may try to look away but when his eyes linger over my face, my slender nose or my full lips, my hazel eyes will look upon him the same way, with that same sense of longing and then there will be no escape.
I dare you, Captain Mal Reynolds, to look deep into my startlingly entranced and widening eyes as I look back into your equally deep and dialating ones and be the first to look away because I can't do it anymore, I just can't.
Part 3: Mal and Inara
Lost looks can always be found again.
"I'll love you if you let me."
I can't believe that I'm here of all places, with her, touching her, kissing her. God, her kisses could revive any man on the brink of death and I kind of felt that way before being with her like this. It's never been just about sex, no matter how much I belittle her job of it as a Companion, it was never about sex.
It's always been about her, the woman underneath the glitz and shimmer. She needs to know how much I want her and need her and how I can't stop loving her, no matter how hard I try. So with each kiss, each taste, each shiver of my body to hers is to tell her that I love her, lost in the release of her.
"I'll love you if you won't make me stop."
It's as if he sees me for the first time. It's as if his rough skinned hands and yet gentle caresses of my body is the first I've felt in this life time. It's as if this maddening inferno that blazes with each touch and each kiss and each stroke of him inside of me only adds fuel to the fire and it's all I've ever wanted.
I've never felt this alive.
It's as if I am making love for the first time in my life when I am far beyond a virgin. This is what you do to me, Mal.
I will blow your heart to pieces.
Epilogue
In the deep breathings to follow, Mal and Inara are too lost in each other to be bereft. This is something that both have imagined and dearly dreamed of since her decision to use Serenity in her future companion plans.
Even holding her like this, it seems as if a dream. This isn't his reality, nothing ever remotely this amazing happens to someone as lowly as him.
It's as if she senses his berating thoughts and lifts and hand to brush away the sweaty bangs clinging to his forehead. His blush makes her smile broaden before she reaches up to kiss his lips tenderly compared to their mating of earlier.
She had never known she could feel so alive and his dazed and bewildered look shows the same, almost enough to make her laugh. He lets out a chuckle as he kisses her back deeper, a sweep of his tongue dancing over hers makes her sigh and it's a sound he'll never grow tired of.
They stay that way in the early morning hours with the darkness all around them, basking in each other's light.
In unison, they finally say, "I can't sleep until I devour you."
**As it was meant to be**
The End.
A/N: I hope it wasn't too confusing. In part 3, first it is in Mal's point of view and then switches to Inara's. Mal is speaking the first quote and she is speaking the second. The epilogue is a third person view kind of wrapping everything up. Hope this helps and please review :)