Dean sat there silently, watching Sam do his research. Sam was back, soul and all. He didn't want to look away, afraid that he would disappear, or go back to his dick head, soulless self.
"Dean, will you stop staring at me?" Sam laughed.
"I'm not." He said, embarrassed that he was caught.
"I know I wasn't me for a while, but it's really me Dean, you gotta stop worrying about me." Sam said.
"I'll never stop worrying about you." Dean said. It was true; he would never stop worrying about Sam, not as long as he was alive. Ever since their mom had died, Sam was Dean's responsibility. Their dad made Dean promise that he would look out for Sam, and he had let him down. He had let Sam say yes to Lucifer and go to hell. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. He would look out for Sam, no matter what.
"So have you talked to Cas at all?" Dean jumped at the sound of his name. Dean hadn't seen Cas since Sam had gotten his soul back. Sam had talked to him, and Cas spilled the beans on Sam being a soulless zombie, and now Sam felt that he had to make everything he had done during the last year and a half right. Dean was furious at Cas. Who knew what this knowledge could do to Sam. He would probably want to figure out everything that happened, and he would scratch the wall, just like Death had warned him not to. If anything happened to Sam, he would stuff and mount Cas' feathery ass to the front of the Impala. He thought it would make a great hood ornament.
"Nope, and I don't really plan on it," Dean finally said.
"Well that sucks." Sam laughed. Dean turned around and saw Cas standing next to Sam.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Dean stood up and walked to the small kitchen of the 80's themed motel room and got a beer.
"I wanted to check on Sam, see how he was doing." Cas said. Dean knew he was lying though. He had checked on Sam not 12 hours ago when Dean was asleep; Sam had told him. Cas was here to talk to Dean, and Dean wasn't in much of a talking mood.
"Well, I'm gonna let you guys chat." Sam said, getting up and heading to the door.
"No Sam, I don't want you going anywhere. Not so soon after everything." Sam just rolled his eyes.
"I'm just going to Bobby's, Dean. Calm down." Before Dean could protest further, Sam was out the door with the keys to the Impala, leaving Dean with no escape from the angel.
"Dean, look..."
"Save it Cas." Dean said, cutting him off. "I don't wanna hear your lame apologies, because we both know you're not sorry. You didn't want Sam to have his soul back. So what? That means you're going to do everything you can to make sure it destroys him? Why? So you can laugh and say 'told ya so'? Go right ahead Cas." Dean emptied the remaining beer in his hand and went for another.
Cas stopped him, grabbing the bottle from his hand and throwing it across the room, the glass breaking in hundreds of small pieces. Cas backed Dean into the wall, leaving him trapped so that he had to look at Cas.
"I had no idea Sam would not remember the last year and a half Dean. I thought he wouldn't remember hell, but I guess the time he was without his soul was just as bad for him. If I had any idea, I would not have said anything about him being soulless. I am very sorry for what I may have done, and what may occur because of it. You and Sam mean very much to me. I would never want to see anything happen to either of you, especially at my hand."
Dean wanted so badly to move away from Cas, but at the same time, he didn't. Cas was actually sorry about what he had said to Sam, and it surprised Dean. He had thought Cas had done it on purpose so he could prove Dean wrong about the wall Death had put up. Dean thought Cas wanted to show him how easy it would be to tear down the wall. But it wasn't like that at all. Cas actually cared about the boys, which for some reason surprised Dean. Sure, Cas had pulled him out of hell, but Dean was pretty sure that it had been an ordered from somewhere higher up. He was meant to stop the apocalypse, and they had. After that Cas had gone back to heaven and left Dean, so how could he care that much? So they weren't hunting anymore and they apocalypse wasn't hanging over there head, but Dean never thought that would mean Cas would stop being his friend. What happened to all that profound bond bullshit?
But Dean had been wrong. Cas cared about the boys, in his own way that is.
"I'm sorry Cas, I didn't know it was like that. I thought you were just angry with me and wanted to prove me wrong."
"In this case, I never want to prove you wrong Dean. I want this wall to work just as much as you do." Cas moved back away from Dean, allowing him to move from against the wall. Dean went towards the fridge, getting out two beers this time and handing one to Cas. He started to shake his head, but he finally took it and opened it.
Dean found himself watching the angel wrap his lips around the bottle and take a sip. He realized he was staring at Castiel and looked away.
"Cas, is it really a sin to be gay?" Dean heard himself blurt out before he could help it.
"Actually, no. God knows that it's not a choice, and he doesn't believe humans should be punished for it. He created everyone how they are meant to be, he would never send anyone to hell for being who they are. That's one of the reasons Lucifer refused to love humans. He felt that being gay was disgusting and should not be encouraged." Cas told him.
"Lucifer a homophobe, go figure." Dean couldn't help but laugh.
"Why do you ask Dean?" Of course Cas would want to know!
"Guess I've just always been curious." Dean said, trying to write it off. Cas seemed to know the truth though. How lately Dean's been spending a little too much time watching Cas. The way he moves, the way he talks, the way he holds the bottle of beer, wrapping his lips around it, taking a sip and gently licking the rim, getting every bit of alcohol.
"Dean…" Cas started to say, but Sam came in, Bobby following him.
"You two kiss and make up?" Sam laughed, Dean cringed, but Cas didn't seem to be phased one bit.
"Bobby thinks he has a job for us. All three of us."
The four boys sat down and listened to information Bobby had gotten from a friend in Newark, Virginia. What Bobby was explaining sounded like an angel gone rouge. Cas explained that an angel could go rogue and hide from God and the archangels for a short while. It was usually never long enough for the angel to do any damage, but with God gone and the civil war currently going on in heaven, no one was really focused on what one rogue angel might be doing.
But whatever this was, angel or not, it was killing people.
"Think it's worth checking out?" Bobby asked.
"Definitely. Even if it's not an angel, whatever it is, it's killing a lot of people for the fun of it. We gotta stop it." Dean said.
"Well then let's go." Cas said, going to touch the two Winchesters and zap them to Virginia.
"Whoa whoa whoa, put that thing away." Dean said, pointing to Cas' finger. "We drive. I'm not going all the way to Virginia without my baby." Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and started to pack his stuff.
"Dude, don't you wanna bring something else to wear?" Dean asked. He had always wondered why Cas wore the same thing, but never brought himself to ask.
"I don't need anything else."
"But don't your clothes ever get dirty?" Sam asked.
"Yes." Cas said simply.
"So then don't you need something clean to change into?" Dean asked.
"No, why would I?" Cas just shrugged his shoulders and stood up from the bed, following the boys to the car.
"Ok, then how do they get clean?" Dean asked Cas, wondering if it was some magical angel cleaning power or something.
"Washing machine." Dean just stared at Cas.
"What do you wear when you're washing your clothes?" Sam was loading the rest of their stuff into the Impala laughing.
"Nothing." Cas said with a questioning look.
"Ok then, we're stopping at a Wal-Mart and getting you some extra clothes." Dean said, trying not to think of Cas walking around naked.
They drove to Virginia, stopping at a store and picking Cas up extra boxers, sweats and t-shirts, since he refused to get anything to wear during the day. He obviously had some weird attachment to that trench coat, and it was really starting to freak Dean out.
They got to the shitty motel and Sam insisted on going out on a food run. Cas of course wanted burgers.
Dean watched Cas with wide eyes as he started to strip naked to change into his new clothes.
"Cas! People usually use the bathroom ya know?" Dean said, still staring at Cas who had stopped undressing. He was only in his boxers.
"Why?" Dean couldn't help but laugh.
"Because most guys don't want to see other guys naked." He said.
"Why? There's nothing wrong with it. It's quit natural." Cas said.
"To you maybe, but not to everyone else on earth." Dean just shook his head as Cas stripped his boxers and searched for a clean pair.
Dean couldn't help but stair. Cas was naked right in front of him. Dean looked at his face, down to his nearly perfect chest, following the almost invisible trail of hair starting at his navel and leading down to his groin. Dean stopped there, unable to tear his eyes away. He had to remind himself that it wasn't really Cas. It was Jimmy's body. Cas was just inhabiting it for a while. Dean turned around, still searching for the boxers. He grabbed a pair from the bag next to him and walked over to Cas, handing them to him.
Cas and Dean just stood there staring at each other. Dean was the first one to move, lightly placing a hand on the scar that had been left from Cas carving the sigil into his torso.
"Why hasn't this healed?" Dean asked quietly. Cas always healed, except for this time.
"When we carve a sigil into our vessels, they do not heal." Cas said simply, not going into any more detail than that.
Dean trailed his finger over and around the scar lightly, feeling Cas shake under his touch. Why was he acting like this? Dean was confused, but he didn't want to stop. He couldn't. Cas slowly moved his hand towards Dean's chest, feeling the hard muscles under the tight t-shirt he wore.
"Dean." Castiel whispered his name and Dean felt a shiver go up his spine. The way Cas said his name, it made him feel…he didn't know how he felt. He had never felt this way before. Dean found himself moving towards the angel. Closer than he had ever been to Cas in his life. It seemed as if Cas was moving closer as well, but Dean couldn't be sure.
They we're finally only centimeters away, Dean could feel Castiel's breath hot on his face. He wanted something…anything, just as long as this feeling didn't go away. Before Dean knew what was happening, he felt Castiel's hot sweet breath on his mouth, his lips lightly touching his.
Dean froze, no knowing what to do. He should back away; get as far from Cas as possible. But Dean never did what he should do. He never listened. So instead, he slid his hand behind Cas' neck, bringing Cas' lips back to his and kissing him lightly. It was the first real kiss Dean had ever had, or at least the first one that ever made him feel something other than being horny.
Yeah, Dean could feel a bulge starting in his pants, but it was more than that. His hairs stood up, his heart ached for more. Dean had never been in love. Sure he had said it to girls before, and he's been close, but he didn't know what it really felt like. At that moment though, he thought he might have a clue.