The Supernatural finale has left me in a depressed haze so I had to get this short one shot out of my head.

As usual i don't own anything if I did Sam and Dean would be kept in bubble wrap and never be aloud to leave the bunker

Sam stared at the remains of the summoning spell Dean had performed earlier that day. Tears prickled at the corner of his eyes. If only he had done more. If he hadn't been so pig headed he would have been with Dean when he met Cain and could have stopped him from getting that blasted mark in the first place! It was all his fault and now he had to fix it no matter what it cost.

He gave a humorless chuckle as he remembered Dean's words "If the situation was reversed, and I was dying, you'd do the same thing." He had been so angry and full of hurt he had lashed out and lied to Dean saying he wouldn't. Now look where he was. He struck the match and dropped it in

For a few tense moments nothing happened. Sam looked around and just when he was about to give it up as a lot cause, a voice spoke from behind him.

"Moose" Crowley greeted with his usual air of charm.

Sam wasn't in the mood for pleasantries. "Bring him back".

"Afraid I can't do that" Crowly replied

"Can't or wont?" Sam asked anger starting to seep through his carefully controlled exterior

"I said can't didn't I?" Crowly answered. "You can't bring someone back that's not dead."

The scathing retort that was on the tip of Sam's mouth died on the tip of his tongue.

"He's not Dead? How is that possible? I saw it happen."

"I think that's a question for the dearly resurrected don't you?"

Years of dealing with Crowley had caused Sam to be mistrustful of the demon , and despite the fact his words had been what Sam had been dying to here since he saw the blade pierce his brothers skin, he couldn't help but feel a knot forming in his stomach.

"Go see for yourself" Crowley gestured towards the door Sam gave a suspicious look towards the King of Hell but ran back up to the room where he had left Dean.

He paused outside the door afraid at what he might find. He pushed it open slowly and for the first time in months Sam felt like he could finally breath again. Dean was sitting on the bed, his back to him so he couldn't see the extent of his injuries, but very much alive.

"Dean" He asked cautiously

"Go away" Dean said not moving an inch.

The hollow tone in his voice scared Sam but he kept on pressing. "Dean, how are you alive?"

"Sammy please…" Dean said again.

"No… I just saw you die! Now tell me whats going…"

Dean turned around with anger in his voice "I SAID GET OUT"

Even from his spot in the doorway Sam could deans eyes flash that familiar deep, soul crushing black.

"No… no its not possible" Sam backed away in horror. When his back touched the wall he slumped down to the floor. Several emotions were warring within him trying to take control despair, anger and as much as he hated it… revulsion. He wanted to run from the room and pretend his brother had died human

As soon as that thought entered his mind Sam was ashamed of himself. Hadn't he gone off the dark end a few times? Hell his eyes had been that same black when he, to quote Chuck Sherly, "Went full Vader" on Lilith. And now when his brother needed him most he wanted to bail? No.

"Dean we'll get through this.

"How? Some nice relaxing R&R?"

"We'll find a cure"

"I'm a demon Sam. I don't have a cold!" Dean snapped

Sam recoiled as that word reverberated through the room

Demon.

It was the first time either of them had heard it said out loud.

"We always find a way. We can fix this" Sam said

Dean scoffed and for the first time Sam saw in Deans eyes something that chilled him to the bones. Nothingness. His brother was broken and Sam didn't know if he could put him back together again this time.