With the apostates and rogue Templars chased out of the lands around the Crossroads and the rifts closed, the small Inquisition camp on the river near the farmlands was becoming her favorite place to rest – their work in the area was making a real difference and being able to see people living their lives, tending their fields and animals, gave her hope in a way that little else had recently.
Not to mention that the nearby river was a perfect place to wash off after a long day of sweating in the hills while hunting down bandits and mercenaries.
She relaxed in the sun, laying out on one of the many rocks that overlooked the river, feeling clean and refreshed. She could hear grumbling from the camp, Iron Bull and Solas picking at each other again, but this time arguing over whose turn it was to drag her out of the river and remind her they needed to return to Haven. She didn't move, content and thoughtful – so much had happened lately, that to just sit still in the sun was a relief she wasn't ready to surrender.
Quiet footsteps approached, crunching gravel underfoot – Solas had lost the argument this time. He was never sure how to approach her, they had exchanged heated words about the Dalish and yet she was also curious, asking questions about spirits, the Fade, his own life. She knew she made him uncomfortable.
'Solas.' She nodded at him as he approached, pushing damp hair out of her face. 'Time to go?'
'Nearly.' He stooped next to her and sat down on the warm rock. 'It's pleasant here, I can see why you linger.'
'Yes, it's peaceful. Not much else is these days. Gives me a chance to clear my mind and think.' She leaned forward and started to pull her socks and boots back on.
'What do you think about?' She often stared out into the wilds, her face blank but her eyes running, as if seeing things no one else did. He know she did not see spirits and that she was no mage, so he could only assume it was thoughts that sent her eyes skittering.
'Huh,' she snorted, giving her boot a tug, 'Don't laugh.'
'I wouldn't.'
She looked up at him, as if daring him to mock her, 'Well, I've been thinking a lot about the gods and religion.'
His brow furrowed, 'Curious, why?'
She sighed, 'Well, I know or at least, I knew who I was a few weeks ago – I was Dalish woman sent to spy on a shemlen Conclave and to carry word back to my people of decisions and actions taken as a result. And somehow, in the mess of that, I've become the Herald of Andraste, a figure of hope for a human religion I don't even believe in. And what have I done? I've gone along with it, played the part…..' She paused, pulling buckles tight on her boot, 'And I don't know why.' She pulled on her other boot. 'And it makes me wonder….' She looked up at him, her brow furrowed, green eyes grave. 'All those 'gods'. What are they? I know what people say about me, most of it isn't true, but they see what they want to see through the eyes of faith. They choose to believe that I am the Herald of Andraste, whatever that means, that I have the blessing of the Maker, that I rose from the dead, that I will seal the Breach in the sky and bring about new order to Thedas – me! A Dalish elf! I know the rumors that spin in Haven.' Her voice rose slightly, cracking and her hands shook on her boots. 'Few of them are true. And if they can be so wrong about me, about a person who they look at and touch and speak with every day, who still lives and breathes and walks among them…..How much have we gotten wrong in our own stories about gods and people who walked so long ago that all we have are stories and half-truths whispered from Keeper to Keeper over the centuries. Is any of it true?' She bit her lip and looked away, staring out over the flowing water.
He said nothing, what could he say after all. After a long moment, he held out his hand to her and she took it, surprised as he pulled her to her feet. He squeezed her hand gently and surprised, she met his eyes and saw sorrow and wonder in them, but he said nothing.
She sighed, 'Never mind. Just forget it. We need to get moving.'
'No.' He said firmly. 'I won't forget it.' He held her hand a moment longer, then nodded and released her, turning away and walking back to camp.