Well I think this story will be very long winded. I also wanted to make it longer and start from the beginning because the series its self is so good, I didn't want to miss loads out. I want to involve as much as I can about the series and then add additional story lines.
The characters and story line belong to the amazing Tony Grounds and the BBC.
Chapter 1
15 October 2013
During this afternoons drill, I was told to report to the OC Major Brice. The jammy bugger was sat in the 4x4 with a cuppa whilst we were freezing our tits off out in a field. As soon as I was told to report back through my head set, I thought it would be something I had done wrong through the drill.
"Bit cold out there, isn't it?"
"Yes sir, taytors, sir." I try to slow my breathing down so I can talk. What is this about?
"You'd better go and pack your sun cream. You're off to Afghan and its 47 degrees."
After a little chat, it turns out I will be replacing a medic from two section who gained an injury from falling off the climbing wall of the assault course. Anyway, I'm off to Af-bleeding-ghan. Who would have thought, a girl with no qualifications is off to Afghanistan and hopefully have the chance to save lives.
I have just the night to spend with my family and then I am to report to Brize Norton at 1100 hours. My mum was emotional when I told her that I was going on a 6 months tour. I have to keep ensuring her that I will be safe, that I will be home before summer. Dad is nowhere to be seen, he's probably off down the pub with a pint in his hand.
For my last night at home, I order a dominos. I need to treat the little brats before I go. I know I will miss them even if they are a pain in the backside. Besides, it's not very often they are treated to takeaways with money being tight, one now and then won't harm right?
16 October 2013
Well todays the day I get on a plane for the first time, I leave England for the first time. I am heading into a war zone and I cannot believe how excited I actually am. Mum is the only one awake so I give her a hug and a kiss and head off to Brize in the taxi.
I will be attached to 2 section with Corporal Kinders and Captain James. I have never heard nor seen neither of them, I suppose I should make good first impressions.
I check in showing my passport and my name is called.
"Private Dawes."
"Yes Corporal."
He leads me out onto the platform where the sections make up the platoon. I am with 2 section and get told to join them for a photograph.
I dump my bags and join the second row. I look around and all these lads are well taller than me. I look like a bleeding elf! That's when Mr almighty comes out.
"How long does it take for you massive cockwombles to get ready for a bloody photograph?"
I let out a little laugh, he looks at me scowling.
"What you laughing at medic?" Oh shit, well done Dawes. Make good first impressions has soon gone out of the window.
"Cockwombles sir." Oh shit. Just keep your mouth shut, this is getting embarrassing.
He goes on about if I can't cut it as their new medic, he has no hesitation in lobbing me out of a plane. Great. I haven't been here more than 30 minutes and I have made myself look a right muppet. And as for this bloody Captain, I had better not be the class clown. He's probably one of those men who doesn't think women should be soldiers, well, he has knocked me down a few pegs.
We gather inside before taking off and guess who is bloody here? The twat I had a one night stand with at the back of an Indian takeaway, Smurf. I text him two days later and he hadn't replied.
He went on about how we were bound to meet up with us both being in the army. He's a tosser, he thinks he's god's gift and it turns out I will be joining his section. How the bloody hell has that worked out. Of all the sections I could have joined it was this one. One with a miserable posh snob of a captain and this Welsh wanker. I told him to not say anything to the lads, mentioning that I am trying to make good first impressions. He introduces me to the rest of the section and they are all young, well, my age really. I expected some to be older.
On the plane everyone is chatting and listening to music and I feel alone already. With this Captain being Mr womenshouldstayathome, how am I going to stay in Afghan for 6 months coping with his patronising ways? Surely it will get better.
Its bleeding hot here. I never knew what to expect of Camp Bastion, but I never expected it to be so big and so busy. We are loaded onto a bus to take us to our quarters. I have never been so hot, its got to be at least 40 degrees and it isn't even mid-day here. My eyes are heavy and I feel so drained.
We have to present ourselves to Major Beck.
"Welcome to Afghanistan…" he gives a speech about being at bastion for a few days of simulation and then we will be deployed on a mission.
"…You have a excellent Captain, here on his forth tour. So you will listen, follow his instructions to the letter." He carries on but I notice posh balls look my way and the Beck carries on. He really looks down on me!
After the big speech from Beck we are ordered to head to our sleeping quarters. We all choose our beds and then posh balls walks in.
"I'll be leading a PT session at 0530. Any of you helmets not on top form will get my new regulation combat boot six up your arses. Best recruit of Catterick, 1 pace forward.." And guess who posh balls favourite is? Blooding Smurf.
He goes on to ask if I passed geography at school. Does it look like I passed many GCSE's at school you muppet? He then asks Smurf who of course, has passed geography.
"Well, you can show our Doris where the female quarters are.." He comes up in my face to say this.. Yea, because I'm a bloody mind reader. He walks out and we all relax.
Smurf leads me to where I'll be sleeping, I'm bitter how I have just been embarrassed and call James a Rupert. Obviously, Smurf being his favourite storms off leaving me to find my own sleeping quarters. Nob.
After 45 minutes trying to find them, I walk in and set my kit on a bed. The girl next to me is called Jackie, she introduces herself and she is also a medic at Bastions hospital. We go out for food and end up cuing for pizza hut. I never expected anything like this to be here, it's impressive.
Sirens go off and another medic runs past.
"Six injured the MERT is bringing them in all medic personal report to the hospital. Jackie makes a run following the woman who had just informed us.
"c'mon."
"What me?"
"Your medical aren't ya?"
I begin to follow Jackie as we make our way to the hospital. I never knew what to expect but it was manic. There were doctors and nurses running around and pushing beds with injured soldiers. There was one man with his leg blown off just below the knee. I just froze, I didn't know what to do and made a run for it out of the hospital. We never had anything like this in training, they were all ex-soldiers in the drills. I make my way to the sleeping quarters and just lay on top of my bed and look at the roof of the tent.
I lay in bed at its gone past 0100 hours I have to be up for PT early and I still cant get what happened earlier out of my head. Jackie asks how I am and explains my training will kick in. it was the first time I had seen anything so it was kind of expected that I do it.
I manage to drift off, eventually.
17 October 2013
"Private Dawes.." Can he not wait to bleeding minutes.
"Private Dawes" I'd better show my face or he will probably embarrass me even more than he has. I duck under the tent door to see the whole of 2 section in full kit. No one told me it was full kit did they the wankers.
"Well, I suppose we had better be grateful that your not wearing you stilettos. Full kit Dawes." I go back in embarrassed. So the lads thought it would be funny to make me look like a right muppet. Thanks, I'll remember that when your dying in a ditch you twats.
The 5k run in the heat as well as full kit was a killer. I struggled to keep up with the lads but had Brains supporting me and staying with me, that was nice of him I suppose. We ended the run with a 50 metre sprint and Mr posh balls decided to have Smurf on the floor pretending to have his leg blown off.
"Man down, left leg blown off above the knee, what ya gonna do?" He was actually shouting. I was still puffing out my arse and I hadn't set my med Burgan out properly and struggled to organise myself. Well I have just proven what a shit medic I am. He sends us all away for showers.
"He could have died just then." I'm doing a light jog and James is just at a walking pace. I don't respond, I've made a prize tit out of myself already.
"Please don't tell me we have the only medic who is afraid of the sight of blood." I wanted to tell him where to go. Somehow news got back to him about last night in the hospital. Things are just getting worse.
19 October 2013
Over the past few days we have been acclimatising and practised shooting out in the range. We have a briefing of the mission and where we will be staying. I have signed everyone off as fit during the medical examination. We leave for the FOB tomorrow morning. We also met our translator Qaseem, he seems a nice bloke, very quiet though. Well he will be compared to these bunch of idiots.
20 October 2013
We are all stood a few metres from the helipad where we will be transported to the FOB.
"In case any of you were wondering, this is the real thing. The next 6 months will define the rest of our lives. There will be moments on this tour that you will never forget, both good and bad…" He carries Saying its not about looking after number 1 but the rest of the section and bigs up the Army.
We are on the helicopter for over 30 minutes and land outside of the FOB. This is where it begins I suppose. Fresh start aye Molly. No more sarcastic remarks, no more making a tit out of yourself and keep your head down.