It had been a long time since Inuyasha had picked up on his brother's scent, three months actually. The whole idea of the situation made him nervous and his heart practically broke free of his ribcage in flight.
As Inuyasha walked toward the outskirts of the woods of Kaede's village, he fingered the golden bracelet he had tucked safely in his haori. Sesshomaru was moving rather slow compared to his normal speed, but Inuyasha couldn't complain. He needed a bit of time to piece together exactly what he would say. And he intended to get a bit farther away from the tiny village so no one would interrupt their meeting.
As he continued walking to the source of his elder's scent his thoughts began to roam to other things. What if Sesshomaru didn't like him the way Inuyasha liked him? What if everything he said about him being a half breed mutt was true? Could it be his brother really didn't care for him?
So lately, I've been wondering
Who will be there to take my place…
The doubt lingered but something inside himself insisted he go find out anyway. And what if Sesshomaru did truly love him? He couldn't just walk away without ever knowing, now could he? And his curiosity always got the best of him anyways.
Inuyasha sighed as the wind blew harshly against his back, meaning Sesshomaru could now catch Inuyasha's smell. He waited with baited breath to sense Sesshomaru's fading youkai, but it only came closer as time went by. So he sustained walking.
Inuyasha forced himself to calm down and decided to take in his surroundings instead of think about his brother coming near. It was in the afternoon and the sun was beginning to fall under the horizon casting lovely shades of blue, pink, purple, and orange painting across the cloudless sky. The trees leaned the way Inuyasha was walking, throwing leaves into his path of walking. They swirled around in a mini-tornado in front of him. And suddenly it all seemed so ironic.
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face…
The day had been a hot one, but it was warm now since the sun was disappearing. The grass seemed nice and soft under Inuyasha's tired feet as he trudged onward. He sighed as he realized he better stop in the clearing he was now in to wait for Sesshomaru to find him.
He sat lazily down on a rock to the side of the clearing and leaned back against a tree behind the rock. Needless to say he was relatively comfortable. And his mind again left his body drowning in all kinds of memories that he'd had with his brother. His eyes slid closed as he pictured the incidents.
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all…
Memory 1:
Inuyasha lay in the fields watching the stars twinkle overhead in a trance-like state. He loved to watch the stars. They were so bright and beautiful. It was sad to think that they only came out at night. One day he thought he'd like to catch one if he could make it possible.
The silver haired hanyou was surprised when he heard footsteps coming up from behind him, though he didn't need to turn around to know whom it was. In a few moments his brother stood next to Inuyasha's small sprawled out body. He said no words but only stared at the younger boy.
Inuyasha couldn't help but squirm under his intense gaze. And right when he was about to sit up and ask his brother about his actions, Sesshomaru's clawed arm extended to hold something in front of his face. He had to cross his eyes to see exactly what it was. When that failed, he took it from his elder's hand and brought the thing away from his face.
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own…
The first thing he noticed was the pain that shot through his finger tips which held what Inuyasha could now see was a fully bloomed red rose, from the gardens he presumed. He instantly dropped the flower to his lap and took his finger in his mouth on instinct. But his brother would have none of that.
He ripped a band of fabric from his expensive evening kimono and wrapped it around his brother's chubby fingers as a temporary bandage. After a moment of locked eyes, Inuyasha looked away and picked up the flower again. He looked it over carefully in his hands and decided that this present from his brother, the meaning of it, could possibly be even better than catching a star.
Memory 1 End:
The now older Inuyasha smiled at the thought of his childhood with Sesshomaru. They'd had such a close relationship then that ran deeper than most siblings'. Where had all that gone, he had to wonder. But not all their childhood memories were so innocent. Some things they had done then were completely out of line. And they never even got caught.
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go…
Memory 2:
A still young half demon breathed severely after such a long lasting kiss. He didn't know where this was heading, but Sesshomaru seemed to know everything about what they were doing. Inuyasha really had no clue what kind of sin he was partaking in.
"Brother? Will Mom and Dad be mad at us for this?"
"Of course not, but it's best you keep it from them…I want it to be our little secret okay?"
"Yes…"
Sesshomaru kissed a now naked Inuyasha again on the lips for the tenth time that night. He too had taken all of his clothing off and discarded it somewhere in his room. Initially his brother had come to him out of fear of childish nightmares, but he then found himself doing something other than comforting his brother. In a way he was, but in no means was it normal.
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday…
"Sessho…I don't know how to…um…" The younger faded off at the end in embarrassment.
"Shh…don't worry. Who better to teach you than your older brother?" Some sort of a grin adorned his face when he saw Inuyasha smile. "Now get ready because it will hurt okay? But it'll get better by the end. Trust me."
"I trust you." Inuyasha said with an even brighter smile. He leaned up and planted an angel's kiss on Sesshomaru's lips as the other proceeded in his doings. It was a long night.
Memory 2 End:
That memory was one Inuyasha would never forget. He wasn't really mad at his brother for doing that to him, but he didn't know exactly why he did it. He wasn't about to ask either. Sesshomaru might not remember it and think he was a pervert or something for remembering the night's activities. There was something else too. Something he'd never want to forget in a million years.
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days…
Memory 3:
The sky was still dark, but both boys knew that the morning would come soon. The two sat on the roof of their castle in the Western Lands clutching their kimonos to their bodies, along with holding each other for body warmth. It was New Year's Eve and the sons of InuTaisho were waiting for the sun to rise and make a wish.
It was Inuyasha's favorite time of year. He got to hope for another good year with his family. He then turned a bit to look at his brother. "So what are you gonna wish for?"
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all…
"I don't know really. Maybe a real sword instead of the fake ones father only lets me use. Maybe something else. What about you?" He said all this staring out at the horizon patiently.
"Hmm. I know what I'm gonna wish for, but I'm not gonna tell you." Inuyasha teased his sibling playfully. Sesshomaru them turned to face him incredulously.
"That's not fair." But that was all he said before jumping and almost falling off the high rooftop and killing himself before saying, "Look that suns coming up!" And pointing out toward the slowly rising sun.
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you…
Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut tight and clasped his hands together in an almost prayer. He knew what he would wish for and he hoped beyond hope that it would come true. It was the only thing he'd ever truthfully wanted in this world.
Sesshomaru stared out at the sun in thought before smiling and wishing upon the sun for New Year's. He too wanted his wish to become reality some day. His eyes softened as he turned to Inuyasha who had finished his wishing and sighed. "Let's go inside. The nannies are probably going into hysterics trying to find us."
He got up and grasped his brother's hands to help him up as well. The two climbed into the house through the window. Inuyasha slid the window closed behind him before he turned around to look at the sun one more time sadly and then drew the curtains.
Memory 3 End:
Inuyasha found it hard to make sense out of all of these fragments. Had Sesshomaru known all along of what he felt for him? He remembered his smile so well now. If only he smiled more often. It was such a pretty smile anyway.
His thoughts were drawn away from him then when he heard a voice above him say, "Inuyasha."
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go…
He snapped his eyes open and stared up into matching gold ones. For once, they didn't hold an icy glare. Instead, they looked a bit…kinder. Inuyasha hasn't seen him look like that in years. It had really been that long.
"Sesshomaru." Inuyasha said back. The sun had almost completely set now and shadows cast over each of their faces as they stared into one another's eyes. "We need to talk." His brother didn't argue at all. He only gave a curt nod and sat next to him on the huge rock.
"I…I really don't know how to feel about you anymore. Are you my enemy? A friend?" He paused for a minute to think. "My brother again?"
Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love…
This made Sesshomaru's eyes narrow as he stared at the trees ahead of him. "Inuyasha, we are enemies. I desire the Tetsusaiga and that is-" He was suddenly cut off then.
"No Sess! Don't give me that! I know it's not true." Inuyasha felt tears come to his eyes when he heard that they were foes to his own half brother. "You're not like that…"
He dropped to his knees on the ground in front of Sesshomaru, which made the other demon arch a long silver eyebrow. "I know you don't think of me like that. What happened to the way things used to be? Why can't we be like that?"
Inuyasha angrily tore the bracelet from his haori. "What about this?" He held it up for Sesshomaru to see. The elder's eyes widened as he stared at it. So Inuyasha did feel that way as well.
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on…
Sesshomaru said nothing as usual when he bent down to pull his brother into a loose embrace. "I missed you so much…" The lord trailed off then. "Inuyasha I know how I feel, but I can't…"
Inuyasha stared up at him with wide teary eyes. "Yes you can." Inuyasha buried his head into his brother's chest in an attempt to hide his face and for the fact that he wanted reassurance from him. "I…I've known ever since I was a child that…"
One of Sesshomaru's long slender fingers came up to silence Inuyasha's next thought before it came out. "I know…" He hesitated before he whispered something and pulled his brother close to him again. "Me too."
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time…
Inuyasha began to cry for some reason at this. But then again he knew that Sesshomaru felt the same way, but they could never be together. It couldn't work that way. They had already taken separate paths and they could never change it all to be with one another. In the embrace Inuyasha could hear Sesshomaru mumbling things like "If I could, I would brother…you know I would in a heart beat…" and "I'd never want you to leave me if I could control it…" His brother said these things as a shaky hand stroked his hair.
Sesshomaru then let go of Inuyasha and stood up slowly while saying, "You understand then?" And in return the other sibling only nodded to show his comprehension.
The elder then gave Inuyasha one of the greatest gifts he could ever give him. He smiled. Just for him and only for him. And Inuyasha smiled back just as sorrowfully. "Goodbye." Sesshomaru murmured just loud enough for Inuyasha to hear.
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go…
Inuyasha got to his feet quickly before Sesshomaru could take a step away and pulled him toward him. He kissed him full on the lips while wrapping his arms around his neck to keep his brother from getting away. Sesshomaru seemed to forget that he was about to leave, and kissed back with equal force and snaked his arms around his brother's waist pulling him even closer to his body.
When air became an issue the two let go, but stayed in close proximity of each other. Sesshomaru brought a hand up to caress Inuyasha's cheek slowly before bringing it away and jumping back into the woods in a flash of white.
Inuyasha touched his pink cheek tentatively before turning around to go back to the village. He'd see Sesshomaru again. And just because they could never be mates didn't mean it was the end of the world. He could still be happy in knowing the fact that Sesshomaru cared for him. And he was fine with that…mostly.
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go…
-PL
Oh damn it all. Another sad ending. But I'm glad I went over this trilogy, or whatever it is, and edited out all the mistakes. I liked these.