Beach Party (with Maes)

"Beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach-beach!" Maes screamed, riding on Ed's head and pulling viciously and Ed yelped. "Owww! Mom! Get the baby off of me!" Riza quickly relieved a Edward of his baby brother, and Leroy sniggered at him.

"C'mon Ed, or you'll never get in the water!" Leroy grabbed his sister Ilia by the hand and raced towards the water close on the heels of Roy. Roy picked them up and jumped into the water, and Ilia and Leroy gasped as the cold hit them. "You guys alright?" he asked, readjusting his sopping wet eye patch. Ilia struggled away from him and swam in circles in the water, flinging water at her brother. Leroy got up on Roy's shoulder and jumped on her, pulling them both under, and Roy laughed pulling them back up again.

Riza was playing with little Maes and pushing Al and Alley gently towards the water encouragingly. "Go on you two, don't you see your brother and sister having fun?" Ed clamped his hands on the twins' arms and pulled them to the water. "Come on, it'll be fun! I won't let you go under, I promise."

Maes watched his siblings wistfully and pointed to the water. "Can I go too, Mama?" Riza shook her head and picked him up. "No, Maes, you're too little. Maybe next year."

"What's the difference between this year and next year?"

"You'll be bigger next year, and Daddy will teach you how to swim."

Maes stuffed his hands into the pockets of his shorts and pouted sulkily. "Aw, okay… I'll do something else then…"

He ran back to the car and dragged out a large cardboard stand. He set it up in the middle of the beach under an umbrella and took out a plastic cone with a styrofoam ball taped to it. Riza sighed, remembering Maes's little games, and put a camera in front of him.

"Hello evewybody! It is time for Beach Pawty with Maes! If we look to the wata, we will see… Lewoy being wobbed of his surf board!" Roy leaped out of the water and tackled Leroy, bowling him over and pushing under water, taking control of the surf board in question. Leroy, having been disgracefully robbed of his board, trudged off to land with a sullen expression on his face.

"Look! Daddy's pwetty good with a surf board, isn't he? Oh yeah. Today is vewy hot, so hot in fact, that you probably shouldn't be out here… obsewve…" he stuck his arm out from under the shade and his arm started to burn. He quickly dunked it into a bucket of cold water and it steamed rather unpleasantly. "So, don't go out too much today. Today's wata safety wule is to never go into the water without swimming clothes, it's indecent and… uh… well, it's just indecent."

"Now we'll see who's doing what on the beach… Mama is reading a book in the shade 'cause she don't like cold wata, and Ilia is sleeping on the sand… Daddy's being bad and watching Mama with a pair of binoculas… vewy closely…" Roy glared at him and hid the binoculars behind his back and waved at Riza when she looked over her book at him. Roy noted that it was a romance novel and that he would probably be a very happy man tonight.

"Lewoy, on the other hand, is watching for anybody who is spying on Ilia, cause he don't like people spying on her…" Leroy was to be seen beating the heck out of another teenager for peeking at his sister on the beach. There was a snap, and a burst of flame, and all was quiet…

"Ed-Monster is screaming at some old guy… let's watch!"

Ed was indeed screaming at some old guy at the top of his lungs. "I'M NOT A MICROSCOPIC BEAN WHO'S SMALLER THAN AN ANT AND KEEPS GETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER, YOU HEAR ME?"

"Ed-Monster needs anger management!" Maes declared happily. "Al and Alley are arguing the merits of automail mechanics and swords, declaring each more useful than the other. I can't understand half of what they're saying anyway, so I don't care!"

"Now! It's time for breaking news!" Everyone stopped their immediate activities and stared at him. "Play with me now! Pwease?" Everyone laughed and Maes finally got the attention he wanted from the rest of his family.

"And that's all for today's, Beach Pawty with Maes!"