I stand unscathed,
Saved by some cruel twist of fate,
My best friend at my feet.
His lifeblood soaks into the cold hard ground,
Draining him of his strength.
He is dying.
Unbidden, tears come to my eyes,
Exposing my despair
For everyone to see.
Through my haze of tears,
I see a hand reach out to me.
It cups my face gently.
I almost laugh
At the cruel irony
Of this moment.
Here he is,
Waiting to die.
Yet still, he tries to console me.
I wipe my eyes,
Unsuccessfully attempting
To stop the tears.
I force a smile
Onto my face.
He's not convinced.
He sees right through me
And knows that my world
Is crumbling down inside of me.
"Don't cry",
He says,
"It's okay."
I laugh bitterly
At his futile words
Of comfort.
We both know
Things will never be okay again.
Not if he's gone.
I stare at him sadly,
Drowning myself
In his warm amber gaze.
This may be the last time
I ever see it.
Something inside me snaps.
I break down,
Knowing that
He will soon leave me.
So many things left undone,
So many words unsaid.
Everything has been taken from us.
A wave of self hatred rushes over me
As I realize
This is all my fault.
I changed his life,
Throwing him into a world of constant danger.
He gave his life to save mine.
He speaks,
Seeing the look in my eyes,
"Saving you was my choice".
"Don't blame yourself
For my decisions".
His voice is faint.
There's not much time left
Before the spark of his life
Fades away.
We were best friends,
Could have been more.
But his life has been cut short.
The crushing weight
Of regret
Makes me fall to my knees.
I speak his name
There is something I need to say.
"I love you".
His eyes widen
Showing surprise
At my words.
Me smiles and whispers
"Me too".
I close my eyes in sadness.
They open again,
As I feel something
Gently caressing my lips.
I see orange hair
And kind brown eyes.
He is kissing me.
I fiercely respond,
Twisting my fingers
Into his soft orange hair.
Kissing him desperately,
Knowing this will be the last time.
I need him.
As his grip loosens,
I lower him back down
To the ground.
A lump in my throat
Prevents me from speaking clearly.
"Please don't go".
I whisper the words,
Quietly,
Pleadingly.
We both know
He won't survive.
My heart has shattered.
I struggle to contain
The sobs
Welling up inside me.
I shake my head
In anguish.
My eyes close once again.
I put my hand on his chest,
To find that
Hiss breathing is labored.
His breath
Comes in short shallow pants.
His heart is failing.
As his heartbeat
Slows down
And stops,
I feel
A biting cold.
My black sun has gone out.