Girl Talk
The Girls of the Scooby gang were sitting around the fireplace of Willow's apartment, each with a half empty bottle of alcohol beside them, giggling hysterically.
"Then, he just rolls over, sighs and says 'was it good for you?' And I'm like 'Was what good for me? We didn't do hardly anything! I mean, damn we're done already? When did we start?" Cordy took another gulp from her wine bottle while the others burst into fits of laughter, just picturing Angel saying that.
"When Spike and I had just moved into this apartment I was doing a cleansing spell, right? So, I cast a white candle circle and I've got a shit load of incense and the athame and stuff like that. I'm about half way through the ritual- to the part where I'm using the athame- and in comes Peroxide Boy. He just comes right into the circle, takes the athame and the chalice that were sitting in front of me, throws them out onto the couch, climbs on me and says 'let's do it.'"
"Oh my God, Willow! What did you do?" Buffy asked. Willow rolled her eyes.
"I screamed the closing as fast as I could then just got up and left."
"What'd Spike do?"
"Put on a porno and finished the job himself."
Again, fits of uncontrollable laughter.
"Why do guys even need us? I mean, all they need is a good copy of "Night of the Living Dildos," some lotion and Rosy Palm and Her Five Sisters and they're all set!" Buffy commented.
""Night of the Living Dildos?" Are you serious? I've never heard of that one!" Anya commented.
"Really? Xander has it." Buffy answered. Anya shrugged.
"He has three huge boxes full of them. All locked. Like I don't what's in them! Please. I'm an ex-demon. I can pick some puny lock!"
"Well, Spike likes "Halloween HLO." Willow commented.
"HLO?"
"Hot Lesbian Orgasms."
"OH! EWW!"
"What is it with men and their fascination for lesbians? I mean what's so great about them?" Cordy asked.
"No offense, Will."
"None taken. And I don't know what is. I mean, Xander had the weird dream in the ice cream truck about Tara and me. And I know Spike has a whole shit load of jokes about the subject but he tends to keep them to himself. "
"I think it has something to do with breasts." Anya chimed in. Willow snorted.
"Everything has to do with breasts. But you're right. Something about four naked breasts all pressed together... and all the panting and moaning and..."
"Okay, Will. I think I'm gonna throw up my brandy now."
"Well, you've drunken about half the bottle, there Slayer. I'm surprised you haven't."
"Maybe Slayers have a higher drinking tolerance." Cordy wondered aloud.
"Nah, I saw her dump out like 3/4 of the bottle and fill it up with water." Anya answered before tipping back her own Vodka bottle.
"BUFFY! That was a waste of some perfectly good brandy! How could you? I would have drunk it!" Willow yelled.
"Please, Will. You're loose enough with out the help of whiskey and brandy!" Buffy shot back.
"I'm loose? Buffy- how many men have you slept with? Or, more importantly, how many have come back for seconds?"
"I'm not sleeping with a vampire!"
"Hey!" Cordy protested.
"At least I am sleeping with someone! When was your last hop in to the sack?"
"What's it been for you? 4 hours since you've last gone at it with Spike? You feeling deprived yet there Witchy-poo?"
"At least when I sleep with them I see them in the morning too!"
"Yeah, because you're still going at it!"
"Damn straight!"
"GIRLS!" Anya yelled, quieting the Slayer and her best friend, the girls stopped, Buffy turning her gaze away to take another swig of her, brandy flavored water. Anya sat quiet for a moment, then turned on Willow.
"It lasts all night?"
"On and off. Vampire stamina."
"Hell yeah," Cordy breathed. Anya looked impressed.
"I gotta find myself a vampire! Xander is one time then sleep. If it's a special night one and a half."
"Damn. I'm sorry." Buffy chimed, the argument forgotten. Anya shrugged.
"Anyone ready for a movie?"
"Hell ya!"
The Girls of the Scooby gang were sitting around the fireplace of Willow's apartment, each with a half empty bottle of alcohol beside them, giggling hysterically.
"Then, he just rolls over, sighs and says 'was it good for you?' And I'm like 'Was what good for me? We didn't do hardly anything! I mean, damn we're done already? When did we start?" Cordy took another gulp from her wine bottle while the others burst into fits of laughter, just picturing Angel saying that.
"When Spike and I had just moved into this apartment I was doing a cleansing spell, right? So, I cast a white candle circle and I've got a shit load of incense and the athame and stuff like that. I'm about half way through the ritual- to the part where I'm using the athame- and in comes Peroxide Boy. He just comes right into the circle, takes the athame and the chalice that were sitting in front of me, throws them out onto the couch, climbs on me and says 'let's do it.'"
"Oh my God, Willow! What did you do?" Buffy asked. Willow rolled her eyes.
"I screamed the closing as fast as I could then just got up and left."
"What'd Spike do?"
"Put on a porno and finished the job himself."
Again, fits of uncontrollable laughter.
"Why do guys even need us? I mean, all they need is a good copy of "Night of the Living Dildos," some lotion and Rosy Palm and Her Five Sisters and they're all set!" Buffy commented.
""Night of the Living Dildos?" Are you serious? I've never heard of that one!" Anya commented.
"Really? Xander has it." Buffy answered. Anya shrugged.
"He has three huge boxes full of them. All locked. Like I don't what's in them! Please. I'm an ex-demon. I can pick some puny lock!"
"Well, Spike likes "Halloween HLO." Willow commented.
"HLO?"
"Hot Lesbian Orgasms."
"OH! EWW!"
"What is it with men and their fascination for lesbians? I mean what's so great about them?" Cordy asked.
"No offense, Will."
"None taken. And I don't know what is. I mean, Xander had the weird dream in the ice cream truck about Tara and me. And I know Spike has a whole shit load of jokes about the subject but he tends to keep them to himself. "
"I think it has something to do with breasts." Anya chimed in. Willow snorted.
"Everything has to do with breasts. But you're right. Something about four naked breasts all pressed together... and all the panting and moaning and..."
"Okay, Will. I think I'm gonna throw up my brandy now."
"Well, you've drunken about half the bottle, there Slayer. I'm surprised you haven't."
"Maybe Slayers have a higher drinking tolerance." Cordy wondered aloud.
"Nah, I saw her dump out like 3/4 of the bottle and fill it up with water." Anya answered before tipping back her own Vodka bottle.
"BUFFY! That was a waste of some perfectly good brandy! How could you? I would have drunk it!" Willow yelled.
"Please, Will. You're loose enough with out the help of whiskey and brandy!" Buffy shot back.
"I'm loose? Buffy- how many men have you slept with? Or, more importantly, how many have come back for seconds?"
"I'm not sleeping with a vampire!"
"Hey!" Cordy protested.
"At least I am sleeping with someone! When was your last hop in to the sack?"
"What's it been for you? 4 hours since you've last gone at it with Spike? You feeling deprived yet there Witchy-poo?"
"At least when I sleep with them I see them in the morning too!"
"Yeah, because you're still going at it!"
"Damn straight!"
"GIRLS!" Anya yelled, quieting the Slayer and her best friend, the girls stopped, Buffy turning her gaze away to take another swig of her, brandy flavored water. Anya sat quiet for a moment, then turned on Willow.
"It lasts all night?"
"On and off. Vampire stamina."
"Hell yeah," Cordy breathed. Anya looked impressed.
"I gotta find myself a vampire! Xander is one time then sleep. If it's a special night one and a half."
"Damn. I'm sorry." Buffy chimed, the argument forgotten. Anya shrugged.
"Anyone ready for a movie?"
"Hell ya!"