A/N: I got this idea when I first heard about the "coma dreams" and thought that Jason would be the one dreaming. Italics are transcripts from the show. I also uploaded the clips to my youtube channel (same name as I have on here) for those interested in taking a walk down memory lane. Enjoy :)
His head was throbbing and his entire body ached. It felt like he had been hit by a fleet of trucks and for all he knew, he had. The last thing he remembered was driving through the storm with Carly to go find Josslyn. What the hell had happened? He tried to open his eyes but his eyelids felt as heavy as lead.
"Jason...Wake up... Jason"
He heard a voice in the distance calling out to him. He couldn't tell who it was. All he knew for sure was that it woman's voice. It was probably Sam or Carly, all he had to do was open his eyes and find out. He took one last steadying breath and attempted to open his eyes again.
"Oh God..." he groaned as soon as he saw her sitting there.
"Hmm not quite," she wrinkled her nose as she approached him. "It's about time you woke up."
He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming. He'd seen the car explode right after she'd gotten in. He'd been there when they'd recovered the remains. But why the hell was he dreaming of Brenda? Unless...
"I'm in hell. That's it. I died and now I'm in hell."
"Geez Jase, you really know how to flatter a girl. Besides you're not supposed speak ill of the dead. And no you're not dead."
"Then this is a dream."
"Nope. Not a dream," she said smiling at him and enjoying the fact that she was torturing him a little.
"Brenda my head is killing me. Will you please just tell me what's going on? Where are we?"
"Limbo."
"What?"
"We're in Limbo. Well your spirit is anyways."
"So I am dead."
"No. You're in a coma actually."
"So why am I here then?"
"Think of this as an intervention. You're clearly oblivious to what's staring you in the face so I'm here to help you out."
"What are you talking about? I don't need your help."
"Of course you need my help. You're being a total dickhead. You've always been a dickhead when it comes to your love life. Even when you were a genius you could never get it right."
"Like you're one to give advice about love; and that's not very nice language for an angel."
"Who said anything about angels?"
"Well I just assumed...I mean you're not..." he said nodding south.
"Actually the jury is still out on that. But maybe, you know if you let me help you with this..."
"Alright so let do this," he said cutting her off. The sooner they started the sooner it would be over and he could get back to his life. Assuming he still had one.
"Yay ,"she clapped happily as she pulled out a phone-like device and hit a few buttons. "Where to start? Hmm this is a good place."
"Well, who would've thought that we'd end up here? When we first started, we didn't even know each other's names."
"Wait. Wait. Wait."
Brenda hit another button and the scene froze.
"What?"
"This is about Carly?"
"Of course this is about Carly. She's obviously the love of your life. But you're too dense to see it or do anything about it."
"It's complicated okay. You don't know anything about my relationship with Carly."
"I might not know the details of your relationship, but I know enough to know that the two of you belong together."
"Why are you doing this? You don't even like Carly."
"Of course I don't like her. But I don't have to like her to know how much she means to you. So can we please go on?"
"Come on Brenda, is this really necessary?"
"Seriously trying to get out of purgatory here. Are you going to cooperate and let me help you out? I mean after everything you've done for me, will you please just let me try to do something nice for you?"
"Alright, go on."
"We didn't - we didn't need names."
"Yeah, you were my boy on the side. Nice and simple. Maybe that's where I kept going wrong. I just didn't keep it simple.
Jason, there were so many things I wanted to do. I wanted to see those northern lights that you were so crazy about. God, I wanted to go to Rio for Carnivale. I wanted to see the boys grow - it's not going to happen, is it –"
"Just go somewhere else –"
"There is nowhere else to go! There is a strange kind of logic in this, though, that we'd end up here together. You - you were always my rock, my emergency brakes. You know that you are my best friend? Did you ever - do you ever think that we could've been more?"
"Yeah."
"Was there a possibility?"
"I can't speak for you."
"I'm not asking you to. You're dodging the question. Come on. I just - I just need to know. Did you ever feel - did you ever feel more for me?"
"Yes, I did."
"Me, too. Why didn't we ever pursue it?"
"There was always something in the way."
"Now there's nothing in the way, Jason, except imminent death. Jason, kiss me goodbye."
Jason watched the scene unfold with tears in his eyes. He remembered this day. Remembered how in a moment of impending death he had finally allowed himself to admit his feelings to Carly. He had kissed her and nothing else had mattered. He could have died that night and he would have been happy just to have her in his arms for those few moments.
"So can I ask you something?" Brenda asked as the scene faded and they returned to limbo.
"What?"
"Why is it that you always have to be at death's door to admit how you really feel about Carly?"
"It's not that simple Brenda. Carly asked me a question and I answered her. Did I ever wish that things could be different between us? That we could be together like that? Of course I did. But just because I would have liked things to be different doesn't mean that they could have been."
"There's always something in the way. Right?"
"Yeah."
"But that's the thing Jase. Things are only in the way if you let them be. And if you ask me, the biggest thing in your way is you."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Now let's keep going and I'll prove it to you."
"What's going on here?"
"Nothing. I'm selfish and I'm self-centered, and I'm afraid that after you marry Courtney - I don't know - I'm not going to be able to call you at, like, 4:00 in the morning or anything."
"What are you talking about? You never call me at 4:00 in the morning."
"But if I wanted to, things are just going to be different now."
[...]
"Look, I'm not moving to the other side of the world. I'm not even leaving town. I'm just getting married."
"I know. I'm happy for you, Jase. I am. I wanted this, right? But, ok, you're my best friend, and now you're not going to be, and I just feel a little bit –"
"We're still going to be friends."
"But not best friends."
"No, I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to."
"Don't start thinking all sideways, ok? We're friends, whether I like it or not. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves. It might be a little inconvenient. I might even get a headache. And you know what, if I tell you not to call me at 4:00 in the morning, you're going to call me at 4:00 in the morning."
"Only if it's really, really important or I just really, really want to talk to you. But, you know, you can call me anytime."
"And that's why we're always going to be friends. You stand by me, so I stand by you."
"You make it sound like it's a chore."
"Well, sometimes it is. But it doesn't matter. You're in my life. I can't explain why. You have too much courage for your own good. You're always around with these crazy plans, and you won't go away, and neither will I."
"Good."
"I'm always on your side, no matter how wrong you are."
"And I'm always on your side, too."
"So you don't think it's strange that you were declaring your undying devotion to Carly minutes before you were about to marry someone else?"
"It wasn't like that. Carly felt like she was losing me. I had to let her know that that was never going to happen."
"She felt like she was losing because she was Jason. You were marrying someone else."
"No matter who I'm with, Carly will never lose me."
"That's a pretty bold statement for someone who just proposed to someone else."
"Look, Sam understands how important Carly is to me."
"Really? Is that why you gave Carly the boundaries speech?"
"Sam deserves to be a priority in my life."
"Sure she does. But can you honestly say that you can make her a priority like she deserves? Face it Jason, no matter who you're with, Carly will always be number one. And the same is true for her."
"Broccoli. Morgan, you little liar. Oh, great. Okay –
Oh, my gosh. Okay, all right. Oh, no. This isn't - oh, God, it's not working. This is wrong. Okay - no, this is wrong. It's not working!
Go away, okay?"
"Carly, please."
"How am I supposed to do this?
Okay, I - I need you to go to the ballroom and tell Jax that I'm not going to be able to go through with this; I'm not going to be able to make it. You need to tell him that –"
"No, no, stop, stop. Stop, okay? When Sonny left Brenda at the altar, I was the one who had to carry that message. I can't do that again. So if you are going to bail on Jax, you need to do this face to face."
"I don't want to bail on Jax. I love him, I do. I love him, but I love Sonny, too. And Jax - he's so wonderful, Jason, and he deserves to have a wife who loves only him."
[...]
"You are really are my best friend, you know that?"
"You're mine, too. Can we go now?"
"How do I look?"
"You look beautiful."
"I can do this. You know, I'm going to do this, and we're going to make it on time. Well - unless you want to elope with me instead?"
[...]
"It's my wedding day, and I get whatever I want."
"And why should today be any different?"
"Dance with me."
"I don't - Carly, you know I don't like to dance. I already said no to Sam and Bobbie and Alexis. I don't want to dance."
"They're not me. They're not me, and you know what? It's my wedding day, you're my best person, and you can either go in there and make a long, lengthy speech - which I know you don't want to do - or you can come dance with me. Excuse me."
"Thank you."
"You didn't give me much choice."
"I'm not talking about the dance. Thank you for being my best friend, letting me steamroll into your life and making, well, some would say "ridiculous demands" on you."
"Mm-hmm. Any chance that's going to happen less often, now that you're married to Jax?"
"You would hate it if I didn't need you, and you know you would. I love Jax, but I'm still going to need you to catch me when I fall."
"I'm not going anywhere."
Carly's wedding to Jax. He remembered that day very well. Carly had looked so happy and he had been genuinely happy for her. All he ever wanted was for Carly to find the happiness she deserved, even if he couldn't be the one to give it to her.
As much as he hated to admit it, Brenda was right. Carly would always be number one no matter what. She was a part of him and he needed her as much as she needed him.
"You both need each other even when you're with other people. That goes way beyond friendship Jason."
"Brenda it's not..."
"That simple, I know. Do you ever get tired of repeating the same thing over and over? No it's not simple, it's messy and complicated but it's real Jason. What you and Carly have, it's as real as it gets. You two are perfect for each other."
Jason looked at her like she was crazy. He loved Carly but he couldn't believe that Brenda was actually standing there telling him that Carly was perfect for him.
"Don't you give me that look, I happen to have proof," she said with a satisfied smirk as she hit a few buttons and they were suddenly transported to Jason's office.
"It only validates what I've known for years. Don't know why I needed the internet."
"Yeah, it is Carly, Bernie. Good guess. I - I'll call you back."
"You know, I should have known better than to even consider doing the internet thing, but it was better than watching Jax on that stupid –"
"You know what, Spinelli was trying to help you out in his own – "
"It was a total disaster. You should have seen the men that e-mailed. I'm pretty sure one was Scottie Baldwin. When all along, there was one man that matched up 24 out of 25 times on the compatibility quiz."
"So who was the poor guy?"
"You."
" According to this online dating program, you and I are soul mates."
"I told Spinelli I didn't anything to do with this."
"Oh, don't get mad at him. I'm sure he just did it because he cares."
"No, he did it because he does whatever Maxie wants him to do."
"Spinelli knows you well enough to give you an accurate profile. Out of 25 compatibility points, there's only one where you and I don't match. Guess which one?"
"Go ahead, Jason, guess how we're not compatible?"
"No, thanks."
"It's fun. Guess how we don't match?"
"You talk all the time and I don't."
"True. But that means we're compatible. It would be a disaster if we sat there and stared at each other, just in silence."
"Well, maybe we should try that right now."
"Oh, come on. Guess again."
"You have a real problem with logic."
"And you are a linear thinker. Again, perfect balance. Right here."
"You make stuff up all the time."
"If that's your way of calling me a liar, I'm going to try not to be offended. Although true. Whereas, you are incapable of anything but the truth, which is why you don't say much. Again, a way we are perfectly matched. The chart says it right here. In all the areas we're supposed to be alike - let's see, risk taking, physical activity, personal loyalty - we match on every level. There's only one place we don't match."
"I don't care. And I don't want to hear it."
"Yes, you do."
"No, you can keep talking as long as you want. I'm not going to listen."
"Exactly."
"What?"
"We're stubborn. I know I'm right. You think you are. Right there is why we can never be in a romantic relationship."
"Agreed."
"We would constantly clash because each of us thinks we know best. It's sad when you think about it. If it weren't for your tiny little personality flaw, we would be a perfect match."
"So you see. You're perfectly compatible."
"Uh were you not paying attention?"
"Ok so you're almost perfect. It's more than most people get."
"Seriously, didn't you hear anything? Carly and I both agreed that we could never be in a romantic relationship."
"Oh please, if you really believe that Carly was serious about not wanting to be in a relationship with you, you're dumber than I thought you were."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Come on Jason, you know that she's just waiting for you to give her the slightest indication that you're serious about being together. But if you keep blowing her off and making light of the whole thing like you did just then, she's going to get tired of waiting around and you'll both end up miserable."
"Carly's not waiting around for me Brenda."
"Isn't she Jason? Aren't both of you? I mean don't you think there is a reason that none of your other relationships ever work out?"
"You're really pulling out all the stops aren't you?"
"It's about time somebody made you see the truth. Do you even realize how lucky you are to have someone like Carly in your life?"
"You sure you're feeling okay?" he asked as he reached out to touch her forehead.
"You know what I mean Jason," she said rolling her eyes at him and batting his hand away. It was no secret that her feelings for Carly were less than complimentary but she couldn't deny how important she was to Jason or how much she made him happy.
"I know. I'm sorry. This is all a bit weird that's all."
"Tell me about it. Now as I was saying, you're really..."
"Lucky to have Carly in my life. I know."
"Do you really? Because I think you need a reminder."
"You're lucky there's no one like you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, you're lucky that you never have to look at someone and realize they're about to make all the same stupid, big mistakes that you made. And that's how I feel every single time I look at Lulu. She is mad as hell at her parents, and she has every right to be. She feels abandoned and she's ready to explode, and she doesn't have a best friend that's going to tell her to stop and count to 10 before she does anything stupid. Not that that always works, because I do that and I still go and do what I want."
"Yeah. Usually people need more than 10 seconds."
"Yeah, well, I'm not most people."
"No kidding."
"She has this boy that she likes, and she's lied to get him, and she's afraid that the truth is going to come out and she's going to lose him. But I didn't lose you, and you stood by me, so here comes the question - have you ever asked yourself why?"
" No."
"Well, I am because I really need to know."
"I guess because you would never go away. Really. I mean, when I got mad at you or you walked out on me, you would - you know, you would always show up again. Most of the time you needed something. But sometimes I - I really needed you. You know, all the other stuff - the lies, the crazy plans, everything else - that's just something I have to put up with. But when things are bad, Carly, the way you stand up, the way you don't quit on me or anyone else you love, that's - that's what I get in return."
"Do you ever regret helping me?"
" Oh, do you really want me to answer that?"
"No, you can't - you can't be like that because I'm telling you how great you are and I'm thanking you."
"Well, I - I don't always agree with, you know, the things you do, and sometimes you're just wrong. But, no, I don't regret helping you."
"You know, there's times that I look at you and I think that we should be together. Then I think, no, because I need this. I can't lose you. So I'm going to settle for just being your friend. I just hope Lulu can find someone who gives her half of what you've given me."
"That's a poor guy."
"You were lucky to have me."
"I know."
He never regretted helping Carly. He only had one regret where she was concerned and he was finally starting to realize that he really needed to do something to fix it or he was going to spend the rest of his life regretting it.
The sound of a soft sniffle startled him out of his thoughts.
"Are you crying?"
"What? No. Shut up." she snapped back at him while quickly dabbing at her eyes.
"I just think it's sad that you and Carly have a really really great thing going and you're just wasting it. You know I really hate to repeat myself but if it's the only way to get through your thick skull...well I don't have a choice now do I?"
"Trust me on this one, life does not hand you endless happiness. You need to grab it while you can."
"Look, just –"
"I know, I know you think I'm spoiled and I'm self-centered and that I don't know anything. And actually, you're right, but I do know one thing for sure. Life is too short to not be happy. And did you know that, out of everyone I've ever met, you deserve it the most.
"Go ahead and hug me."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"You know I still mean that right? You deserve to be happy more than anyone I know. So could you please do me one last favour?"
"What?"
"Will you please just let yourself be happy? Stop worrying about everyone else and be just a little bit selfish. You've earned it."
"Okay."
"Really?"
"Yes. So is this it?"
"Actually, I do have one more thing to show you. Just in case you talk yourself into thinking that Carly doesn't feel the same way you do.
"Now you're not going to remember this because it happened not too long ago and well you're out cold so..."
"You're gonna be ok. I know how strong you are, and you've been through a lot more than this over the years. This time it's my fault, though. I'm so sorry that I dragged you out in that storm to help me find Josslyn. And I wish I could say that it made a difference, but it didn't, because she's still missing and I'm still terrified. See how much I rely on you? You're unconscious and you're still calming me down. Sam's right. I rely on you too much. You know, she asked me, why does it always have to be Jason? And it...you're all I have. You're the only person that I can really count on. I know you love Sam, Jason, and I'm happy that you're gonna marry her. Well, I'm happy that you're happy. I am. I just, um...well, you need to know that I'm always gonna need you. You know? I'm always gonna be a part of your life. You're stuck with me. I just...can't stand the thought that my needing you is what caused all this."
"It's not her fault. She didn't cause this. You have to get me out of here. I need to tell her that it's not her fault; we need to go find Josslyn. You have to get me out of here, Brenda. Now."
"Hey, hey, hey, calm down okay. Everything is going to be fine. Look, I'm probably not allowed to tell you this but Josslyn is fine. She's home and she's safe. So you can relax okay."
"Good. Thank God she's okay."
He wasn't sure he would have been able to live with himself if something had happened to Josslyn. He took a few breaths and to calm his racing heart but that didn't seem to help much. He felt strange; tired and keyed up at the same time. His vision started to blur and he suddenly need to sit down.
"Jason we're running out of time"
"What?" he asked as Brenda's voice started to grow more distant.
"It's almost time for you to go back. But before you do, just remember that most people spend their entire lives looking for that one person who's going love them and be there for them no matter what; someone who will always be on their side even when they're wrong. You and Carly have that in spades, don't take it for granted. You owe it to yourself to give it a real chance, Jason. You both owe it to each other. I can't promise you that everything will work out but I can guarantee that you will both regret it if you don't at least try."
"Jason, please wake up. I begging you please. I can't do this without you. You have to wake up."
He heard her voice as his eyes fluttered open and he smiled a little. He should have known she would be there waiting for him. She always was.
"Oh Jason! Thank God you're awake," she said as she threw her arms around his neck being careful not to hurt him.
"I was so afraid that I was going to lose you; that you wouldn't come back to me."
"I'll always come back to you Carly. Always."
THE END