Author's note: This is part 4 of reactions to James and Lily's death. You don't have to read them all in succession to understand what's going on.
Disclaimer: I don't own nuffin' muffin.
Luck
Part four: Petunia
She's dead. My little sister is dead. So is her husband, my brother-in-law. It's almost hard to believe. I don't know how I feel about this.
Lily and James are gone and have left my family and I in charge of their son. I can't come to grips with this. He has her eyes. He has his father's hair. He looks so much like them. This is so strange.
It was no secret that Lily and I didn't get along. Mum and dad knew. How could they not? But no matter what they continuously tried to bring us back together. Lily was willing, I was not.
I was so jealous of her and her "gift" (as mum called it). After she found out about it, our parents paid so much attention to her. Why would they want to do that? She was such a little freak.
When she left for that school, I will admit I missed her. The thing was, was that I missed the Lily I used to love. The "normal" Lily. The Lily that didn't do m—magic. I hated this New Lily, the Lily that did do magic and went to a strange school. But as the years went by, I tried to forget about her. Whenever she would come home for holiday, I'd try to avoid her as much as possible.
When I married Vernon, mum made me make Lily my Maid of Honor. It seemed mum and dad didn't care that she was the ultimate thorn in my side. That she hurt me more than I ever hurt her.
It's true, Lily had hurt me. Maybe no directly, but she still hurt me nonetheless. How, you may ask? She left me. She didn't want to be a part of this family anymore. She wasn't normal anymore. She says she never forgot about me, but whenever she came home she was so different. She changed so much and so quickly. I didn't even know her anymore. It hurt and everyone was so interested in her.
I felt forgotten. I felt like I was the freak, when it was really her. How could everyone not see this? I was just like everyone else, why didn't they love me?
When Lily married James, it was completely different from my wedding. It was so radical and so Lily and James. I felt like my wedding was nothing compared to Princess Lily Evans-Potter. James is nothing compared to Vernon and yet he had the whole family wrapped around his fingers. He also had the audacity to treat Vernon and I like weren't there. I couldn't stand him.
Their death is nothing, but expected. Mum and dad died a year before Dudley and Harry were born. I blame Lily. If she were normal and lived a normal life, mum and dad would still be alive. Lily and James lived their lives so recklessly and in the end they got what was coming.
I didn't go to Lily and James' funeral, but I did visit their grave site. Alone. I couldn't face all of their friends and see them crying over them while I look on and feel nothing. This way is better. Me, doing this on my own time.
If I could talk to Lily one last thing, it'd be that I regret my resentment I hold towards her and her family. I loved, love, Lily and I always will. She was my little sister even if I couldn't stand her drastic change and her ruddy good luck.
It seemed her luck had finally run out. Now, I have a living, breathing reminder of my resentment and regret living in my house. He's physical proof that I can never make up with my sister.
A/N: This was really strange to write. Well, tell me what you think!