Author's note: This is part 2 of reactions to James & Lily's death. You don't have to read them in order to understand them.
Disclaimer: I don't own HP in any way shape or form.
Cowardice
Part two: Peter
The Dark Lord has fallen. He was killed by a mere baby. My plan has backfired. And one of my best friends, ex-best friend, is dead. And it's my entire fault.
I was the Secret Keeper. I told the Dark Lord where they lived. I had to do it. I had to. If I didn't tell him, he would have tortured me, or killed me.
My best friend is dead. And so is Lily. It never had to be this way. If they only gave up the boy, they wouldn't be dead. Everything would be okay.
Just in case the Dark Lord isn't dead, even if I saw no trace of him, I must go into hiding. He'd kill me because of how his plan backfired. It wasn't my fault. The boy having hidden power was unforeseen.
No one will ever find me if I stay in my Animagus form. No one could possibly detect me. No one would be able to look for me. It's fool-proof.
I regret telling the Dark Lord where they lived. I couldn't stomach watching James' face morph into confusion to knowing to fear mixed with determination. I also couldn't stomach watching his die right in front of me. Just seeing his lifeless body fall right in front of me almost drove me over the edge. I didn't show it because if I did, the Dark Lord would easily have killed me for showing weakness and empathy.
When James befriended me, it was the best feeling ever. He then introduced me to Sirius and Remus and I finally felt like I belonged. It was incredible, but deep down I knew I didn't really belong with them. I knew that they were all better than me. So, I secretly sought out somewhere I felt I belonged completely. And it happened to with the Death Eaters.
I didn't see Lily die, but I heard her scream from upstairs. I always liked Lily. She was always nice to me. She never said anything bad to me, like most girls at Hogwarts. And I think that's what drew her to me. And now she's dead.
The Dark Lord gave her a chance to live, but she foolishly threw it away for the boy. If she lived, maybe I could have taken care of her or something. My best friend and the nicest woman I ever met are dead. And I don't know how to feel about it.
I will live my life out as a rat. It's quite ironic. I am literally a rat. No matter what form I'm in. I will live my life out with regret.
A/N: Peter was the hardest to write. Getting inside of his head is harder than I thought. I hope I pulled it off well. Well, tell me what you think! Thanks!