The Turning
Ellie stared up into the turquoise blue of the sky. It was dotted with white, fluffy clouds that drifted serenely by and Ellie marvelled at how beautiful it all was. She couldn't understand it. Nothing should be beautiful any more. Her world was falling apart and nothing was allowed to be beautiful. Her eyes brimmed with tears. She didn't know how her body could still be producing tears. It felt like she'd been crying for days already.
Next to her, also lying on her back and staring up into the sky, was Riley. The pair had taken refuge on the roof of some old office building and they'd been up there for hours. Ellie liked being up there. It was good to be away from the crumbling streets, and the building seemed to be miraculously free of Infected. Riley turned over onto her side, facing Ellie. "Do you feel, um... any different?" she asked.
She glanced down at the bite mark between her thumb and finger on her left hand, and Ellie, pulling herself up onto her elbows, followed her friend's eyes. The wound looked awful. The bite seemed to have evolved into mega proportions and had taken over half of Riley's hand. The skin around the bite mark had blistered and become so red and inflamed that it puckered up like layers of crumbly pastry.
Ellie winced at the sight and then looked at her own wound. The place that her arm had been bitten, just between her wrist and elbow, looked much the same as it had the day before, when she'd first kindly received it from the gnashing teeth of an Infected - except that the blood had congealed and a crust was forming over the teeth puncture marks. It didn't look red or swollen like Riley's - and the bite hadn't spread. Ellie bit her lip nervously. What the hell did that mean?
"N - no," Ellie answered finally. The words stumbled out of her mouth. It was such a simple word - 'no.' But in that split second it meant so much. No - I don't feel anything. No - the bite isn't spreading.
"Well, I'm feeling kind of funky," Riley said. She looked Ellie up and down. Ellie noticed her friend's eyes stick at her arm. Riley smiled, sadly. "Who knows, you might end up surviving this one, Ellie. Look at your wound - it's barely changed. In fact, it kind of looks like it's healing."
"Don't say that," Ellie snapped, a lot more harshly than she'd really meant to. Riley's eyes widened at the retort. Ellie sighed and placed her hand over Riley's bitten one. "Hey, remember what you told me. We're gonna go ahead and lose our minds together, right? You and me. That's what you said - and that's what's going to happen. ...I'm not going to leave you alone, Riley. Ever."
Riley smiled and Ellie returned it with a watery one of her own. And then Riley leaned forward and kissed Ellie gently on the lips - the merest graze of skin on skin.
"Sorry," Riley said.
"For what?" Ellie breathed, grinning stupidly.
They just stared at each other for a moment, before Riley turned her eyes back to the sky. "Look!" she said, pointing up towards a cloud. "A kitty!"
Ellie reluctantly pulled her eyes away from Riley and followed the line of her outstretched finger. She settled back against the concrete roof to examine the cloud in question. It did kind off look like a kitty - if you squinted. "Uh, I don't know - it looks like an upside-down panda to me."
"Perhaps it's a panda-kitty!" Riley theorised happily. "The ultimate form of both the kitty and the panda. Stronger than both and equal to none."
Ellie snorted with laughter and Riley joined in. The breeze picked up, sending a rush of warm air across the lounging pair and, just for a second, Ellie was at peace - and she wished that the feeling would stretch on and on into eternity. Riley started to cough and Ellie sat up in time to see the flecks of blood that flew from Riley's mouth. They spattered against the concrete that lay between them. Riley stared down at the blood.
"I think that I'm done with cloud watching now," she said quietly. She got up to her feet and walked to the door that led downstairs. Ellie followed silently.
They wandered down to the floor below and into a room that, must have once been an office, where they'd left their rucksacks. Riley slumped down to the carpeted floor, back resting against the old office desk that dominated the small space. She stretched her legs out in front of her and sighed.
Ellie glimpsed a framed family photo on the desk. It's glass front was coated with dust, but Ellie could just make out the smiling faces of a ginger-haired woman and two children, both boys and both snuggled into the woman's embrace. They seemed so happy. The thought crossed Ellie's mind that they were probably all dead by now and quickly, she turned her face away and sat down next to Riley.
Riley turned to her and Ellie had to stop herself from gasping at how dilated her friend's pupils had become. She glanced at Riley's wound. The angry, red swelling had worsened and, to Ellie's horror, now covered the entire hand and was gradually creeping up her wrist. It was moving too fast.
"Riley..." Ellie uttered. The word shook out of her and Ellie thought that she might cry again.
"Do you remember when we set off all the fire alarms at the school?" Riley asked suddenly.
Ellie gulped, squashing the tears that threatened. "I remember having to stand outside in the pouring rain while the leaders checked every fucking inch of the school for fire."
Riley smirked. "Yeah, but it was worth it to see that bastard, Corporal Dickhead, get drenched right along with us."
Ellie laughed. "Oh man, yeah! I'd almost forgotten that part. ...That was pretty special."
"And that time where we had a massive water gun battle down the entire length of our halls!"
"Yeah," Ellie said, rolling her eyes. "And we got our water guns confiscated...again! And we were put onto toilet duty," she muttered, making a face at the stinky memory.
Riley gave Ellie a playful shove on the shoulder. "Girl, why'd you always remember the bad parts, huh? We had major fun that day! Don't deny it."
Ellie grinned, nodding along with Riley's words. "Yeah, okay, we did. We did. But, I'd just like to say that you were the total instigator both those times...actually, you've been the instigator in all the times!"
"Oh, pur-lease!" Riley laughed. "You know that you're as bad as me!"
"Uh, uh!" argued Ellie playfully. "I am the perfectly innocent one - led astray."
"Led astray, my ass!" Riley shoved her again and Ellie yelled out in mock protest to the rough treatment. They giggled together for a good minute, before both leaning back against the desk and sighing. "Yep," Riley said eventually. "We had a good run." She pulled out the pistol from the top of her jeans and laid it down in front of Ellie.
"You should go," she said quietly.
Ellie shook her head in confusion. "Go... Riley, what?!"
"I can feel it, Ellie," Riley warned, turning to gaze at Ellie with her terrible dilated eyes. "It's coming. I don't want you to be here when -"
Riley's next words were interrupted by another coughing fit. She cupped a hand in front of her mouth and when the spasms subsided, they saw that her palm was speckled with blood.
"Look!" Riley demanded, showing Ellie her palm. "I'm not going to survive this, Ellie...but you," Riley gazed at Ellie's bite mark. "You just might. ...No thought makes me happier than thinking that you could go on from this."
Ellie was staring at her friend in disbelief, fresh tears pooling in her eyes. "And what about what I think, huh?" she snapped. "Do I get any kind of say in this?!"
"No!" Riley snapped right back. Her tone was determined. Non-negotiable. "We've been so lucky, Ellie. We had a night and a day together - that's more than most get. Now come on, please," she implored. "Take the gun and whatever's useful in my pack - and get out of here."
But Ellie didn't move. She just sat, dumbfounded. "I won't leave you," she said, shakily. "I won't go."
Riley closed her eyes and sighed. "Ellie..."
"You promised me!" Ellie cried accusingly. Tears were falling down her face, but she didn't care. "You promised me that we'd lose our minds together. You -"
"I'm sorry," Riley cut in, sadly. "Ellie, if you have even the slightest chance of surviving this then I want you to take it. There's no arguing this."
She grabbed Ellie in a hug and held her tight. Ellie's sobs shook the both of them and warm tears pooled onto Riley's shoulder, dampening the material.
"I'm so sorry," Riley whispered. She pulled away, even as Ellie struggled to stay locked in her embrace, and laid a shaky kiss against Ellie's forehead. "You promise me though, Ellie - you promise me that you won't give up, okay? You fight and you never stop fighting, okay Ellie? Okay?"
Ellie nodded. She couldn't speak. Her throat was clogged and she could only watch helplessly as her world crashed down around her. Riley, satisfied that Ellie understood, leant back against the desk and gave a great, shuddering sigh, as if it would be the last sigh she'd ever give and so should put her all into it - and suddenly, Ellie realised that it might just be. It might be the last time that Riley would ever sigh, or laugh, or feel love. Ellie thought about the stage one Infected, about how they cry out and rive as if they're trapped in unimaginable torture. Did they still feel, she wondered. Was the person they once were battling to be free? Was that why they appeared to be in such continuous torment?
Ellie picked up the gun, slowly and deliberately. She wouldn't let Riley go through all that. She wouldn't leave her to turn and thrash around the old office, grabbing at her head as if there were insects burrowing into her skull.
"Ellie," Riley said suddenly.
"Yeah? Yeah, I'm here, Riley."
"Ellie. ...Ellie."
She kept repeating her name over and over - "Ellie! Ellie!" and soon the sound of it wasn't human any more - wasn't Riley's own tongue - but something animal...something feral. Ellie's name hissed its way across Riley's lips once more in its foreign harsh whisper, before she fell silent, breathing heavily. Ellie stood and backed away from her long time friend, as Riley put her head onto her knees and began to rock and moan. The sound was haunting. Ellie's eyes involuntarily glistened with tears and angrily she swiped at them with the side of her hand. There was no time for that. Not yet.
Ellie watched as Riley continued her tormented rocking and slowly, she raised the gun and aimed it at Riley's head. Her hands shook violently. This was all wrong. This shouldn't be happening.
Ellie swallowed the huge lump in her throat. "R-Riley?" she uttered.
Riley abruptly stopped moving and for a moment there was absolute quiet.
"Riley?"
Riley's head snapped up with a snarl and Ellie gasped. Eyes that once looked upon Ellie with warmth, were now crazed and bloodshot and Riley had drew her lips back, exposing her teeth like some feral dog ready to rip her throat out. Riley cocked her head enquiringly at Ellie, a rumbling growl reverberating from her throat.
"Please," Ellie begged. "Please, Riley. Fight this."
It was a stupid thing to say. The creature in front of Ellie wasn't Riley any more. Once you turned - that was it, you were gone...and Ellie knew it.
In a blur of erratic limbs and howling screeches, Riley suddenly leapt up from the floor and shot towards Ellie.
"I'm sorry," Ellie choked - and with trembling fingers, she fired.
Riley was so close. She was impossible to miss. The bullet slammed into the side of Riley's head, sending out a stream of blood and brain matter that spattered against the wall. Riley dropped instantly and lay still.
Ellie stared at Riley's corpse for several minutes, uncomprehendingly. Nothing made sense. She let out a cracked sob and, without really registering the movement, she sank to the ground, her eyes never leaving Riley.
She felt sick and swallowed down bile. She had killed her. Riley was gone.
Ellie tried to push away the memories and the thoughts of what could have been her and Riley's future together, but they flooded into Ellie unbidden. The thought of Riley's lips on hers barged relentlessly into Ellie's head, and Ellie squeezed her eyes shut against it. Riley's laughter echoed around her mind and her eyes snapped open and glared furiously down at the bite mark on her arm.
"Come on then!" she shouted. "Fucking do it already! Come on! Make me change! Turn me! Fucking come on!" Ellie was breathing heavily and she cried out in rage, "Come on, you fucking bite! I don't wanna be here any more so fucking hurry the fuck up and turn me already!"
Nothing answered Ellie but the silence and she began to sob - quietly at first and then with such force that it wracked her body and made her spasm with the effort of it.
"Please," she choked out. "Please. Change me."
Ellie cried for what felt like forever, while Riley's accusing, dead eyes bore into her from across the room.
"Please," she begged. The fury had left her as quickly as it had come and now she just felt numb.
Before Ellie could think about it, the muzzle of the gun was resting against her temple. She could do it. What would be the problem? She was a dead girl walking anyway - might as well get it over with quicker. The pain in Ellie's heart was unbearable...did she really want to go on? Her finger rested on the trigger.
It would mean oblivion. It would mean not having to feel pain - not having to know that she had just killed her best friend; not having to relive the sight of her friend's precious blood splattering the walls.
But it would also mean giving up on the time she had left.
Riley wouldn't have wanted that for her.
She lowered the gun to the ground and let out a shaky breath.
Being alive may mean pain - but it also meant living. Riley had told her that time was precious and Ellie wouldn't sully her memory by blowing her brains out.
She stood, approached Riley's body, knelt down beside it and gently began stroking her hair. She avoided the spot where the bullet had hit. From the angle that Ellie was knelt, she could almost imagine that Riley was merely sleeping. There had been times in the past where Riley and Ellie had sneakily shared a bed at the military school and, as Riley had talked to her in that moonlit room, Ellie would absent-mindedly stroke her hair, lost completely in the comfort of it all.
Ellie sighed shakily. "I'm so sorry, Riley. I'm so, so sorry."
Ellie knelt there for what felt like forever. Her leg muscles cried out in protest when she did finally stand and she stumbled a little regaining her balance. Ellie looked at Riley one last time, then, quickly, she grabbed up the two rucksacks and headed to the building's exit. She wouldn't let Riley become just another anonymous corpse. She would let someone know what had happened.
It was time to find herself a Firefly.