A/N: Okay so this is a request from WuJiaLing she wanted a TobixZetsu story so here it is! A couple of things to add though 1st I did not have a beta read this so any grammer mistakes are my own fault and please disregard it. 2nd I haven't did a fanfiction in over a year so the characters are OOC if you don't think they are then great! 3rd I haven't wrote in 3rd person in over a year so the sex scene is a little short to prevent all those his/he to get confusing and to prevent over using names.

Even though it was a request fic she agreed to let me dedicate this story to my best friend of 13 years who passed away Jan. 26 2012 he was the one who got me into Naruto he was a great guy and I miss him so yeah never did a dedication before but this story is thanks to you, my best friend.

DISCLAMER: I own nothing, not the characters at least, this story right here was written by me but that is it.

This story also features both White/Black Zetsu's speech.

White: Holy Moly a talking muffin

Black: Can I eat it?

"TOBI! You little shit!" Deidara screamed leaping over the couch chasing after the orange masked ninja that had already escaped through the front door. The rest of the Akatsuki went about their business not phased in the least as something like this happened frequently, about two times a week and nobody really cared anymore...well except Hidan but not because he genuinely worried about him but just because he was sadistically excited about Tobi getting his face pummeled into the ground.

Zetsu was just sitting in a chair in the living room, reading a magazine when the man in question, Hidan stood in the doorway with a shit eating grin on his face, as he was heading toward the front door after Deidara and Tobi, Zetsu grabbed the sleeve of Hidan's cloak stopping him.

"What did he do this time?" Zetsu asked his eyes never leaving the page he was on.

"Let go I'm gonna miss the action!" The white haired man struggled to free his robe but the bi-colored mans grip was unyielding.

"Tell me."

Hidan sighed in defeat, "Fine, it was Deidara's turn to make breakfast and when he wasn't looking that little idiot put exploding clay in with the biscuit mix and blew up the kitchen! There you happy? Now let go!"

Zetsu released his sleeve and Hidan bounded through the door in hot pursuit. He had thought he heard a loud bang earlier but paid no mind, sharing a living space with 8 other people and himself, you were expected to hear some weird things like the time he passed by Deidara's room and the blonde was singing 'I'm sexy and I know it' into his hairbrush, both of them agreed to never speak of the incident again.

He sighed and closed his magazine, since his job was mainly as a scout and to dispose of the bodies the Akatsuki left in their wake, his secondary job was to keep the house clean and habitable which in itself was a full time job with six men, a woman and an androgynously feminine Deidara. He decided to examine the kitchen since it was better to go ahead and clean it while it was still fresh than to wait until it dried and had to scrape it off of everything.

Without a moments hesitation he headed for the kitchen and felt his stomach drop like lead at the sight of it. Biscuit dough was everywhere, on the walls, some on the ceiling, all over the other appliances, and even on the floor with some spots mashed in the carpet from their shoes. Finally his eyes focused on the oven which was irreparable, the formerly white oven was now as black as the ace of spades, door was blown off and was now on the other side of the room against two broken cabinets, he moved closer and saw that the back of the oven was also not connected anymore and actually took a chunk out of the wall behind it revealing Itachi's and Kisame's room.

Thankfully they were away searching for the nine tailed Jinchuuriki and hopefully wouldn't be back for a while; Zetsu sighed, he would have to talk to Kakuzu to see how much money they would have to spend to replace the oven, fix the wall and repaint it, which was a pain in the ass because he wasn't the easiest person to talk to.

"Kakuzu!" He shouted hoping the other man would hear him, moments later he walked into the kitchen but quickly shut his eyes his rage already near breaking point and it was only 10'o clock.

Once he was calmed down enough to speak he turned to inspect the damage, "Tobi?" he asked staring at the broken oven.

"Unfortunately yes...how much will this cost us?"

"A lot of fucking money," he replied. A door slammed shut, and Zetsu saw it was Deidara and Hidan coming back but no Tobi insight, he looked at the blonde and noticed his knuckles were bleeding and dripping on to the carpet; Kakuzu noticed as well, "Dammit don't bleed all over the carpet," he tossed a towel at him and he wrapped it around his hand.

Hidan whistled, "So what are we going to do for Breakfast?"

"You idiot! This mess is going to cost us a fortune and you're worried about your gut?" Kakuzu snapped at the grey haired man.

"Hey I fucking got to eat sometime!"

"You're just going to have to eat out," Zetsu said.

"We can't we're broke," Deidara replied.

"Broke? We just got paid! What did you spend it on?"

"Clay."

"Porn."

"I refuse to spend money foolishly."

Zetsu couldn't believe his ears and much to his displeasure reached in his cloak and pulled out his wallet, "Here use mine to eat on, and bring back food at doesn't need to be heated in an oven."

Hidan whooped grabbed the wallet and opened it, "Damn! There must be at least 1,000 dollars in here!" He shoved it in his pocket and flew out the door.

"Don't spend it all you moron!" he shouted after him but he was already gone, "Kakuzu..."

"I won't let the idiot blow your money, don't expect us back in a while, I'm doing to keep these two busy and out of your hair."

"Thanks," Zetsu replied and watched as Kakuzu left with Deidara following behind him. Thank god he was finally all alone, Konan and Pain were gone, Itachi and Kisame were gone, Kakuzu, Hidan and Deidara were gone so now all he had to worry about was Tobi coming back...if he ever did. He grabbed a bucket from under the sink, and filled it with hot water once it was filled he pulled up his sleeves and went to work.

Two hours later.

It took two long and grueling hours but the dough was finally gone, well almost he scrubbed and scrubbed until his hands were raw but the dough would not come out of the carpet and after a argument with his black side Zetsu decided he could do no more and would just let it be after all what was a base, home to the organization the Akatsuki without a few little stains here or there? He stood up back and knees creaking from the strain of having been on the floor for too long. He heard the door slam shut and wondered if Kakuzu and everyone returned yet, he wanted to ask him if he had figured out what the cost of repairs would be but when he went into the living room it was Tobi standing there instead.

His mask was broken; Zetsu guessed that's were Deidara would hit causing the mask to break and his knuckles to bleed from the force, luckily for Tobi the mask seemed to have absorbed most of the hit. He watched as little slivers and bigger pieces of his mask fell to his feet. He finally noticed the bi-colored man and jumped back a little in surprise.

"Zetsu...you're still here? I thought you left with them."

"No I didn't go I had to stay and clean up your mess."

"I'm sorry about that," Tobi apologized and looked inquisitively at Zetsu.

"What?"

"I didn't know you could take off your plant...things." he replied. The green haired ninja had forgotten he had taken off his Venus mandibles and put them safely in his room, no one knew he could take them off and he liked them well enough but they made normally easy things a hassle, like cleaning for instance.

"Well now you know...Now come with me." he ordered.

Tobi froze, "why?" he asked warily.

"Because you're hurt, need another reason?"

"I-I can handle it, you've done a lot today, don't worry about me," the orange masked ninja trying to slip pass Zetsu and into the room he shared with Deidara.

Normally he would just let him do his thing but Zetsu was curious, curious as to why Tobi would suddenly try to avoid him, he had treated the good boy's wounds before with no problem and then it dawned on him, Tobi didn't want him to see his face!

"It's not a problem, I really don't mind unless you're hiding something." Zetsu smirked.

The boy fidgeted but finally agreed and Zetsu led him to his room where he kept his first aide kit, he didn't dare use the one in the bathroom because it was filthy and also because of the bathroom's confined space. He sat on the edge of the bed, with his first aide beside him and made Tobi sit on the chair across from him. "Did Deidara hit you anywhere else? Decides your face?"

Tobi thought about the incident, it happened so fast but he was able to pin-point a few sore areas, "He punched me first, then while I was down he kicked my ribs and stepped on my fingers...he ended up breaking Sasori's ring."

Zetsu stared at him for a minute and he felt embarrassed, luckily he still had his mask on; he extended his sore hand and watched as the green haired ninja bandaged his hand tightly, once he was done with that Tobi wiggled his fingers.

"Take off your shirt." Zetsu ordered.

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"Do you want me to look at your ribs or not?"

Tobi hurriedly removed his Akatsuki cloak and his shirt underneath; Zetsu poked and prodded his side before deeming nothing cracked or broken, relieved Tobi stood up and almost got to the door before Zetsu stopped him.

"Where are you going?"

He rubbed the brass doorknob gently with his thumb, contemplating on what to say to him, he honestly didn't want him to see under his mask. "I'm going to my room, I can take care of my face." He ended up replying.

Zetsu was definitely interested now, "Tobi," he said as nicely as he could muster at the moment, the good boy's coyness was already wearing thin, "Get back here now."

"No." Tobi answered, he didn't look back at the yellow eyed man but he could tell he wasn't pleased with his response and normally Zetsu would fix up his injuries but he had never allowed him to see his face, no one knew what he looked like under his mask and he liked it that way, why couldn't he just understand that?

"Why not?" Zetsu asked him.

Tobi sighed, he knew he wasn't going to leave the room so might as well tell him why, "My face is ugly okay? I don't want you to see it."

Zetsu snorted at the ridiculous answer he received, seriously? That's what the big deal is about? "You obviously don't pay attention to the other Akatsuki, Do you good boy?"

Tobi looked back at him curiously, "I do pay attention, and does it matter?"

"Of course it does! What is so bad about your face that it's worse than Kakuzu? Than mine? Are you freaking cthulhu or something?"

Tobi was shocked, he had never thought of Zetsu ugly or strange in anyway, in fact out of all the Akatsuki he was the only that was there for him, when he was hurt and he basically looked out for him when he first joined right after Sasori's death, back then it was a hard time because Deidara was always angry. He suddenly felt guilty for not trusting Zetsu and so he let go of the door knob and sat back down in front of him.

"I have no idea what a cthulhu is but...I'll allow you to take off my mask...only you...please don't tell anyone."

"Awfully serious for the good boy eh Tobi?" he replied.

Finally after what seemed like forever Zetsu was going to see what was under that mask, he reached out his hand and gently lifted it off of the boy's face, a few more shards fell to the ground but he didn't care, anticipation was heavy as lead inside his heart, he would at last be able to see his face...he hadn't experienced this much impatience since Kakuzu showed his face for the first time.

...He was...vastly disappointed though he was surprised to see he possessed the Sharingan in his right eye, he didn't dare look too deeply into it though because of his bout with Itachi's own eyes last month. Other than that though his face was rather unremarkable, well more so than he hoped; the way he talked he expected tentacles, multiple eyes, or something of the sort but instead Tobi was relatively normal.

"I knew it... its ugly isn't it?" Tobi asked. Zetsu couldn't find anything worth calling ugly, a few scars on his cheek and an eye patch over his other eye which was an obvious question, what was he a ninja pirate? Honestly this guy was going to cause the death of him yet...

Tobi waited with bated breath for the bi-colored man's reply, he figured Zetsu probably thought he was being ridiculous but even the other Akatsuki with their obvious faults were good looking in their own way. He trusted him, more so than anyone else, most people saw him as annoying but Zetsu just brushed his odd mannerisms aside calling it mere childish behavior, he stood up for him and helped him when no one else would so his opinion was very valuable to him and he genuinely cared about what he thought. So it came as quiet a surprised when he was suddenly and without warning kissed, he looked into his yellow eyes for an answer for why he was doing this but he just leaned further in, closing the gap between them. He watched as he closed his eyes devoting himself fully into...whatever he was doing and honestly? Tobi just let him.

Zetsu didn't know why he spontaneously kissed him, something about the younger man fascinated him; he annoyed him always making messes and following around the other Akatsuki members around like a puppy, he was foolish, happy-go-lucky and a complete idiot but...every time he saw him his interest was piqued. No one knew where he was from, what he did before the Akatsuki, or anything, just showed up one morning out of the blue asking if he could join which of course he was denied as we had already reached our max number of people but when Sasori died he was there waiting in the shadows. He originally wanted to ignore him, but he would find himself looking for Tobi when he wasn't around and he secretly looked forward to when he got to fix his injuries because he saw a more serious side to the young boy and he decided he liked it.

Tobi shivered as his lips were parted by Zetsu's tongue, he had never been kissed like this before and the thought of it made him so embarrassed, when he tried to shy away though he just got pulled closer. He wondered how far Zetsu was planning on going when he broke the kiss and suddenly stood; he sat there and watched in awe as the green haired man began removing his Akatsuki cloak and his own mesh shirt before tossing them away.

He stared at the good boy for a moment, the fire of arousal had already planted its seed deep inside his stomach and for whatever reason he wanted him, "Get on the bed," he ordered.

"Huh?" Tobi replied obviously confused.

"Sex. On. Bed. Now." He replied.

He blushed crimson and slowly moved and laid on the bed like he was told, he looked into his visible eye, the Sharingan eye, and leaned over him, careful not to hit his injuries before kissing his worry and cautiousness away. His mouth was hot and deliciously wet and he felt all too eager to explore; he liked the way the younger male shivered when he ran his tongue along the roof of his mouth and how he would sigh when he lightly bit and sucked on his lips. Pulling away for air he looked down at him pleased with his sensual expression, eye glassy, lips pink and parted, cheeks flushed, even with his scars Tobi was absolutely gorgeous.

He liked the way Zetsu kissed him, liked the way he made his brain fuzzy and lips swollen, he liked everything about Zetsu but one question still nagged on his mind, "Why?"

He stared at him, "Why what?"

"Why me? I'm not good-looking, I have scars, the Sharingan, the eye patch..."

"The eye patch is a little weird, but judging from your scars you must've damaged your eye, I don't ask questions, don't need answers, I just need you...besides I think you're jaw dropping just the way you are," he replied before giving him a passionate kiss that curled his toes and made his blood travel south. While he was stunned, Zetsu's hands wandered everywhere and every place he touched fire ignited on his skin, making him a living inferno of want and need, he was so caught up in feeling he didn't even notice when he popped the button on his pants until he felt something cold touch a delicate place.

"Wha-"

"Shh, relax Tobi; I don't want to hurt you,"

Zetsu was impatient, he wanted to take it slow but his body wouldn't let him, and speaking of bodies Tobi had a really nice one, he'd have to thoroughly explore it another time as the others should be coming back and he wanted to hear the good boy's moans loud and clear. He muttered smoothing words to try and get him to relax and finally he did just enough for him to get one lubed finger inside but he was still too tense. He reached up and pinched one rosy nipple causing him to twitch in pleasure. He delivered a sloppy open mouth kiss to his thighs in hopes to coax him to relax and finally two fingers were in, Tobi shuddered again causing his cock to bob and sway lazily and it drew Zetsu's attention like a magnet, he rose up, his other hand leaving the others nipples for his hip and anchored him down as he slipped his lips over the bulbous glossy head of his penis. As expected he jerked his hips up but luckily he was well prepared for that reaction.

Tobi never imagined someone like Zetsu would be giving him a blowjob! Seeing that green head of hair between his legs almost made him faint, I can die happy now he thought but just before he was about to cum he would always pull away or focus elsewhere and the sensation was driving him nuts!

"Please Zetsu," he moaned shamelessly, his desire was building inside him ready to burst like dynamite but his fuse kept being put out.

He stopped what he was doing and looked right at him, his yellow eyes narrowed seductively, sweat beaded and dripped down his forehead and he watched as a long pink tongue licked it away from his mouth, "What's wrong?" he asked smirking and then proceeded to slip yet another finger inside him.

"Kiss me," he replied. He removed his fingers and leaned up so kiss him but before their lips touched he was abruptly flipped, Tobi looked down at the stunned bi-colored man who looked back up at him eyes wide.

He looked at the younger man unsure of what just happened, all of a sudden up was down and he was the one flat on his back looking at the ceiling, he looked downward and saw Tobi straddling him waist shamelessly, "Was that coyness just an act? Just full of surprises aren't you?"

He smiled down at him sheepishly, "Sorry, but I'm fixing to burst and I need you now."

He grinned and definitely liked his answer and allowed him to assist in removing his pants; now both of them fully naked Zetsu hissed in pleasure as his cock was grabbed and was guided into complete nirvana. Hot suction was all he felt as the younger ninja sat flesh on flesh atop him; needless to say he enjoyed the view and clenched his fists when he slowly rose up pulling his cock almost out before slowly descending back inside.

He felt delightfully stretched and full, he stared down at Zetsu and smiled at him secretly thankful that his first was with him, when he woke up this morning he never would have imagined this would happen but it did and now he never wanted this to end. He trembled when the older man gripped his hips and helped him set a good pace, not too slow (thank god!) but not to fast either. Pants and moans filled the room and the scent of sweat and sex was unmistakable, even naked, Zetsu alighted a flame inside that would melt Antarctica and every time their eyes met a jolt of pleasure would quicken his heart.

He couldn't stop watching Tobi's reactions to each thrust, each jerk of his chin, each gasp, each moan was pleasure induced and completely gorgeous, he opened his eyes to see him watching and blushed so his shyness was still there? He wondered, he also wondered if he was experiencing any pain like now his hands were pressed flat against his chest, and all this moving and breathing heavily couldn't be good for his sore side.

"Are you feeling any pain?" he asked.

"N-No, I feel so good, can't feel anything else," he replied smiling.

He beckoned him closer and rose up to meet him in a kiss, tongued danced erotically and using his hand he wrapped it around Tobi's cock and began pumping it trying to get him to cum before he did.

It didn't take very long.

"Zetsu!" He moaned and fired his load between us.

Tobi felt tingly all over and kissed the other as Zetsu came deep inside, almost branding him with his semen, the bi-colored man broke the kiss and collapsed wearily on the bed, he did the same and laid comfortably on top of him not caring of the sticky mess between them. He listened to Zetsu's heartbeat which was still a little fast; he felt a warm hand glide through his hair and down his back before resting on the curvature of his lower back.

Once he was able to think clearly he studied the taller ninja, Zetsu noticed quickly and asked, "What?"

"Nothing, I just decided I like it."

"...You like what?"

"Sex...with you...definitely with you...only with you."

Zetsu ruffled his hair, "Really?"

"Oh yeah, might actually get in trouble more often so I have an excuse to come in here."

"No need I'm always here, and the door is always open to you," Zetsu replied closing his eyes.

Tobi smiled and stayed silent for a while but he couldn't help but asking, "Hey Zetsu?"

The taller man sighed, "What?"

"The others...they're not back yet," he whispered.

His eyes shot open, grinned ravenously and decided once wasn't nearly enough.

Omake

Two days later...

"TOBI!"

Tobi jerked like he'd been shot and was prepared to run but noticed it wasn't Deidara's or Hidan's voice it was Zetsu's and it was coming from the bathroom, he got up from the chair and rushed into the bathroom where he found Zetsu scratching his head like crazy but the strange thing was hundreds of little tiny yellow flakes were falling like snow, he noticed already a small pile of them in the sink.

"What is that? Lice?"

"No! This is just fabulous! I'm Pollinating and it's all your fault!"

"My fault? How did I do this?"

"It happened after we had sex, and now I can't leave the house!"

"Okay...why?"

He moved to the other side of the bathroom and angrily lifted up the curtain, already about 20-40 bugs were outside trying to get in.

"If I go out there, I'll be swarmed" he said shoving the curtain back down.

"Hmm? What is this buzzing sound?" We both heard Konan ask.

"Don't open the door!" We shouted in unison.

A/N: Okay for those of you who don't know what pollinating is just look it up don't want to spoil it for others by writing out an explanation.

I hope you all liked it especially WuJiaLing who requested it sorry it took so long feel free to drop a review, favorite it, favorite me whatever and if you have a request feel free to ask for one so Thanks!