It's quiet, too quiet. No ringing telephones, no sound of footsteps, no keyboards in use. The usual laughter is missing, just as the clicking of heels on the wooden floor. She is missing.

Lunches aren't supposed to go like this.

It's not supposed to be quiet.

I'm not supposed to stay behind alone, with my head on my desk where it rests on my arms.

I'm not supposed to hide my face behind my long black hair.

I'm not supposed to fight my tears.

Yet today, it is that way.

Frost and Korsak are somewhere further up the street eating lunch, Frankie's probably with mom in the cafeteria and me, I'm sitting here. Not hungry enough, not enough strength to go downstairs.

I hear the bell of the elevator and how the doors open, but I pay no attention to it. Footsteps move in my direction, but I don't look up, because I know it's not her. She walks differently, her footsteps sound different.

Only when I hear my name do I look up.

"Jane…"

"What?" My mother can read the pain on my face and sits next to me.

"Why are you sitting here? Why aren't you downstairs with your brother having lunch? I thought you weren't working on a case. What's wrong?" I sigh and look away to a picture of me and Maura, the head medical examiner and my best friend.

"She's gone." My voice cracks and I look back at mom while I keep fighting against my tears.

"Who's gone?"

"Maura, she's gone."

"What do you mean 'she's gone'?"

"She… She hasn't been at work for three days. She doesn't answer my texts. She doesn't pick up when I call her."

"Maybe she's sick and her phone broke? Have you checked it downstairs?"

"Yeah, she didn't call in sick, but.." I take a deep breath before I continue, but I know it won't take much longer before I'll burst out in tears. "She did call.. She resigned."

"What? Why would she do that? I thought she loved her job?"

"I don't know, Ma, I really don't know." My voice is a whisper whil I quickly wipe away the first tear.

"Have you been to her house?" I nod.

"Yeah, but you'll never believe what I found out. She um.. She sold her house." I hear my mother take a sharp breath and then the silence washes over the room again. I can only hear our breathing. "She didn't leave an address. She didn't say a word to me. She's gone."

"Oh, Jane, I'm so sorry…"

"But why? Why is she gone? Why so sudden? Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know, Jane.."

"I miss her already.."

"I know, Jane, I know." She rests her hand on my arm and squeezes gently.

"Ma, could you please leave me alone for a moment and go downstairs?"

"Come with me, you have to eat at least something."

"I'm not hungry." I look back at the picture on my desk and see from the corner of my eye that mom keeps watching me, worry written all over her face. "Ma, go. I'm fine." She keeps watching me for a mere second, then finally stands up. I hear her footsteps fade away, the bell of the elevator and the doors which open and close. Then it's silent again.

It's only me again. Only me, my breathing and my sorrow.

Maura was special. She was my best friend, but friends are replaceble. I've had a few other friends, another friend is easily found.

Maura was the best Medical Examiner I've ever worked with. There will be another one, probably not as good as Maura, but he or she will just take over her job.

I can have lunch with my brother or partner, I'll never have to be alone.

In the evening, I can just continue working, or go to Ma. I can fill my evenings, even without her.

Those things aren't the problem. On those subjects, I can live with Maura's leaving.

There's one thing that'll keep bugging me, though.

I never told her and now I probably won't ever get to tell her.

She'll never know how much I love her. That she means so much more to me than just my best friend.

I'll never get the chance to tell her.

She'll never know.