Disclaimer: All original characters are mine. Transformers belongs to Hasbro, etc.
This first chapter is pretty tame; may have some coarse language (but I don't remember). Later chapters may be worse.
Lacey Andrews flopped down on her bed with a satisfied sigh. She'd been preparing for this concert for months, and that evening, everything had come together. She'd sung her heart out, and the guitarists hadn't missed a single note. She'd tell her internet friends all about it in the morning, but for now, she'd get some much-needed rest.
David Sumter kicked off his boots and sat down on the ragged, gray couch. Blood trickled down his right arm as he fumbled with the bandages.
"I'm getting too old for this," he muttered, trying to keep pressure on the shallow cuts where the kid's knife had grazed his shoulder. As he tightened the bandage, something on the coffee table caught his eye—the rent bill.
"See you tomorrow!"
Richard Coulson nodded to his coworker and slammed the door to his blue Mercedes Benz. He made a pretense of adjusting his rear view mirror until everyone had left the parking lot…and drove around the side of his office building, parking next to a 1998 Dodge Neon. After double checking to make sure no one was around, he slipped out of his Mercedes and into the Neon.
Pulling off his tie and jacket, he reached down in front of the passenger seat. His clothing and makeup was right where he'd left it. It was almost 7:00—time for Richard Coulson to take a rest, and Princess Candy to make her appearance at the Wednesday night drag show over at the Manhole.
Thump.
Richard froze, his pants halfway off. He glanced out the windows, but nobody was there. It was probably just the garbage truck across the street…wait, didn't that come on Thursdays?
The door clicked loudly as Chris McCammon locked it behind her. As she slid down to the floor, she could hear everything—every car rushing past her apartment, every stomp and clatter from her neighbors upstairs—she closed her eyes, trying to relieve the pounding in her head.
When the ache began to subside, Chris stood and staggered over to her computer. Distractions generally helped, she remembered as she logged into her Netflix account, and what better distraction was there than one of her favorite shows? Sure, sometimes what few friends she had got annoyed by her constant ramblings about it, but it was hard not to talk about Transformers.
Chris clicked on her favorite episode of Transformers: Prime—Season 1, Episode 16, Operation: Breakdown (which was especially awesome because it was about Breakdown).
Much to her frustration, it couldn't seem to load. That thumping was getting louder, too—did the people upstairs have to be so loud? With a final CRRRUNCH the power flickered off, and a light appeared to emanate from the ceiling.
"Greetings, human. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron, a world with which you appear to be familiar. We need your help."
"I…yeah…what?" Lacey gazed up at—it couldn't be—
For one thing, there was no way that Optimus Prime and Megatron and Starscream would be standing together without fighting, as though they were allies! More importantly, this was impossible…a dream? No, no, if it were a dream this would seem normal. Lacey stared cautiously at Optimus's outstretched hand.
"Please do not be alarmed. We have traveled to your world in pursuit of an unknown danger. Humans such as you may be the key to our destroying this threat before it claims both our worlds."
"I'm sorry, what?" David stared up at the most recent incarnation of his childhood idol. Evidently, he'd lost more blood than he'd thought.
"Optimus, the breach is closing!" David could hear Ratchet's warning from somewhere beyond the strange portal.
"I understand that this must be…concerning for you. We are asking you to risk your life for the fate of your universe and our own. If you do not wish to undertake this dangerous mission, we will leave you, and this will seem like nothing more than a dream. But you must make your decision quickly."
Richard sat awkwardly in the seat, keenly aware that he was being stared at by half the transformers…while in his underwear. Either he'd fallen into some bizarre porno or this was a nightmare, and any minute now his father was going to walk in, discover his secret, and disown him.
But he'd play along for now. What other choice was there? After all, if the world really was in danger, wasn't it his duty to do everything he could to help save it?
"I…I'll come with you."
Optimus smiled, held out his hand, and allowed Richard to climb onto it. He glanced down towards his clothes one last time, and the portal shut behind him.
Chris found herself in an enormous metal room with about thirty other humans—and them. Optimus, Megatron, Starscream, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Soundwave…it was one thing to see them on television, but in person, they were breathtaking. They really were huge, intimidating, wondrous. Glancing around the room, Chris realized she wasn't the only one staring.
After bringing in the last human, Optimus turned to face the group. "You have been gathered here because our worlds face a powerful danger. We know little about this threat at the moment, and we need all the help we can get. I am certain that each of you can help in your own way."
Megatron and Starscream exchanged glances, and Chris heard—and felt—Cybertronian footsteps from elsewhere in the strange complex. Ratchet was pushing buttons on some unidentifiable machine and looked up, nodding to Optimus.
"Ratchet, Knockout, and Shockwave have designed an experimental procedure that can transfer natives of your world into Cybertronian bodies. The process is irreversible, but those of you who volunteer will be invaluable to our efforts, allowing us to use Cybertronian technology and weaponry on your planet until we can bring in more experienced warriors. Each of you has one hour to make your—"
"I'll do it." A middle-aged man with a bloody bandage wrapped around his right shoulder stepped forward.
Lacey gawked at the man who'd so willingly offered himself. Sure, the world was in danger, and sure, Cybertronian bodies were superior in a lot of ways, but to give up a human body, a human life, forever? Optimus seemed to share her surprise.
"Are you sure you do not need more time to think this through?" Optimus asked.
The man shook his head. "I want to do something good for once in my life. I'll back out if I wait too long."
"Very well. Are there any other volunteers?"
"I…I volunteer." A sheepish-looking man wearing nothing but his briefs raised a hand, keeping the other down in what looked like a sad attempt to hide his bulge.
David averted his eyes as the man in his underwear stepped forward. The fate of the world did not need to rest in the hand of an old drug dealer and this scrawny gentleman who evidently couldn't be bothered to put on pants. Then again, maybe the Cybertronians had found him at a bad time.
The transformers looked at the group expectantly, but nobody spoke up. A few people shifted uncomfortably under Prime's gaze. Finally, a tomboyish looking woman near the back of the group spoke up.
"I just have…a question." She winced and rubbed her head before continuing. "If we did this, got Cybertronian bodies, would we be able to…masturbate?"
"I'm…not sure I understand the question."
The woman shrugged. "You know…interfacing, with yourself? Can you guys do that?"
Richard could feel the tension rise in the room. Optimus froze for a second, and Megatron and Starscream averted their gaze. Ratchet became engrossed in the machine he'd been working with. After a moment's hesitation, Optimus spoke.
"Human and Cybertronian physiology are very…different from one another. You will be losing quite a bit if you choose to make this transition, but there is also much to gain. Only time will tell if you find your new body…satisfactory."
The man next to Richard grinned and shook his head. "Some people know how to ask the important questions, don't they?" Richard laughed, but as they made eye contact the man averted his gaze again, and Richard was aware of the breeze on his bare legs.
It wasn't much of an answer, Chris thought, but it was probably the best she'd get out of the Autobot leader for now. Besides, there were more important things at stake than her alone time.
The procedure sounded great on paper. Who wouldn't want to trade in a flimsy human body to join the characters she'd loved and obsessed over for years? But there was so much to give up—not just a familiar human body, but a life, friends, and family.
But without a world, there'd be no life, friends, and family. It was better to fight with everything she had and die than to passively wait for the world to end…right? There was no longer any doubt in Chris's mind that this was real—the question was, could she do it? She knew it was the right thing. Sure, she could probably help as a normal human…but she could do so much more as a Cybertronian, and there were only two volunteers.
That bandaged man was right: waiting too long would make it easy to back out. Chris stepped forward—
"I'll do it," Lacey blurted out. She could hardly believe what she was saying, but there she was, volunteering to give up her old body for a cause she knew nothing about.
"I…me, too." The girl who'd asked about masturbation earlier was standing beside the two men. Lacey took a deep breath and joined them. And again, there was silence.
"Those of you who have not yet made your decision have half an hour before we can no longer perform the procedure. Those of you who wish to remain human may join Agent Fowler." He gestured towards an alcove with human-sized furnishings.
Lacey glanced back at the thirty-something humans who remained—they were all headed for the alcove! Part of her wanted to ask if they were sure they wanted to stay human forever, but the more she thought of it, the more something told her maybe she was the one who should change her mind. But it was too late now; she had to go through with this.
Optimus gazed down at the four volunteers. "Very well. Follow Ratchet to the lab and you can get started on the procedure."
Running to keep up with Ratchet was difficult for David with his bad knee, but they got to the lab fairly quickly. Optimus, Soundwave, and Megatron followed, waiting near the massive doorway.
Inside the lab, there were two tables—one small, fit for a human, and one large enough for Megatron to lie on it. June Darby stood next to the smaller table, while Knockout and Shockwave stood beside the larger table, handling some odd tubes that were connected to another enormous machine. The whole contraption was disconcerting, but David supposed it was safe enough.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Knockout grinned down at the volunteers. "Any new Decepticons?"
Shockwave ignored Knockout and turned to Ratchet, barely glancing at the humans. "Which recruit will we transition first?"
Ratchet looked down at the humans, his optics stopping to rest on David. "I suppose that's up to them. What about you? You volunteered first; it seems only fitting that you'd be the first to become one of us."
The reality was starting to sink in. Maybe he shouldn't have volunteered—no, he had to do this. If he backed out, the others might back out too. Besides, he had to do something good with his life.
"Where do you want me?"
June motioned towards the smaller lab table. "Lie down here, and hold still while I hook you up…"
While June strapped David down and fiddled with the tubing, Ratchet headed towards the computer and entered in some codes. "This machine will take information from your genetic code and create a Cybertronian body. Your strengths in this new body should be based on the strengths you already have, but I am not certain how far this will go. Once your consciousness is transferred to your new body, the computer will generate information based on the life you would have led had you been native to Cybertron—your name, your inherent strengths, and whether you would have been an Autobot…" Ratchet paused and locked eyes with Megatron. "…or a Decepticon."
"But you don't have to stay with the faction the computer chooses for you. You can be an Autobot no matter what the computer says." Smokescreen's voice came from—somewhere. David couldn't turn his head to look with all the wires June had stuck to him.
"Are you ready?" Ratchet asked.
No, I'm not ready, and I never will be! His body—his human body! Would that cut on his arm never heal? What about all the scars he'd gotten over the years? His bad knee, his double jointed fingers? Could he at least take one last bathroom break before he lost his human life forever?
"Ready." David took a deep breath—
He was suffocating! There was no air—nothing—David gasped for breath, but nothing was coming out—he tried to sit up, but something hard held him down. Metal hands were poking and prodding at him—metal hands.
"C-can't…breathe…" He flailed and tried to sit up again, but he couldn't…
"Illogical. Cybertronians have no need for oxygen."
It was done. It had worked! The lack of breathing would be hard to get used to—after all, he'd been doing it nonstop for forty years. But he was alive, and he was…
"Let's see here…Streetracer. You're an Autobot."