They don't see what they're doing to me.
I come home crying every night, because they prey on my weaknesses, turning them into jokes and games until I'm the only one laughing because it hides my pain. They don't see that my blue eyes are haunted by every pain and empty feeling that echoes through my soul.
When she ignores me so many times ("I'm trying to talk to Sasuke, not you Naruto.") that I can't hide the tears, I pass it off as a cold. Shikamaru notices the most. Of course he does. He's a genius, and he knows even better than I do that I hate being a monster. There is only so many times I can be the dobe, the dead last, the loser, the bakemono…..Even I can break. I, with my happy mask and my love for anyone….I am not mad; I just want them to stop.
Maybe if I become Hokage, this will stop. But being so close to Tsunade has shown me that it is not all that it's cracked up to be. The only relief I can really find is that I'd never have to put up with myself. The village idiot is running things, so this should be a laugh! We can always replace him when he screws up!
I don't know how Gaara does it. He's lucky, you know. They may be scared of him, but they never ignore him. But he and I are different. I don't want to be the monster; I wasn't raised as a demon. I never had a friend, but I was never a demon. Not even on the days where I came home so beat up that it took even the Kyuubi no Kitsune a few days to heal me. Gaara was pushed to close to the edge, and he fell. I'm starting to pull him back up, but he may be too heavy for me.
I won't give up. I won't! But that doesn't mean things will get better. Maybe, if I'm lucky, things will change.
The only line from a book that I've ever remembered is "Monsters don't get their happy endings." I heard it in Shrek too, but with ogres.
I hope someone helps me up before then.