Friday, August 24

8:00 pm

Girls Locker Room

My name is Rika. I have long brown hair and emerald green eyes. People pass me on the streets, and think I'm a pretty girl and must be so happy, but they're so wrong. They can't see into me. They don't know anything about me. You don't know anything about me.

So much has happened to me, if I told you, you wouldn't believe me. Everything about me, is a monster. I was born a monster. I know. But, I still have a heart. I can try to be different from all the other diclonius'. I know there are others, because I've seen reports on TV. Every now and then I can also feel their presence. The most famous and of the diclonius serial killers goes by the name Roy; he's one of the very few male diclonius. He has short brown hair and brown eyes, and he's only sixteen. He's said to be very attractive, which causes all of female victims to trust him and sometimes be led away from plain sight, to which he kills them in the most violent gory ways. No one has ever gotten a video of him killing his victims, because he never does it out in the open. And, he only kills one person at a time. He never lets anyone else see. Ever. That makes me think sometimes that he has a heart. But… I know he doesn't. The only way people know his name is because of witnesses that didn't get carried off some other place by him. No one has ever gotten a picture of him, because when someone ever does, he destroys the camera, and then picks the person up, carries them into the shadows, and kills them. There's been some drawings of him, but I don't think that he looks exactly like any of his drawings. So if I just saw him on the street one day, I don't think I would recognized him. I think that is because he wants his victims to be unaware that he's a serial killer, so he can surprise them. He decided the wrong path. He's been on the news for about 2 months now, and no one has caught him yet. And even if they ever did, he would just escape. He would just kill everyone, like he always does.

Diclonius have the choice to be bad or good, just like humans, even though we do have a voice in our head that tells us to kill people. But humans get angry too, and they wish that some people are dead too. So it's just normal emotions. But the scary thought is, is that I could kill someone instantly, and I could continue to kill, like Roy, and never get caught. I could have some fun and torture people. I could be sadistic, like Roy. I could join him, and give into the voice in the back of my head. He is very handsome, and we could stay together. I mean… I have no one else anyway. I don't really live anywhere. I've thought about all of this… but I've decided to say no to all of it. It isn't right. Humans are just like me, and him, and all the other diclonius. I don't see why they don't all see that. I've never met another diclonius in my life, but sometimes I wish I would meet one. Another diclonius, another person just like me. Another person that has decided that killing humans is wrong. We would be able to help each other, because humans couldn't ever really understand what we're going through. It hurts… it hurts to be one of us, so much. So much that we need someone else to be there The emotion pain would kill a normal human. It would swallow their heart whole, and tear apart their soul. It's more of just we were born pained, other than tragedies happened. But still, worse things have happened to us than any human.

I'm getting transferred this year, into a school named Snow Middle School. This city that I live in is titled Snow, so that's why it is named that. I'm going into the 8th grade. I'm being transferred because my old school didn't really like me that much because I would never take off my hat. I told them I had a bald spot, and I told them that my hair was dyed and growing back my natural color. I tried everything, but they wouldn't believe me. So, I started having to do sparkle everyday for it, because it was breaking school rules. Sparkle is when you have to clean the tables after lunch, and you usually end up late to class. Then your teacher after lunch thinks you don't take her class seriously, because you're late everyday, so you turn out to be the one she picks on every day and blames everything for. She was fat, had short brown hair, and had green eyes. She was so annoying, but everyone else seemed to like her because she'd always gang up on me. What happened with her two years ago… was an accident. I didn't try too. I wasn't aware of my power, okay? No one was positive it was me, anyway. The teachers and police didn't even consider the thought that I might have been the one that killed her. It seemed as if she just got cut in half by a ghost or something. I still remember the blood and frightened look on everyone in the class, including me. I was so mad at her, because she was blaming me that everyone was talking, when I wasn't even talking myself. She said I got everyone excited again, but I didn't do anything. She told me everything was always my fault, and all the kids in my class agreed. My anger towards her had been building up and building up for so long, like a balloon filling up with air. When it finally became too large, it popped. My vectors just shot out, and I didn't think that… that I could actually… kill someone with them.

After that incident, everyone thought the school was haunted, and that a ghost killed her. The school was closed for two weeks, for investigation and clean up. Every single parent was worried. So this year, I'm finally going to be able to start over, and forget what happened. It won't be the topic of discussion still, as it always was, even after two years. Everyone would always tell the new kids, and they said they I did it somehow. They said I was a witch, and I put a curse on her that said she would die. Even though the incident was on TV, it didn't include anything about me. I remember when they were interviewing students for the report, one of them talked about me, but the reporter simply said, "That's not possible, sweetie," and stopped the camera, "We have to go now." They didn't include that kid on TV, and everyone was talking about how they didn't show her the next day.

When I went to that school, I used to live in the girls locker room. I didn't have another place to stay. I bought this grey squishy thing at the store. If you press down on it, it stays like however it was indented forever. So, one day the coaches left out their keys, and I pressed the front and back of the main one on the squishy thing. The same day, I went and got a key made. The guy that made the key name's is Chris, and he's pretty cool. He's eighteen years old, and he helps me out however he can. He has short spiked forward brown hair and blue eyes. I met him at a grocery store, when I was asking a cashier if he knows anywhere I can get a key made along time ago, while I was in 4th grade. That time it was for the library, which is were I lived until police started guarding the library at night. Chris interrupted me and the cashiers conversation, after the cashier had said, "No, I don't know anyone." Chris said that he could get it made for me. He didn't care that I was kind-of breaking into somewhere. He said that he knew a place, and he said that the guy that makes them is his friend, so they're free for him. We had become friends after he had made the first key for me. When we first met, we just kind of clicked, sort of like Eric and me, but as friends. He knows my secret because in the middle of summer, it was really hot one day, and I just took my hat off. It was quite embarrassing for me, actually. I was so stupid that day I wasn't even thinking. I guess the heat was killing my brain cells, too. He just had a shocked look on his face, and I lifted my hand to the top of my head, and I felt my horn. He said that I don't scare him. Since then, he's been buying me food, and buying me clothes, and just things I need. He worked at Sonic, but didn't get a lot of money. He actually worked on skates, so he could get more money to buy things for me too! He thinks that I've gotten old enough now to go get the things I need by myself, so starting since the middle of the summer, he's been just giving me money. It's kind of like he's my dad or older brother. I can't stay with him because he still lives with his mom, but he told me if he had his own apartment that I could live with him. We don't like each other at all, because own age's are so far apart, and we just feel like siblings.

Over the summer, I stayed still in the girls locker room. Before fourth grade, after mom and dad died, I just stayed on the streets, and worked some for food and clothes. But, I still had to go to school everyday.

My new school will be normal, and I'll try to fit in. I'll make friends, and I'll try to be happier. I'll finally get to leave this place were everyone hates me. School starts in three days. The school is supposed to be very nice and polite, but we don't wear uniforms or anything. It's just like my old school, but the students and teachers there are said to be nicer and kinder. I can't help but wonder if there will be a boy there, a boy I can go out with sometimes. Someone maybe to love, because that's what I've always dreamed about. I always hope that there is just one boy, just one heart, that will understand me, and that I'll be able to tell everything to.

I tried the whole boyfriend thing in seventh grade, but it didn't work out. His name was Eric, and I was able to tell him my secret. My best friends name was Sarah, and we had known each other ever since fourth grade. She understood me, and we used to tell each other everything. Her trademark was he lemon smelling perfume, which, every day, to everyone else's opinion she wore to much.

One day, Eric was supposed to meet me at this Snow Café, but he was an hour late. It was just a very quite peacefully place sometimes kids would hang out after school. All the booths and tall chairs at the little bar were covered with glittery shiny leather-like fabric. He finally arrived. I asked him were he had been, and he told me that his mom hadn't gotten home yet, so he didn't have a ride. I asked him why he didn't call me, and he said because he's grounded. "Okay," I told him, "Just make sure you have everything planned out next time." I recognized something about him, but I thought to myself, 'Oh it couldn't be.' But I rethought 'But I better just make sure.' I lifted his hand, and smelled it. At that time, I was speechless. How could this happen? How could this be?

"How could you do this?!" I screamed in the café as I slapped him.

"What are you talking about?!" He screamed back as he got back to normal after the extremely hard slap.

"You smell like lemon! Tell me it isn't true!!!" I knew that they had been becoming closer and closer, but Sarah had told me that they were just friends.

"I'm sorry, it is." I stormed out of the café with tears. I wanted to kill him right there, but I knew I couldn't do it. I wouldn't. I loved Eric, but he didn't love me the same way. He loved Sarah, and Sarah loved him. How could either of them do this to me? I never wanted to see them again, as I never did. I hate both of them, I don't still love Eric. I hope that they burn in hell together, as they should. The two closest people to me, lied to me, cheated on me. Just completely… destroyed me. That's why I've been afraid to try to love again, or make new friends. It hurts when they're not nice to you, a lot more than anyone might just think. It's one of things were you have to feel it, you can't imagine what it feels like. Just like death. You wonder how sad you would be if someone died, and you might think that you'd be really sad, or that you wouldn't miss them at all. But the thing is, if you know them, even if you're not close to them, you will cry. No matter what you think. You can't just imagine it. And, when I even think about someone close to me dieing, like Chris, I get teary eyed. In my mind it's like he's dead, but I remind myself that he's still alive. When I play things out in my head very detailed, it's like it really happened, but it didn't. I have a large imagination, so I'm in the clouds a lot.

When I'm sad, sometimes I escape to my own little world. It doesn't have a name, it's just in my head. I'm the queen, and a boy I made up by the name of Dustin is the my king. It's strange because he's my imaginary friend, but he seemed to come to life. When I talk to him in my head, he just talks back. I don't have to think about what he's going to say back, it just pops into my head. He's helped me out a lot, because I really don't have friends. It's even better than talking to your teddy bear because he can go every where with me. And recently, I've been seeing him in my dreams. In my latest dream of him, I was with him in some place, where I was on the top bunk and he was on the bottom. He asked to come up, and I told him he could. He asked me how I liked it here, and I told him, "I don't know… none of this seems real."

And then he said back, "Does this feel real?" As he was about to kiss me, I woke-up. I tried to go back to sleep so it would get continued, but I couldn't. I wish so much that he was real. I have a notebook that Chris bought for me that I write him in, but usually I just talk to him in my head or out loud. Writing takes a lot of time, especially if a lot of things happened. A lot of the time, I actually believe that he's out there, waiting for me. Actually hearing me and crying for me, missing me, even though we've never met each other before, as I do all these things for him. He's my best friend, one of the only things I have left. Chris is really my only friend.

Dustin is very special. He has black flippy bangs emo hair, and brown eyes. He's 13, my age, and very serious. He's proper, polite, kind, quite, and shy. He's my height, 5'8, and usually has a straight face. I love him, and he loves me. Sometimes I think that maybe he's near by, and my diclonius telepathy sense that is making both of us hear each other, but I can't sense where he is, so I don't think that's the case. I can feel a diclonius near by, but I've never gone and looked for them. And besides, they must be nice, so I'm going to leave them alone. I can't sense where they are, anyway. I never can. I can only feel that they are near by. Plus, they would wear a hat or something just like me, and a lot of people wear hats. During the summer because of the heat, to keep the sun out of their face, and during the winter to keep them warm. The hat I wear all the time is a winter hat. It's very fitted around my head, and my brown hair kind of falls into my face. I enjoy this hat because I like emo, gothic, and punk stuff. It's completely gray. I have three pair of pants and three shirts right now. I kept them in my PE locker. I have two pair of jeans, and one pair of shorts. I have one black shirt, one white and gray stripped shirt, and one gray shirt. Chris managed to buy them for me.

In three days, things will all change. My life will be completely different. Things will go up hill, I pray. Until then, I shall continue to keep living, and try to keep my head lift up high. I can't wait.

Authors Note:

Hey, so sorry everyone I just sort of blabbered on about nothing in this chapter! Well hey, at least it turned out long! That was my main goal! I promise that the rest of the story will hopefully not be so boring! I just wanted to get the characters and mood set and stuff. Hope everyone will continue reading!

I didn't write a description for the school, library, or girls PE room, because I want you (all the readers) to picture it as your school, library, or area!

By the way, some of this story is real… So let me tell you what parts are! I was never cheated on by my boyfriend, but he did go out with my best friend, which made me every upset. I do have an imaginary friend named Dustin, laugh at me or not. The dream really happened, and that's all I can think of right now that has really happened. Oh yah! And I really don't have that many friends, -other than my internet friends and very distant friends Sandy, Ryan, Andrea, and Victoria.- I don't even think they like me that much. And at Sonic, if you skate, you really do get more money! I'll have the next chapter up very, very soon! Oh yah and thanks to Marvin Burshik for inspiring me! His Elfen Lied FanFic is awesome! An by the way, when I say diclonius, that includes silpelits too!

Well anyways adios! Until next time!

Ai Zutto! (Love Always)
Kimi♥