A/N: My first story ever. Don't really know where it came from as it was supposed to be a humorous piece. Oh, well. Not betad, so all mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism very welcome.
Disclaimer: Transformers is the property of Hasbro, song lyrics from "Iridescent" be Linkin Park.
Let It Go
Chapter 1
Wings drooping low, Prowl entered his dark and empty quarters. He didn't bother turning on the lights – didn't want to see the pristine desk, where no stray pads filled with books and music laid, or the empty walls with no image captures and native mementos hanging on them.
His world lost all colors, turned bleak and gray. For the last two Earth months he only existed: woke up, consumed the allotted energon, did his work and recharged. Bluestreak, Ratchet and even Prime sometimes popped into his office but left soon after when Prowl wouldn't talk about what happened, politely answering that it was no one's business and if they didn't have anything to report then they should leave him to his work.
"Everyone is righ'. Ya're just a drone, intelligent enough to work but unable to feel anythin'. Do ya even have a spark? How could ya've left him there?!" The doorwinged mech shuttered his optics at the remembered argument. "Why the frag won't ya lemme go after him?!" He could still see the other mech's faceplates twisted with anguish and anger, the tightly coiled body and the fist heading for his cheekplate. "I hate ya. I neve' wanna see ya again." was the last thing he heard before he registered the sharp pain from his doorwings and darkness consumed him.
The tactician shook his head with a grimace. That memory plagued nearly all his waking moments, from the brem he onlined on the floor to an empty room and his partner's belongings gone till he dropped into recharge when his systems could no longer function in his exhausted state. It also brought anew the deeply felt hurt at the accusation and terror for the other mech's safety. No one has seen or heard from him since their argument and Teletraan One couldn't find his spark signature.
Sighing, Prowl lay down on the couch, trying in vain to stop the shaking and the keens escaping from his vocalizer. Since that fateful day he couldn't recharge on his berth. Too many happy memories of his lover smiling at him in the morning, cuddling close to his chestplates; of exchanging sweet gentle kisses right before recharge, when they didn't have enough strength for something more; of passionate touches, insistent mouth and the strong glow of two sparks joined together.
"I'm so sorry, Jazz" Prowl sobbed to the quiet room, "I just didn't want you to get killed too. I love you too much to let you go on a suicide mission." He had calculated the odds of their agent surviving long enough to be rescued. He had made dozens of plans how to get him back. Not one of them ended successfully.
Just before falling into recharge, the black and white mech whispered "Forgive me".
He never saw the dimly lit visor in the corner of the room, observing his every move, taking in his every word. Never felt the gentle touch on the cheekplate that was still dented. Never heard the whispered "Wha' have I done?" as a black and white mech rose from his knees and left, fluid streaming from behind the blue visor.
You were standing in the wake of devastation,
And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown.
And with the cataclysm raining down,
Insides crying, "Save me now",
You were there, impossibly alone.