Chewbecky: Mwahahahahahaha!!! I'm back, oh yes….I'M BACK!*cackles and starts to shake as drool slides down her face*
Kakashi: Ummm…Yo! I guess this state of unexplainable behavior can only be explained as the result of not getting any sleep for about a week due to working double shifts at work three days in a row.
Chewbecky: *panting b/c of minute long cackling* Why..in the world. did you. just try to explain something. that you just said was unexplainable?
Kakashi:*winks* I'm a jounin.
Chewbecky:*arches an eyebrow* I hope you're going to elaborate on that….
Kakashi: *pulls out Icha Icha Paradise* Jounins are special people.
Chewbecky: *shrugs* So what!? It sill doesn't explain your explanation of an unexplainable action.
Kakashi: *still reading* in a far away voice I have silver hair…
Chewbecky: *sweat drop* mumbles I can see why you're special….On that note, I just wanna say that this fic is WAY outta control. AND, all the characters are OOC!
Disclaimer: IF I just so happened to own Naruto, which I don't; but IF I did, I would be rollin' on twenty's right about now…Masashi Kishimoto….such a great man…*sobs in corner*
At the Hokage's Office
"Alright, do you want to tell us what happened?" Tsunade sama asked the foreigner.
"I plead the fifth…"
"The fifth what?"
"The fifth amendment, that's what!" the foreigner just about screamed.
"Umm, there are no amendments in Konoha…" Tsunade explained slowly.
"What!? What kind of world are you people living in!? Pshht, no amendments…" the foreigner commented in an obvious state of shock.
"Okay, how about you Sasuke kun? Would you like to explain what happened?" a frustrated Tsunade turned to her left and faced Sasuke.
"Oh, yeah…I'll tell you what happened!" Sasuke said through clenched teeth while death glaring the foreigner. "That…that stupid @$$ motha-@$#%*&^ crazy ^$*(%$"
"Oh, Hell no!" the foreigner cut in jumping out of her seat, "He is lying, LYING I tell you!!"
Tsunade sweat dropped, and took a swig of sake. "Do you want another chance to explain what happened then?"
The foreigner sat back down in her chair, and arched an eyebrow in thought. She sat all the way back and stared at the ceiling. Meanwhile, Sasuke sat on the left hand side of Tsunade with a black eye and busted lip which were complimented with cuts all over his body, all the while sending death glares to the foreigner who wasn't even looking at him.
Sakura busts through the door, "Sasuke kun!" She gasps when she sees the state he's in, and nearly faints. In bounces Naruto, and Kakashi saunters in behind him.
"Sasuke, you got your ass whooped by…by…a GIRL!!!?" Naruto said while pointing at him in disbelief.
"…ah…" Sasuke mumbled while averting his glare o' death at Naruto.
"Scandalous…" Kakashi murmured while eyeing the foreigner up and down.
"Look, it would have never happened if he had kept his hands to himself!" the foreigner said while crossing her legs and snaking her neck around.
"So you're ready to talk now…?" Tsunade questioned the girl.
"I suppose so…"the girl began, "but please don't send me to jail. I'm too pretty for those rough females to be all up on me…"
"No one is going anywhere, I just want to know what happened" Tsunade said soothingly, trying to calm the foreigner down. "Why don't you just start by telling us who you are, and how you got here"
"Okay…" the girl started, while getting comfortable in her seat. Kakashi, who was holding a fainted Sakura, pulled up a seat and Naruto did the same.
"My name is Ayana, I'm nineteen and from Virginia Beach, Virginia. Just this morning, my day started out like it normally did…"
~~~~**flashback**~~~~
"Ayana!!! Get yo black ass up, or you'll be late for school!" a woman in her early fifty's yelled down the hall.
"I'm up!!" I hollered as I rolled out of the bed. I stand up and look at the mirror, which has several pictures taped around the edges. "Orlando, don't look at me like that…It's early and I know I'm lookin' a crazy mess…"
(A/N: for those who don't know, that's Orlando, as in Orlando Bloom! You know, the hot guy who plays Legolas in Lord of the Rings!?)
I stumble down the hall to the bathroom, "Ah , lets see…It's 8:45 am and class starts at 10:00 am…Plenty of time for a nice shower.." I say to myself as I begin to twist the knobs on the faucet. * lets skip ahead to around breakfast time* I am scarfing down some cinnamon life cereal like there is no tomorrow, "Mmmm…gargh…grrrgghh mmrrr..chomp, chomp, chomp." I look up at the clock, "Shoot! Half an hour to get to class!" I scream while milk drabbles down my chin. I wipe it off, grab my book bag and keys and head for the door.
"Bye, Ma!" I scream to my mama as I head to my car, which just happens to be a 88' Honda Civic. And let me tell you, it LOOKS like a 88' Civic. "Damn, I wish MTV would 'pimp my ride'…" I mumble to myself as I start up the car. I put in the best CD of all times…MICHAEL JACKSON *cough, when he was still black, cough, cough*
"You know I'm BAD!! I'M BAD!! YOU KNOW IT, YOU KNOW…!!!" I sing at the top of my lungs while backing out of the drive way and successfully waking all of my neighbors. I dance the best I can while sitting down and steering. The sun is shining bright, and the signs of spring are showing. I'm in a pretty good mood, until a damn stupid squirrel decides he wants to walk on the wild side.
"I will run yo' walnut-eatin'-ass over in a heart beat if you don't get the hell up out my way!!"
The rest of the ride is smooth sailing. I arrive at the parking lot of the community college (that will remain anonymous). It is now around quarter till ten, and I grab my book-bag and proceed to class. I'm walking on my merry way, until…..
"Psst! Psssssssstttt!!!"
"Who the…" I whisper as I ready my pepper spray (which is illegal in the state of Virginia, but they sell it here, so I don't really see why they outlawed it at all).
"Hold up, hold up there, missy…" The man says in a quiet voice while stepping into the light. He has on a black hoody, a long black trench-coat, and black steel toe boots to match.
"Umm…Aren't you a little warm there, buddy? It is about seventy degrees out…" I questioned while arching an eyebrow at him.
"Look…" He began, avoiding the question. "You look like a smart girl. Like you'd know a deal when you saw one…"
"Uh-huh, your point being…?" I said while keeping my pepper-spray in my hand.
"I got these tickets in the back, good tickets. To see…" he looks side to side, "Peaches n' Herb, The Commodores, and…The Temptations!"
"Ack! You better not be lyin' bro! I know concerts like these are scarce" I said while squinting my eyes at him, "So where are you hiding them at!?"
"This way…" He said while leading me through a thicket of bushes, behind a couple of picnic table and to some kind of opening. It was actually what seemed to be what was left of a rotting wooden gate, surrounded by tall bushes.
"Ladies first." He said while pushing the gate open.
"…" I stared at him a moment while contemplating the situation. 'C'mon girl, you know how long it's been since Peaches n' Herb have been back together! Just make sure you get a good look at his face just in case he tries some sneaky shit.' I proceed to walk through the gate, but stop abruptly at the entrance. I hear him sigh in annoyance. "Its dark in there and its daytime outside…." I begin to whine.
"What the…!?:" He yells, obviously outraged. "Just get the hell in there!" He pushes me in. And the funny part about it is, I start to fall. I mean fall straight down, like there's no ground cuz I'm plummeting like a brick being dropped off the empire state building. Just when I think I'm about to die, my fall abruptly stops, and I float down to what I believe to be the ground.
"I knew those tickets were just too good to be true…" I mumble to myself as I shuffle around," Where the hell am I!?" I try to find my way out of this tight confined space. I look up to see what looks like light shining through the cracks of a door. So, naturally, I push on the doors and they open. To my surprise, I'm facing the back of a pale skinned, dark eyed, dark haired boy; who just happens to be singing…
"Like a virgin!!! Ahhh! Touched for the very first time…!" the boy sings while pulling his shirt on and shaking his bootay. "Like a VIIIIRR-RR-RRRRR-RRRR-GIIIINNN—" he stops, mid note, because now he is staring in shock at me, who is still standing in what just happens to be his closet.
"…" I stand there shocked for two reasons. One, this boy is singing Madonna, friggin' MADONNA!!! And two, for the first time in my life, I'm at a loss for words. So my jaw is just…hanging there. Wide open.
"Why are you, no, how did you get into my closet!?"
"Umm, why I are you sporting a pokeball on the back of your shirt..?"
"…It's a fan!! But, so what!? How the hell did you get in my house!?" he all but screams. His hand when to down to some holster thing on his leg, and he pulls out something shiny…and pointy.
'Okay, Ayana. It seems you've made him a little perturbed, not only that but he's got shiny, point objects that he can't wait to try out on ya.'
"Okay, wait just one second, bro…" I try to stall him.
"You must be sent from Akatsuki…Think you can finish me off, do ya?" He said while one of his eyes twitched and he began advancing on me.
"Aka- what!? N-no y-y-y-you've got it a-all w-w-wrong!" I squeak in a high pitched voice.
"The hell I do…!"
With that he came towards me. And I did only what came natural. I sprayed him with pepper spray, and then pulled out 'Ole Faithful' *my handy-dandy box-cutter* and did some of my best work as I kicked his arse.
~~~~***back to reality-er-the present***~~~~
Naruto, try as he might, just couldn't hold it in, "Kyahahahahahaha!! YOU were singing LIKE A VIRGIN!!!!??" he guffawed while rolling on the floor and holding his sides.
"Y-y-you s-saw S-Sasuke kun with n-n-n-no shirt on..!?" Sakura asked me with a crazed look in her eye while she rocked back and forth in the fetal position.
"Hahahaha!!! You said….you said," Kakashi tried to speak while taking wild gasps of air, tears rolling from his visible eye, "...You said "ARSE"!!!"
"Oh, you poor thing…" Tsunade commented, "Only God, well you and God, must know what its like to hear Sasuke kun sing."
"…." Sasuke sent especially venomous death glares Tsunade's way.
'If only faces could kill…' I pondered to myself.
"Well, honey. It looks like this whole fiasco was just a big misunderstanding." Tsunade added after she regained her composure. (she was trying to erase the mental picture of Sasuke singing) "I can't really punish you for protecting yourself…so, I guess you're free to go."
"What the hell!?" Sasuke yelled while bolting upright, "She does THIS *points to the cuts and bruises* to MY beautiful face, and she just gets AWAY with it!!?" he huffed, totally hysterical.
Tsunade just gave him a blank stare. Kakashi stood, and wiped his eye. Naruto, unfortunately, was still convulsing on the floor. And poor, poor Sakura was as white as a sheet, rocking back and forth murmuring something about redrum. I just sat and watched.
"Well I suppose you're going to need somewhere to stay…" Tsunade began. She turned and faced Kakashi, a smile lighting up her face, "Team 7 your mission, if you choose to accept, and you'd better! Is to take care of Ayana chan as long as she resides in Konohagakure!" With that, Tsunade pushed us all out of her office, not even giving them a chance to protest.
Chewbecky: Well, what do you guys think?
Kakashi: well *scratches his chin* I think, that….I'm too sexy for my mask, too sexy for my mask…! Oh, so sexy!!
Chewbecky: *pats him on the head like a teacher does a dumb student* That's why I was asking them *points to readers* not you, okay hun?
Kakashi: *pouts* You never care about what I think? I'm just a piece of meat to you…
Chewbecky: *purrs in his ear* and what a sexy hunk of meat you are...Now be a good boy, and say what we practiced.
Kakashi: *his mask absorbing all the drool* Please read and review…please…read…and…review…