Trapped
Most of you think they know me. They think I'm one of the Delightful Children From Down The Lane. The one with blonde hair, a sailor outfit and a pink bow.
But that's false. That's what my body is.
Not my mind.
Because, you see, I have a little problem. Okay, no, a big problem. I don't control my body. It's a complete stranger, to the point that I don't feel anything when I get hurt. As if I was living in a metal cocoon. It might sound great, but it's not. Because I'm sentenced to be trapped forever in my body, unable to control it or even express my feelings.
Because of Father's Delightfulization Chamber, my body acts by itself, perfectly coordinated with the four others'. It has been ten years since I lost control. All I can do is observe what's going on around me. I can't talk, laugh, cry, or express myself in anyway.
It wouldn't be that horrible if, at least, this body I call mine acted more or less like I wished. But no, to make things a lot funnier, it does everything but what I want. All I ever wanted was to protect children, peace, my friends, you see. Yet all I do is tormenting my former mates, all I do is trying to making everyone's life miserable, all I do is prevent other ones to continue where I left.
Kinda ironic, huh ?
Every time I hurt someone, every time I'm mean, every time I break something, I want to apologize so bad. But I can't. Because my mouth won't obey me, moving in harmony with the other Delightful Children's. Because my tears won't flow, no matter how hard I want them to.
What you call "Blonde delightful girl" is not me. It's the most horrible girl I've ever seen. I am Ashley. But it's been ten years since anyone pronounced that name. So every day, I keep telling me : "I'm Ashley Anderson. Daughter of Stella Anderson and Timothy Anderson. I like children, I like sweets, I like reading comics."
And I keep on acting as the blonde girl without name, daughter of Benedict Uno, whose life is based on making others' a living nightmare, who hates children with all her rotten heart.
If you could only imagine all the efforts I put in pointless attempts to control my body again… it makes my want to cry sometimes. But I can't. I can't shout my anger and sadness, I can't rebel against Father, I can't end this madness. I can't even end my life.
Sometimes, I wonder how the others deal with this insanity. Maybe they're like me. Maybe their soul has been erased through the Delightfulization process. But I can't believe they enjoy it. No one would enjoy themselves as spectators of their own doings.
It's hard to be alone, too. I may be stuck to my four former friends twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year, but I don't think I've ever felt so lonely. I miss laughing with David, gossiping with Ogie, cuddling with Bruce, training with Lenny. I hate what we do now, as a "team". More like, as the most horrible and against nature thing that was ever created.
So I want to apologize. I want, I, Ashley Anderson, to apologize for all the Delightful Children ever did, and will do. I swear I'd do everything to stop this, if only I could.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I want to cry. But the blonde girl will continue to show the same dry, blue, evil eyes.
I hope you know me, Ashley, as much as you know the blonde girl, now. I hope that you can forgive her what she did, for I tried to prevent her from doing all of this…
I hope that someday, I'll break free from my prison.
Even though I know I'll spend the rest of my life –if it can still be called a life- trapped in this body which used to be mine.
My take on what could be Ashley's feelings. She's my favorite from the DCFDTL :) Feel free to spot any language mistakes, as English isn't my mothertongue (French is !) I hope you enjoyed that short fic. Feel free to review and/or favorite ;D ~ Maple Princess
Disclaimer : the characters are Mr. Warburton's propriety.