Author Note and disclaimer: Do I really need to tell you that I don't own Doctor Who? Yes...oh alright then...I don't own Doctor Who or any of it's characters...and I don't own some of the jokes in this selection of random little stories about the TARDIS crew having way too much time on their hands. Rated T for bad language and innuendo in later chapters...yes folks this is a multi chappie...hope you all like!
And remember, R and R always!
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"Rose, your advert is on!" Jack yelled down the corridor one day then resumed his place beside the Doctor on the sofa infront of the TV. In a matter of seconds, Rose bolted through the door, leapt over the back of the sofa and threw herself down next to Jack, just in time.
Pink hoodie - £50
Comfy Trainers - £30
Union Jack Top - £35
Finding out you're best friend's an alien - Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard.
"I don't get it," The Doctor frowned.
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The Doctor was crawling around under the floor of the TARDIS control room one day, trying to find a loose wire that was causing him havoc, whilst Jack sat in his chair with his new animal encyclopedia, reading out random facts.
"Hey Doc, did you know that a shark will only attack you when your wet?"
"No, Jack, I didn't." The Doctor's reply was dripping with sarcasm.
"Yeah, oh and did you know that a blue whale can hear a mating call up to 200 miles away?" Jack continued as the Doctor finally found the loose wire. "Imagine swimming all that way, then she says 'I wasn't talking to you'!"
The Doctor bashed his head on the steel framework.
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The Doctor was reading the newspaper one day when Rose walked into the room.
"Anything interesting?" she asked.
"Nah, not really. Only a truck carrying a load of Thesaurus' overturned on a motorway."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, apparently witnesses were stunned, overwhelmed, astonished, bewildered and dumbfounded."
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"What are you two doing?" the Doctor asked as he walked into the control room one afternoon to find Rose and Jack with a guitar and trumpet.
"We're composing a song, Doc," Jack replied.
"Yeah, and it's all about Maths. It's called Subtraction," Rose added cheerfully.
The Doctor was actually genuinely interested this time, so he said "Let's hear it then."
"Alright. Take it away Jack!"
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Rose was in the library one day, apparently hard at work on the computer, when Jack came in to find a certain book.
"What ya doin?" he asked her casually as he pulled a book from the shelf.
"Oh, I'm just using this cool website I found. You type your name in here, and it translates it into an old english meaning."
"Wow! Do mine!" Jack said excitedly as he pulled up a chair beside her.
"Ok. Surname - H-A-R-K-N-E-S-S," Rose muttered as she typed. Then she hit enter and read the translation. "Hey, that means 'good looking and attractive'!"
Jack had a grin from ear to ear as she continued.
"Ok, first name - J-A-C-K...oh dear, that means 'not very'. Sorry Jack."
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"Doctor, I bet I can make you turn your hands over without touching them," Rose said one day and the Doctor raised his eyebrows at her.
"Rose, that's physically impossible."
"I bet you £10 I can do it," she said, knowing full well he could never resist a bet.
"Done," he said, shaking her hand.
"Right, ok, hold your hands out infront of you," she instructed, keeping her hands behind her back so that he couldn't accuse her of cheating. The Doctor held his hands out, palms down.
"No, the other way," she said, so he turned his hands over so that his palms were face up.
Rose giggled madly and held out her hand. It took a few moments for the Doctor to realise what had happened, then he reluctantly handed her the £10 and stormed off before she could con him out of any more money.
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Note to self: Never, ever, EVER let Rose use the sonic screwdriver to light the oven.
Reason: If you don't want to get blamed for her loss of eyebrows, you won't do it!