Post-revival fic of Rory's life. Literati, of course!
There's a knock at the door and Rory, wiping a cloth across the counter, drops it and hurries over, slipping slightly on the tangle of papers on the floor. Opening the door she steps back in surprise.
"Hey."
"Jess," Rory says, staring unabashedly. "What are you doing here?"
"Came to see you," Jess says simply. "Can I come in? If that's okay."
"Sure, come in," Rory tells him, stepping aside. "The place is kind of a mess, but…"
"I think the preferred term is organised chaos," Jess grins. Rory tries to return his smile but she feels more anxious than amused and, to quell it, she says,
"How about some coffee?"
"Sounds great."
"Sit, sit," Rory says haphazardly but instead Jess follows her into the tiny kitchen, passing her the coffee bag as she fills the pot. He strolls back into the living room, looking around as the coffee brews. When Rory pours he remarks,
"So Queens, huh?"
"I wanted a change from Brooklyn."
Jess nods as Rory joins him, handing him a cup. She sips her own and adds,
"I keep saying I'll use my free time to clean the place up but I never seem to get around to it. It's dumb, I know."
Jess smiles and Rory goes on,
"It's not a bad place, kind of small but it's mine and I can actually touch the walls –"
"What?"
"Never mind," Rory says, knowing she's babbling. "It's not a big deal. Anyway, I like Queen's. They do some awesome coffee."
"Rory," Jess says seriously. He puts his cup down and Rory draws a deep, uncomfortable breath.
"I'm pregnant."
"I know," Jess says gently and Rory nods.
"Luke told you?"
"Yeah. He was kind of rambling about stuff and that came out and he said I should pretend I didn't know, but I said you wouldn't be mad."
"It's not a secret."
Jess nods and Rory looks away. She stares at her cup until the china blurs and hears Jess ask,
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Rory."
Rory forces her eyes up to see Jess's are filled with concern. Rory opens her mouth to assure him but instead she says,
"I'm dealing."
"That doesn't sound very okay."
"Fine, it's not okay," Rory says, her voice starting to waver. "I'm not okay. It's a mess."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
Jess nods and Rory lets out a bitter laugh.
"My mom is barely speaking to me, I moved somewhere I don't know and I'm going to have a kid. I'm going to be a mom and I don't – I'm – forget it," she finishes and Jess says,
"Don't tell me to forget it."
"You don't have to check up on me," Rory snaps and Jess retorts,
"I wanted to check up on you. No one else is."
"Well, I'm a big girl," Rory retorts but the words curl in her mouth. She's thirty-two years old but she feels like a girl, a stupid teenager who got herself knocked up and threw everything away. She blinks back the hot tears in her eyes, and Jess says more kindly,
"Rory, I just wanted you to know you can talk to me. I figured you might want someone to talk to."
"What's the point?" Rory blurts out and Jess frowns in confusion. "I mean, what is there to say? I'm pregnant and the father doesn't know. I messed up and I'm going to be mother."
Rory sucks in some air and Jess asks quietly,
"It's his, isn't it?"
"Did Luke tell you that too?"
"I figured it out. I heard Lorelai ask you if you were seeing Logan again. Didn't sound like anything was happening with that Pete guy."
"Paul," Rory laughs. "God, no."
Jess smiles but Rory can't return it. She has a horrible feeling she's going to start crying and picks up her cup, desperately gulping the coffee. Since this has happened her hormones have felt as out of control as an adolescent's.
"What's going on?" Jess asks gently. "Just tell me, Rory."
Rory puts the cup down and looks up. Jess doesn't sound mad or angry or like anyone else and Rory lets out a tense breath.
"It was just before Mom and Luke got married. I broke up with Logan. We weren't really together but we had an arrangement –"
"I get it."
"Right. So we broke up and then I was late. And I was in Hartford and I got a pregnancy test and it was positive, but sometimes they're false, so I went to the doctor and it was true. I knew it. I knew it anyway but it was so real then. And then – Mom got married and she asked what I was thinking and I told her. I wasn't going to but when she asked what was going on it just came out. And she was so mad."
Jess waits but Rory simply sighs.
"I was moving here anyway. It made sense to go."
"Have you tried talking to her?" Jess asks and Rory roughly shakes her head.
"No."
"Are you going to try?"
"There's no point," Rory says angrily. "She doesn't want to talk to me anyway."
"You're being stubborn."
"So's she, and she doesn't want to talk."
Jess sighs and Rory slams her cup down, slopping the liquid.
"I didn't ask her for anything. I just told her and she - Jess, she flipped out. She doesn't want to know."
"She was upset."
"Well, I'm not turning cartwheels! Not that I can do anything resembling one, even if I wasn't pregnant. Look, she doesn't want to talk to me, end of story."
"I think you should talk to her."
"And that's going to fix this?!
"Rory -"
"Nothing is going to fix this!" Rory shouts. "I appreciate you coming by, Jess, and you can tell Mom and Luke I'm okay but that's it!"
"Hey, I did not come by for them!" Jess shouts back, making Rory jump. "They don't know I'm here. I came by because I wanted to see you and I thought you would have got that."
"Why do you want to see me?" Rory asks. Her voice is thin and she hugs her arms across her stomach. There is no sign there but Rory holds herself closely as Jess bends to look at her.
"Rory, come on."
"I'm sorry," she says, staring at the wool of her sweater. It's a deep green and the thread is trailing at the wrist. Jess reaches to touch her hand but Rory steps back.
"Thanks for coming," she says, forcing herself to sound even. "I do appreciate it, Jess."
"Rory, don't - it wasn't an obligation thing."
"I know."
"I just wanted to -" Jess stops, running a hand through his hair. "I wanted to see how you were."
"Well, you saw me," Rory says. Feeling her frustration return, she folds her arms tighter and settles her gaze. Standing in silence for a moment, Jess breaks it by picking up his jacket and shrugging it on.
"I guess you want to be alone," he says. Rory doesn't reply but he nods and walks over to the door. Just as he reaches the handle Jess stops, looks back and says,
"You're not on your own."
He lets himself out. Rory stares at the door long after he leaves. Finally, giving herself a shake, she picks up the abandoned cups and carries them through to the kitchen. Dumping them in the sink Rory grabs a rag to wipe the spilled coffee. As she walks back her foot catches on her laptop cord and her knee jerks against the table.
"Dammit!" Rory shouts as her leg throbs. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"
The pain is shortlived but Rory sinks down on the sofa, rubbing her leg and biting her lip. For a while she sits and the only sound is the faded hum of the street outside.
"Damn," Rory whispers to herself. "I don't know what to do."
It feels too pathetic. Rory gets up and goes to the window. Jess is long gone but she stares out anyway, at the busy streets, until a heaviness in her heart forces her away. She may not be alone but it feels terribly similar. Rory turns, goes back to the sofa and switches on the television, letting the brightness of the screen wash out her mind.