Deep and Shallow
By J.LaRae
Summary: Between episodes 301-308. Ben observes Brian as the misunderstood, love struck fool he is. Of course Brian would never see it that way.
Warnings: Angst, Slash, etc. I don't own Showtime, Queer as Folk, or the actors or characters. If you want the info, ask cow/lip, not me.
Deep and Shallow
I knew when he walked into Michael and my room that day, how he would be for a while.
It was right after the RAGE party Brian threw for Michael and Justin's comic book, when Justin walked right out on Brian with another guy. Ethan, was that his name? Michael was mad. Brian acted as though he could care less, and went right on fucking the guy he was fucking at that moment. I can see why Michael would be mad, but I didn't blame Justin for leaving. Brian had been pushing him away for the longest time.
When Brian walked in, Michael and I were on the bed, making out. Brian decided an act of sexuality can't be carried out without him, so he flopped on the bed with Michael and me.
"Brian! How did you get in?" Michael exclaimed with a laugh and a little shock.
"Wif my widdle key." Brian said, with an angelic expression on his face.
Looking into his eyes, he had a look of sadness in them, and his body expression said he was hurting. Believe it or not folks; Brian is vulnerable.
"Don't you know how to knock?" Michael laughed.
"I need someone to go to Babylon with me."
"Brian, tonight is Ben's first night here. I was hoping we could spend it together. ALONE." Michael said, pushing Brian to the door.
"Michael," I said. Michael turned to me, "Maybe you should go."
"But…"
I turned Michael to look at Brian, he was standing near the door, shoulders slumped, looking defeated.
"Look, he needs his best friend right now. Just go out, have fun."
Michael kissed me, "I won't be out late."
I smiled at him.
I knew Brian and Michael had a history, but the history was fine with me. I knew Michael wouldn't cheat, and I new that Brian can only intimidate you if you let him.
You see, Brian is the type who would love to fuck anyone, but he has never had sex with Michael. I think that Brian is too afraid to have Michael, and Michael's heart get broken by him. They are best friends, and a boy friend can never mess with that.
I began to unpack, thinking more about Justin and Brian. Everyone knew that Justin was in love with Brian, but I have my reasons to believe Brian was just as in love with Justin. Maybe it didn't show to the world, but it was in his eyes, his smile, in the way he acted like a jerk to Justin, yet continued to kiss him. Now, all of that was gone. Brian was broken. Brian cared.
I closed my eyes and began to meditate.
Fin I know it was short, but… it's always short and sweet ain't it?