Booked, a Game of Thrones + X-Files Crossover fanfic

Part One Redhead1013 strikes again

Dana Scully's apartment

Weekend

"I'm not going to your new comic book movie, Mulder. I'm writing an angry post to one of my favorite authors and sending it to his blog."
"This post, you figure its going to be two hours, nine minutes long? Got any more chocolate ice cream?"
"Mulder, do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for him to finish that book? Butter brickle is in the fridge , in back of the hamburger. I ate the pint of chocolate."

Scully reached for a corn chip. She scowled at the sparse supply of salsa in the dip dish.
"You ate the good chocolate? Bitch."
"Wait for me Mulder, I need salsa."
They left the kitchen and settled back to slurping and munching on the couch. Scully finished the post and signed it REDHEAD1013 She put her tablet aside, munched on another chip.
"Mulder, they lock up people who commit crimes. Somebody needs to lock up this author for abusing his readers and make him finish the book."
"I suppose you could make a case that he's a serial killer."
"No, only you could come up with a case like that." Scully rolled her eyes as Mulder stuck the spoon into the butter brickle half gallon carton for the last bite then into his mouth. She looked at him reluctantly.

"I'm listening, Mulder."
"This guy has been releasing book after book, in a serial fashion. He's stuck on this new one. He's a serial killer. Besides, he's getting free publicity for apparently doing nothing."
"If he killed off my favorite character again-"
"You know nothing, Dana Scully. Wait a minute. Didn't you say on the phone your nemesis was signing at the local Hilton? "
"I stood in line for two hours this morning and still didn't get my books signed, but I got a free pass for tonight, and they said I can cut in line. Mulder, what are you doing?"
"Come on, partner. We're off to investigate an X File. But first we're stopping at seven eleven for more chocolate ice cream."
"Salsa, Mulder. Don't forget salsa."

Part Two Winter is Coming and so is the Redhead

Hotel Suite 2 am

The author groaned and grabbed the phone.
" Yeah, yeah. You're kidding me, right? Federal agents are insisting on seeing me? I'm going to be booked? Now? Wait, was one of them a redhead? She was hot. Annoying as hell on my blog, though. I'm thinking of banning her. Hello? Hello?"
"Federal agents! FBI! Hands in the air."
"I signed your books. I remember you. Easy now guys! What are you two accusing me of?"
"It's not what you've done. It's what you didn't do, Santa Claus. Nice hat."
"Wait, Mulder, he did do it."
"What are you getting at, Scully?"
"Ned was the only decent character, and he lets that other ass Joffrey get away with decapitating him?"
"Look , none of my characters are all good or all evil, Honey."
"Call me Honey one more time, and you'll be doubly resembling the kingslayer and typing with your nose!""
"I'd listen to her, Pops. She's a doctor with a gun and red hair. She shot me once. She makes that brat Joffrey look positively holy."
"So what exactly is it you two want from me?" he gulped.
"More bare breast scenes? " Mulder suggested hopefully.
"Enough of your porn Mulder. I'll handle this. I want that book finished. You get a week."
"A week? I have signings! Talks! Cons to get to! Meetings with my agents! I can't finish it that fast. You two must be crazy."
"It's been a while since you performed a autopsy, Scully, shouldn't let an opportunity to practice slide by like that. Ever think of doing it while Pops here is still alive?"
"I could use the hotel suite's complimentary razor, Mulder. You hold him down for me."
"Okay okay okay! I'll start tonight. Just stop with the scathing blog posts!"
"Remember, we're FBI. We have guns. That book better show up soon or expect a red wedding. You'll be the only guest." Scully warned.
"Come on, Scully, there was a gift shop still open in the lobby and I've always wanted an Iron Man tee shirt. "
"Mulder, did you bring any extra cash? The ice cream and salsa cleaned me out and I stiIl want one of those official hand of the king pins. I tried to grab one but some girl in a khalessi costume beat me to it. They assured me they were putting out more later, and told me to come back."
"You'd look hot nude with baby dragons on your shoulders, Scully. Hot. Sizzling. See what I did there?"
"Shut up Mulder."
"Feel my throbbing heat, oh mighty Khalessi."
"Keep it up and tomorrow you'll wake up a eunich, Mulder."
"You wouldn't say that to your headless guy."
"I liked poor Lord Stark. I'm starting not to like you. And Mulder, you wash your own spoon when we get back."
"Ouch."

Part 3 Scully wants to believe?
Three days later

".. fans everywhere were talking about the unexpected release of the final book in Geo-"
Scully turned off the TV.
"Come on, Mulder, I called the bookstore and told them to reserve my copy."
"Ow!"
"No jokes now Mulder, I want that book."
"Does this look like I'm joking? I'm bleeding. Someting in your bed stuck me."
"Let me see that. It's not bad but I'll clean and bandage it for you if you insist. Mulder! Okay, Mulder, this makes up for all your bad jokes. It's beautiful."
"Scully, I didn't buy that, I got the plastic rip off for you. Remember I promised to get you the official one soon as they came in?"
"Mulder, this Hand of the King pin looks real, there's a bit of leather stuck on the sword end. Where did it come from?"
"Scully, I think Pops set this up."
"How? There wasn't any time to track down my address and the Bureau wouldn't give it to him. He wasn't about to report us and ruin his reputation, we had him running so scared his fans would shame him off his blog."
"Scully, we may have a real X File here!"
"No. It's just a souvenir pin. I'm not having it examined by carbon dating." Scully lied. She pinned it on. Was that a dark hair stuck under the index finger of the hand?
"Fine. Let's go get your book, khalessi, my treat."
"Hold on, after all that coffee last night I gotta pee again."
Scully relieved herself, washed her hands, checked her cross, and stopped breathing.
The swarthy man reflected in her mirror bowed to her, a gesture of gratitude. Scully heard words in her head, still frozen in her disbelief.

I thank you, fair Dana. Now I may rest.

There was nothing pinned to his chest. The image shimmered and was gone.
She waited until she could breathe normally then returned like nothing had happened.
"Mulder, I've decided to see your movie first. I'll get the book on Amazon. Lemme fix your finger."
"Your wish is my command khalessi."
"Shut up Mulder."
When they went out, Scully thought it was my pleasure, Lord Eddard. I want to believe.

The End note from the authors : Our versions of Mulder and Scully were in bed. We want to believe too. Chris Carter might be attending a red wedding after breaking them up in the new episodes Redhead1013 and SpookyFox might have to strike again ;D