"Delphine, if you're not gonna be with me. If you're not gonna switch sides, let me go," Cosima said, almost desperate. Wanting to be free of this uncertainty. Needing Delphine to release her from their tattered bond.
Delphine shook her head. Cosima thought she saw a glimmer of the old Delphine, the Delphine who stole wine bottles and comforted her through coughing fits. Cosima tried to push those thoughts aside. She had to stick to the plan. Delphine looked at her with the icy, impenetrable expression Cosima had come to hate over the past couple of weeks. But Cosima noticed a slight hitch in Delphine's breath and a flicker of…was it sadness in her cool hazel eyes, and she found her own resolve starting to crack.
Cosima turned and headed towards the door to leave, desperately needing to put distance between Delphine and herself. Screw the plan, Cosima thought. She couldn't be drawn back in only to get her heart inevitably broken again. Delphine didn't make a move to stop her, but she thought she heard Delphine sigh. Cosima stopped. She closed her eyes, fists clenching and unclenching at her sides, realizing she couldn't keep running from this. She had tried to find distractions, anything to keep her mind off of Delphine, but it only prolonged the aching in her chest.
"The day you left for Frankfurt I almost died," Cosima blurted out, with her back to Delphine. She's not exactly sure why she decided now, of all places to tell Delphine about her brush with death. After their brief encounter in the lab, Cosima was having a hard time keeping the emotions that surfaced at bay. She could still feel the ghost of Delphine's touch on her hand. She was only supposed to give Delphine her resignation, expecting to get pushback, distract Delphine long enough. But now it's as if she had no control of the words that left her mouth. She needed the blonde to know the truth. That nothing in this world was more important than her. Even though they constantly butted heads, Delphine was still everything.
This was not part of the plan.
Turning to face Delphine, "I had s-some kind of near death experience. And it was so easy, I could have just slipped away," she said, doing her best to keep her composure. "Then I had a vision of you…" Cosima felt the final pieces of her armor breaking away, after weeks of stuffing everything down, neglecting her responsibilities, pretending she was okay. "I came back for you," she said, with a small sardonic laugh, voice trembling.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Delphine pleaded, voice breaking at the revelation, Cosima finally opening up to her.
How could I? When you showed up at Felix's I thought my vision had come true, but instead you broke my heart. "Because you don't believe stuff like that," Cosima said walking towards Delphine. Taking a deep, shuddery breath, I can't let you go. "Because we have to move on," she said, standing in front of Delphine, inching forward. She turned her head away, not able to meet Delphine's eyes. Cosima could feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, unable to contain them any longer. Delphine leaned forward, running her knuckles along Cosima's cheek wiping away a tear that had escaped.
Delphine moved her hand to Cosima's neck, trying to comfort, to ease the tension that had built up over their separation. "Come here. Come here," Delphine whispered as she brought her other hand up to cup Cosima's cheek, turning the brunette's head to face her. No, we can't.Cosima tried to use the last of her strength to resist, but she knew it was pointless. She met Delphine's lips in a soft, but fervent kiss. Before Cosima knew it, Delphine was pulling back, pushing her away. "I'm sorry," Delphine said softly, a touch of sadness in her voice. Then the Delphine she had known over the past few weeks was back, "You should have trusted me."
Cosima didn't know what hit her. One minute their lips were gently moving together, she could have sworn she heard Delphine whisper, "my love," and the next she was met with a cold reminder that nothing had changed. But that wasn't entirely true. She had changed.
With a quivering lip, "How am I supposed to trust you, Delphine?" Cosima said quietly. "Every time I let my guard down with you, I seem to regret it."
"That's not fair," Delphine said harshly, rising from her place on the desk. "You may not have liked my methods, but you're alive because of the decisions I've made."
Cosima opened her mouth to speak, but found the words caught in her throat, then closed it. She knew, at least on some level, that Delphine was right.
"You can't just go around making decisions because you think that's what best. There are other people involved, other people to consider," Cosima said.
"I have been keeping everyone in mind," Delphine started, then paused, Cosima could hear the bite in her tone. "Why can't you see that?" She sighed, and walked around to the other side of her desk.
"See what?" Cosima questioned. "Even when we were together you kept things from me."
"You know why."
"That doesn't make it right, Delphine!" Cosima said louder than intended. "You can't keep making these unilateral decisions–"
"But you're not doing anything, Cosima," Delphine practically shouted, cutting Cosima off. "It's like you've given up." Her frustration evident.
"Bullshit," Cosima spat.
"Non?" Delphine asked. "I've been risking everything, using my new position to try and keep you and your sisters safe, but I can't do that with you working against me at every turn, and off doing God knows what instead of working to find the cure."
"Scott and I have been working," Cosima countered.
"Is that so? Then how is it that neither of you made the connection between the Castor clone and Gracie Johnassen? You're better than that, Cosima."
"Look, I may be…distracted, but I more than anyone want to find the cure."
"Then prove it. Otherwise, there was no point in…" Delphine trailed off, a frown taking place of the stony countenance she had adopted.
"No point in what?" Cosima asked, brows furrowing as she noticed the change in Delphine's demeanor.
"It's nothing." Delphine raised her hand, swatting the air trying to wave it off. "Ask Sarah."
"Sarah? What does she have to do with this?"
Delphine opened her mouth to reply, when her phone rang. She glanced down at the caller ID and answered it immediately.
"Hello." Delphine paused. "What? How is that possible?" She asked angrily. "I thought you said…okay…I'll see you shortly." Delphine let out a frustrated sigh, slamming the receiver down, nearly knocking over the desk lamp with the force.
"What's wrong? What's going on?" Cosima asked, remembering the plan, worried that something went wrong.
"It's Rachel." Delphine met Cosima's eyes with a cold hard stare, and a chill ran down her spine. "She's had an accident."
Cosima could only gape at Delphine.
"Don't leave my office. We are not finished," Delphine ordered and quickly strode out of her office.
For once Cosima followed Delphine's instructions, realizing too late that maybe she had gone too far.