Author's Note: Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic ever. I'm currently editing parts of it, mostly spelling and grammar. You should know that English isn't my first language, so please forgive any mistakes. (That's why I'm editing it. I hope to think that my English has become a bit better while writing fanfiction.)
Summary: This story is an AU starting at the end of Episode I. It moves on through Episode II and III and ends in the time between III and IV. I can't tell you what exactly I have altered because that would give away too much of the plot. I'm just going to tell you this:
Qui-Gon does not die in Episode I. How could this happen? Well, it's easy: Darth Maul does never interfere in Episode I. So Qui-Gon takes Anakin as his Padawan and from there on things are slightly different. It is not an adventure story. That means: less podraces, less extended space battles, more emotions…
This is a story about Obi-Wan and Anakin and – as the title implies – Qui-Gon takes also part in it.
Supporting actors are (in the later chapters): little Luke (and a bit of Leia), Darth Sidious, Yoda, Beru.
Special (but little) appearance by: Mace Windu, Ferus Olin, Siri Tachi, Ki-Adi Mundi.
And Padmé. But she is a special case.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Everything recognisable belongs to George Lucas. I don't intend to make money with this story.
Chapter 1
"Alright. Then I will train him myself. I will take Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan-Learner under my care."
Obi-Wan froze. Qui-Gon's words hit him like the blow of a laser-whip. He could not believe what he was hearing. How could Qui-Gon do this to him? For already more than ten years he had been training Obi-Wan. And now he was just shoving him aside. Because of some stray boy, who, by coincidence, had more Midi-Chlorians than Obi-Wan.
I am not good enough for him, it seems.
"One student you already have, Qui-Gon," Yoda objected kindly. "Impossible to take a second one."
"We forbid it," Mace Windu said darkly.
"Obi-Wan is ready," Qui-Gon explained.
Oh, suddenly I am? That's a bit of a surprise.
"I am!" Obi-Wan agreed heatedly. "I am ready to face the trials!"
"Ready you are so early? What do you know about being ready?" Yoda reprimanded gently.
Of course Obi-Wan knew that he was not ready at all, but at the moment that did not matter to him. He did not want to show Qui-Gon his disappointment and bitterness about his decision. More than anything else he did not want to plead like a little child in order to be allowed to stay Qui-Gon's Padawan. And he was not even sure anymore if he wanted to, after all Qui-Gon had done to him. Challenging, he looked at his Master. With some simple words Qui-Gon had destroyed Obi-Wan's hopes. He had destroyed their years of friendship. Friendship...Or was it just hypocrisy? You did not just shove aside a close friendship as Qui-Gon had done it.
"Obi-Wan is headstrong and he still has much to learn about the living Force," Qui-Gon explained to the Council, "but he is an able man and there is hardly anything left he can learn from me."
I see, I am an able man, but apparently not good enough for you. Not the perfect Padawan. Not the Chosen One.
"We ourselves decide on who is ready, Qui-Gon. More to learn he has," Yoda insisted.
Obi-Wan was more and more fed up with hearing again and again how much he still had to learn. It was alright if it was Qui-Gon who said it to him. In private. But here, in front of the whole Jedi Council…
"I would like to take the trials," he said and forced his voice to sound calm. "If I fail, it is the proof that I am not ready."
"Hmm… something true in your words is, Obi-Wan." Yoda exchanged a glance with Mace Windu. The latter nodded.
"We will discuss this as well as young Skywalker's destiny. Until we will have come to a decision, he is allowed to stay here in the temple."
"I will look after him," Qui-Gon said.
"So be it. May the force be with you."
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan answered the salute and bowed. The boy imitated them. Silently Obi-Wan followed his Master out of the Council Chambers. Anakin went alongside Qui-Gon and talked non-stop. Obi-Wan did not listen.
It was another shock to Obi-Wan to learn that Anakin was to move into his and Qui-Gon's apartment. Qui-Gon let the boy sleep in his bed and took the couch, which was much too small for the tall man. Obi-Wan could have offered his bed to Anakin, but he did not do it. Usually Obi-Wan meditated inside their quarters but he knew exactly that he would not be able to find his inner peace as long as he was in one room together with Anakin. So he left as fast as possible for the Room of the Thousand Fountains. The relaxed atmosphere, the ripple of the water calmed his agitated thoughts. Temporarily.
Arriving back at their quarters, he saw Anakin, who had made himself comfortable in one of the cosy armchair. In Obi-Wan's chair. So Anakin had already taken Obi-Wan's place in the truest sense of the word. Qui-Gon was nowhere to be seen.
"Get down there," Obi-Wan said harshly.
"What?" Anakin asked without turning towards Obi-Wan. He was focussing on a programme on Holo-Net. A live coverage of a pod-race.
"This is my chair," Obi-Wan said tensely.
"Oh, I see. Didn't know it." Anakin got up and looked around. "What about that one?" He indicated the second, bigger armchair. "Can I sit down there or is it Qui-Gon's?"
"Yes, that's Qui-Gon's." Self-evidently, Qui-Gon would allow Anakin to use his chair… "You can sit on the couch."
"Cool! That's bigger anyway!" Anakin let himself fall on the couch and sprawled himself luxuriously. "Damn, you Jedi are really lucky!" He grinned at Obi-Wan. "It's bloody comfy here, compared to Tatooine… Ey, wow, did you just see that, Obi-Wan? Cool, that's suicidal! Watch out, there's the repeti-" He stopped when Obi-Wan pressed hard on the remote control and switched off the live coverage. Anakin blinked slightly confused. "Why did you turn it off?"
"It is not proper for a Jedi to watch this sort of things."
"Is it?" The boy pulled a disappointed face. "That's stupid. And I never before had the chance to watch something like this and now here you have such a wizard unit and you don't even use it. Hey, wait, I'm not a Jedi yet, am I? Then I could watch it, couldn't I?"
"If the Council learns about this, all your chances of ever becoming a Jedi have passed."
Oh dear, Obi-Wan, now you already need to tell lies to a little boy in order to intimidate him, a small voice piped up from the back of his head.
"The Council don't need to learn about this," Anakin pleaded.
"But I will tell them," Obi-Wan contradicted derisively, "and they will not be very pleased with your addiction to pod-races." And a squealer you are as well.
Anakin looked at him, shocked. "Please don't tell them, because… because then they'll never allow me to become a Jedi."
"It would be much better that way," Obi-Wan said coldly.
"You won't do this, will you?! Obi-Wan, please!" Anakin begged.
That moment Qui-Gon entered the room. Immediately Anakin jumped up from the couch and ran to him. "Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan wants to tell the Council that I've watched pod-races! Please tell him that he mustn't do this!" Qui-Gon looked bewildered from Anakin to Obi-Wan and back. "I'm really sorry," Anakin sobbed, "but I didn't know. If I'd known, I'd never have done it…"
Qui-Gon kneeled down in front of Anakin and hugged the boy. "Done what? Known what? Ani, I don't understand a word." Obi-Wan stiffened. That all turned out terribly wrong.
"Watched the pod-race! I didn't know that Jedi aren't allowed to watch something like that," Anakin whimpered.
"Who, in the galaxy, told you that?" Qui-Gon asked.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes briefly.
"Obi-Wan," Anakin answered, "and I'm really, truly sorry, but please, Qui-Gon, he mustn't tell the Council! I don't know where else to go if they don't want me here…"
Qui-Gon frowned. "Obi-Wan told you that Jedi mustn't watch pod-races?"
Anakin nodded, his eyes full of tears. Obi-Wan shrank down under the look with which Qui-Gon measured him. He felt very stupid and it was like being a thirteen-year-old Padawan again. Qui-Gon turned back to Anakin.
"Then Obi-Wan told you some rubbish. There's a bunch of weird Jedi rules but one which forbids pod-races doesn't exist yet."
"But then…"
"Don't worry, Ani, you don't have to fear any consequences from the Council because of this. The only Jedi who is against pod-races is Obi-Wan. Probably because he has such a fear of flying. Such manoeuvres as are flown in pod-races make him nauseous." Qui-Gon grinned encouragingly at Anakin.
"Really?" Anakin grinned back.
Furiously, Obi-Wan bit his lower lip. Now Qui-Gon even exposed him in front of a nine-year-old boy!
"But, naturally, fear of flying is not a reason to tell such lies," Qui-Gon continued. His voice became harder when he proceeded. "Telling lies is what the Jedi Code forbids."
"I am sorry, Master," Obi-Wan forced out ashamedly.
"I am not the one to whom you must apologize," Qui-Gon retorted strictly.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. Why did Qui-Gon ask this of him? Why did he debase him like this? "Sorry." Obi-Wan nodded curtly in Anakin's direction.
Qui-Gon waited a little but when Obi-Wan did not say more, he rose to speak again.
"I have just seen the Council. They have decided that you may take the trials, Obi-Wan. Now, however, I wonder if you are really ready to do it. If you have the required maturity."
Obi-Wan pressed his lips together. His heart contracted painfully. These words hurt more than anything. Qui-Gon was disappointed of him. He doubted him. And he is probably right, the little voice from the back of his head chimed in again. The way he had acted towards Anakin today was certainly not worthy of a Jedi Knight. He had let his emotions, his jealousy manipulate him and he had been very unfair. It was hardly Anakin's fault. If Obi-Wan was to be mad at someone, then at Qui-Gon, at the most. But if he apologised to Anakin now (the earlier apology did not count, of course) Qui-Gon would not believe him anyway.
"The trials will take place in five days. You are to notify to the Council at sunset," Qui-Gon explained soberly.
Obi-Wan could do nothing but nod as an answer. Sadly, he stood up and went into his sleeping room. The last thing he heard was Anakin asking quietly, "And what about me?" and Qui-Gon answering, "The Council has granted me permission to train you if Obi-Wan passes his trials." Then Obi-Wan closed the door behind him and went to bed. His bed. For more than ten years now. And soon it would be Anakin's. For a tiny moment he seriously considered purposely failing the trials but he abandoned this thought quickly. You could not deceive the Jedi Council. Uneasily, he tossed and turned in bed. Qui-Gon and Anakin had turned on the pod-race-transmission again. Obi-Wan could hear the muffled voice of the commentator next door. He could not understand what Qui-Gon and Anakin were talking about; but their cheers about some suicidal flying manoeuvres pierced through his soul like toxic darts. Seldom had he lived to see Qui-Gon that frolicsome. A bitter thought sneaked into his mind. Had Qui-Gon been bored with him as his Padawan all those years? Did Qui-Gon need someone like Anakin with whom he could have fun?
The following days were one of the worst in Obi-Wan's life. He avoided Qui-Gon's and Anakin's company as much as possible. He got up early in the morning and looked for shelter in a quiet room in the Temple in order to meditate. The rest of the day he stubbornly practised lightsaber combat and other abilities he would need in his trials. He returned to their quarters late at night when Qui-Gon and Anakin were already fast asleep. To Qui-Gon he talked about nothing but the most necessary things. To Anakin he did not talk at all. The tension in the air was almost palpable. Then, at the morning of Obi-Wan's trials, everything erupted.
Even though Obi-Wan got up very early again, the other two were already awake as well. Both still dressed in their pyjamas, they were squatted next to each other on the carpet of the living-room. Qui-Gon was talking to Anakin in a quiet voice.
"…not reach out to the Force. You must let it flow through you and you must listen to it. Then you can direct it carefully."
Obi-Wan could not believe it: Qui-Gon was teaching Anakin how to meditate!
"Master," he said sharply.
The two of them whirled around and stared at him.
"Good morning, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said politely.
Obi-Wan ignored the salute. "You're teaching him in the ways of the Force. You are not allowed to do so," he said accusingly.
"I am still the Master and you are the Padawan," Qui-Gon responded calmly.
"But the Council forbade it!" Obi-Wan insisted.
"Then you'd better inform the Council right now," Qui-Gon said airily. "I'm going to go make us some tea. Why don't you two meditate a little bit more? I have a feeling that you both could use it." Qui-Gon disappeared into the little kitchen.
Undetermined, Obi-Wan looked down at Anakin. The boy wore much too large and much too warm pyjamas. He still looked quite sleepy and his much too long hair was in a mess.
"You are doing the trials today, aren't you?" Anakin asked friendly.
"Yes."
"I hope you'll do it."
"Why?" Obi-Wan asked, lurking.
"Because then Qui-Gon will be allowed to train me," Anakin told him light-heartedly. "These things about the Force and things are bloody interesting but I don't think Qui-Gon'll show me more until I'm his Padawan."
I am his Padawan! Obi-Wan wanted to scream but instead he just remained silent.
"Obi-Wan, why do you have fear of flying?" Anakin asked interestedly.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. That boy could really be a pain in the neck. "That's none of your business."
"Perhaps it would help if you watched a few pod-races. This evening there's one on Holo-net sports-channel. Or you go to the flying simulator here in the Temple. Qui-Gon said there's one for training here."
"Tell me, do you think I am stupid? It so happened that I have been living here for 25 years and I have been flying in the simulator about 25000 times. You needn't tell me what Temple training is like."
"Oh," was all Anakin said.
"And besides – no one ever said I had fear of flying," Obi-Wan added, annoyed.
"Yes, Qui-Gon did."
"And what if he's lying?" Obi-Wan asked testily.
"I don't think so."
"But you think that I am lying."
Anakin shrugged. "Are you gonna tell the Council that Qui-Gon taught me in the ways of the Force?"
"Yes, you know what? I will do that."
"Then you're either a liar or a squealer!"
"This has nothing to do with squealing! It's just the truth and Jedi are supposed to always tell the truth!"
"I know very well why you're so nasty towards me! Qui-Gon told me! Because you are jealous of me! Oh yes! Because Qui-Gon wants to train me instead of such a squealer like you!"
"So, that's what he told you?" Obi-Wan hardly realized that he was yelling at Anakin. He was blind with rage and hurt by the fact that Qui-Gon talked about him like that in front of a nine-year-old boy.
"You are jealous because I have more Midi-thingies and I will be a much, much better Jedi than you! Because I don't lie! And I don't squeal!"
"Now I tell you something! No matter how many Midi-Chlorians you have – you will never – never – become a Jedi! The Council has recognised this! You will never be a Jedi! Because you're already too tainted inside! Because you're a slave!"
An ominous silence spread after these words. Anakin was paralyzed. Obi-Wan was breathing heavily.
"Obi-Wan – out. Get out of here."
Obi-Wan whirled around. Qui-Gon was standing behind him. Fearfully, Obi-Wan wondered how much he had heard of the conversation. But that did not matter. The look with which Qui-Gon regarded him told him enough. Obi-Wan could not believe what he had just done – what he had said. He was regretting it already now. Not just because Qui-Gon had overheard it. Also because Obi-Wan, who wanted to be knighted soon, had let his anger reign him that much. And also because he had treated Anakin like that. Even if he could not stand Anakin and even if Anakin was impudent and cheeky and perhaps would really never be a Jedi, it was no, absolutely no justification to insult somebody as a "slave".
Obi-Wan wanted to say something but he could not. Silently, he left the apartment.
Obi-Wan went outside and grabbed a speeder. He raced through the Coruscanti traffic for hours and flew breakneck manoeuvres which would have made even Anakin struck in awe. When he landed at the Temple shortly before sunset, his legs were shaking and he felt very, very sick. Never again, he told himself.
Slowly, he made his way for the Council Chambers. Normally, it was a tradition that a Master accompanied his Padawan this last part of the way before the Padawan was on his own during the trials. The Master encouraged his apprentice and gave him some final words of wisdom. Obi-Wan would have to do without it. And he could not resent Qui-Gon's reaction. It was no one's but Obi-Wan's fault, he himself had squandered it. And there was no one whom he could blame for this. Least of all Anakin. I guess I owe him to pass the trials. Him and Qui-Gon.
His heart heavy, his head down, Obi-Wan walked through the long corridor.
Someone was standing outside the Council Chambers waiting for him.
Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan's heart welled up with joy. And shame. He stood still some steps away from Qui-Gon.
"Master… You have come." His voice sounded funnily hoarse.
"Of course I have come, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, smiling. "You think I'd give up our nearly thirteen-year-old friendship on one single day because of one single word? It's just a tradition but I want to go this way together with you, Padawan. And I wanted to call you Padawan one last time."
Obi-Wan looked down at the floor. "I don't think I am ready, Master," he said quietly.
Qui-Gon took a few steps towards him and laid both his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders.
"But I think you are ready," he said gently. "No, I know you are ready."
Obi-Wan swallowed. He had tears in his eyes. This meant more to him than anything else. Qui-Gon believed in him. It did not matter if he passed or failed the trials. This was more important. He lifted his head and looked Qui-Gon in the eyes.
"I am sorry, Master, for what I have done today. I am ashamed of myself. I will apologise to Anakin."
Qui-Gon nodded. "There certainly is something to be sorted out. But that's the future. Now you must focus on the present. Your little weakness. I've always thought it was your only one. Now I know that you have another weakness: Jealousy."
Obi-Wan smiled shyly. "I have many other weaknesses, Master…"
Qui-Gon smiled back warmly and squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulders briefly. "Focus, my Padawan," he reminded him gently.
"Yes, Master. I will not disappoint you."
"You have never done that. I am proud of having been allowed to train you."
Obi-Wan felt tears well up inside him yet again. "Thanks, Master." He swallowed. "Thank you for everything you have done for me."
Qui-Gon appreciated it with a small nod. "Time for you to go. I don't want you to fail your trials because of unpunctuality. That would be quite out of character from you… May the Force be with you, Knight Kenobi."
"Master-," Obi-Wan started to protest, half annoyed, half flattered, but Qui-Gon gave him a gentle prod towards the magnificent door of the Jedi Council Chambers.
"Go now."
Obi-Wan looked back one last time to see Qui-Gon smiling encouragingly at him. He felt his heart warm up and a deep peace spread inside him. Then he crossed the door.