Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, which is probably better for them!

Set: Not too long after KKBB S2.

Author's Note: I have just discovered something... Johnny Cash and trying to write Ianto-like go pretty well together! Yes, that is one of my most unusual discoveries. Anyway, I wanted to write this as a letter to Jack from Ianto because, in lots of fanfics I've read people are always going on about the fact that Ianto doesn't seem to talk to Jack about how he really feels when regarding Jack dying and so on. So I thought, well he doesn't say but no-one said anything regarding him writing it down for Jack to see.

The Letter Of The Soul

Jack, Thursday 12th June 2008.

My dear precious Jack. You understand how strong my love for you is don't you? You realise that everytime I see you die, everytime you slip away from me even if it's just for a little while, I feel like someone has ripped out my heart and is presenting it to me, laying my emotions bare for me to see. My raw grief, my ever-so-carefully contained anger, my undying and unrelenting love for you, my overwhelming longing to just have you back, to be in your place just so I didn't have to watch you die.

You are an immortal man Captain, you have seen time, you have seen death, you have denied it yourself, you have watched and wondered through each age to now, you have fought and still fight to deny how you feel for you are always left behind in the end, I know it must hurt more than I could know for I am not you. I have never seen the horrors that you have, but I have seen my own, horrors that even to this day cause me more pain and despair than ever before.

I know from experience how it feels to be left behind to not have been taken by death when those you know have, you wish for you to be taken for them to remain and for you to be gone. It is when you realise that you survived, that you continued on when they fell that you can't bare to look at yourself, to see the creature that survived when they died.

Trust me Jack, I know how you feel more than you realise. You are not alone in this Jack and although my death may come, most likely sooner than later due to the life expectancy of a Torchwood operative, you must understand something. I love you with even fibre of my being, I would let the universe burn just to save you. You mean that much to me Jack that nothing could stop me if you were in danger.

You say that you're immortal and that I don't need to put myself in the 'line of fire' for you, but when Jack, when, will you realise that I put myself in the 'line of fire' to protect you because I can't bare to see you die, it hurts me so much Jack.

One day you will see me die, and I will no longer be, but you will only see me die once Jack – I won't come back like Suzie tried. You will lose me only once, you will not hear my words from my mouth again. But I see you die constantly Jack. Compare how you will feel when I pass, that is how I feel everytime I watch life leave you. The light leave your eyes, you body cease to have you within it, until you return. Gasping back to life, fear gripping you so tightly that I feel worse than I do when I watch you die. You see nothing of me, I don't exist to you for only a few brief moments in time and that breaks me Jack. Breaks me more than I know even understand, more than I could ever put in words.

I need you to understand Jack, that though you are immortal it doesn't mean you can be so uncaring towards yourself. You can't always take the bullet for another Jack. But you will, I know you will because you don't want to see others die when you can come back so 'easily'.

I know you more than I know myself Jack Harkness and that causes me to wonder if you know me more that I do. Because if you do then you would know how I feel when you sacrifice yourself and are blatant about your death and resurrection.

I love you Jack. I love you – no other words can describe my love for you and those three words 'I love you' don't show enough of it.

Your Ianto

I really should focus on school-work but this seemed more appealing. School-work... or, Janto? Hmmm, is there really ANY competition! Of course there isn't. Do tell me what you think please, I hate not having feedback.