New ship, new story. Let's do this!
A/N: I don't own anything you recognize blah blah blah...
A/A/N: Anorexia is a legitimate illness, I did not make it up. I would encourage anyone who knows someone suffering from it to support them as much as possible, as unfortunately some people do not have a happy ending like the one in this story.
A/N: For Jodie.
Am I really that Ill?
"Phil!" Chris cried, running across the room and enveloping his friend in a bone-crushing hug. Phil buried his head in Chris' neck, tears leaking down his cheeks.
Chris hushed him, falling to his knees as Phil collapsed below him, eyes already sore from previous crying.
Pj rushed over a few moments later, joining the hug and rubbing Phil's back in comfort.
"How is he?" The pale-skinned Northerner asked, holding Phil's face in his outstretched hands.
"Not fucking good, surprisingly(!)" Phil spat, and Chris and Pj shared a worried look. Phil rarely, if ever, swore.
"He weighs less than 6 stone!" Phil continued, "How did I never fucking notice?!"
"Oh Phil…" Pj sighed, he had thought his friend might say this, "It's not your fault!..."
"But it is Pj!" Phil interrupted, "What complete idiot doesn't notice when his best friend stops fucking eating?!"
Chris wordlessly pulled Phil to his feet and looked deeply into his eyes, shaking his head vigorously.
"It's. Not. Your. Fault!" Pj repeated, rising to his feet also. "We didn't realize either you know, though I can't deny that we are both idiots."
Phil blatantly ignored the joke and pushed Chris away. He still looked bitter, and tears were once more falling down his cheeks.
"Pj," He breathed heatedly, "Dan was slowly starving himself to death, and I only realized when he collapsed on the floor! I have shared an apartment with him for years, and I never realized he was fucking anorexic!"
Phil was now starting to cause a commotion in the hall of the hospital. Realizing this, Pj grabbed both his and Chris' arms and led them away.
xxxxx
A few minutes later, the trio had made their way to the hospital café, and were all sitting in the furthest table at the back of the room.
"Have you got any idea when we are going to be able to visit him?" Pj asked softly, as Phil clenched his coffee cup so hard it looked like it was about to explode.
"I dunno." Phil answered, expressionless. Chris hugged him again, and the raven-haired boy once more started to sob into his neck.
"I'm sorry," He wept quietly, "It's just so horrible seeing Dan look so pale, and weak…"
"Let it out," muttered Chris, hugging Phil even more tightly, "Just let it out."
Pj looked curiously at his Northern friend, astonished at his kindness and… overall tact. He had never seen Chris act so comforting.
He tuned back into the conversation,
"…lying there stiff as a board, most of his hair seemed to have fallen out. I'd only been gone a week; I doubt he'd eaten a thing for that entire time…"
Suddenly, Phil's phone rang. He pulled it out and looked at it, hiccupping slightly. Pj grabbed it before his friend could answer, and pressed accept.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is this Phillip Lester?"
"No, this is Pj Lingouri. I'm Phil's friend, I'm with him now."
"Well Pj, we are just calling to inform Phil that his friend Daniel Howell is now receiving visitors."
Pj stood up abruptly, causing his two friends to look up in confusion.
"Really? How many can visit him at a time?" Pj asked, mouth dry.
"We believe no more than two at a time would be best, as not to shock Mr Howell."
As Pj got directions to the ward that Dan was on, Chris and Phil shared a look. Chris was slightly worried at how Phil would react seeing his friend, he had barely stopped crying since he had delivered Dan to the hospital the previous night. He just wished he and Pj could have arrived there to comfort him sooner.
"Oh Thank you." Pj finished, hanging up the phone and passing it back to Phil.
"So," Pj looked inquiringly between his two friends, "Who's gonna go see him then?"
Phil opened his mouth to speak, but Chris clapped a hand straight over his mouth.
"No," he commanded, "You're going to see him, whatever. This is between me and Pj."
Pj looked at his friend again in astonishment as Phil blushed scarlet and crossed his arms in defeat.
"How on Earth did you know he was gonna say that?" He asked, astounded.
Chris rolled his eyes at him.
"Phil is the most selfless person on the planet." He explained exasperatedly, "Of course he'd say that."
Pj laughed. "Just for that, you can go with him." He grinned.
xxxxx
Phil and Chris made their way out of the café, leaving Pj to call Dan's parents, who were on their way to the hospital from their home in Manchester.
"So Phil," Chris asked, "Whereabouts is ward 37?"
"Ummmmmm…" Phil looked around for a while before finding a map of the building on the wall.
The pair of them began to walk up the long staircase to Dan's ward. When they reached the ward, and the curtain reading 'Daniel Howell', Phil paused, biting his lip in worry.
"Phil." Chris muttered, slipping his hand over his friend's comfortingly, "It's fine, c'mon."
Phil nodded and pushed open the door.
xxxx
"Dan?" Chris whispered, his heart seeming to have stopped.
Sitting on the bed, wrapped in the familiar thin, gown worn in a hospital, was Dan. But he looked… so… unwell, was the only way Chris could put it.
He was pale, seeming almost transparent, with wide, gaunt eyes that were almost blinking entirely out of his face. As Phil had said, his head was almost completely bald, and even his eyebrows seemed narrower.
And he was thin, so, so thin. Chris thought that he could easily count every bone in his body, even through his clothes. He was barely even still a person, a skeleton even.
Chris watched as Phil went over and hugged the boy, wrapping his suddenly huge arms around his tiny frame.
Chris then went over and in turn hugged Dan. It felt like hugging a bag of sticks, he was so bony, and Chris was extra careful when hugging him, as Dan seemed so fragile.
"How are you?" He asked in a whisper as Phil sat next to Dan and hugged him to his chest.
"I'm fine." Dan smiled, hugging Phil back, "I don't know why they're making this much fuss really, I just forgot to eat for a few days, no big deal."
Chris and Phil both gaped at him, "What do you mean 'No big deal'!?" Chris cried, "You're so thin!"
Dan laughed hollowly, and his two friends stared, "Really I'm fine guys, I needed to lose some weight, you're really just overreacting."
"No," Phil argued, "We're not. You are ill Dan, borderline anorexic. How could you do this to yourself?"
"I needed to lose weight, I lost it. I don't see the problem." Dan said bluntly, but Chris shook his head.
"Dan, you have never needed to lose weight," He argued, "Now you are ill. Ill Dan, you are ill. You need to realize this."
Dan shook his head and turned to look at Phil who, to his surprise, was crying.
He looked worriedly at his friend, who let out a sob, suddenly got to his feet, and quickly fled the cubicle.
"Phil!" Chris put his head outside the curtain to call after him desperately, but Phil was long gone.
Chris looked back at Dan, whose face showed confusion, and spoke quietly.
"Please just accept that you are ill Dan, and try and get better. If not for yourself, for Phil. Please Dan, you are tearing him apart."
Then, he too, left the cubicle.
xxxx
"Phil." Chris found the boy crouched at the bottom of a large flight of stairs around five minutes later. He was a wreck, sobbing and crying loudly, head in his hands.
Chris sat down next to him and comforted his friend, resting an arm around his shoulders.
"Shhh…" He hushed him, "Dan will be fine. He just needs to accept that he's been making himself unwell, then the doctors can help him. But first we need to convince him. We need to stay strong Phil."
Phil's sobs began to quieten slowly, and he nuzzled his head in Chris' neck.
"Stay strong for Dan, Phil," Chris muttered, bringing Phil's head up to his own, "Do you think you can do that for him?"
Phil nodded, and Chris hugged him tightly. "C'mon then," He mumbled, "Let's get you home. Pj can go and see Dan."
Phil nodded again, and let Chris pull him to his feet. They left the large hospital together, and Chris called a cab.
They journeyed back to Phil's flat, and Chris looked worriedly at his friend as he got out of the car.
"Are you going to be okay?" He asked, biting his lip nervously.
"Yeah, thanks Chris." Phil mumbled, giving him a little wave before walking up the stairs to his and Dan's apartment. He fumbled slightly with the keys before entering, and walked straight over to his room, flopping on his green and blue checked duvet.
He felt himself tearing up again at the strange emptiness of the flat, but shook his head to prevent the drops falling from his eyes. He could just hear Chris' voice in his head, saying 'Be strong for Dan'.
Even if he couldn't be strong for Dan, he was sure he could be for Chris. He curled up on his bed, still fully clothed, and was launched into a nightmare-ridden sleep.
xxxx
The next morning, Phil woke rather early, having tossed and turned horribly for most of the night. His brain was straight away crushed with the alarming feeling of being alone. Dan went on holiday often, and Phil did not find the loneliness unusual, it was just the fear of what would happen to his flatmate paired with the lack of someone to hold on to that made him so uncomfortable.
He forced himself out of bed and to the kitchen to make breakfast. He poured himself some cereal (Shreddies), and sat gloomily down on the green chair at his table. He didn't feel like watching anime today, as there was no-one to watch it with.
As he sat there morosely eating his cereal, he felt his mind shift to thinking about his friends. He made a mental note to thank the pair for arriving at such short notice and for comforting him. He had been so upset that he had forgotten to thank Chris for the ride home, he realized.
He smiled as he thought about his brown-eyed friend, then swiftly banished said thoughts. 'For goodness sake Phillip!' He scolded himself, 'Your best friend is in hospital and the only thing you can think about is your stupid little man-crush!'
He banged his head on the table, trying to rid himself of Chris' image, but then his thoughts turned back onto Dan. Dan, barely even a skeleton. Dan, refusing to eat even if the doctors forced him to. Dan, dead…
"no, no, no!" He said out loud, banging his fist on the table, "Maybe thinking about Chris isn't so bad…"
xxxx
A few hours later, Pj called Phil, requesting if he and Chris could come over to the flat and keep him company. Phil accepted, and was soon sitting on the sofa with the pair, busily playing Mario Kart. He was winning.
"Yes!" He cried as he flattened Chris for the 5th time in the game, "Gotcha!"
"Dangit!" Chris grumbled, "How are you so good?"
"I used to play all the time with Dan," He answered happily, "Now we just tend to watch anime all the time!"
He laughed, and Chris smiled. It wasn't nice to see Phil upset, especially if he also had Dan to worry about, so seeing him back as normal Phil was very… comforting to him.
"I'm gonna go pee," Phil announced, rising to his feet, and handing his controller to Pj.
"Try not to get eaten by Niall!" Chris called after him, causing Phil to chuckle. "I'll try not to!" He called back, walking along the hall slowly.
He paused as he reached the bathroom, hearing his name appear in the distant conversation.
"I can see you looking at Phil Chris."
Phil tuned in, curious as to what Pj was suggesting to his friend.
"What do you mean? I'm his friend, I have to look at him Peej."
"You know exactly what I mean Chris, you give him a sideways glance like, every three seconds."
Phil could only see Pj from his position behind the door, but could easily imagine his friend's ears growing red at this statement.
"S-shut up Peej."
"Oh, touched a nerve did I? Chris, do you… like Phil?"
"N-no… I mean, yeah… kinda…"
Phil gasped silently. Chris liked him? He gaped at the dark shadowy figure like a goldfish. Chris, liked him back?
"How long have you liked him?" Pj was asking, and Phil looked back at him through the door.
"A few years…" Chris admitted, sounding more embarrassed than Phil had ever heard him.
"Why don't you talk to him?" Pj asked comfortingly.
"I've always felt too nervous up to now," Chris admitted, "I don't think he likes me in that way at all, and even so, I wouldn't admit it to him now."
"Now? What do you mean by now?" Pj sounded confused, "What significance does now have, compared to any other time?"
"Because I'm worried," Chris sighed, "That if we did get together now, it would be just... A distraction. You know, with the whole Dan thing, it wouldn't be real, just a way to unwind. He wouldn't really like me back, y'know…"
Phil felt his heart pounding in his chest. Chris, after all the time he had spent thinking that the Northerner would never feel the same way, liked him back!
'But how will I convince him that it's not just a distraction?' Phil thought, but then he had an idea.
He entered the room suddenly, and marched straight towards Chris. Both Chris and Pj's eyes widened in shock as he grasped Chris's hand and dragged him wordlessly out of the room.
"Phil?" Chris asked, sounding frightened, as the dark-haired man led him up into his bedroom.
As Phil reached his bed, he put his hand under the pillow and retrieved a pale yellow notebook. He flipped through the book and stopped at a specific page, before handing it to Chris.
Chris looked at his friend in puzzlement, but started to read the page nonetheless. His eyes widened as he read on, and Phil shuffled his feet nervously, guessing which part he had just read.
12/03 (2 weeks beforehand):
Dear Diary,
Chris and Pj came around to visit today. I've missed the pair of them, they only live on the other side of London but it feels like they are in a different country or something! I find myself not being able to stop looking at Chris, he's so adorable!
He made me laugh the whole day, he's really cute as well... oh I've done it again, haven't I? He's not mine, he will never be mine yada yada. Urgh.
Phil
As he finished the entry, Chris looked up at his friend, his crush. His mouth was stretched in a nervous smile, and his eyes were twinkling mischievously.
The pair stood awkwardly looking at each other for several minutes, Phil opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to speak, but no words left him.
"Oh fuck it."
Phil stared as Chris walked over to him, pressing him up against the bedroom wall, and kissed him passionately.
It took the darker-haired boy a few moments to react to the kiss, due to overwhelming surprise, but eventually Phil leant into his touch, moving his lips against Chris' tentatively.
He slung his arms slowly around Chris' neck, closing his eyes in bliss, as Chris rested his hands on his hips and pulled him closer, eliminating any space still left between them.
They pulled away a few seconds later, as a cough sounded from behind them. They turned to see Pj, who was grinning widely like a Cheshire cat, leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed.
"You two okay there?" He smirked as Phil steadily turned a brilliant shade of pink and nuzzled his head in Chris' neck.
"Aww…" Chris cooed, hugging him. Phil blushed, if possible, even more, and tried to hide his face in Chris' shirt.
Pj made a fake retching sound and left the room, a large grin still present on his face.
"Hey Phil," Chris breathed into his ear, sending chills up Phil's spine. "Would you maybe… want to go on a date with me?"
Phil looked back up at the naturally-shorter man, and was surprised to see him blushing once more.
"Sure!" He smiled, pecking Chris on the lips shyly, "Where'd you wanna go?"
"Oh I'll think of something," Chris grinned cunningly, stepping away from Phil, who straightened back up to his normal height.
He started to walk out of the room. "Meet me outside this flat at 5pm on Friday!" He called back, before leaving the room entirely.
xxxx
The next day, the three of them had once more journeyed to the hospital to see Dan. His family had visited him previously, and informed Pj that he was getting better, though his state of mind was still damaged.
This meant, Phil deduced, that he still hadn't accepted that he was ill. He and Chris had decided not to tell Dan about the events from the day before, just in case it didn't work out. They didn't want to get Dan's hopes up.
When they entered ward 37 once again, they found Dan huddled on his bed, rocking backwards and forwards, seemingly in deep thought.
"Hey Dan," Phil smiled as the three of them took turns to hug their friend, "How are you?"
"Ok…" muttered Dan, causing the others to all share worried looks.
"What's the matter Dan?" Pj asked uncertainly, sitting on the bed next to him.
"Peej…" Dan whispered, looking up at him with fear lacing his brown eyes. "Am I really that ill?"
Pj just looked at him wordlessly, so Dan continued. "The… the doctors are saying I could die if I don't start eating again. And the measurements they are giving me… a-am I really that light?"
Tears were starting to fall down Dan's cheeks, and Chris went over to hug him.
"I hate to say it Dan," Pj told him, "But you are really that ill. What brought this on anyway?"
"I-I just thought I was getting fat." Dan sobbed into Pj, "I was trying to, y'know, impress people."
"Wait wait wait…" Chris interrupted, moving over so Phil could also sit on the bed next to Dan, "Was there a girl involved in this?" He looked slightly angry.
"No, not a girl, as such…" Dan sighed, "Just girls in general. I haven't had a girlfriend for years, and I found myself wanting one. I started dieting, and when I began to lose weight, I got… kinda… addicted."
"Oh Dan…" Phil muttered, embracing his friend closely. "But now you've accepted that, you will be able to get better so much more easily." He encouraged him.
"Thank you guys so much," Dan sobbed, now into Phil's shoulder, "You guys are the best."
"Well," Chris stretched his arms out in a pretense of being impressive, "That much was obvious."
Dan, Phil and Pj all snorted.
"What?" Chris asked, hands on hips.
"You are just so conceited!" Phil chuckled as Dan hung off of his arm for support.
"Why thank you!" Chris bowed.
xxxx
They stayed chatting to Dan for around an hour, before they were shooed out by a rather irritable ward nurse. They made their way back to the hotel that Chris and Pj were staying in, and sat in the lounge together, watching the TV.
Phil was sitting on a chair on the other side of the room to the other two, slightly facing Chris, so the mischievous Northerner decided he would play a little game with his newly-acquired love interest.
He waited until he had caught the dark-haired man's gaze, and started to make very suggestive hand gestures in his direction.
He smiled wickedly as he saw Phil's pale skin flush a deep pink colour, trying to ignore the malicious signals.
He continued the movements, letting his tongue run painstakingly over his lips to tease Phil more. He found it impishly hilarious to see Phil squirm under the rudeness, as he was usually a very innocent figure in their group of friends.
For Phil, however, it was horrible. Seeing Chris make those dirty actions made him uncomfortable, but he couldn't get his figure out of his line of vision, he was always in the corner of his eye. He could feel the skin on his face burning with embarrassment as he tried to ignore this distraction and concentrate on the TV.
"Phil, are you ok?" He jumped as he heard Pj's worried voice reach his ears, and turned to look at his friend. "You've gone bright red." He explained.
"Yeah, what's up Phil?" Chris purred from next to Pj, and Phil blushed a darker shade of red.
"I-I'm fine…" He stuttered, and Pj looked at him in concern. Chris was trying extremely hard not to crack up laughing next to him.
"Seriously, I'm fine." Phil said.
Pj looked like he didn't believe him, but his phone rang before he could question his friend further.
"I gotta take this." He told them, putting the phone to his ear and leaving the room.
"I hate you." Phil told Chris, hiding his still-red face behind his hands.
"Aww baby…" Chris cooed enticingly, standing up and leaning over Phil. He sat on Phil's long legs and started to crawl up them provocatively.
Phil rolled his eyes, but Chris could see his pink blush creeping down his neck and knew he was secretly enjoying it.
He crawled into Phil's lap. "Are you embarrassed?" He crooned, placing his hands on either side of Phil's face.
"Yes." Phil answered bluntly, "I have no idea why(!)"
"Sorry…" Chris breathed, before pulling Phil's face forward, and kissing him fully on the lips.
Phil returned the kiss, grasping Chris's hips with his long fingers. Chris clutched at his face with his hands, grazing his skin slightly with his nails.
They deepened the kiss, Chris sucking passionately on Phil's bottom lip. Phil moaned slightly, and Chris took the chance to slip his tongue into his mouth.
They melted into each other, looking almost as if they had become one person curled up in the otherwise-empty room. They kissed for several minutes before hearing a sound come from just behind them.
"Seriously guys…"
The two broke apart and turned around to see Pj once more standing merely feet away from them.
"Fuck off Peej…" Chris mumbled, turning back around and kissing Phil once more.
Pj, to put it in Chris' brilliant words, did 'fuck off', and left the pair of lovebirds wrapped around one another in the armchair, connected together by the mouth once again.
"We've got our date tomorrow," Chris rasped, eventually pulling away from Phil with his lips slightly swollen.
"Yeah, where are we going?" Phil asked as Chris started to pepper kisses up his left forearm.
"It's a surprise…" Chris replied huskily, reaching up and kissing him once before clambering off of Phil.
Phil smiled slightly, rising to his feet and hugging the smaller boy to his chest. "Thank you." He muttered, pressing his hand into the small of Chris' back.
"See you tomorrow then." Phil said rather shyly, grabbing his coat and preparing to return to his own flat.
"Remember, be ready at 5 tomorrow!" Chris called after his now-slightly-more-than-a-friend as he left the room.
Phil didn't feel quite so alone in the apartment that night.
xxxx
Pj, Chris and Phil couldn't go and visit Dan the next day, as he was seeing specialists and doctors all day accompanied only by his family, so Phil spent most of the day perusing Tumblr (duh), and worrying about both Dan and the date he had later with Chris.
He hadn't been on a date for years, not since school, and he was nervous, very nervous. He looked at himself in the mirror, and moved the front of his pitch black hair out of his face.
'What am I going to wear?' He thought to himself, rummaging through his wardrobe hurriedly, feeling way too much like a girl as he realised that he had literally nothing to wear.
He perused the hangers for a few minutes or so before picking out a pair of black jeans (The only clean pair in his room), and a dark top decorated with a pattern of jellyfish.
He bit his lip silently, wondering where Chris would take him and whether he would actually care what Phil wore. He pulled on a black jacket and checked the time: 16:57. Chris would be here at any moment.
He paced around the flat, tapping his fingers on his glasses nervously to keep them occupied. Right as the minute hand on his clock struck 12, a loud rapping on the door alerted him.
He rushed straight down the stairs, and stopped for a second in front of the door to regain his composure, before flinging it open to show the grinning face of Chris.
"You ready?" Chris asked sweetly, pulling out a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back and passing them to Phil, who blushed.
"Yeah, thanks…" He muttered, slightly embarrassed, taking the bouquet and hiding his face in the top of them to conceal his blush.
Chris held out his arm to his date, and gave him his most charming smile. "Coming?" He asked, taking the bouquet back out of Phil's hands and placing it on the table next to the door.
Phil took his arm, still avoiding Chris' gaze, and the duo made their way out of the building, and down the deserted street.
Chris led the pair of them down several side alleys, and Phil found himself unable to locate where they were or what sort of place Chris could be taking him to.
"Where are we going?" He asked Chris, looking down at the mousey-haired boy curiously.
"You'll find out soon…" Chris replied innocently, turning and pressing a small kiss on Phil's lips before dragging him down another small alleyway.
Phil felt himself being pulled along the path, and as they reached the other side, his eyes were assaulted with a large array of gleaming bright lights. He blinked quickly, shielding his eyes from the shine, squinting to see what they had just walked into.
A grin stretched across his thin lips as he took in the sight. Surrounding him and Chris were numerous huge rides, brightly coloured stalls selling delicious-smelling treats and sweets, and loud outcries of happiness and laughter from all around.
Phil beamed and wrapped his arms ecstatically around Chris' neck.
"We're at a funfair!" He exclaimed, jumping up and down in excitement.
"I thought you might like it." Chris grinned, returning his hug and dragging Phil straight over to a pink and white decorated candyfloss stand a few feet away from them.
"For you sir." He smiled sweetly, brandishing the candyfloss out to Phil in the same way that he had with the flowers previously. Phil mumbled his thanks shyly, a pink tinge once more staining his face as he ate the treat.
He pressed his face close into Chris' arm as they walked along the centre of the jam-packed fair. They lived in a rather accepting part of London, therefore raising barely a glance from other attendees and workers.
At pretty much every stall they passed by, Chris would buy his companion a huge array of treats, gifts and snacks, not even batting an eyelash at the cost. "Don't worry about that, you deserve it." He would say to Phil.
Phil himself found Chris' charming and chivalrous attitude comforting, if not extremely attractive, and seemed the happiest he had ever been for a very long time. He had an indescribable feeling of complacency around the Northerner, and even the current huge weight on his shoulders since Dan's revelation seemed to have been temporarily lifted.
"Would you like to go on the Ferris wheel?" Chris asked sweetly, pointing to the large ride positioned halfway along the path of the fair.
"Uhhhhh…" Phil mumbled, clinging onto Chris' shoulder slightly more tightly.
"What's the matter?" Chris said quietly, pulling Phil into a corner so they were out of the way of others moving along the path.
"Are you ok?" He asked worriedly, pushing Phil's hair out of his eyes and peering into them anxiously.
"I'm fine." Phil smiled, pressing a quick, shy kiss onto his cheek. "It's just the thing with Dan on [blank] in America… bad memories."
Chris' familiar smile grew back onto his face, and he caressed Phil's cheek lovingly.
"Do you think you will mind coming on if I am with you?" he asked, playing with a strand of Phil's hair.
"I think so…" Phil whispered shyly, turning his head away slightly. Chris slowly pulled his face back and pressed a loving kiss to his lips.
"Don't worry…" He whispered against them, "I'll protect you."
He pulled away as Phil nodded nervously and took his hand. He led the dark-haired man over to the ride and they got on.
Phil clutched rather tightly onto Chris' hand as they escalated, but found himself relaxing once again with Chris' kindness and comforting words.
They reached the top of the large wheel, and Chris beckoned for Phil to stand. Phil looked nervously at him but rose to his feet nonetheless, placing all of his trust in the brown-haired Northerner.
Chris let him walk over to look at the view from the compartment before rising to stand behind him and slowly wrapping his long arms around Phil's thin waist. Phil gasped slightly but leant back into the embrace, feeling much safer in the comfort of Chris' arms.
"B-beautiful view huh?" He stammered, acutely aware of Chris' breath grazing his left ear.
"Nowhere near as beautiful as you." Chris murmured simply, causing Phil to smile and blush. Coming from anyone else, that compliment would have been the cheesiest to ever have existed on Earth, but from Chris, it was comforting, it was kind, it meant something.
xxxx
Later, at around 11pm, having been there for around 6 hours, the pair of them made their way back along the wide, cobbled path towards the exit of the fair.
As they started the short trek along the maze of alleyways back to Phil's flat, Phil asked the question that had been quietly preying on his mind the whole evening.
"How do you do it?"
"Do what?" Chris asked curiously, stopping and looking over at the taller man.
"Change your air so often." Phil replied, stopping also and standing in line with Chris. "One minute you're teasing and dirty, the next you are kind and comforting. I'm not complaining but… how do you do it?"
"I don't really don't know," Chris mused seriously, and, much to Phil's surprise, avoided his gaze. "I just…" he sighed, "I like teasing you because your responses are cute, but I don't want to overdo it y'know."
Phil frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but Chris interrupted him.
"Phil, I really, really like you." He admitted, blushing for the first time since they had gotten together, "And I really, really don't want to screw this up."
He looked up nervously, and met Phil's gaze. Phil's expression was stretched in another shy smile, but appreciation and exhilaration were present bouncing around behind his eyes.
"Thank you." He mouthed, looking like he was about to cry with happiness.
Chris advanced forward slowly, and pressed his hands once more to Phil's cheeks. He pushed him softly against the wall of the alley and connected their lips in a long overdue kiss, laced with love and happiness.
"Phil…?" He muttered, pulling away, "Can I ask you something…?"
Phil crushed their lips back together hungrily before mumbling distractedly into them, "Mmm hmm…?"
Chris gulped nervously, brain already fogging up with passion, and pulled away again, "W-will you…"
He was suddenly cut off as an angry voice sounded out from behind them.
"Oi! Go get a room would you?!"
Chris turned to see a rather angry looking middle-aged man standing a few metres from them, hands on his hips.
"Shit!" He muttered, "Sorry Sir!" He shouted, grabbing Phil's wrist and sprinting away, leaving the man to mutter disapprovingly.
"Pesky teens, I hope they use protection…"
xxxx
Chris and Phil ran all the way back to the flat, stopping to catch their breath only when they reached the safe confinement of Phil's room, where they both collapsed onto his bed, laughing so hard they could hardly breathe.
"That was… exhilarating." Phil chuckled, looking over at the other.
"Well," Chris grinned, "At least it wasn't Pj this time."
They once more descended into laughter at that thought, imagining Pj's face if he had seen them again. As they sobered up, Phil remembered something.
"What were you gonna tell me?"
"Huh?"
"Before… yeah… THAT happened, you were going to ask me something, what was it?"
"Oh… that…" Chris scratched his neck nervously, raising Phil's curiosity even more.
Eventually, Chris plucked up the courage to ask.
"I was wondering if… will you- that is would you like to- b-be my boyfriend?"
He rushed the last few words, and turned away, blushing.
"Yeah." Phil whispered, more to himself than to Chris.
"What?" Chris asked, mouth dry, hands shaking slightly.
"Yes," Phil repeated, turning fully to face him, "I would be honoured to be your boyfriend."
Upon that last sentence, Chris launched himself on Phil, pressing his back into the mattress and peppering his face with passionate kisses.
He resurfaced a minute or so later, hair tousled and lips swollen, Phil having contracting several red marks along his neck and a rather glazy expression.
"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Phil gasped, looking over at the clock, which now read 1am.
"Oh, move fast do you?" Chris grinned suggestively, pushing his long hair out of his face with his fingers.
Phil's face grew rapidly scarlet, "Shut up!" he mumbled in embarrassment, slapping Chris on the chest, "You know that's not what I meant!"
"I know." Chris chuckled, clambering off of him and rising to his feet, "But will I fit in any of your pyjamas though…" He mused.
Phil eventually found a pair of shorts and an old pyjama t-shirt that would fit Chris, and he left the Northerner in the bathroom to change.
He clambered into bed and pulled the covers over himself, thinking about his boyfriend.
Boyfriend… he liked that word, Phil decided. He liked the fact that he and Chris were somehow connected with that phrase, not in the way that you are with a ring or matching tattoos, but connected all the same.
Phil yelped slightly as he felt cold hands meet his waist, and a pair of thin lips touch the shell of his left ear.
"What is it?" Chris purred, tracing patterns onto Phil's skin with his fingers. "You weren't expecting me to sleep in Dan's bed… were you?"
"No…" Phil breathed, turning over to face Chris, and kissing him slowly.
They curled up together, and eventually fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms.
xxxx
Chris woke up first the next morning, to find Phil's head resting on his chest, complete with his usual bedhead quiff and tousled clothes.
Chris contemplated waking up the sleeping boy, but just could not bring himself to wipe the adorable sleeping look off of Phil's face, instead turning to his phone, which he had left on the bedside table the night before.
He had a few, meaning seventy, angry texts from Pj demanding to know where he was and whether he was okay. He texted him back, telling him that he had stayed over at Phil's, and smiled as Pj's brain straight away went to: 'Did you use protection?!'
He shook his head at the message, and simply replied with, 'This is Phil we are talking about, not you Pj.'
He then looked back down at Phil, feeling a fresh wave of happiness and complacency wash over him.
"Phillip Lester…" He whispered, tucking his boyfriend's dark hair behind his ear, "I fucking love you…"
He then rose, carefully laying Phil back on the pillow as not to wake him, and made his way downstairs to make the pair breakfast.
He wandered around the small kitchen, peeking into each cupboard and drawer for any sign of food. He was rather sad to see that there was not much food in the room, even Dan's large collection of Malteasers had been removed, and once more thought of his friend, laying in the cold, dark confines of his illness.
He shook these pessimistic thoughts out of his mind, and turned his attention back to the task at hand. He poured out a bowl of Shreddies, (Slightly laughing at the fact he had already turned back to them) and grabbed a pint of milk from the fridge, before heading back upstairs to where Phil was sleeping.
Where, incidentally, he found that his boyfriend was no longer asleep, instead propped up against his pillows, eyes wide and lively.
"I didn't push you out of bed did I?" He asked Chris worriedly, the cutest expression of uncertainty crossing his pale face.
"Nope," Chris grinned, walking across the room to sit on the edge of the bed. "I wouldn't have been offended anyway, your bed is definitely not meant for two people." He held out the bowl and bottle of milk to Phil, "I know it's not an amazing breakfast," He acknowledged, "But you have like, no food!"
Phil smiled and took the objects offered to him. "It's fine," He smiled, "I've pretty much lived on these since Dan was taken to hospital, I haven't collected the mental strength to go shopping yet."
Chris' jaw dropped, "You haven't gone shopping since… Phil that was a week ago!" He exclaimed, but Phil only shrugged at him, busy eating his cereal.
"That's it!" Chris announced, jumping to his feet and causing Phil to almost, very almost, drop his cereal on his sheets, "We're going shopping!"
"What? Now?" Phil asked with a pout, he had wanted to at least snuggle a bit more with his boyfriend before he was required to do anything vaguely resembling activity, and Chris gave him a shocked look.
"Of course not! I'm not that much of a mean boyfriend!" He said indignantly, putting a hand on his heart as if offended.
Phil smiled, brain celebrating his victory and avoidance of activity happily.
"You can finish your cereal first silly."
xxxx
Phil and Chris wandered back to the Hospital a few hours later, huge grins on their faces after a surprisingly enjoyable morning shopping trip, and maybe a couple of small hickeys along their necks… maybe….
They headed straight over to Dan's room, which had changed and was now in the 'Psych Ward', and knocked happily on the door.
They heard a quiet call to enter, and stepped into the room. Dan was, once again, sitting on his bed, huddled into a little ball, but this time his appearance was a lot different.
His hair had grown a little into his small hobbit-curl hairstyle, his face seemed fuller and his eyes were less sunken. But his expression was the biggest change, he looked happy. Not in denial, not upset, worried, not ill; happy.
"Hey Dan!" Chris grinned, running over and hugging the boy, who returned it eagerly.
"Hey!" He beamed, "PJ'll be back in a second, he just went to get coffee."
The three launched into a massive conversation about nothing in particular, discussing a load of random subjects such as Tumblr, YouTube and how Dan was pretty sure that PJ liked one of the workers in the coffee shop, as he had been gone for over an hour already. It almost felt like normal.
When PJ eventually returned, (denying all claims about the coffee shop, obviously) Dan turned and looked at Phil and Chris.
"Is there something going on between you two?" He asked, causing Chris to promptly choke on air and Phil to turn bright red.
"What do you mean?" Phil asked, mouth slightly dry.
Dan gave him a 'duh' look. "1," He counted off, "You both have hickeys on your necks, 2: Chris you are wearing Phil's clothing, 3: Phil you turned red when I said that and 4: For goodness sake you didn't think I would notice you throwing lovey-dovey eyes at each other every three seconds?!"
Phil gaped at his friend, were they really that obvious? He also felt quite worried, what if Dan thought they had taken advantage of his illness to get together?
"Chris, pass me my wallet." Dan said, earning a confused look from both Phil and Chris. His face was blank, unreadable, so neither of them knew how he had reacted to this news.
Dan grabbed his wallet and pulled out a crisp 20-pound note. He then passed the note to PJ with a mutter of "You win." He gave him a fake annoyed look, before giving in and letting his mouth stretch into a huge grin.
"Wh..?" Phil said, feeling more confused than he ever had in his entire life.
"We had a bet." Dan explained, "PJ was certain that you would get together before Christmas…"
"…And I was right!" PJ grinned, winking at Phil, "Dan thought you were 'way too straight for that'. Boy was he wrong…"
"So… you're okay with it?" Phil asked, slightly lost.
"Of course!" Dan grinned, "New OTP!"
Chris grinned and looked over at Phil. "So if he's okay with it…" He said, frowning as if puzzled, crawling closer to his boyfriend, "Does that mean I can do… this!"
He pounced on Phil, pressing him onto the bed and nuzzling his neck happily.
"Guys!" Dan laughed, holding his chest slightly, "No PDA in this room!"
"Aww…." Chris pouted, climbing back off of Phil and sitting next to PJ, chuckling as Phil resurfaced, red-faced once more.
"So," PJ asked Dan, still chuckling slightly, "How are you doing?" He pointed to the machines situated at the other end of the room, "Are you gonna be able to leave soon?"
"Maybe," Dan mused, "I can't get better instantly, I was too far into the illness, but I'm definitely a lot less ill than I was. I'm very lucky I got over it, many people die from anorexia…" He looked slightly sad.
"But you're gonna get better right?" Asked Phil, who had somehow found himself sitting on Chris' lap, being thoroughly cuddled.
"I think so yeah," Dan smiled, brightening up, "It's all thanks to you guys."
"Aww thanks," Chris chuckled, arms wrapped around Phil's waist, "We do try."
"No, honestly thank you," Dan insisted, looking around at the other three, "I'd be dead if it weren't for you guys."
"Dan…" Phil smiled, clambering off Chris and going to hug his best friend, Pj and Chris right behind him.
"We all look out for each other, we love each other." Chris smiled, and the other three looked at him in amazement.
"What?" He asked, looking between them, "What's bad about that?"
"That is…" Phil said, grinning slightly, "…the sappiest thing I have ever heard you say."
"Oh but you love it though." Chris smirked, wrapping an arm around Phil's waist.
"Yeah, I suppose I do." Phil answered, pecking him on the cheek, "For some reason."
Chris smiled, things, finally, were looking up.
Sappiest ending ever but oh well! (New OTP!)