AN: One-shot drabble from England's POV. I've been separated from my beloved computer for so long, so I haven't been able to get to work with my other stories. Thing is, though, summer at my place is fast approaching *cue cheering*. As long as I scrape through this final semester, I can write all I want and life will be good again... Or at least, as good as it can get. College is getting nearer and nearer *cries*.
This was inspired by the Vocaloid song "HERO" by Luka Megurine.
"Even though I said I would protect that smile, ideal and reality are opposites."
"Even if I can't save the world, I will protect you, my one and only Hero."
Day 1
I wished nonetheless that those days were ones that I could return to, but now without you, I have nothing left.
... Or at least, that's how it feels...
You left me yesterday, yet why does it feel as though the wound hasn't aged a second? It's tender, though bandaged tightly and hidden from view - somewhere deep within the confines of my heart.
It hurts even to think of you, but with all the memories we made here in this very house, how can I forget for even a split second?
Day 2
I'm angry, furious even.
Why the bloody hell did you have to leave?!
I gave you everything you could ever want and this was how you repaid me? By abandoning me for some... some selfish adolescent desire?!
Get a grip! I am your older brother! I raised you to become who you are today!
What happened to the old You, who would cling to me loyally through thick and thin? Brothers are supposed to stick together, aren't they?
So why aren't you here?! Why aren't you HERE?!
Day 4
I wonder how I am still even breathing. Stagnant...
Awake yet asleep...
Wandering endlessly.
Staying like this, in a dream that never seems to end-no, it's more like a nightmare. I never thought you of all people would turn against me and leave me behind.
After all, who else did I have but you, dammit?!
Day 7
I am floating on murky wisps of cloud. They are me - holding back a torrent of emotions, afraid of self-destruction.
How much longer can I hold out?
How much longer will you keep me waiting? You'll come back, won't you?
I ask my imaginary You in my mind, but I already know the answer.
Day 10
Days pass slowly but quickly. Does that make sense? I laugh bitterly. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore, if I didn't know the reason behind your feelings.
Day 15
It's been two weeks. I've been drinking a lot, you see. Many a time, I found myself in someone else's bed or on a park bench somewhere, or simply staring into space in my room, without a purpose, a meaningless existence.
Do you understand now?
Do you understand how much you meant to me?
Day 21
Have you thought of me since you left? As much as I want to ask you that, I can't even bring myself to face you.
As you said, you are no longer the little child I once knew.
Day 32
I've already cleaned up the kitchen. Your plates are still there, sparkling, clean as ever-but you won't be using them anymore. Yes, I tried throwing them away.
It hurt too much so I stopped.
Not yet, not yet.
The wounds are still open.
Day 53
If you think I have forgotten about you by now, you are sadly mistaken. If I wanted to forget about you, I would have done so long ago. But I can never let go of these nostalgic feelings.
Every morning is still a bit hazy...
Maybe because part of me is still waiting for you to wake me up.
Day 75
Your room has been cleaned out. I packed all your things into boxes stacked in one corner. You can come pick them up whenever you want.
Oh but make sure you let my boss know first.
If I see you now, I can't assure you of what I might do.
I'm still not okay. Not yet, at least.
Day 83
The days have been getting brighter bit by bit. I hear you're doing well on your own. I'm happy but sad at the same time. Just remember me alright? Even the faintest memory would make me happy... Though I'd never say that to you.
Day 99
Throughout all these days, I have realised that I have been healed for a long while now. I wonder when it was when I stopped thinking of all the "you"'s that you left behind here.
Day 100
Today I have smiled for the first time since you left.
I know that you're doing your best. While I know that, I can't just sit around and do nothing about myself.
I can't let you see your big brother this way any longer.
The next time we meet, I will be stronger. I won't pine away for days that won't return.
For after everything you said about relying on me, you never did know that I was the one relying on you.
Day XXX
I hope my thoughts, my feelings will reach you through time, through space.
I want nothing less than to remain connected to you. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I do genuinely care about you, even though you're so bloody annoying nowadays.
No matter what I say, whether I call you a nutter or an idiot, all my words only mean one thing.
From then until now and onwards till forever disappears behind us, I will always thank you for helping me become what I am today.
You sodding prat, are my one and only Hero.
AN: R & R! This was just for self-satisfaction. I'll get back to work soon... Toodles!