XFurubaX: I am so sorry for my disappearance. I've recently re-started school and have been having to keep up with some AP classes…and writers block of course. I'll try to update as soon as I get any free time! Oh, and I do not own the song "People are Strange" by The Doors. XoXo
Clare was left alone a mere two years ago. It was a lonely two years at that. 33 years old, sleeping in a bed for two alone. Making coffee for just herself, working to pay for herself, and watching sit-coms with no one to laugh with…
Clare married Eli. They were married October 11, the date of which they were assigned to do an English essay together. The wedding was beautiful, Clare in her beautiful, white flowing gown, her short hair pulled up in a bun, eyes painted with natural looking mascara and a natural blush on her cheeks. Eli cleaned up in his suit, wearing the tie his own father wore at his wedding…When Clare was 27 and Eli was 28, they had a beautiful girl named Sophie.
But there was a problem. One day when Sophie was only a year old, she suddenly couldn't breathe, they realized a small incision in her brain was needed but that's when they realized the awful news, her daughter had dementia.
Only a third of her brain worked, meaning her body hadn't learned to breathe involuntarily yet at the time.
Eli supported Sophie, while Clare, an IQ of an unbelievable number couldn't take it in as easily…However, once Sophie turned three, there was nothing but love in the house.
Until that day, November 19, 1:34 A.M. Eli had a late job as a writer's editor, he had just finished working on a manuscript when he was driving home in a late night's traffic on the turnpike. A car slammed into his side, skidding him into the divider…Eli was killed immediately. Sophie was just about to turn four.
-X-
"Mom-ma!" Sophie pulled herself up onto Clare's bed, "Mom-ma!" she always had a short pause in her words, Clare opened her eyes, blinking twice,
"Geeet, up!" Sophie stretched out.
"Good morning sweet heart."
She pulled on her nightgown, "Come play! Come a-play!" Clare picked her up,
"Lets go have some breakfast."
"Yee-ah!" Sophie was six years old, dirty blond hair, eyes of ember, and a face that was too innocent and soft to shy away from. Clare still had to help feed Sophie, she didn't mind…it made her feel a little younger, like she had just been born yesterday. Sophie would be starting first grade in the fall, she'd be in the special ed class once again however.
Clare never minded spending the extra time helping her with her school work. She loved her daughter, adding the extra love she once had for Eli. She lived in Illinois now. A small, quiet place where she went to college.
"Ok Sophie," she exclaimed cheerfully, "One…more…bite." she zooped it into her mouth playfully, letting her take her time to swallow. "Good job honey!"
Sophie giggled clapping her hands. Clare checked the time, it was already 10:30 in the morning. Clare usually spent her nights either lulling Sophie to sleep or reading to herself. She went to the gym every now and then but she hasn't been having a lot of time on her hands recently. She lifted Sophie out of her chair,
"Here honey," she put her down, "You want to go to the play ground?"
"Yeah!" she called out excited,
"Ok! Lets go get dressed." she helped an excited Sophie up the stairs.
She always went for walks in the morning with her daughter, but she felt Sophie deserved a treat for trying so hard in kindergarten the year before, math she especially struggled with. Clare always worried about the future, especially with her mental disability, what would kids say to her in middle and high school? How easily would she be manipulated? How far would kids go? She shook of the thought of the things kids did in Degrassi. She prayed Sophie wouldn't end up going there.
She lived in a town where everyone went to the same school. All 12 years. Sophie's current school was both an elementary and middle school K through 8. The kids there were never about causing trouble thank god. Some of the 7th and 8th graders even volunteered their time to helping kids like her. They were all very patient, which seemed to ease Clare's worries.
Then of course there were the teachers that couldn't tolerate the disabled kids. And the neighbors who wouldn't stand Sophie's yelling at times when she acted out. Over the past few years, Clare had a primary problem with her neighbor directly next door Stephen Hawkin.
It wasn't him primarily, it was his dog, Sandy. An old, about to die any minute Golden Retriever that was vicious. It would growl at Clare any time she'd walk past their house. Lucky her it was always tied to it's dog house but when it wasn't, it'd run towards Clare, snarling and showing her it's teeth. Clare went through great trouble to make sure that dog didn't get anywhere near Sophie…who adored the dog no matter how mean.
"Want to go on the swing?" She made it to the park, happy to feel the cool air,
"Mm-hm!" She happily pushed Sophie to help her get started as her legs couldn't reach the ground. Sophie wouldn't be tall. Clare was barley 5'2" and Eli wasn't exactly tall for a man either.
"I want-ta' swing ba' ma' self mom-my!" she yelled giddily,
"You sure?" Clare called, she hated leaving Sophie alone.
"Yee-ah!" Clare pursed her lips and sat over at a bench not too far. She watched as Sophie swung her legs back and forth to keep in rhythm. The sky was gray and the leaves were starting to change color, she had never felt this peaceful and content in a while. She leaned back and closed her eyes, keeping an ear for Sophie.
"Well hello!" she heard a young, cheerful voice call. It was Sophie's babysitter, 17, slim and energetic Allyson.
"Hello Allyson!" She sat down next to Clare hugging her,
"Oh it's been so long! How have you been?" She usually only baby say Sophie while she was at work and couldn't pick her up from school. She hadn't seen her in a month since summer began,
"I've been doing well and you?"
"Never better!" she was a cheerleader at the high school, she'd be going into her senior year when school began. She was also responsible and hard-working. An A-B student with plenty of volunteer and service credits, Clare found her more trustworthy than the straight A valedictorian girl she interviewed. It was mostly her spirit that cheered Clare up.
"Oh my gosh! How's Sophie been?"
Clare sat up, "Sophie's been great. She's on the swings over there." she pointed, Allyson waved,
"Hi Sophie!"
Sophie turned her head, "H-i aunt-tie Al…ly!"
"Oh…she's gotten so big." she gushed.
"I know…" Clare lamented, just yesterday she was carrying her home from the hospital, laying in her bed with her for the first time, whispering her name into her ear.
"Before you know it she'll be graduating college." Allyson added, not really helping Clare, who forced a smile,
"My mother cried the day I graduated elementary school. You should've seen her when I got my master's degree."
Allyson giggled, "My mom's a wreck, she can't get over that I'm gonna graduate in only 8 months."
Clare smiled, looking back at Sophie, still swinging.
"Is…everything alright Clare?"
"Oh yes! Yes of course."
She bit her bottom lip, "You don't seem like it…what's wrong?"
Clare moved her bangs from in front of her bangs, "Nothing really honey but…it's been a while…"
Allyson raised a brow, "A while since what?"
"Since I've…done something."
Allyson was confused until she got a spark of realization, "Oh! You mean a while since you've…like, gone out at night or…dated-"
"No no! No dating…not ever again." she hated the word 'date'. She loathed it with a deep intensity. It was a lonely two years so far, but she had to stay strong. No man would take her pride she thought. A mother and her daughter were a great family she thought…albeit the pictures of her and Eli were still laying all over in Clare's drawer.
"Clare…you can't give up just yet…won't Eli want you to be happy?"
"Eli's go-"
"Gone…but still here."
Clare didn't say anything, she stared at the pebbled ground below her, Allyson leaned in,
"Clare…are you…happy?" Clare stood up,
"Honey…I'm going to go get some water." she began to walk over to the water fountain at the end of the park but Allyson walked after her,
"Wait! Ms. Goldsworthy!" she said, rarely calling her that, "I could use a summer job… and I'd love to watch Sophie while you go socialize-"
"Oh sweetheart, no-"
"No! I'd be more than glad to! You've really helped me with getting some hours I mean…it's the least I can do. The least!"
Clare thought for a minute, putting her finger over her mouth. There was an excellent piano bar about fifteen minutes away from where she lived. Clare loved the piano although she didn't play. But she definitely loved hearing it. She wanted to see the jazz band especially in action…
"Please Ms. Goldsworthy…I'm practically begging you to keep me busy!" Clare looked at her smile, she couldn't say no to it at this point, suddenly Sophie showed up,
"Al-l-l-y!" She hugged her at her legs, she patted her back, kneeling down to hug her properly,
"Hello Sophie!" she squeezed her, "Hello sweetheart!"
"I graduated kindergarten!"
She gasped in delight, "Really? That's great!"
Clare smiled,
"I learned ma' A-B-C's…an..d…ma' ca-lors and,"
Clare looked at the bright smile on Allyson's face, it was like she looked at Sophie as her own little sister…then she remembered the story she watched Allyson share at her poetry club. When she was only 8, her mother led a still-birth with her younger sister, leaving her devastated. She remembered Allyson crying in a classroom after her poem.
She began to understand why she enjoyed children's company so much. And so well. Clare put her hand on her shoulder,
"How would you like a job tonight?"
-X-
It was six in the afternoon, letting Allyson get to feed Sophie,
"I remember everything, emergency numbers are on the fridge, her favorite brand of baby food is in the cabinets farthest to the right, silver where in the drawer next to the sink an-"
"Allyson," she grabbed her car keys, "I trust you." she knelt down kissing Sophie's head, "Bye sweetheart."
"Bye mommy."
She began to open the front door, "Bye Allyson."
"Bye! Have a good time!"
Clare enjoyed the bar more than she ever imagined. A wondrous jazz club playing high spirited and danceable music while couples clapped and jumped and leapt. Clare sat at the bar, not drinking but watching and admiring. The men in the band were good looking with excellent voices.
"People are Strange, When you're a stranger, Faces look ugly when your alone."
"People are strange, When you a stranger, Streets are un-even…When your down. OH!"
The bass guitar got into high gear as some of the younger couples bopped dramatically and passionately to the song. Clare turned around in her seat,
"So ma'am, you come here often?" asked the bartender holding a glass of wine in his hand,
"No. It's my first time actually."
"Well maybe I can offer you a free drink?"
She raised an eyebrow realizing what was happening, "Sir?"
"Please…I'm Thomas. Can I get you some wine…or maybe you'd prefer champagne?" he was high on flirtatiousness.
"Sir…my husband just died." She was feeling steam in her stomach.
His eyes widened, "Oh…ma'am I am so sorry."
She closed her eyes, "It's alright." Maybe Clare shouldn't have dolled up to go to a jazz club.
"I'm sorry it's just…you look so lovely."
"Thank you sir." she replied politely turning around.
"When your strange…when you strange…when your-stra-a-a-nge…YEAH!"
The piano kicked into high gear. Clare tried to get a peak at the pianist. She couldn't tell who he was but hell could he play. So upbeat and catchy. Clare wanted to dance herself.
"When you're strange, Faces come out of the rain. When you're strange, No one remembers your name. When you're strange, When you're strange, When you're… strange."
People applauded and cheered for the masterpiece as Clare smiled and clapped. The band bowed Clare wanted to meet the pianist. To ask what it's like to touch those keys and create art. To enchant people into a spell. A spell of dancing that is.
She waited another hour or so for the bar to become less crowded, she then realized it was just her, the bar tenders, and the band who were in the back room. She stood up from her seat to walk up to them. They were in mid-conversation, she felt somewhat shy but tried to speak out,
"Oh, uh, excuse me…"
They stopped, polite smiles, "Yes ma'am?"
"You were amazing tonight I…I wanted to-to get that out."
"Thank you so much," the lead bassist held out a hand, "And who are you?"
"Clare Ed…Goldsworthy." they shook, they were all around her age, yet they seemed so young.
"Nice to meet you Clare Ed-Goldsworthy." He joked.
"I feel rude asking but…which one of you is the pianist?"
"Oh he's in the wash room, he should be out shortly."
She smiled, "Oh, alright." suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around to see a rather charming young man,
"Clare Edwards?"
She observed his face carefully, she knew his face. No doubt. Her jaw suddenly dropped.
"A-Adam Torres?"
They smiled, "Oh my god." They both hugged tightly,
"Adam! What are you doing here?"
"I play the piano here. You?"
"Ah, I came to meet the pianist here."
"Well…you've already met him."
She laughed, "…I can see that."
Clare never felt happier than right at the moment before.