Pairing: A/T'P, with moments of T/T'P (folks who like T/T'P may not like this story)
Thanks to Monica for editing this!
Chapter OneT'Pol walked into Trip's quarters using her code, as she did almost every night these days. As she punched the final button, she realized the door wouldn't open.
'Odd,' she thought.
She tried the code again with the same effect. She pressed her thumb against the comm button and instructed, "Computer, locate Commander Tucker."
The computer chirped back, "Commander Tucker is in Engineering."
T'Pol waded through her feelings, wondering if perhaps he wanted privacy this evening. She felt for some reason he was growing distant lately. She mulled over the thought, turned her back and headed into the Mess Hall. Each step she took led her thoughts down a new avenue. Their relationship was only four months old; what could possibly go wrong in such a short amount of time? She decided to ponder the matter over a cup of Vulcan tea and ruminate on the problem to determine the most logical course of action.
She walked in and placed a mug under the food replicator when she spied Captain Archer sitting across the room, reading a book. Since the mission had concluded and they began heading back to Earth, he'd seemed almost like his old self. He was quieter, perhaps more weary, but definitely less demanding. He still isolated himself -- that had not changed.
He looked up briefly and caught her eye. He smiled and closed his book politely.
"Hey, T'Pol. Didn't expect you in here," he said.
She took the mug to her lips. "Nor, I," she whispered into the cup.
Archer had known this woman for three years. He'd seen the furrows in her forehead and the emotion in her before – she was sad. He smirked and offered her a seat. "Something bugging you?"
T'Pol sat and watched the red liquid swirl around in her cup, becoming transfixed with it. She absent-mindedly said, "It is of a personal nature."
He knew what that meant – it was about Trip. He'd heard the two had entered a relationship sometime back. He still remembered the day he found out the news from Hoshi. He'd hated it. Surprised the hell out of him for many reasons – he never thought T'Pol and Trip would make a good couple, never thought T'Pol would be interested in a human, never thought Trip would settle down with one woman and never thought he'd be jealous about it. It was true. He'd been in love with her for more than a year … maybe two. But, he couldn't say anything. After he found out, he'd tried to be supportive. No, scratch that. He decided to become lost in his job; he wouldn't talk about it. He'd taken the drive he had in the mission and narrowed his focus like a laser beam. He didn't want to feel jealousy, confusion, regret and grief, especially when Earth's destruction was imminent. He didn't have time to think about himself or them. He didn't want to have time to think about them.
Since then, he'd become more and more accepting. He still didn't like it, but decided to wish them well. He knew Trip was a good person, and he loved the man almost like a brother. And, maybe it was love that made him wish T'Pol happiness. She was beautiful, smart, engaging, kind, challenging …. She deserved to be happy.
He sat back, wondering if he should ask why she wrinkled her forehead. He'd already decided to choose a path of acceptance many months ago; he might as well go for broke, now that he had the luxury of time.
"You and Trip?" he asked, knowing the Mess Hall was empty.
She glanced sideways at him, uncertain whether she should continue. "I am certain it is nothing, Captain."
She thought of Jonathan Archer as a friend. She had learned to trust him and admire him. He also had unique insight into Charles' behaviour. If she could talk with anyone on board about this incident, it would be him.
Archer joked, "Well, I don't exactly have terrific dating record, but … I'd be willing to give some advice.
She felt a little relieved at his comment, but continued with stoicism, "I feel Commander Tucker is drawing away from me."
"Maybe you're imagining it," reassured Archer.
"No. I do not … imagine things. Tonight, I tried to use the entrance code he provided; it did not work."
"Maybe he just needed a little privacy," he said with a lopsided smile.
"There are other indications," she murmured. "He has not been as … affectionate."
Archer's smile collapsed. He was treading into territory he didn't want to hear about, but doubted T'Pol would talk about their sex life. He remained quiet.
"And … he is normally quite affectionate," she added.
"Is being affectionate important to you?" he asked, not knowing whether Vulcans kissed, touched and more.
"Not necessarily. However, for Commander Tucker it is unusual for him to not to be demonstrative."
'Uh, oh,' thought Archer. He knew this part of Trip pretty well. The man was sensitive, charming, funny … and got bored with women easily, but T'Pol? The man seemed genuinely crazy about her. Archer felt there was something about his pal that made him irresistible to women. Must be, he was constantly bombarded by them.
Archer was about to open his mouth, when he saw someone walk in. He said, "Why don't we take this to my quarters?"
"You are not otherwise busy?" she asked.
"Not really," said Archer. He stood up and made his way out the door and down the hall. T'Pol followed lost in thought behind him.
As he entered the barely lit room, he poured himself a drink. Porthos looked up with mild interest, noticed the visitor and went back to sleep. Jon looked down at his dog as he took the scotch to his lips.
"Don't you wish you were a dog sometimes?" he mused.
She raised an eyebrow and responded, "No."
He chuckled to himself, "Of course you don't." He placed the crystal top back in the scotch decanter and asked, "Would you like something?"
"My tea is sufficient. Thank you," she responded.
He headed over to the bed and offered her the seat at his desk. He scratched his head thoughtfully and tossed around in his mind how to deal with her question. He began slowly, "You know, humans aren't always affectionate, T'Pol."
"Oh?"
"As a relationship … matures … the affection becomes less physical," he said. "Have you … talked with him about it?"
"I have attempted," she said, crossing her legs. She took the cup to her mouth and sipped, letting the liquid glide down easily. Her eyes shimmered despite the low light of his quarters.
"What did he say?" asked Archer, leaning back on his elbows.
"That I should not be concerned," she replied.
This was more painful than Archer realized. Why would Trip mess up this opportunity with T'Pol? He was lucky to have gotten her in the first place. Damned lucky.
He mustered up his courage and asked, "I don't want to pry, but has he mentioned the 'L' word?"
"The 'L' word?" asked T'Pol.
Archer added sheepishly, "You know … love."
She still looked puzzled.
Archer asked more bluntly, "Did he tell you he loved you?"
She said flatly, "Yes."
Archer sighed long and deep. This was gut wrenching. He took a swallow of his drink and said, "Well, you see. I'm sure everything is okay. I know Trip wouldn't tell you he loved you unless he did."
She took another drink and whispered, "But he has not mentioned it within the past week."
Archer winced. He wasn't really sure what to do. He thought it was a pretty bad sign, but didn't want to give her any indication it was bad news. He swallowed the rest of his drink in one gulp and leaned over, letting his feet touch the floor. He reached out for her hands and took them, trying to be supportive.
He said slowly, "I think you two should talk about things."
"You think it is an indication something is wrong?" she asked.
He let his hands drop and admitted, "I don't know. I'm just not sure I can help you." God, he wanted to help her. He wanted to tell her that she was too good for Trip anyway. He wanted to explain to her he desired her, lusted after her … loved her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her, stroke her hair …. He knew it was too much to ask. He understood that she needed someone to confide in, not someone to take her mind off her problems.
She stared into her mug.
"I know this has been difficult for you to discuss, and I appreciate you sharing it with me. I wish I had an answer for you. I'm not convinced anything is wrong, I just think you two should talk."
She saw something in his eyes that made her sit back in her chair. She always thought he was handsome, but watching the care and concern in his eyes was moving. "You do not have any speculation?"
"I don't know, T'Pol. We're getting closer to Earth."
"He is embarrassed of our relationship?" she asked.
"No," said Archer, rubbing his thighs with anxiety. Maybe. "I mean, he might be reassessing things, wondering how he wants to handle your relationship …. I don't know. I'm guessing."
She blew into her mug and brought it to her lips. After she swallowed, she asked, "It is possible there is someone else?"
"You mean he's having an affair with someone?"
She raised her eyebrows in return.
Now, he was really uncomfortable. "I think if you feel this way you should talk with him."
Without missing a beat, T'Pol said, "You are correct of course. I apologize for placing you in a difficult situation."
He reassured, "T'Pol, I don't think he's interested in anyone else. But, if he was … I doubt he'd tell me. I mean, if you were looking for me to reveal a confidence …."
"I would never ask you to betray his confidence," she reiterated. "I wanted your opinion."
He nodded once and decided to get up and fix himself another drink. This was awful! Why in the world did he agree to this discussion?
"Are you looking forward to returning to Earth?" she asked, breaking the silence.
Archer wheeled around. "I don't know. Yes. I know it won't be for long. I'm sure Forrest will ask us to continue our original mission. Actually, I wouldn't mind doing that …." He poured an amber liquid into his glass and raised it to his lips.
"Do you have … someone waiting for you on Earth?" she asked.
He wanted to spill his drink, but regained his composure. "No," he said.
"You do not have family or a significant other?" she asked.
He crossed back to his bed and sat down, looking into his glass. "No. I have some friends, but almost everyone in my family is dead."
"I did not realize," she replied.
He shrugged. "Doesn't really bother me." He thought, 'Well, not anymore.'
She pressed her lips firmly against each other. After a few moments she said, "I should leave you to your evening. I apologize for disturbing it."
"No. You didn't disturb my evening. Heck, it's a book I've already read anyway. Besides, you're a friend. You can come to me any time you want. I'll be here for you," he said with a smile.
"I appreciate your assistance in the matter with Commander Tucker."
"I hope everything works out," he added. "I know it will."
She gathered herself up and strolled out the door. Archer lay back on his bed and gulped down the rest of his drink.
Chapter TwoT'Pol wandered back to her cabin and decided to meditate on the matter regarding Charles. She did not understand its complexities. Something, as he would say, 'nagged' at her. As she stared into the flame her comm beeped.
"T'Pol here," she replied.
"Hey, it's me," said Trip. "I … ah … wanted to talk with you. You busy?"
She looked at her meditation candles. "I was only meditating. You can come here, if you desire."
"I'll be there in a few minutes," he responded.
She took her thumb away from the comm and stared at it. She wound her hands around her knees and sat on her bed, waiting. She knew by his voice it was going to be uncomfortable. Perhaps that was 'instinct' – the thing humans were always talking about. She had no empirical data, just a feeling.
As she closed her eyes, her door chimed. She stood and walked to the door. The look on Charles' face was grim. He shoved his hands through his hair and said, "Can we talk?"
"Of course," she responded. She waved him into her cabin and sat down.
"I … I don't know how to say this, or how you're going to take what I have to say."
She offered him a seat, seeing him standing and tugging needlessly at his shirt, fidgeting with the material.
He refused saying, "I'm just gonna get this out and we can talk about it now, or when you're ready."
She raised her eyebrow. "Please, proceed."
"I'm not sure about us," he said too quickly. He regretted how it came out, but was glad it was out in the open.
She took a long breath and admitted, "I expected you to say this."
Trip sunk onto her bed. "I've been wondering about us for a while. I'm just not sure it's working out. I mean … it's me. I know we're heading back to Earth. I want to forget about this mission and everything that's happened. I mean, us … us was great. You're great. I just … I just don't know. I don't think we should see each other for a while, at least while we're on Earth. I want to make sure this is right. I want to make sure us is right. I mean, I think we need a break."
She stared down at the floor, wondering if she was hearing the conversation. "Vulcans rarely end relationships."
Trip's face skewed up with confusion. "What about Koss?"
"That was not an intimate relationship, Charles," she offered weakly. She had allowed this man's thoughts to roam inside her head. She had willingly become intimate with him. She did not know how long their relationship would last, but took for granted it would be long-lived. "Is there another?" she asked, barely finding her voice.
Trip scratched his head. "Not really. I mean, I've been thinking of someone for a while, but I haven't initiated anything. And, I think I was interested in her not so much for her, but because I was unsure about us."
T'Pol didn't want to know. A few moments of silence passed between them. Trip reached out for her hands, trying to hug her to him, comfort her. She broke away from his grasp. "If your intention is to end our relationship, I would prefer we do not have further physical contact."
She was so cold sometimes. He nodded slowly, wishing it was a couple of months ago when the two of them were wound in each other's arms and he had loved her with a passion he thought could never die. Coming to Earth was a mixed blessing. He wasn't sure he wanted to be with a Vulcan. He wasn't sure what he wanted. He didn't think he was getting cold feet, but felt he owed T'Pol the truth.
"You know, I still think of you as a friend. And, I hope that won't change, T'Pol," he whispered. "And there might still be something between us. Who knows?"
"You are my friend. Too much has happened between us for that to change," she confided.
Trip furrowed his brow and drew himself up, trying to stand as tall as possible. He wished she'd cry or do something to make him comfort her, or know what she was thinking. Now, she was a brick wall, determined to hide her emotions.
"I'll always be here for you," he tossed out.
"I know," she replied, walking him to the door. As he left, he didn't know what to think. She was so quiet. She hadn't asked many questions. She had taken everything just as Vulcanly as possible. He hoped she'd be okay. He knew she would be. He hoped she would be.
T'Pol watched the door close and felt emotions nipping at her. She felt confusion, remorse, guilt, sorrow and loss. She had been thrown away, discarded. Charles was unsure why he didn't want her, or need her. He just didn't want her. The truth was plain – he just no longer loved her. She took a long, deep breath and held it in. It seemed the need to 'think things over' was a euphemism to break things off.
She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes, trying to sort through her feelings.
Chapter ThreeTrip stumbled down the hall, racked with guilt. They were headed to Earth; it'd take less than a month to reach it … but he thought what he just did would further complicate matters on board the ship. "Better tell the captain," he said aloud to himself.
As he made his way to Archer's door, he hung there, hoping Archer wouldn't tear into him as he would've only a few weeks before – when he was the asshole who led the Enterprise into the Expanse. He'd noticed Archer had softened a lot since the conflict was resolved, and hoped that guy would be available.
He nervously, pressed his finger against the door chime. Archer looked a little dishevelled like he had just been awakened.
"Trip," he said, trying to bring himself to life.
"Sorry, Cap'n. You got a couple of minutes to talk?" he asked.
"Sure," responded Archer, moving out of the way. He scratched his head and sat down on the bed, in virtually the same spot he had taken while talking with T'Pol.
Trip huffed and kicked the deck plating for a few moments. He then dragged himself over to the chair at Archer's desk and threw himself into it. He leaned back and stretched his legs out.
"What's on your mind?" prompted Archer. He had an inkling this was about T'Pol, but was determined to make Trip go through the motions.
Trip looked at the decanter of scotch and said, "Maybe we should have a drink?"
"Bad news, huh?" asked Archer, crossing over and pouring two full glasses.
"You're not gonna like it. It might affect my working relationship with a member of the bridge crew."
Archer was about to grab the two drinks and head back. He stopped and took a deep breath. "T'Pol?"
Trip scratched his head. "Ah, hell. Yeah, it's T'Pol. I broke up with her tonight."
Archer's face tugged down as he handed him a glass. "Trip, I don't think Vulcans can just … break up."
Tucker smirked, "I know, I know. I just … I don't know what I want. Maybe I am embarrassed of what my folks and friends would think about T'Pol. Maybe I'm just nervous because I've never been this close to someone. Her thoughts sometimes rummage around in my head. Maybe I just need a break from everyone on the Enterprise. I never really mourned Lizzie."
Archer quipped, "So which one is it?"
"I guess a combination of all of the above."
"Well, if you're closer to her than anyone else, you'd think you'd want to continue that. I haven't seen you with anyone for this long in a while. She obviously cares a lot about you," he said. He sipped deeply into his drink. His heart was pounding in his chest. Deep down, he wanted to convince his friend he did the right thing, but knew T'Pol would be devastated.
"See, that's just it. I don't know if she cares a lot about me. She never really says anything. Even when we're intimate …."
Archer really didn't want to hear this, and something in him snapped, interrupting his friend, "Well, as your captain, I appreciate you telling me about this. It's only a few weeks until we reach Earth. I'm sure you can be professional until then. Right?"
Trip drank and nodded. When Archer raised his eyebrows, Trip added a "Yes, sir."
"As your friend, I think I can tell you – I think you just fucked up. You seemed incredibly happy. T'Pol seemed happy … well … for a Vulcan. I think if you're embarrassed about your relationship, you should've thought of that before. And, if you're embarrassed, you're an idiot. If you're scared, you should hang in there and talk to her about it. And as for mourning Lizzie … you never really stopped. You've been using it as an excuse for the past few months."
Trip glared at him, pointing his finger. "Now, wait a minute …."
"You obviously came here to talk to me as a friend. I thought you wanted some advice. So, I'm giving it. I don't think you understand -- this was deeply personal to T'Pol."
"How do you know?" asked Tucker.
"I know enough about her to understand. I would've thought you knew her better."
That stung. "I still love her …."
Archer countered, "You love her so much you needed a break? Is there another woman?"
Trip shook his head. "Not really."
"Not really doesn't sound like a 'no.'"
"Well, I'm not planning on anything."
"You going tell me?" asked Archer.
"I received a communication from Natalie a week ago or so. She said her relationship was over, and was interested in seeing me as soon as I got back."
"Ahhh … so that's it," he said snidely. He looked into his glass and gave a vacant smile.
"I'm not sure how I feel about her," confessed Trip. "I loved Natalie. I thought I'd marry her."
"Sounds like you need to think things over. I hope you get everything worked out," responded Archer.
"Listen, Jon. Would you check in on T'Pol? She seemed pretty … unreadable when I left."
"She was probably upset, Trip. I'm not sure she'd want company."
Trip shook his head. "I'm not so sure. I'd just feel better. Could you do that for me?"
Archer shrugged, "Alright." He hated the position he was in.
Trip smiled. "Thanks, Jon."
Chapter FourAfter an hour of laying awake and alone in the darkness, T'Pol's door chime rang. She wondered if Charles had come back to see how she was. He was emotional enough to do so. She decided to answer the door, in case someone was calling her to duty. When she answered the door she raised an eyebrow.
"May I help you, Captain?" she asked.
He looked a bit rumpled and out of sorts. He nodded and whispered, "Listen, I just want you to know Trip told me what happened," he said barging into her cabin as the door closed.
"It seems my suspicions were correct," she offered.
"You okay?" he asked. Although no emotions were leaking out, he knew her well enough to know the timbre of her voice when it was gloomy. Her eyes seemed glassier than normal. And her shoulders sagged uncharacteristically.
She felt empty, unwanted, discarded, unloved. No matter how much she willed them to go away – her emotions gnawed at her, demanding attention.
"I am unharmed," she commented.
She seemed stiffer and more formal than normal, which to Archer seemed like a bad sign. He took a step forward, wondering if he should hold her, or whether she would see that as an invasion. He decided she could chide him later as he cupped her shoulders and brought her to his chest.
He held her there and murmured, "I'm sorry, T'Pol. I'd been wanting everything to work out between you two."
Her emotions were swirling around her head. But, she felt other emotions, too. She felt her own sorrow, but also felt caring, friendship, hope and a tinge of … desire? It was his; he desired her. She sorted through her thoughts. This was really too much. She tried to block out his feelings.
Oblivious to bombarding her with his thoughts, he said, "T'Pol, I know you have emotions. I know you must be feeling hurt and upset. I know you're probably confused. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Trip was pretty concerned about you when he left."
"And, thus he asked you to check on me?" challenged T'Pol.
He backed up from her and looked deeply into her eyes. "You're my friend." No, she was more, but he couldn't really tell her that.
She remained silent, staring at him, wondering what he wanted.
"I remember the first time a girl broke up with me. I felt undeserving, unattractive …. After a few months I started dating again, but it was tough. She was my first real love," he mentioned.
She straightened her spine. "I assume you are attempting to cheer me up?"
His lips tugged down. "Not working?"
"No," she replied.
"Something I can do to help?" he asked.
"I doubt it," she replied.
"T'Pol," he nudged.
She stared at him and found her hands balled into tight fists. "Vulcans do not enter into relationships lightly. I had attempted one with Commander Tucker knowing the ramifications. I understood that there might be issues or problems that would arise. And, he made no promises about a long-term commitment. However, I found myself wanting it. Wanting him. To a Vulcan, that is despicable and illogical."
He admired her for admitting her emotions and for feeling them, but disliked that they involved Trip. "What happens now?" he asked, sitting down on her bed.
"I am uncertain. Charles touched my mind. No doubt another Vulcan would sense this. I do not believe I would be able to forge a long-term relationship with another Vulcan now. And, I am not certain I want to. I found that I … enjoyed … human passion and emotion."
Archer raised his eyebrows. He sensed the conversation had progressed far beyond her comfort, but decided to continue. "Come here," he said, patting the bed.
She warily sat beside him, heavily, feeling a little wrung out. She wanted the captain to go, but she also wanted him to stay. His presence felt comforting.
"So, he had a profound impact on you. It sounds like as much as you could, you loved him."
"That is … logical," she admitted.
He smirked, "Does he know? When he talked to me he seemed a little unsure."
"Do humans need to be told these things?" she asked.
He chortled, "Some more than others, but yes."
"If our relationship has ended, what purpose would it serve?" she asked, tracing her fingers on the bedspread.
"You never know. It might change the situation. I bet Trip would like to hear it. Humans admit to feelings sometimes, even when they know the desired outcome isn't possible."
"Always?" she questioned, with another agenda.
Archer's eyes darkened, wondering her intent. He decided to admit, "If we're smart."
"Are you smart?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" he returned, knowing exactly what she meant.
"Captain, do you have feelings for me?" she asked, plainly, wondering why she asked at all.
He took a steady breath. "You're my friend, T'Pol," he lied. "Why?" He didn't want to tell her how he felt. It was wrong. And he certainly didn't want to complicate matters for her now. Not that he thought she would be interested.
She peaked an eyebrow. "It is of no consequence."
"You going to talk with Trip?" asked Jon, trying to change the subject.
"Perhaps," she responded.
Archer stood up. "As your captain, I asked Trip to be professional about this. We only have a few weeks until we reach Earth. I'm pretty sure I don't need to ask you to be professional. Do I?"
"No," she responded.
He nodded. It sucked to be the captain sometimes; now was one of those times. "Let me know if you need anything," he said.
"Of course," she replied.
He hung near the door and asked, "Say, why don't just you and I have dinner tomorrow night. Maybe you'll let me escort you to the movies." He beamed, trying to make it seem friendly.
The movies was the last place she wanted to be. Trip talked about films many times to her. She didn't want to see another Earth film. She knew Archer's intent was well meaning and said, "Perhaps only dinner. I do not wish to see a movie for some time."
"Dinner it is. I'll meet you in the Captain's Mess at 1900."
"Very well."
He gave her a boyish grin, an understanding nod and marched out the door with a renewed sense of purpose.
Chapter FiveArcher was on the way to meet T'Pol for dinner, but the crew was so ecstatic to be going home, a few of them insisted on him joining them for alcohol they supplied. He felt obliged to drink with most of them. When he joined T'Pol he felt a little light-headed and brave. He walked into the room and saw the ever-punctual Vulcan waiting for him to sit down.
"Sorry for being late," he said.
"You are only approximately five minutes late," she retorted.
He grinned, "Still." God, she was beautiful. Even in her simple purple suit, she just seemed to radiate and glow. He realized he was staring and mentioned, "Uhm, what happens to you when we reach Earth. I … I was hoping to talk with Admiral Forrest about giving you a field commission. How does Commander grab you?"
"I am uncertain what lies ahead. I have been meditating on that. Perhaps I will return to Vulcan," she confessed.
Archer was stunned. "What?!" he asked.
She opened her mouth to repeat her words, when he interrupted, "No. We need you here, on Enterprise."
She furrowed her brow. "Captain, it would be unwise for me to continue on Enterprise, especially since my relationship with Commander Tucker has … soured."
"On the contrary," he argued. "I would love for you to stay. You're a valuable part of my crew. You're the best science officer I've ever seen. I trust you. Besides, you said yourself it would be difficult to return to Vulcan."
She hung her head down and whispered, "That is true."
"Commander Tucker's a big boy. He can live with the choices he's made. You've made a lot of friends here, T'Pol, besides Trip. You and Dr. Phlox seem to have a good relationship. Ensign Sato looks up to you. Ensign Mayweather admires you. Hell, Lt. Reed thinks you hung the moon. And, well, I would hate to see you go," he offered.
"I will consider it," she said.
This was a bad idea. She was obviously brooding about her relationship in her Vulcan way – stoically and barely noticeable. Well, noticeable to him.
"Hey, where are you staying when we reach Earth?" he asked.
She raised her eyebrow. "Unknown at present. The Vulcan Consulate has appropriate accommodations."
"Well," he began, "I think you should stay over at my place."
Her eyebrow climbed against her head.
"I mean, I have a couch in the living room that folds out into a bed. Besides, I'd love to take you around the California area -- show you the deserts, take you to some of the museums and stuff. And, I bet you'd feel more comfortable at my place. I promise I'll even cook vegetarian meals for you. Come on, it'd be great!"
She responded, "I am unsure …."
He sipped his fourth glass of wine, without much to eat for dinner. "You don't know what you're missing. I've heard my mushroom ravioli is excellent."
She poked at her meal and sipped her water. "It would be more convenient," she admitted.
His smile filled almost his entire face. "Excellent. I haven't had a guest in a while," he beamed. In fact, he hadn't had a guest since Rebecca, his ex-girlfriend, slept over at his place before he took off for Enterprise's original mission to return the Klingon. He blushed at the thought.
"You seem to have had a few drinks this evening," she commented, watching his face flush.
He smiled. "Well, T'Pol. We've reached an agreement with the Xindi, averted Earth's destruction and we're headed home. Why shouldn't I be thrilled?" he asked. He neglected to mention perhaps he had a remote shot of a romance with his first officer.
"You do seem more like yourself," she said, stabbing some lettuce and putting it in her mouth.
He gave her a lopsided smile and stared down at his own plate. "So, I hear Hoshi gave you some of her clothing to wear in San Francisco."
T'Pol nodded, "Yes. Although I am uncertain what would be the appropriate course of action when meeting Soval."
He chuckled, "You'd look too human to be respectable?"
Her eyes lit up and she responded, "Yes."
He laughed, "I'll work up an itinerary when you come. I can think of a handful of things you should do on Earth during your stay."
"Can we include the temples in Tibet you have visited?" she asked, sipping her water.
"I'm surprised you remembered that. Absolutely!" he replied.
Chapter SixT'Pol and Jon had grown much closer in the weeks preceding their visit to Earth. They had dinner together, alone, about three days per week. They even began spending time together … just hanging out. Archer would have her over and read as she reviewed various reports. Occasionally, he'd afford himself the luxury of watching her look over the reports. If she caught him, he'd claim, "Seems like a tough problem."
She'd eventually discuss the issue with him, which always made him feel better. There was no doubt in his mind – he loved her. He loved the fact they could be together. He loved the fact she wanted to spend time with him. And he loved that they were both comfortable enough to be together in silence. He frequently read in his bed and she gathered on the floor. He even noticed Porthos would wander eventually into her lap, and she'd stroke his fur in thought. Although, he eventually saw the tip of her nose twitch, as the smell probably began to bother her.
He and Trip had been spending less time together. Actually, Trip was grateful that Archer was so supportive of T'Pol, but was beginning to wonder what the captain's motivations were. Before Trip and T'Pol began to date, he was almost certain that Jon was smitten with her. In fact, he thought his feelings were deeper. But, in the Expanse, Archer was almost completely unreachable and unreadable. Trip decided to make his move on T'Pol, hearing her confession about being jealous. If his friend had really been interested, he would've told him his intentions or raised some kind of objection, but the captain seemed thrilled. Well, maybe thrilled wasn't the right word.
The day before they entered Sol, Earth's solar system, Jon wandered the halls whistling. He'd never felt so good, and the rest of the crew was also excited. He came up with a final itinerary and provided it to T'Pol that evening at dinner.
He grinned. "The first night, I thought we'd spent in San Francisco. There's a great vegan restaurant I think you would like on Nob Hill, or I could cook. The next day, we could visit Yosemite National Park. I used to go there as a kid. The hiking there is not very difficult, and we could take a few trails that I really enjoy. The next day, we could head over to the Grand Canyon and spend the day there. I know you have to meet Ambassador Soval on Thursday, so I figured …."
She interrupted, "It appears to be a busy schedule."
He chuckled, "I just … there are so many things I think you'd enjoy."
"You are thoughtful," she said, leaning over her salad.
He beamed, relishing her praise and sipped his ice tea. "We'll see if you think I'm so thoughtful after I make you dinner tomorrow night."
Her eyes filled with warmth. "I am certain it will be appetizing."
"Well, I'm going over the schedule, but you already had time to look at everything. Anything else you'd want to do while on Earth?"
"No," she replied. "I look forward to my time there."
"Good. I'm going to head down on the first shuttle tomorrow at about 0800. Want me to help you carry your bags?"
"No. That is unnecessary," she responded.
Chapter SevenHe walked into his condo, and held the door open for her.
He took her on a tour of his place, including the bathroom, photos of friends and relatives, and other odds and ends. She took in his place – he seemed to like neutral tones and had very little artwork on the wall, other than black and white pictures. His tan sofa was large enough for three people and has a glass coffee table in front of it. The kitchen had wood floors and cabinets and the dining room had a large wooden Mission style table and chairs. It was neat, but somewhat impersonal.
He fixed himself a glass of wine and offered her one, before they rushed out to get groceries for dinner. She twirled the glass in her hand. "I do not often drink."
He took the wine glass to his lips and said, "Don't feel obligated."
She took a sip. "I do not."
He smiled with surprise. "Good."
She put the wine glass down and said, "You have an aesthetically pleasing abode."
"Well, I'm not much on decorations."
She drank more from her glass. "I like your black and white pictures."
He pointed to the one taken in Yosemite. "Well, we're going there tomorrow."
"I look forward to it."
Archer's heart was racing. She was here, sitting on his couch, drinking his wine and staying with him all week. He promised himself he wouldn't push their relationship. He doubted she'd want to anyway. He knew he should just be happy to have her company. But, she looked radiant. She was wearing typical Vulcan clothing, much like she did on Enterprise.
He reached his hand across the back of the couch and stretched out, folding his knee across his leg and mused, looking into his wine glass.
She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Is there something troubling you?"
He responded, "No. Actually, I'm not troubled at all."
She found the glint in his eye familiar. He frequently looked at her like that these days, at least within the last three weeks. She remembered he looked at her that way before she began a relationship with Charles. Thinking about her previous relationship with Commander Tucker made her wonder about Archer's intentions. For some reason she polished off the remainder of her glass of wine, set the glass on the table in front of her and placed two fingers tentatively to his.
He stared at her, afraid to move or breathe else he would chase her away. He didn't want to get involved with her for her sake, but didn't want to turn her away. As their fingers stroked each other's, he finally asked, "What are you doing?"
"I am showing you a Vulcan embrace," she admitted. Her fingers widened the stroke of her embrace, as the back of her fingers traveled down his forearm.
His head felt warm and a little fuzzy. "Listen, T'Pol. I don't think you should do this. It hasn't been very long since you and Trip …."
Her hands moved from his and travelled along his jaw line. Her two fingers stroked his jaw lightly as his skin tingled where she came into contact with it.
His eyes closed as he allowed his skin to be fondled. He'd been dying to have her touch him for months … years. His body began to lull itself into arousal. He opened his eyes and realized she was watching him contently.
He leaned over and placed his lips on hers, gently. His lips pursed on hers as the two locked eyes. He half-expected her to reach around and pinch his neck, knocking him out. Instead, she looked calm and serene. Her mouth parted, allowing his tongue to roll against hers. As their kiss deepened, Archer let out a groan into her throat. He pulled back and said, "I don't think we should do this."
"Why? Do you not wish to?" she asked.
"No. That's not it. I just wonder if it's too fast for you," he whispered, pressing his mouth to her neck.
She nipped at his lips and wrapped her hands around the collar of his shirt, pulling him on top of her as she reclined on the couch. Her mouth nibbled on his throat, taking his skin lightly between her teeth. He moaned at the sensation, and grabbed her closer to him, scooting her down the couch. He hovered over her, and his kisses became more passionate and less afraid. His mouth met hers hungrily, like it was starving. He traced his tongue along her ear, suckling the point. He took her earlobe in his teeth and gently gnawed as he whispered, "Tell me if you want me to stop."
In response, she began to unbutton his shirt. She easily freed each button and splayed open his shirt to feel his chest. Her hand skimmed over his chest hair and smoothed his skin until it reached his taut stomach.
His mouth ravished hers with small pants, encouraging her to explore his skin. He traced his thumb down her breastplate and nervously brushed it against her breast. She arched into his caress pushing her hips into his. Their movements became more heated, and Archer began to feel like a teenager making out. His head was literally swimming in her. He pushed himself off of her in a daze and grabbed her hand. He whispered, "Come here."
She sat up and attempted to right her outfit. As soon as she stood, he gathered her in his arms and walked into the bedroom. He placed her gingerly on the bed and then slipped out of his open shirt. He unsnapped his watch and placed it on the bedside table, removed his wallet from his pants pocket and kicked off his shoes.
T'Pol reclined back and stared up at him. When their eyes met, Archer asked again, trying to take the eagerness and passion out of his voice. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She watched him without blinking, and said, "Is it not what you want?"
He lay down on the bed next to her and said, "I've been wanting this for a while. I just think if we continue much more, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop."
She positioned her mouth on his chest and began to kiss a trail between his ribcage. He huffed at the feeling of her lips. He worked her out of her clothing and gazed at her Starfleet regulation briefs that clung to her. His mouth roamed around her navel. After suckling it, he asked, "So, what happens after tonight?"
She leaned back on a pillow and said, "I do not know."
"Do you still love Trip?" he asked, afraid to hear the answer, hovering over her.
"Vulcans are incapable of love. But, yes, I still have deep feelings for him."
Archer's lips inverted into a frown. He lay down beside her and glided his index finger down her throat. "So, then … what's this all about?"
"You desire me," she said. "I feel desire for you."
He kissed her lips tenderly. "Just desire?"
"You seem to feel more than just … lust for me," she countered, taking his lips in hers.
He smirked against her lips and broke apart from her embrace. "I do feel more for you. I guess what I meant is, do you only feel desire for me. Nothing else?" His lips traced down her neck.
"I feel friendship. Trust. Respect. Admiration," she responded.
He put his head back on the pillow and gazed into her eyes. He traced the point of her ear with his fingers, tucking a piece of hair behind one. "Friendship and lust, huh?" he clarified, forlornly. "What you feel for Trip is deeper?"
She nuzzled her head into his caress. "Yes."
He knew it was too soon. He knew it was too good to be true. He swallowed deeply and asked, "You want to feel desired?"
She furrowed her eyebrows at him and took his palm to her mouth and lightly tapped her lips against it. "Yes," she confessed. "I know it is illogical. And yet I have been unable to shed this feeling." She looked away and wondered aloud, "I apologize. I am unsure what I was thinking."
He stalked over her abdomen and kissed up her stomach. He whispered, "Do you want to feel cared for? Loved? Adored?"
She was silent, unable to answer. She could only give a slight nod.
He thought that if she wanted to feel desired, he could do it. The fact that she considered him a friend was pretty good, all in all. He figured lust and friendship eventually could lead to love. He could give her what she wanted now. He wanted to. He'd been wanting, aching, to give himself to her for sometime. So, she didn't exactly return his feelings; so what? He already knew it. He turned to her with searing passion and brushed his nose against her grey tank, raising it up.
"I've always thought you were beautiful, exotic, sexy," he said, kissing up her torso while pushing her tank from her body. She wrapped her fingers around the material and drew it over her head. The material seemed to glide up her body.
She was beginning to feel a little drunk on his emotions; lust was eking out of his every pore. He continued, exploring her body with his mouth, "I've always thought you were intelligent. Sophisticated. I've always admired you." He teased her lips and cajoled her tongue. His mouth watered for her, like he was biting into a plum. He panted into her mouth as he explored her body with his hands.
His teeth gently bit at her throat. He whispered, "I do want you. I've wanted you for more than a year." His mouth left a string of kisses down her torso. His breath was tickling her breast as his lips nipped at it.
"I do adore you, T'Pol," he said, his fingers searched for hers; his tongue excited her skin.
He suckled at her breast and said hoarsely, "I've been thinking about you … about this, fantasizing about it." His two fingers stroked hers as she had done to him earlier, winding around them.
She felt like she was on sensory overload. His emotions were barely kept at bay. With every movement he initiated, he became more excited and desperate. Hearing his confessions were tantalizing.
His mouth met hers with stunning impact. She gasped slightly, taking him into her arms slowly. His emotions battered against hers, his lips enticing her to capitulate. His mouth was unstoppable, begging her to give in. His lips moved quicker and with more force. His breath was ragged and his moaning was deep and low. His knee pushed her legs apart gently, but dominantly.
He removed his fingers from their Vulcan embrace and ran them up her arm, down her breast and toward her knee. He looked down at her as she trembled at his touch. His breathing was raspier and more wanton. He ran his two fingers up her thigh. "I've been in love with you for years. I'm still in love with you," he admitted as she began to writhe under him.
His lips doggedly captured hers. His tongue pushed into her mouth as she let free a soft moan. And she surrendered.