This failed. Failed. It's what happened when I tried to fix AkuRoku for a homophobic friend. I don't even know how I thought of this. No effin' clue. She wasn't happy with it, needless to say. But I like it. If enough people R&R I'll take it farther. Enjoy (maybe?

Warning this story may contain the following: Yaoi (sorta?), teenage problems junk, Mucho suggestive stuffs, crude humor, lemons (whatever those are), and could go anywhere if it goes farther than a one-shot.

Disclaimer: I own nothing besides the story line. And my insanity. Which I don't think I own half the time anyway… But sometime in the future I may own Kingdom Hearts, even though I don't now! Beware!

Freak of Nature

"Hey, Roxy, ready to go home yet?"

I lift my head to look up at my redheaded best friend. "Heck yes. No way in hell am I going to math with this headache."

The pyro laughs. "Don't be such a girl!"

I giggle too. "Oh, but I am a girl, Axel."

Or as far as he knows, I am. I happen to be one of those mutant hermaphrodites, not a he or she, but an it. But for all intensive purposes, I'm considered a girl. I had to grow my hair out so people could tell though, with my tom boy fashion sense.

"Well, then whatcha waiting for, an invitation?"

"Oh, sorry, I'm coming." I hop up and follow the redhead out of the lunch room and out the front door. This is one benefit of having an arsonist as a friend. He is great at silent escapes, so much we can just walk out and not be caught.

"Where do you want to go? Your place or mine?" Axel asks as we walk off of the school grounds.

Oddly, I feel like seeing my brother for once "How about mine today? And we can get some ice cream on the way."

The redhead shakes his head in amusement and pokes at my stomach, "How are you still so tiny with all the ice cream you eat? How am I so skinny still for that matter…?"

I glower at him, not all that mad, but he knows how sensitive I am about my figure or lack there of. It's amazing how fast our metabolisms are when all we eat is sea-salt ice creams.

"Oh! Here we are!" I run ahead to the ice cream stand and buy four of them, one for Axel, one for me, and one for my brother, Sora, and his 'friend', Riku. We're all addicted to the stuff, I swear.

"Here ya go, Ax." I grin and toss him a stick of sweet-salty goodness before starting on my own.

"Thanks Roxy." We start towards my place licking the popsicles in silence. After a few blocks Axel looks over and almost chokes on his ice cream.

"What? Did I get some on my nose or something?" I rub all around my nose and mouth to wipe of any mess I might've made.

The redhead shakes his head and calms down enough to answer. "Sometimes you're so naive. Guess what it looked like when you were licking your ice cream."

Now I choke. When I recover, I punch him in the arm, as hard as I can. "Axel!"

He laughs nonchalantly and rubs his arm "You know you love me despite my crude humor."

Might as well give him some more material, this could be fun. "Yeah I do. Maybe…" I stick the half melted, rounded ice cream all the way into my mouth suggestively. Let him make something out of this!

Axel's eyes widen and seem to bulge out of his head. This is the first time I've ever caught him off guard. "Rox… Wha-why…what are you…?" he watches as I slowly swallow the whole thing except for the stick.

"Yum, nice and salty." I grin mischievously at him after I finish the treat. The redhead just stands dumbfounded. So I shrug and start walking. That snaps him back to reality. He jogs up to me and grabs my shoulder, effectively stopping me.

"Rox… you can't do stuff like that. I know a lot of people that would drag you back to their apartment or into an ally after a… display like that." He looks concerned.

"I was just joking around, no need to get your knickers in a twist. Let's get home before Sora and Riku's ice creams melts." I point to his hand on my shoulder with my eyes.

"Sure…" my pyro friend releases me and starts walking again. He pulls out his other best friend, his lighter, and starts burning his finger tips. Now I've lost him for a while. Stupid uncomfortable silences…

When my house is in sight, the pyro puts the lighter away and rubs his blackened fingers on his pants. His good mood is back with his usual crazy grin. "Roxy! We're home!"

"Yeah, thanks a ton captain obvious." My voice is thickly layered with sarcasm.

"My pleasure" his grin grows twice as big.

We walk inside to a weird scene on the couch. Sora and Riku are kissing under a blanket wearing who-knows-what. Most likely nothing. The redhead loves it when we catch them because then he gets the chance to be a creeper.

"Mmmmm." Axel purrs. "Threesome?"

My brunette brother screeches like a cat and hides under the blanket. Riku coolly looks down, a tiny smile on his face. "I'm hoping you guys are just passing through. Unless you're joining."

That's just like Riku, the pervert. "No thank you. Just passing. There'll be some sea-salt ice cream in the freezer when ever you're done with… Yeah." I am not good in this kind of situation.

My older friend comes to my rescue. "Try not make to much noise, we're going to try studying, m'kay?"

The silverette nods at the redhead "If you insist."

We walk into the kitchen and I pop the ice cream in the freezer. The older boy is looking at me oddly now. Did my 'display', as he put it, really scar him that much?

We head upstairs right as the moans start. I can't help but shudder at the noises my brother is making. We're only 16 for Christ's sake.

"Riku lied, apparently" Axel notes dryly, hearing the sounds too.

"Yup… thankfully my room is sound-proofed…"

I shut the door to my room and the pyro flops down onto my bed like he lives here, which he practically does. I lie beside him since it's my bed too and close my eyes. My friend isn't of quiet nature, so I wait. And not for long either.

"Roxy, can we talk?" He sounds really nervous for some reason, this might be bad….

"Sure Axel, what about?"

"Well, earlier… I might as well put this bluntly…" he stops and his face contorts with frustration.

"You can tell me anything, Ax." I make my voice soft and encouraging, scooting over directly beside him.

He sighs "We've always been her for each other, ever since we met at ten, right?"

I nod and he continues. "Would you feel weird if I had a big secret that I've been keeping from you?"

Oh Jesus, if he tells me whatever his secret is, I'll feel obligated to tell him mine. Not good.

He sighs and finally spits it out. "I'm not entirely straight. I'm bi, I know it."

Wow, um… here we go. "I'm going to try not to be rude about this, but I've known for a while, somehow." My friend gets an even stranger look on his face, I can't figure out what it is.

"That's not the entire story, Rox. I… I think I'm in love with you."

Now this is the shocker. Unexpected. Holy… "R-really?"

Axel nods and I close my eyes again, to think. He can't love me, I'm unlovable, an it. A mutant, a freak of nature, a thing. But he's stuck around for so long and been here for me when I've needed him.

Feathery fingers brush the underside of my chin and my head is tilted up. I snap my eyes open to see his pale, familiar lips inching towards mine. He's going to kiss me, should I let him?

Before I have the chance to stop him, even if I wanted to, warm skin meets mine. And it's like heat and electricity flows between us. His lips mold against mine, they feel so right. I automatically let out a small moan, parting my lips. The redhead takes advantage of the opening and I find his slick muscle in my mouth. He pokes around, tasting me. I want to taste him too, so I push my own tongue roughly into his mouth, surprising him. He tastes like sweet salt, like ice cream.

He breaks away, breathing hard. "I love you Roxy."

"I love you too Axel."

The pyro moans and dives for my neck, latching on. I run my hands through his brilliantly colored hair. I'll probably have a hicky tomorrow, but this feels wonderful. Cool hands run downward along my arms, raising goose bumps on my flushed skin. When there is an upwards tug on my shirt, I realize his intentions.

"Axel-stop!" I rip myself scramble to the other end of my bed and hold my shirt down, as if the redhead might pounce on me and try to rip my clothes off. He looks like a kicked puppy. Damn his pity factor.

"Give me a reason why not, Rox. You said you loved me, and I love you. Right?" I nod unsurely. "And you did say your room is almost sound-proof, also correct?" I hate it when he's right, I nod again. The pyro moves closer, so close, and leans in by my ear. I do my best not to flinch. "Then why not Roxas?" he used the name I gave myself instead of my girly name…

"Axel, I just can't…. I have my reason, but I can't. I do love you…"

The redhead gets the puppy look again before getting up and staring at a blank, black wall. "Lemme guess…. You love me, but only like a brother… fine, I see how it is…" he starts for the door.

Oh crap, I have to tell him or lose him now, don't I…? "Axel, wait…" I whisper. He turns around, face void of any emotion except pain.

"Yeah Rox?

"It's not you, it-it's me." he starts to speak again, probably to guess another outlandish reason. "Axel, I didn't want to…" I choke for a second "have sex with you because I'm…" he waits expectantly. I can't do this, I can't do this…

"I'm a freaking hermaphrodite. " I whisper, looking away.

The bomb is dropped, no turning back. I close my eyes nervously, waiting for the sound of a slamming door and someone running down the stairs in a mad dash to leave, but it never happens. Instead I find myself in a warm, soft, sweet hug.

"Oh, Roxy, I'll love you no matter what you are." Axel breathes huskily, squeezing me softly.

"Really Axel?" I look up in disbelief.

The redhead chuckles and peers down at me. "Of course." He leans down touches my nose with his. "You know, with all the sea-salt ice cream you were eating, did you happen to be practicing for something?"

I groan, though I can't help but smile. "You can always come up with a joke, huh?"

"Yes, yes I can. It's one of my many talents. Just like, I'm betting, your talent is to lick salty, popsicle-like things." He smiles evilly.

I groan. "I'm sorry Axel, not now, or for a while. That's just too big of a step for me right now… sorry…" I turn his puppy dog look back on him.

He looks crestfallen, but not for more than a few seconds. "That's fine. You'll come around eventually." The redhead winks and gives me an almost rapist-like smile.

I close my eyes and shake my head in amusement. Whatever. I feel a hand pulling my face up again, so I open my eyes

"I'll settle for kisses for now." He smiles before leaning down to kisses me softly, slowly trying to push his tongue into my mouth, when there is a female scream from down stairs. We jump apart, breathing hard. Uh-oh. Mom's home. And I'm betting that whatever made her scream was very bad if it went through my sound-proofed walls.

Axel: You turned me into a perverted teen… I like it*grins*

Me: Great!*grins too*

Roxas: Me, on the other hand, you turned me into a freaking mutant*groans and faints*

Axel: Yah know, he is kinda a girl, it makes sense… maybe I should get him into bed to check if this is just a story or if it's true…*scheming*

Me: O_o

Roxas: *wakes up* Wha'd I miss?