note 2 da reeders: happy tanksgivin! (I told u id b bak! bu when I got bak... dere was a horible suprise watin 4 me. imma wiserd wuz takin down agin! an I think I no who did it. dats why im ritten dis story. 2 expose da truth. dis is a side story 2 imma wiserd. An evern tho its a sad story it will play an important part 2 da intire book. da pope got up dat mornin. "hapy tanksgivin" he sed "marquez is comin bak 2day!" he wuz excited. he got on his computer an looked. itt wuznt dere. "huh" he sed an lokked 4 it agin. it still wuznt dere. now he wuz startin 2 get scared. den he realized... dat IMMA WISERD WUZ GON! "NOOO!" he sed. "mr pope" sed da church guy "wuts goin on in dere" "LEEV ME ALONE" sed da pope an he thru da chair at da door. "I DONT WANT 2 LIVE" den he fell down cryin "DERE IS NO GOD!" den he had an idea. "get sherlock homes on da phone an tell him to get his ass down 2 hogwats an find da muthafukka who did dis!" "yes sir" sed da church guy an ran down da halaway. "mr homes is da only person who can sovle dis case..." da clok wuz clickin away on da mantel pece. sherlock homes wus sitten smokin a pipe an reedin a book. den... WATSON BUSRTSS IN! "HOMES" he sed "WEVE GOT N URGANT NEWS FROM DA POPE" sherlock loked up rly slowly frum his book an closed it. "wht did u say?" watson handed him da letter. homes took it an red evry word. "hmm" he sed. "watson!" he sed "book me da 1st flite 2 district 7! rite away" "yes sir mr homes" an he ran away 2 do dat. as soon as watson left homes looked at da letter. "dis sure is a mystery" he sed "who wud want 2 delete a grate litature like imma wiserd?" he rolled da letter up an put it in his poket an den went 2 pack. we were now standin in front of hogwats. da dumbledoor came 2 greet dem. "wut r u fine yung men doin here" he sed. "we r here 2 investicate a mystery" sed homes "oh dere r no mysteryes at hogwats" sed da dumbledoor. "oh? well da pope wud disagree" sed homes. den he took out da letter. den da dumbledoor took it an looked at it. "oh deer" he sed. "well i guess ill have 2 let u in" dey saw draco an fithcl wakkin an takkin. "i wunder how vandermort is doin in da past. do u tink he has killed dat nigger yet?" sed draco "urchinvakackzin" sed filtc. which wuz german 4 whos dat ova dere. he wus pointin his fingre at sherlock homes commin thru da door. "i dont no" sed draco lookin curous. "why hello fitlch. an hell mr brown (dats draco)." sed da dumbeldoor. "helo alvin" sed draco "durkadurkaalvin" sed filtch. "id like 2 intorduc u 2 some1 who will b stayin wit us 4 while" sed da dumbledoor. "meet sherlock homes" den dracos eyes got wide. he wuz scared. sherlok homes noticed dis an his eyes got narow. "whatchu afraid of boy?" sed sherlock homes lookin at him thru his magnifyin glass. "were not makin u nervus r we" sed watson "no" sed draco "well ok den" sed homes. but he wuz bein sarcastic. he wuz gonna keep an eye on dem. den homes an watson walked away. "OMG HITLER I TINK DERE ONTO US" sed draco "UNVINHACKISGDSIDRACULA" sed filtch witch wuz german 4 i tink so 2 dracula den dey ran away 2 da evil lair.

"dis is d grate hall" sed da dumbledoor. "rite now da children r eattin luch"

"hmm let me see" sed homes an him an watson entered da grate hall. dere wuz a stand on da entrance and homes wuz gonna put up his hat. but she caught his eye an he put it back on his hed. she was wakkin like she wuz da prettiest girl on earth. but she wasnt. oh no she wasnt. she wuz wearin all blak an fishin gear. "who is dat!" sed homes to a ghostly wite boy takkin 2 a pregnant teenage gurl. he looked at homes. "oh dats precious longbottom" sed ghost harry. "shes pretty big around here" homes watched as she went ova to da slythin tabel. but dere wuz no place to sit so she sat at da end of da table. den she grabed da sides an leend bak an all da food fell into her mouth an a cuple of ppl. homes wuz starin wide eyed. she saw homes starin at she stuck her middle finger up at him. she looked around da tabel 4 more food but dere wuz none. so she got up an went to da huffle puff an ate all da fruitloops. homes turned 2 da dumbledoor. "sir! u have 2 help dat poor gurl! it seems a spell has backfired on her!" "no shes just fat" sed da dumbledoor. homes wuz about 2 talk 2 her but he stopped. he was afraid she wus gonna eat him. den he got tired. "can u show us 2 r rooms... or homes if u will :)" sed homes "ok" sed alvin an dey went.

"WHAT" sed satan. he pushed his food away. he lost his apitight 4 dead babies

"its tru!" sed dracula. "but how did he no" sed satan "weve been so quit up til now" "uhgnahugs" sed hitler wich is german 4 if ur not gona eat dat ded baby can i hav it satan wuznt lisnen. e wuz tinkin. "well i gez our mr homes 2 inconter a lil "acidant"" he sed makin his figas go up an down around da word acident. "u meen send da detheattas after him" sed dracula "yes" den dey all startin laugin evily "wait" sed stan "weres mi baby" but hitler had alreddy ettin it. "i wunda wut dat detective wuz doin here" sed herman "i dont no" sed ghost harry. he wuz missin turtle "i miss turtle" sed herman "me 2" sed ghost hary "its just not da same witout him" herman looked down at her pregant self. "an i mite b carin his baby!" "but wut if its draculas" herman got all wite. "i didnt tink of dat" she wuz lokin all scard. "i its turtles ill name it t 4 turtle junur. if its draculas ill name it dj 4 dracula junur." "want me 2 sitk my hed up u so dat i can c wut it is" sed ghost harry "no i dont want 2 spoikl da suprise" she sed. "HEY U! GIMMEE DAT POPTART" sed s fat voice. dey turned around. it wuz precious. "no i need da food 4 da baby!" sed herman "dats not a baby dats just fat" sed precious "and ur jus rly rly pregnent" sed ghost harry. den preciouses fat hand came down an to da entire plate. "HEY DTAS MINE" sed herman "wut" sed precious chewin. "nmnmnmnmnmnm" everytim she chud her fat rippled. den she stoped. draco had cum in2 da room. she turned arund. "DRACOOOO" she yelled. den draco froze an he ran bak out agin. "DRACO CUM BAK" sed precious. drol wuz al ova her mouth cuz she wuz in luv. den... she got stuck in da door. "thank god" sed draco an he made his escape. "CUM BAK DRACO" sed precious draco wuz runin down da halway. "blast dat fatass crackerbitch" he sed. but den he ran in2 some1 an dey both fell down. "get outa my way u..." sed draco. but he stoped. it wuz old judas. "excuz me yung man" sed ol judas. but as he got up draco disapeared. "hmm" sed old judas "its like he disapeard..."

"sherlock do u rly need 2 do dat" sed watson

"u must always b perpaird" sed sherlock putin his sword unda his pillow "i gess ur rite" sed watson "da dumbledoor sed dere hav ben atacks here recently" sed homes "den its a good ting he lent us his extra galtin gun an sum grandades" sed watson "im gona go brush my teeth" sed homes pikin up his sord "u keep an eye on da door" "ok" sed watson whil homes wnet in2 da bathroom. homes put da tothpaste on da tothbrush an wuz about to brush his teth. den he realized dat dat wuznt his relfectun in da mirior. it wuz... a guy wit a gun pointed at his hed! befor he cud pull da triger homes cut his arm off dem roled behind him an stabed him thro da hart. but den a guy jumped outt da toilet an a guy jumped outta da shower! dey had dere wands an guns out reddy 2 fire. dere wuz yellin cummin from da odder room an sherlock herd da desticnkt sound of a gatling gun. da 2 guys startin firin on him. but homes rasied his sowrd an reflected da bullets. one guys got his guts blown off an da others hed esploded. homes went out of da room wit his magnifyin glass out. "WUT DA HELL IS GOIN ON HERE" watson wuz startin standin ontop of a pile of ded bodies. he wuz shootin da detheatters comin in2 gda room. "homes dere tryin 2 kill us" sed watson thrownin a grenade at da detheaters. "i gessed as much" sed sherlock puttin away his magnifyin glass. "wow ur smart" sed watson. 30 more guys were in the room. an more were tryin 2 come in behinddem. sherlock got in2 a fancy sword pose. he cut da hed off one guy an spun in2 da rest. blood wuz goin everywhere. watson guned down some more deatheter. "theres like 100 more in da halways!" sed watson. he shot one guy an shot da 6 other giys bhind dat guy. "watson ive got an idea" sed homes " shoot at me" "wut!" sed watson "sherlock ur a mad man. A MAD MAN" "DO IT WATSON" sed homes "ok" sed watson and fired on sherlock. watson wuz surprised while he was firin at homes. da bullets were gettin closer an closer. den... homes rose his sord at an angle. da bullets hit it an relfected off his sord. den da bullets reflected off da halway walls an every bullets went thru every detheater. "UR A GINIUS HOMES" sed watson when da detheaters fel down dead. blood wuz everywhere. den... a beam of magik came down da halway. "DERES MORE" sed watson firen at him "WILL THIS NEVER END" sed homes. but then all da detheaters ivaperatidas a huge beam of magik came down da halway. "WATSON LOOK OUT" sed homes. he was almost hit by da beam wen he umped 2 push watson out of da way. da beam cam from da halway an burst thru da wall. "sherlok" sed watson "u shaved my life" "dont mentin it" sed homes. "i hope im not 2 late" sed a voice in da halway. "whose dere" sed homes "just me. judas killchrist" sed old judas. watson lifted up his gun. "no dont shoot me" sed old judas "im ur frend" "wuts goin on here" sed homes "i dunt no" sed old judas "but it looks like dose guys were tryin 2 kill u" ust den... an esplosion happened behind him. it busrt him in2 da room. dere were more deth eaters comin at dem down da halway... BUT WITH MISSLE LANCHERDS! "WILL DIS NEVER END" sed watson dey pointed da rocketlanchers an fired. homes lifted up his sord redy 2 block. old judas sprang up frum da floor an used his wand blade. dey swum at da same time an hit all da missles. dey all ezploded an hit old judas sherlock an watson out da window. "i gess dis is da end" sed sherlock but watson has a grate idea. "sherlock ol judas grab onto me!" sed watson "wut do u have up ur sleef watson" sed old judas "just trust me" sed watson dey both grabed on to him. da dethetaters were outside now an now were firin up at us. watson pointed da gun at ground an started firin at da ground. da power of da gun shot dem upward. "WATSON! U GENIUS" sed homes as dey flew watson aimed so dat dey flew ova da detheaters an shot dem up. "but we still got company" sed old judas. detheaters had a hole in da wall an were firin roclkets at dem. "now dis is a spell i lerned from an old friend" sed old judas an in his hand appeared a big red ball. it grew an he threw it at da detheaters. it hit dem an killed dem an da room esploded. stone an body parts flew out. a arm hit watson in da face an da gatlin gun tipped over. "WHOOOOOOOHHHHHHH" sed homes an old judas cuz dey were now flyin at high speeds through da air. watson tried 2 steer da gatlin gun "LOOK OUT A WALL" sed old judas. watson tried 2 steer an dey went under da arch just in time. da were rippin apart everything. dey were now in da court yard. dey almost hit a wall but watson turnd ust in time. but dey were heded 4 anodder wall. so he turned just in time agin. but he was heddin 4 anodder wall. dere were walls everywhere! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed sherlock. dey hit da wall an started skiddin along it. " dey all sed. den dey hit da corner. now dey were flying towards da ground at high speeds. "WATSON! WATSON! DO SOMETHING" sed homes. watson wus tryin to pull up da gatlin gun wit all his mite. "WAAAAAATSOOOOOOOOON" screeemed homes an old judas. dey were almost at da gorund. den... WATSON PULLED DA GUN STRAIT AGIN. now dey were flyin along da ground. "dat wuz close" sed old judas. but den... dey saw da window. homes wuz going 2 tell watson 2 pull up... but it wuz to late... dey burst into gryffondoor fristyears room. da children woke up. "LOOK OUT" sed sherlock homes an da kids started screemin. "WATSON! TURN AWAY!" sed sherlock. watson puled away but now da bulets were firin on children on da otha side of da room. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed da children as dey ran around da room scard. "WATSON GET US OUTTA HERE" sed homes. dere were fethers in da air becuz da beds were shot up. watson pulled hard on da gatlin gun agin an dey crashed thru da door. dey were now flyin thru da gryfindoor comminroom. "HEY WUTS GOIN ON HERE" sed da picture of abraham lincin in his pink nightcap. but dey were goin 2 fast 2 hear him. da wall wuz bein torn up with bullets an da trail wuz heded towards abrahem lincon. "HEY" sed lincon as he duked as da bulets riped da picter apart. it fell off da wall an on its face. "hey who turned off da lites" sed lincon. but den da noise woke up all da gryfondoors an came out 2 c wt wuz goin on. da bulets had riped up da entire room an watson homes an old judas were spinin around in da air. "DONT LOOK CHILDREN" sed homes "RUN FOR UR LIFES" sed old judas. but da children were runnin around screemin an tryin 2 doge da bullets. "WATSON" screemed homes. but watson wuz alredy on it. he truned da gatlin gun an burst thru da doors. now dey were flyin down da stairs an thru da halway. dey were about 2 hit da wall but watson wuz gettin da hang of it. he turned an now dey were truin corners an flyin down da halway. watson turned da corner an now dey were flyin to da doors 2 da grate hall. "dis is gonna hurt" sed old judas. dey hit da door an wood wuz flyin everywere. it wuz dark an precious wuz wakkin out of da kitchen with all da food thinkin she wuz bein sneeky. den she saw sherlock homes watson an old judas flyin toward her on a gatlin gun. "AHHHHHHH" she screamed. "AHHHHHHH" dey screamed. she tried 2 get out of da way but it wuz 2 late. dey flew in2 her big fat self. dey bounced off an flew out a window. "ah. wut a good book" sed da dumbledoor. he wuz in his room about 2 go 2 sleep. he put da book on da nitstand an turned off da lite. he put his hed on da pillow an wuz about 2 go 2 sleep. den sherlock homes watson an old judas flyin a gatling gun burst thru da window. "AHHHHHHH" dey scremed. "WHATS GOIN ON HERE" sed da dumbledoor. "LOOK OUT" sed homes da dumbledoor ducked just in time an da wall bhind him got tore up. "ALVIN! DO SOMETHING!" screemed old judas but da dumbledoor wuz one step ahed of him. he pulled his gatling gun frum under his bed an shot da other gatling gun down. sherlock homes watson an old judas fell 2 da ground. "THANK GOD" sed sherlock homes. old judas wuz cryin and watson wuz kissing da ground. but den... da gatlin gun came bak 2 life an started shotin agin. "ITS A LIVLY ONE" sed alvin an shot it up agin 2 make sure it wuz ded. "now im gona have 2 get dis one repaired agin..." sed da dumbledoor lookin disapointed "wut happened?" sherlock homes got up "its a long store" he sed.

it wuz all dark. sherlock homes herd a train go by an sum mixicen music.

"were r we" he sed as he opened his eyes. homes watson an old judas got up an loked around. dey were in a vilage. da houses were made outta rocks straw tin cans an card bord dat had mixicen tings ritten on dem. all around dem house elfs were drinkin tecila an eattin buritos. in da streets house elfs had dere hats on da ground an dey were dnacin around dem. "SENIOR SENIOR" sed a house elf ran up 2 old judas an sed somden. "dey sed its da hat festivel" sed old judas sherlock homes reeched in2 his poket 2 take out his magniofyin glas... BUT IT WUZ GONE! sen he realized... HIS HAT WUZ GONE! AN SO WERE HIS SHOES! "WATSON! IVE BEEN ROBBED" sed sherlock "AS HAVE I" sed watson. den sherlock realzised watson an old judas were both missin shoes. "but who took" sed sherlock but den he saw a very large man standin bhind a house lookin at dem. "FOLLOW DAT MAN" sed sherlock an dey all started runin after him. he started runnin thru da street of house elfs pushin thru dem. dere were 2 house elfs holdin up a pane of glass carrin it thru da street but da large man stepped ova it. but since sherlock watson an judas werent so high up dey crash thru it. "mothafucker" sed sherlock pullin a peece of glass outta his skin. "TAKE DIS" sed old judas. he took a peece of glass an thru it like a ninja star. but it missed da big guy an insted nailed a house elf 2 his door. da house elf started shakkin an den esploded. candy flew everiwere. "well never cach up 2 him" sed watson. den homes saw sum horses tied up outside a house. "why dont we "borrow" dem" sed sherlock makin his fingers go up an down around da word borrow. "lets" sed watson. an dey did. dey were ridin thru da crowd. da house elfs were umpin outta way. "WERE STILL 2 FAR AWAY FRUM HIM" sed watson "hold on" sed old judas "i know a short cut". dey turned down an ally way an came out rite in front of him. da giant stopped lokin suprised. "whyd u still r shoes an my hat an magnifyin glass" sed sherlock holdin up his magnifyin glass dat wuznt dere. "i didnt steel noddin" sed da man lookin from side 2 side "oh rely" sed sherlock lookin at him even closer. "we shud take him in 4 questioning" sed watson "yes we shud" sed sherlock turnin 2 "take us 2 ur house" "ok" sed da man an turned 2 leeve but sherlock grabbed him by da shoulder. "wuts ur name" sed sherlock. da man turned around. "hagrid" he sed "hagrid sanders" sherlok watson an old judas were now wakkin down da halway, "look at all dis mess here" sed sherlock. daere were bulet holes all ova da walls an da carpet was tore up. "it seems we disturbed da crime seen last nite" sed watson "but deres gonna b alot of mess 2 cleen up" sed old judas "excuse me senior" sed a voice bhind him. dey turned around. "a house elf" sed old judas "ke" sed da house elf "a house what?" sed homes "one of da ilegel imigrents dat work at hogwarts" sed old judas dere were at least 50 of dem cleenin da halway. da 2 dat were standin in front of dem had a latter an a washcloth. "wut do dey wnat" sed watson "dont worry" sed old judas "i can speek dere langig" "olah senior dobby" he sed "queiquaro senior old judas" sed senior dobby old judas turned 2 da rest of dem. "dey want us 2 get outta da way so dat dey can cleen da rest of da halway" sherlock an watson moved outta da way. "gacias senior" sed pancho who wuz senior dobbys frend. pancho an senior dobby pushed da latter aginst da wall an started cleenin "u can speek dere lagig" sed sherlock takin out his magnifyin glass "mabee we use dis 2 r advantage. wut do dey do alday?" "dey work in da kichen an do work all around hogwats" sed old judas "ALL around hogwatrs?" sed sherlock movin up his maginfyn glass, "yes. dey work ALL aeround hogwats" "EXCELLANT" sed sherlock. den he walked ova 2 pancho an senior dobby. "hello" he sed an old judas translated it in2 spanish. "quieroquoquola" which is spanish 4 wut can i do 4 u. "do u know anyting about how imma wiserd got deleted?" sed homes "ke" sed senior dobby which wuz spanish 4 wut do u meen. "i meen did u c any1 actin suspishus around hogwatrs after da last few days" sed homes "si" sed senior dobby. but as he wuz about 2 speek da gorund started rumblin. "SENIOR DOBBY" sed poncho pullin on senior dobbys poncho. den.. da house elves at da end at da end of da hall started scremin. "GET BAK HERE U" sed a fat familier voice. "ANDENDE" sed a hosue elv pointn at precius bumblin down da halway toward dem. all da house elves started runnin. "wait no" sed sherlock but it wuz 2 late. dey were swept away in da wave of house elves.

sherlock homes an watson an old judas an hagrid were all sittin in hagrids house. dey were all sippin hot coco.

sherlock homes stood ova hagrid who wuz sittin in a chair. he wuz interrigatin him. "now tell me motherfucker" sed homes takin out a notepad "wut were u doin in el dorito" "i wuz celebratin da mixican hat festivel" sed hagrid "oh rly" sed homes gettin rite up in his face "den weres ur hat?" "i fell asleep an it got stolen" sed hagrid lookin rite back at him "den why do u still have ur shoes?" sed homes "bcuz i stapled my shoes 2 my socks" sed hagric "den why didnt dey just steel ur shoes AND ur socks?" sed sherlock "bcuz i glued my socks 2 my feet" sed hagrid. sherlock homes squinted an stared at him for a few seconds. "okay" he sed an wrote it down in his notepad. "since u no so much about house elves" sed watson "were did dey take our hats an shoes an guns an magnifyin glasses?" "dey stash all dere stolen stuff in a warehouse down by da rio burrito" sed hagrid "rio burrito!" sed old judas "i know where dat is" "den ud better get down dere an get our stuff back b4 its 2 late" sed sherlock homes "okay" sed old judas. an he did. "now back 2 busness" sed sherlock turnin back 2 hagrid '"next question. whyd u run frum us?" "bcuz i thot u were dethedders" sed hagrid "wuts a "dethedder" sed homes makin his fingas go up an down around da word "dethedder" "a dethedder is someone who works 4 da army of satan" sed hagrid "i see" sed sherlock takin down notes "do u think dey may have 2 do with imma wiserd gettin taken down?" den hagrids eyes got wide. an he started lookin from side 2 side. " i dont know anything about dat" he sed but sherlock wuz a grate detective so he knew better "ur eyes got big an went from side 2 side in da last sentence" he sed "were not makin u nervos r we?" sed watson gettin up in hagrids face. "i dont know anyting about imma wiserd gettin taken down" sed hagrid nervosly "OH RLY?" sed homes sittin in his lap an lookin at him strate in da face "well" sed hagrid "i wusnt dere when it happened. but... i did find dis at da scene of da crime." an he took out wat he found. "oh my god" sed sherlock lookin at it "dis is all da evidence we need."

it wuz a fine evening. all da students were sittin around in da grate hall eatin supper.

herman waddled over 2 da ravenclaw table 2 where gost harry wus sittin. she wuz even more pregnent now. "oooooooh" she sed sitting down "da babys cummin soon. i can feel it. its kickin up a storm in dere." gost harry turned 2 look at her. he looked like he hadnt gost shaved in a long time. he had a empty bottle of gost whisky in his hand. "harry have u been drinkin agin?" sed herman. "shuddup" sed gost harry an thru da gost bottle at her. but it went thru her hed and gost shattered. den he put his head in his hands an started cryin. "I WISH TURTLE WUS BACK! IT WULD B LIKE OLD TIMES!" but b4 herman cud say anythin da doors 2 da grate hall burst open. lots of policemen came in2 da grate hall with guns an big swat sheelds. in da middle wuz sherlock homes an watson an old judas wakkin up da isle. "MAY HAVE UR ATTENTION PLZ" sed sherlock homes. everyone went quite. "I HAVE SOLVED DA GRATEST MYSTERY OF DIS GENERASHUN" "oooooo" sed everyone. sherlock homes wakked up 2 da podium. "I HAVE DISCOVERED WHO TOOK DOWN IMMA WISERD" he sed everyone gasped. "who wus da basterd who did it!" sed da dumbledoor all pissed. "all in good time" sed sherlock homes "as i wus sayin. it wus someone IT DIS VERY ROOM!" everyone gasped an started wisperin. "it cud be anyone" sed sherlock "it cud be u!" an he pointed 2 a random student. "me?" sed gorgey porgey da hufflepuff "or it cud be u!" sed sherlock pointin 2 anodder random student "or it cud even be me. but it is none of dese ppl. da person who took down imma wiserd... wus..." an he lifted his hand in da air. everyone held dere breth. den... sherlock homes turned around rly fast. "ALVIN DA DUMBLEDOOR!" he yelled pointin his finga rite at him.

"WHAT?" sed da dumbledoor.

magik jonson slammed his hands on da teechers table an stood up. "MR SHERLOCK HOMES" he sed "DAT IS A VERY SRS ACCUSASHUN 4 OUR HUMBLE DUMBLEDOOR (or humbledoor if u will)" "oh rly mr jonson" sed homes "well how do u explain... DIS!" den sherlock reeched in2 his coat an pulled out a gatling gun "dis wuz found at da sceen of da crime" "dat cud be any1s gatling gun" sed da dumbledoor "yes... BUT LOOK AGIN" sed homes an turned da gatling gun over. on it wuz engraved da letters "PROPERTY OF A. the D." magik jonson an da dumbledoor were dumbfounded (or dumblefounded if u will). "AN DATS NOT ALL" sed sherlock homes "WE HAVE A WITNESS" den he reeched in2 his coat an pulled out senior dobby. "OMG" went everybody. herman thru up a lil bit in her mouth. "NOW" sed sherlock homes "is dat da man dat u saw delete imma wiserd?" "si" sed senior dobby. everyone gasped. magik jonson looked down an scooted away from da dumbledoor. "im so disappointed" sed ms mcgonaglagle den da police grabbed him undaneeth each arm. "UR UNDA ARREST 4 A CRIME U DIDNT COMMIT" dey sed slappin da dumbledoor in handcuffs "ur gonna be put away 4 a long long time b4 we send u strait 2 hell 4 ur horrible crime" "I DIDNT DO IT" sed da dumbledoor "MAGIK JONSON! U GOTTA BELIVE ME" but magik jonson just looked away in shame. "take him away" sed sherlock homes "ur goin strait 2 asskabin" sed da police oficer "u know y dey call it asskabin? cuz da dementors r gonna rape u 2 deth." "can i at lest bring my gatling gun" sed da dumbledoor "no" an den dey gdragged him outta da room. "well" sed sherlock homes "it seems dat we need a new dumbledoor. do u guys haf any1 in mind?" "i do" sed a voice in da corner. everyone turned around. dere wuz a kid in a blak coat dat no 1 had eva seen b4. "i think it shud b professor snape" all da teechers started scrachen dere chins "snape... he hasnt been here 4 a while... where is he?" "IM RITE HERE" sed some1 in da rafters. it wuz... SNAPE! he jumped down an landed rite in da dumbledoors chair. "well i gess its decided" sed sherlock homes "everyone... meet ur new dumbledoor! SNAPE!" "snape da dumbledoor..." sed snape "i like da sound of dat." "but wait" sed profeser mcgonagel "i havent seen dat student b4" an she pointed at da boy in da corner. "im new here" he sed "im judas. judas killchrist." "wut" sed old judas "dat seems rather familier..." "well i gess u need 2 be sorted" sed magik jonsen. so judas went up an dey put dat sortin hat on his hed. "plz not grifindoor... plz not grifindoor..." wispad judas 2 da hat. den da hat sed "GRIFINDOO-" "COUGH SLITHERIN COUGH" sed snape at da last second "welp i gess hes in slitherin." "i thot it sed grifindoor" sed magik jonson "nope" sed snape "who all herd slitherin?" "WE DID!" sed all da detheters at da slitherin table. "well i gess ud better better get over dere 2 da slitherin table mr student ive neva seen b4" sed snape. an he winked. "okay mr dumbledoor" sed judas. an he winked.