the pain....its overwhelming me....i can't think straight, can't see anything any more, but the sillhouette of your face as you tell me you don't love me anymore.

how can you say that, after everything that has passed between us!? how can you throw away everything we had, and might have had, as carelessly as you would have thrown away a piece of trash. or is that all i was to you? trash, to be tolerated as long as it wasn't serious, but as soon as i loved you, you discarded me, and everything we shared.

i feel the pain lessened by the sharp pain in my wrists. i looked down, surprised that the knife i'd been cleaning had found its way into my body. its not clean anymore...the blade is stained with my blood. i revel in this new pain, adore it, worship it...

again and again, the knife sings through my flesh, creating new openings for my poisoned blood to spill forth, and cleanse my soul of the poison. the blood is everywhere now, and i thought of you suddenly, how you looked on the night of the dance...all dolled up, and gorgeous, a hundred times more than usual....the happiness with which you dashed my heart into the rocks, informing me of the lady you were taking to the dance with you. my vision is blurring now, and i feel weak. my legs tremble, and i stumble into the bed. vaguely i register the pillow that is supporting me. i hear voices....its him....your new fuck-buddy. he's calling to me. i laugh inside my broken mind, without the strength even to laugh to his face. you are all his now, my love. he wins.

a bright light...he must have opened the door, turned on the lamp. i feel the vibrations of his voice as he screams at me to hold on. hold on? i scoff silently. hold on to what? the last shreds of my dignity? my broken heart? had i the strength i would have shoved the broken shards of my heart at him, left a message to leave this, my last gift to you. the blackness closes in around me, comforting me. i welcome it, and the relief from the pain it brings. his voice is farther away now, and there is another voice with his. i believe it is yours. are you crying for me? now after all you put me through? take your tears and shove them down your heartless throat! no, you're not heartless any more...you still have my heart, after all.....besides. I won't be needing it any more, will i?

i sink lower into the darkness. your image still haunts me, calling me back. i would go, i swear...but i can't.... i'm sorry that i had to hurt you like this...there was no other way....i couldn't live with the agony.........

the agony of watching you every day, and knowing that you didn't love me any more, if you ever had...the silent suffering of seeing your face glow with happiness, and to feel the guilt that its not me that puts that glow there any more. take good care of him........

you watch him, shadow. keep him happy. do what i couldn't.....

But Know This....Always.....

I love you forever, Sonic the Hedgehog.......

~*Knuckles*~