Ernst lay still in bed. It was spring. The small flowers around his house were blooming and his mother would crush them and keep them in her Bible until the entire house smelled of lilac and daisies.
There was a beam on light streaming through his open window. He heard Anna and Thea run by his house talking about the latest gossip.
"Georg is going to Berlin for Christmas? Well who is he visiting? A secret lover?! No!"
It made Ernst laugh to listen to them, but he would never tell any secrets of people himself. He would feel to guilty.
It was time for school. He could feel the warm morning air. It made him happy. Spring made him happy. Important things happened in the spring. Spring made things change.
Ernst raised himself from his small creaky bed. He refused to let his father make him a new one. This one smelled like being a child. This bed reminded him of his bible and of sweet tea his mother would make him before bed.
His feet touched the wood floor and he paced over to his neatly laid out uniform that also smelled of lilac and wine from his daily trips to the vineyard to read.
He took of his nightgown. His pale skin perfectly reflected the morning light, but it frightened him to look in the mirror. He did not like that he saw a young man in the mirror instead of the child he knew.
He quickly buttoned his shirt and trousers and slipped into his blue blazer that was getting a tad snug.
His parents were sound asleep so he slipped out of his room and out the door into the sun. God he loved spring.
The walk to school was short, yet enjoyable. Ernst let himself wander past the horses and past the trees. He didn't talk much with Otto or Melchior who lived nearby. Ernst liked to keep to himself.
When he reached the schoolhouse all of the boys sat on the white steps and all of the girls sat under the big oak tree. Talking about each other of course.
Ernst did not find any of the girls attractive. He decided that this was because he had not found a particularly attractive girl yet. But he preferred to not think of these things. They frightened him.
And then he saw Hanschen. Hanschen looked beautiful sitting below the window combing his hair and not talking about the girls. Ernst chastised himself for admiring Hanschen. But he was both terrifying and yet terribly intriguing at the same time.
Hanschen caught Ernst's gaze and Ernst quickly looked away. Ashamed that the boy he admired had caught him staring. Hanschen stood up and walked over to where Ernst was standing.
He grew tense. Hoping that Hanschen would not be angry with him for staring. Hanschen was very confident and slick in his movement, Ernst could not resist him.
"Hello Ernst. It's a beautiful morning isn't it?" Ernst blushed and kicked the ground below him.
"Yes…yes it is Hanschen." He replied. Never meeting the beautiful blonde's gaze. But Ernst could tell Hanschen was looking at him too.
"You never seem to talk to anyone else Ernst. Why were you looking so longingly at me? Would you like to talk to me?"
Ernst was extremely embarrassed. He wanted to shrivel up like his mother's daisies and hide in his bible.
"I'm so sorry Hanschen. So very very sorry in fact. I was only looking at the flowers. I didn't mean to impose…I…if you want to talk that's fine."
He heard Hanschen move closer. "I would very much like to talk to you Ernst. I would like to study with you. I can help you with your Latin because I am at the very top of the class."
Ernst knew Hanschen was full of himself but that did not bother him. "Um…yes… if you would like…that would be very helpful."
"Wonderful." Hanschen said, obviously very pleased with himself. "I will come to your house after school."
Ernst felt both proud of himself, and felt strange feelings of longing he had never felt before. He decided it was because he had never had friends before. Yes. Hanschen was becoming his friend. These were deep feelings of friendship.
The walk home from school with Hanschen was both extremely awkward for Ernst and very scary. Hanschen would talk with Ernst about current events and mathematical theories but all Ernst could think about were the two of them together…embracing.
He told his mind to stop thinking of…friendly things they would do together.
When they entered his house, Hanschen walked straight into Ernst's room. Ernst's heart beat very fast. Hoping for things he new were sinful, but yet he couldn't get them out of his mind.
Ernst shyly followed Hanschen.
"So…" Ernst said. "Should we do some Latin?" Ernst's body was twitching and jerking as he fumbled with his books.
"Ernst. You're shaking." Hanschen said, sitting down on Ernst's bed.
Ernst gulped. Again his mind traveled to things he knew he should never think of. "Come. Sit next to me, and we'll talk."
Ernst carried himself over to Hanschen, his face and body heating up. He sat carefully on the corner of the bed.
"Ernst I've noticed you at school." Ernst blushed. "I…I'm sorry if I've distracted you from your work. I'll try to concentrate more." Ernst was very ashamed.
"Oh no Ernst you haven't distracted me. In fact, I can barely talk to you without you getting so nervous. Do I scare you?"
Ernst was taken aback by this comment. Hanschen did not seem joking. He actually seem concerned. Ernst nodded shyly.
"I'm sorry. I've just been trying to talk to you." Hanschen said. Ernst eased onto the bed. He was much more comfortable with Hanschen now.
Their eyes met. Instead of pulling away like Ernst usually does, he kept his gaze. Hanschen's confident cockiness faded and new emotion took its place. A look that made Ernst squirm and jolt again.
Hanschen leaned over to Ernst's ear. They were facing each other now. "I wanted to tell you, that I find you extremely irresistible." Said Hanschen and without giving Ernst any time to process this, Hanschen leaned in and places his lips onto Ernst's.
At first Ernst was afraid and wanted to pull himself away, but then, something overtook him and he gave in, putting his hand on Hanschen's broad shoulder.
"Now do you want to study?" Hanschen whispered seductively. Ernst shook his head, grabbed the lapels of Hanschen's tight blazer and pulled him into another kiss. It was spring. In spring, things changed. In spring, Ernst grew up.